I was DENIED Wine (Christs Blood) at Mass Today. Felt deeply hurt

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I felt wronged and hurt today at Sunday Mass today.
(I am a Baptized/Confirmed lapsed Catholic that hasn’t been to church in a while, but I did go to confession recently)

So after I had the Communion host I went over to take a sip of wine, but I wasn’t too sure how to do it properly ( I wasn’t sure what to say/do and it was somewhat an awkward split second moment).

I told the lady holding the wine " I’m not sure what to say/do but I’d like to part-take of sipping the wine".
**The lady said back to me in a mad voice “If you don’t know what to do then It’s not for you.” **
She pretty much shooed me away from the wine.

I really felt hurt after that. I really want to get back into the Catholic faith but that made me feel like I was lower than dirt. Maybe it really isn’t for me.
 
Just from what I read right here, it seems as if she might have thought you weren’t Catholic or something, since you said you didn’t know what to do. That, and the fact that you called it “wine”, when in fact it is “Jesus’ blood” may have left her unsure what to do. Sometimes when put on the spot people don’t know what to do - although perhaps she could have been more, shall we say, eloquent in refusing you the Blood, I would give her the benefit of the doubt. I would also advise in the future to either observe what people before you do or ask the priest or a fellow parishioner before Mass what you should do when receiving the Blood.

Also, I am aware that you probably feel hurt because she said “it isn’t for you” but keep in mind that you still received Christ’s Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity by receiving the Eucharist, so I hope you can at least be consoled by that.
 
I would talk to the parish priest. I am sorry that your faith was disrespected. I, too, stopped attending church for too long and things changed during that time (mostly language used) and it took me some time to get back into the routine. However, I must say that I was “welcomed home” by many people which made me realize how much I missed the love and mercy of the Church.

If you have another Catholic Church near you then you could consider going there. I have found that churches are like a spouse - you have to find the right fit!
 
A few comments.

a)It sounds like the lady did not word things very well, but she probably has never experienced a situation like this before. Most Catholics are taught either as children or as converts how to receive the cup, and since you didn’t know what to do, probably thought you were a non-Catholic, since you did not.

b) When you receive the host, you receive the Body, Blood, soul, and divinity of our Lord, thus it is not required, nor is it necessary to receive from the cup.

c) Since you did not know what to do, it is probably better that you did not receive so as to avoid spilling the Blood.

d) If you wish to receive from the cup in the future, watch what other people are doing, it is pretty simple, the minister of the cup says “Blood of Christ” and you reply “Amen” then they hand you the cup and you sip from it and hand it back.
 
I am so sorry you experienced this. Know that you received the whole of Jesus in the Host. Next time what you need to do is first, something reverent…bow, bend your knee or nod your head. Do this while the person in front of you receives. The minister says “the Body of Christ” ; You say “Amen”. Take a sip. Hand it back. And forgive the minister. She has a duty, to protect the Eucharist: stop someone who carries the host away, don’t let someone dip the host into the chalice etc. Maybe she just got flustered. Peace be with you.
 
When you received the Host ( Body ) you said, Amen! When you receive the Wine ( Blood ) you also say, Amen.
 
I know my Mom takes 1 Corinthians 11 pretty seriously. The part of it that goes:
27So then, whoever eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty of sinning against the body and blood of the Lord. 28Everyone ought to examine themselves before they eat of the bread and drink from the cup. 29For those who eat and drink without discerning the body of Christ eat and drink judgment on themselves. 30That is why many among you are weak and sick, and a number of you have fallen asleep. 31But if we were more discerning with regard to ourselves, we would not come under such judgment. 32Nevertheless, when we are judged in this way by the Lord, we are being disciplined so that we will not be finally condemned with the world.
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My grandfather has Alzheimer’s. She will take him communion, but she will ask him first to see if he is “aware” enough to recognize that the Eucharist is the Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity of Jesus. She is seriously afraid that if she gives him the Eucharist, and he is not in a cognizant enough mindset at the time, that she will be assisting him in receiving the Eucharist unworthily, and that it would be a sin against God, probably moreso on her part than his, due to his medical condition.

So it might be charitable to interpret it as perceiving it as a situation where you may be drinking judgment upon yourself or sinning against the Blood of the Lord, and wanting to prevent that from happening, if you were uncertain in your actions/responses.
 
I am sorry to hear about this misunderstanding. I have no doubt that she thought, based on what you said, that you were a non-Catholic.

Could she have been more gentle? Sure, she could have. Should she have take the time to educate you? No, I don’t think so. That is not her job, and she is not prepared to explain how you should do it.

You say it was awkward for you. I can tell you it was awkward for her too. You didn’t know what to do. She didn’t know what to do. Let’s call it even. Let go of your pride. Forgive and forget. Try again.

