I need help!

[IgnatiusBenedic]

GodLoves and Joseph,

Thank you for your response and “2-cents worth”. I’d value it at more than 2 cents by the way.

She has said she feels betrayed because she married me as a Methodist and she knew at that time we believed the same things. Now she thinks we are worlds apart.

I have reassured her of my love and fidelity and she’s certain of it I believe. I think my main concern with all of this isn’t whether she’s going to leave me, it’s over having a happier marriage. Our marriage could be so wonderful if she would let go of her the resentment she’s stated she has towards me. It’s totally affected our whole marriage. My decision has seemed to have crushed her faith, her self-esteem and confidence in what she knows about Christianity. She admits I “know more” about the Scriptures and history, but refuses to take what I know and consider it.

Joseph,
Praise God you survived in Romania during that period. I bet you have stories as well of how you’ve experienced the Hand of God keeping you safe. Thank you my friend for your kind words. God bless brother.

-James

 

[Liberanosamalo]

Make her jealous for what you have. That will only happen because she sees you are MORE happy, MORE peaceful, MORE prayerful and MORE patient after your conversion.

Maybe deep down you have shaken her own confidence in what she believes. Maybe she is beginning to question her previous assumptions. Just leave it alone and concentrate on what you have in common… scripture and prayer. You will win her over by being the face of Christ in her life. If she sees Christ in you, she will eventually see Christ in the Church.

 

[Joseph_L_Varga]

I remember a comic book where the wife tells to the husband, “when I married you, you didn’t have this huge beer belly”. So, yeah, people do change after the marriage, in various ways. Some of them grow beer bellies, others become Catholics. But I think, James, your wife is still pretty lucky that out of so many possibilities, you chose to change in this particular way.

 

[Cathhsmom]

I know that you have said that you have read “Rome Sweet Home” by the Hahns. But,have you read other convert stories? Try the “Surprised By Truth” series. There are 3 of them. There are stories in there about people who have converted and how hard it was with their spouses. Some of them have spouses that have converted, also. But, many are in it alone. It may help you in how you approach your wife about faith matters.

IMHO, you should start nightly prayer with your wife. Just praying for your family and for her and for your marriage. Just invite God in to strengthen it and to have you as a family grow closer to God. Nothing about Catholic or Methodist.

 

[Try2beholy]

Dear IgnatiusBenedic,
I want to give you a small suggestion that has been profound in my life. Have you ever heard of the green scapular? I went to confession and happened to mention in confession that one of my sons had been out of the Church for a very long time. His wife is not Catholic and was raised by someone who was Jehovah’s witness so she had some understandings about Jesus that were much different than any christian beliefs. Anyway, The priest told me to give them a green scapular and pray the prayer everyday. The green scapular is a devotion for conversion. I did what he said about a year ago. On November 28, my son and his wife will be having their marriage blessed in the Church. My granddaughter will be baptized shortly after. My daughter in law has not converted yet, but recently she told me that she believed the Catholic Church was the true church. I firmly believe this conversion was because of the green scapular. You don’t have to give it to them if you don’t want. You can put it somewhere in your house (under a mattress) and just start saying the prayer. Say the prayer once a day for each person you wish to convert to the Holy Catholic Church. Your faith and God’s grace… no better combination.
In Christ

 

[Kindness]

TrytobeHoly, that’s really interesting because I just found out about the Green Scapular about two days ago! I was amazed there was a Scapular with that promise and I was thinking I should devote more prayer to my brother who is agnostic and not baptised. Seems like God is bringing it to our attention.

IgnatiusBenedic, we are currently living in Germany as my dh is a Neurologist working particularly with men and women coming out of Iraq and Afganistan with Traumatic Brain Injuries (TBI). As I’m sure you are aware with the new technology in warfare soldiers are surviving explosions they would not have done in the past. TBI is considered the “signature” injury of the Iraq war. Many soldiers have no obvious physical injury after an explosion but have suffered brain injury because they were shaken badly in the explosion. The military are now screening for TBI.

The medical unit my dh is working in has a holistic approach and has a range of services available to the soldiers they are treating. My dh has told me that he is amazed at the large amount of soldiers he sees with marital problems. This is for all his patients whether returning from down range or on base. We have discussed it at length and I know they are trying to offer more support and counseling in their medical unit. I don’t know what all the reasons might be but I would say that you are not unusual and therefore maybe you should not put it all down to your conversion. Military marriages are under stresses that civilians are not. Are there counseling services offered to soldiers and their families in your area, or maybe another local counselor? Do you and your wife have any other social support right now?

A suggestion I have is to do some very simple daily devotions together. We have many prayers in common with Methodists. For example you could pray the Lords’ Prayer together and do some daily scripture reading. The first thing my own spiritual director (a very holy priest whose parents are converts!) asked me was whether dh and I prayed together. Another thing you might consider is doing some family devotions during Advent. Again many of these traditions are popular with Methodists and Catholics. Having an Advent Wreath and praying each night after dinner (you can now buy battery powered Advent candles which we are getting this year after a scary Advent Wreath fire last year! ) for example, also the Jesse Tree, which again Methodists use. Of course all the emphasis on the Nativity is the same also. Marriage is our vocation and parenthood in particular is God’s normal method for helping us become saints.

God bless you and your wife. If it is any consolation having small children can be very challenging for marriages and it can be hard for the wife to devote the same attention to her husband while the children are small. Dh and I have found we can spend so much more time together now that our youngest is 3. Much of the stress could be due to the season your marriage is in i.e. your children being very young and needy.