I’ve already made a thread about it, but I can’t seem to find it, but I’m having trouble again.
I don’t know why but I pray every night. It seems like it gets harder and harder to pray because the though constantly comes back into my mind.
“Is he real?”
“Why and how is he real?”
“Are you just wasting your time?”
I want to get these out of my head, and I’ve been fighting and fighting and I just need your prayers to help me.
Also, how do you guys believe in Jesus so confidently? Have you ever gotten these thoughts like me?
Thank you so much, bless you. Happy Thanksgiving by the way
Well, faith comes from God. You cannot give yourself faith
You can stay open to God (since through reason alone one can know God with certainty) and learn about the Lord in the Gospels and in Sacred Tradition. There has been a point in your life in which your belief in Christ was so solid you could say you knew Christ. Such a moment brought forth my return into the Church. If I ever (God forbid) were to dwell on such thoughts, or if God, for mysterious reasons and my own sake, were to let me enter such a time of trial, then I would hold on to that one time in my life (though, unworthy as I am, I experienced a few of those times) and ignore all those questions on the faith of that one instant, just like the blind man would hear no reason from the teachers of the law and hold on to one fact: that man, Jesus, cured his eyes. But if I never had such an experience, or if I would forget it, then, because of what I have learned about Christ and the gospels, I would still follow Christ through a sheer act of will: that is, perhaps I would not know for a time (perhaps a long time) how to answer those questions, but I would choose Christ.
We all have gone (I think?) through crises of faith in our life. I certainly have, at least seriously, once. I asked myself those very questions. I considered with great seriousness (and, now, to my great shame) to give everything up. It felt “dark” inside, like nothing was real. Then one day, that is, when God willed it, I stopped short and realized one simple truth: it was of no use. To whom would I go? Only Christ has words of eternal life.
God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us.
Hold on to the faith more than you would hold on to your life: for even the dead find life in the words of Christ. Even the dead heard His voice, and those who listened received eternal life.
Who are we to judge His Divine Majesty by our imperfect thoughts and senses? We often forget that we are but blind people, “and if we say we are not blind, our sin remains”…we often forget that the Bride wears a veil until admitted into the heavenly banquet, where the Bridegroom will take it off, and “we will see Him face to face”…Kind enough is our Beloved in granting us more than we deserve, meaning the gift of His eternal presence in the Sacraments and in the Holy Eucharist, as well as extraordinary gifts of His sensible presence (ex. Eucharistic miracles, private revelations, and, sometimes, motions of the spirit upon reception of the sacraments) which manifest His divine presence.
Consider Our Lady after the angel spoke to her. Consider her the following morning. Imagine her waking up and sitting on the bed, pondering on what had happened. Had an angel truly appeared to her? And those words he spoke…my God, he spoke of bearing a child through the power of God…the son of the Most High…imagine her placing her hand upon her belly and thinking of the divine child…her son…was he already there, patiently growing unto the fullness of time when she would give birth? How could she be sure? But of course, Our Lady never had any doubts, because her
yes to God, her
fiat, was perfect. Once she said yes to God, that yes, like Christ’s
amen, was beyond time.
Why isn’t our yes like that? Why us, imperfect creatures, so often give up the solemnity of our baptismal vows which should be eternal, and question the very reality of God? Surely it is part of our fallen nature, surely Christ understands us and forgive us…and even goes to great lengths to mercifully justify us before the Father…but us, we should remember that even love is only in part made of feelings…the rest is made of free will…of choices…of being willing to take risk…yes, the romance, at first…the passion…but then, when we think of matrimony, the questions come…how do I know that this is real? How do I know that she loves me? How do I even know that I love her? What if all of this is a waste of time? That is the dark time in which the presence of the Beloved won’t solve things…it is only us who can solve things, by making the definite choice…we are in Getsemane, in the darkness, alone…nobody there to help us…only one answer to give…may the Lord grant you light to understand the answer, the wisdom to trust like a child, and in the end, eternal salvation and the glory of His presence.
P.s.: try reading the
Spiritual Canticle of St. John of the Cross.
way to good for me. We married later and now have another blessing I prayed for, a child.