One way to learn is to observe how other parishioners receive the Precious Blood. Most likely, they presented themselves silently, perhaps bowing, but not so low or so close as to collide with the chalice if the minister happens to extend or raise it slightly. The minister then declares “The blood of Christ,” to which you respond “Amen,” then take the chalice and drink (usually sip) and hand the chalice back. Then you could make the Sign of the Cross and return to your place to say a silent prayer of praise and thanksgiving.

Peace be with you, and welcome back!
 
Receiving the Precious Blood is a lot like receiving the Precious Body, except that it involves an exchange of a cup.

In both cases, get in the Communion line and, when the person ahead of you is receiving, briefly bow (nod) your head, as an act of reverence to Jesus’ Real Presence.

When it is your turn to receive the Precious Blood, simply walk up and stand in front of the Eucharistic Minister with the cup and wait silently. She will eventually raise the cup containing the Precious Blood and say, “The Blood of Christ.” You should respond by saying, “Amen.” The minister will then hand you the cup. You carefully take the cup from the minister, take a small sip of the Precious Blood, and then carefully hand the cup back to the minister.
 
Beryllos said:
I have no doubt that she thought, based on what you said, that you were a non-Catholic.
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I totally agree.

OP, if I had been in her shoes, I would have also interpreted your words to mean that you were non-Catholic. Be charitable and assume she was protecting Jesus’ blood, as we all would desire her to do. Note that section from Corinthians - that’s a very important aspect!

The replies in this thread have given you all the info you need to learn from this unfortunate event and return next time set for success.

Don’t be discouraged. Welcome back! 🙂
 
Beryllos said:
I am sorry to hear about this misunderstanding. I have no doubt that she thought, based on what you said, that you were a non-Catholic.

Could she have been more gentle? Sure, she could have. Should she have take the time to educate you? No, I don’t think so. That is not her job, and she is not prepared to explain how you should do it.

You say it was awkward for you. I can tell you it was awkward for her too. You didn’t know what to do. She didn’t know what to do. Let’s call it even. Let go of your pride. Forgive and forget. Try again.

One way to learn is to observe how other parishioners receive the Precious Blood. Most likely, they presented themselves silently, perhaps bowing, but not so low or so close as to collide with the chalice if the minister happens to extend or raise it slightly. The minister then declares “The blood of Christ,” to which you respond “Amen,” then take the chalice and drink (usually sip) and hand the chalice back. Then you could make the Sign of the Cross and return to your place to say a silent prayer of praise and thanksgiving.

Peace be with you, and welcome back!
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Exactly.
Be at peace.
 
Seems she jumped to conclusions. I wouldn’t think in this situation it was her place to judge whether the communicant was a non Catholic or as was simply the case, a Catholic who had been away awhile but had gone to confession. The OP had just been given the body before moving onto the chalice. I thought confession was all that was necessary in order to be back in good graces.
 
Returner said:
I felt wronged and hurt today at Sunday Mass today.
(I am a Baptized/Confirmed lapsed Catholic that hasn’t been to church in a while, but I did go to confession recently)

So after I had the Communion host I went over to take a sip of wine, but I wasn’t too sure how to do it properly ( I wasn’t sure what to say/do and it was somewhat an awkward split second moment).

I told the lady holding the wine " I’m not sure what to say/do but I’d like to part-take of sipping the wine".
**The lady said back to me in a mad voice “If you don’t know what to do then It’s not for you.” **
She pretty much shooed me away from the wine.

I really felt hurt after that. I really want to get back into the Catholic faith but that made me feel like I was lower than dirt. Maybe it really isn’t for me.
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Normally, I didn’t think laypeople can refuse someone Communion? 🤷
 
SuperLuigi said:
Normally, I didn’t think laypeople can refuse someone Communion? 🤷
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Normally, a practicing Catholic would not say " I don’t know what to do, but I’d like to partake of the wine".

It’s the precious blood.

And such conversations are not the norm. Could she have been nicer? Sure. But it was an odd situation. I’m sure she believed she was preventing possible abuse. Let’s give the woman the benefit of the doubt.
The OP should make sure to be prepared next time, that’s all. As many have said, he did receive Christ, Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity, in the form of the host.
 
Returner said:
I felt wronged and hurt today at Sunday Mass today.
(I am a Baptized/Confirmed lapsed Catholic that hasn’t been to church in a while, but I did go to confession recently)

So after I had the Communion host I went over to take a sip of wine, but I wasn’t too sure how to do it properly ( I wasn’t sure what to say/do and it was somewhat an awkward split second moment).

I told the lady holding the wine " I’m not sure what to say/do but I’d like to part-take of sipping the wine".
**The lady said back to me in a mad voice “If you don’t know what to do then It’s not for you.” **
She pretty much shooed me away from the wine.

