I Want To Redo My Life

[Jovian90]

I am 20 years old and I feel like a failure, I haven’t won a single trophy, accomplished any remarkable feat, and I have no friends. I feel like I have let everyone in my family down including my deceased mother and I don’t want to tell anybody that I am Catholic or Christian because I will just make the faith look bad by my incompetence. I just want God to send me back in time to the year 1998 so I can do fix all my mistakes and live a good life.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

You’re 20 years old. Your life hasn’t even started yet!
Start fixing your mistakes right now from day 1. Also, God doesn’t care if you never win a trophy. All he cares about is how much you love him and your neighbor. Many saints were not exactly successful at their lives apart from that.

 

[TheLittleLady]

This is a very old song, with a message:

 

[HumbleIOughtToBe]

First, not possible to go back. Forward.

Next, everyone has a midlife crisis.

Having no friends is not uncommon in this timeframe, start a young adult group at church.

No one is prepared to do evangelization. You are on Catholic.com, thus you know more than most. If you want to become an expert on Catholicism read 1 book to do more than most of your nonCatholic peers.

Your mother would want you to go onward and not lament here.

 

[Jovian90]

Thanks for the advise, I suppose that I should move on but it’s hard because any time I look back on my life I am reminded of all my failures.

 

[Le_Crouton]

Your life hasn’t really even begun at 20 bro

Just keep it positive and don’t despair. Trust in the lord

 

[HopkinsReb]

I am 20 years old and I feel like a failure, I haven’t won a single trophy, accomplished any remarkable feat

Pretty normal, tbh. Most 20 year olds haven’t done much to brag about.

As for trophies, I have a bunch from when I was a kid. A trophy and $5 will get you a coffee at Starbucks.

I have no friends

This can be fixed.

I feel like I have let everyone in my family down including my deceased mother

I’m sorry to hear that. I didn’t visit my dad nearly enough when he was sick with pancreatic cancer. After he died (this is the first time I’ve told anybody this), I read an entry in his journal in which he lamented that in my last trip home I didn’t spend much time with him, instead hanging out a lot with one of my college buddies. That was the second to last time I saw my dad.

We all have regrets. None of us have time machines.

I don’t want to tell anybody that I am Catholic or Christian because I will just make the faith look bad by my incompetence.

Pretty much everybody is incompetent at 20. Don’t worry about it.

Buck up, sport! Your whole life is in front of you. One little change at a time.

 

[Jovian90]

Thanks these posts are very encouraging.

 

[Lou2U]

20 is so young! Look to the future, don’t ruminate on the past. If there are things you want to change about yourself, start now!

You are not incompetent, you are not a failure. You’re a work in progress, like everyone else. Be kind to yourself.

 

[0Scarlett_nidiyilii]

I’m afraid I don’t have a time machine to give you, ,
But you have brains and energy and a desire to change, and live in a world with lots of resources at your disposal to make changes happen.

Where are you in your life—college, trade school or the work world?

 

[GEddie]

As for trophies, I have a bunch from when I was a kid. A trophy and $5 will get you a coffee at Starbucks.

(Please Note: This uploaded content is no longer available.) Jovian90:

To quote Karen Carpenter, you’ve only just begun to live!

ICXC NIKA

 

[Jovian90]

Hi HumbelOught To Be, thanks for reaching out to me, I am just wondering if you got the post I sent you?

 

[meltzerboy2]

At 20 years old, you haven’t even begun your life yet. If anyone should want to redo their life, I should, because I am almost 50 years older than you and I still haven’t won a trophy! But you know what, if I did redo my life, I’d probably make the same mistakes, or maybe different, worse mistakes that I might regret more. You’re human, not perfect; but you can try to improve your life starting now. Even if you continue to mess up–and we all do–just pick yourself up and try, try again as they say, and, I would add, try a different approach or something else entirely if your initial attempts fail. Not least, be thankful you were given the gift of life and make the best of it by working on being the best person you can, both for yourself and for others.

 

[LawyersGunsAndMoney]

Virtually no one has done anything super impressive at 20. This is the time when you should be laying the groundwork to have some impressive stuff at 35. What is it you want to do, ultimately? What are you interested in?

Also, if you find yourself with these super down-in-the-dumps moods you can’t shake, it might be worth talking to a counselor or a therapist.

 

[Jovian90]

Thanks for all these great posts, I would like to add that I had this one guy in my math class who was a super cool guy and really smart this made me envy him because I am really bad at math, I am sharing this information because I feel like people are always better than me at everything I attempt, weather it’s math, sports, or charity.

 

[HopkinsReb]

I had this one guy in my math class who was a super cool guy and really smart

Sounds like a cool guy. You should make friends with him.

because I am really bad at math

Maybe once you’re friends with him he can help you with math.

I feel like people are always better than me at everything I attempt

It is probably true that there is always someone better than you at everything you attempt. This is true for 99.999% of the world’s population.

math

Not usually a competitive sport, happily.

sports

Ok, this usually involves competition. I recommend golf. Much easier to play without taking the competition part seriously.

charity

Definitely don’t think of charity as a competitive endeavor.

 

[Jovian90]

I think He is above me so I cant be his friend, but I did ask him for math help.

 

[meltzerboy2]

Keep in mind the words of Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel, theologian, philosopher, educator, and civil rights activist: “When I was young, I admired clever people. Now that I am old, I admire kind people.” The latter is all that G-d expects of us, as well as trying our best and never giving up no matter what the challenge.

 

[HopkinsReb]

I think He is above me so I cant be his friend,

What? I have friends who are smarter than I and friends who are less smart than I. Do you restrict yourself to only having friends who are less intelligent than you?

I did ask him for math help

Good.

I love math. Was my favorite subject except maybe statics. I always enjoyed helping people with it. Hopefully this dude is wired the same way.

 

[Jovian90]

No, it’s just that he is more popular than me.