I really felt hurt after that. I really want to get back into the Catholic faith but that made me feel like I was lower than dirt. Maybe it really isn’t for me.
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Maybe you just need a refresher course. No one is out to shun you.
But you have to admit, it was a bit odd. The people distributing communion and the cup of the Precious Blood are people just like you.
It’s your chance to forgive, as Christ forgives all who have been away and return.
Be at peace.
If this one incident would cause you to turn away from the Eucharist, that would be very sad.
I hope you will reconsider, and forgive.
 
Returner said:
I felt wronged and hurt today at Sunday Mass today.
(I am a Baptized/Confirmed lapsed Catholic that hasn’t been to church in a while, but I did go to confession recently)

So after I had the Communion host I went over to take a sip of wine, but I wasn’t too sure how to do it properly ( I wasn’t sure what to say/do and it was somewhat an awkward split second moment).

I told the lady holding the wine " I’m not sure what to say/do but I’d like to part-take of sipping the wine".
**The lady said back to me in a mad voice “If you don’t know what to do then It’s not for you.” **
She pretty much shooed me away from the wine.

I really felt hurt after that. I really want to get back into the Catholic faith but that made me feel like I was lower than dirt. Maybe it really isn’t for me.
Click to expand...
Hey, Happy Easter!

First off, I’m very glad to hear that you chose to go to confession recently. It is very good to experience God’s love and mercy in the confessional.

Now that you’re starting to come back into going to Mass regularly again, I think it would be a good idea to read some books to help refresh you on the Faith. Two books I would suggest is “Catholicism” by Fr. Robert Barron (ignatius.com/IProducts/278156/catholicism.aspx) along with “The Mass: The Glory, the Mystery, the Tradition” by Mike Aquilina and Cardinal Wuerl (adw.org/mass-glory-mystery-tradition/). While I have not read “Catholicism”, I’ve read good reviews about it, and I’ve been told that his TV series on EWTN is just absolutely wonderful. I’m in the process of reading “The Mass”, and I must say, Cardinal Wuerl and Mike Aquilina are great writers. I think those two books would be very beneficial to you.

If you also want to read a story about a couple coming to Catholicism, then I would suggest “Rome Sweet Home” by Scott Hahn and Kimberly Hahn (ignatius.com/Products/RSH-P/rome-sweet-home.aspx). I think you might be able to connect with this couple.

Also, if you have any other questions, feel free to ask them here on these forums. Don’t be shy, because asking questions is how you’ll get to know the faith better.

Welcome back, and God bless!
 
pianistclare said:
Normally, a practicing Catholic would not say " I don’t know what to do, but I’d like to partake of the wine".

It’s the precious blood.

And such conversations are not the norm. Could she have been nicer? Sure. But it was an odd situation. I’m sure she believed she was preventing possible abuse. Let’s give the woman the benefit of the doubt.
The OP should make sure to be prepared next time, that’s all. As many have said, he did receive Christ, Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity, in the form of the host.
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Or she could have given the returning Catholic the benefit of the doubt instead of taking it upon herself to decide it was not for him after he had already been given the body.
 
midori said:
I know my Mom takes 1 Corinthians 11 pretty seriously. The part of it that goes:

My grandfather has Alzheimer’s. She will take him communion, but she will ask him first to see if he is “aware” enough to recognize that the Eucharist is the Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity of Jesus. She is seriously afraid that if she gives him the Eucharist, and he is not in a cognizant enough mindset at the time, that she will be assisting him in receiving the Eucharist unworthily, and that it would be a sin against God, probably moreso on her part than his, due to his medical condition.
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This doesn’t make much sense. There is nothing about the Eucharist that requires the recipient to be cognizant of it. Ministers should take care that the recipient is capable of swallowing ordinary food so that the sacred species are not profaned, but your grandfather’s Alzheimer’s is not what is being referred to in the Scripture passage you quote. Note that infants are frequently communed in the Eastern rites.
 
bobballen_18 said:
Just from what I read right here, it seems as if she might have thought you weren’t Catholic or something, since you said you didn’t know what to do. That, and the fact that you called it “wine”, when in fact it is “Jesus’ blood” may have left her unsure what to do. Sometimes when put on the spot people don’t know what to do - although perhaps she could have been more, shall we say, eloquent in refusing you the Blood, I would give her the benefit of the doubt. I would also advise in the future to either observe what people before you do or ask the priest or a fellow parishioner before Mass what you should do when receiving the Blood.

Also, I am aware that you probably feel hurt because she said “it isn’t for you” but keep in mind that you still received Christ’s Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity by receiving the Eucharist, so I hope you can at least be consoled by that.
Click to expand...
AMEN ~ When in doubt ask a priest to help you. And remember the lady knew nothing about your circumstances. God Bless, Memaw
 
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