I was DENIED Wine (Christs Blood) at Mass Today. Felt deeply hurt

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Returner said:
I felt wronged and hurt today at Sunday Mass today.
(I am a Baptized/Confirmed lapsed Catholic that hasn’t been to church in a while, but I did go to confession recently)

So after I had the Communion host I went over to take a sip of wine, but I wasn’t too sure how to do it properly ( I wasn’t sure what to say/do and it was somewhat an awkward split second moment).

I told the lady holding the wine " I’m not sure what to say/do but I’d like to part-take of sipping the wine".
**The lady said back to me in a mad voice “If you don’t know what to do then It’s not for you.” **
She pretty much shooed me away from the wine.

I really felt hurt after that. I really want to get back into the Catholic faith but that made me feel like I was lower than dirt. Maybe it really isn’t for me.
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Let me preface this by stating that I am a seminarian, and thus have a pretty good idea what I’m talking about.

Short Answer: You were in the right.

Slightly Longer Answer: The Extraordinary Minister (i.e. a non-ordained person) does not have a right to deny Communion, the Pastor (or another ordained minister) does. As it is not the case that the EM was ordained,** the assumption is that you are not in a state of mortal sin**, and thus should be able to receive.

If you were baptized, and have gone to confession recently, and haven’t murdered anyone, then you should be OK to receive.👍 Really, the only way you can be denied is if they know you are not Catholic; or if you are, they know you have committed a mortal sin, or are excommunicated. Even then, the pastor is the one to direct the Extraordinary Minister. 🤷
 
Lamentation said:
Let me preface this by stating that I am a seminarian, and thus have a pretty good idea what I’m talking about.

Short Answer: You were in the right.

Slightly Longer Answer: The Extraordinary Minister (i.e. a non-ordained person) does not have a right to deny Communion, the Pastor (or another ordained minister) does. As it is not the case that the EM was ordained,** the assumption is that you are not in a state of mortal sin**, and thus should be able to receive.

If you were baptized, and have gone to confession recently, and haven’t murdered anyone, then you should be OK to receive.👍 Really, the only way you can be denied is if they know you are not Catholic; or if you are, they know you have committed a mortal sin, or are excommunicated. Even then, the pastor is the one to direct the Extraordinary Minister. 🤷
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That is a good reason why I am NOT crazy about EMHC’s. And don’t you think people who know they should not be receiving Holy Communion or doing it for ill gotten reasons, know that. That may be the very reason they go to EMHC’s instead of the priest. I set up front at Mass every Sunday and I see people dash out the side door right after receiving in the hand. I don’t always see them put it in their mouth or if they really are or just pretending to. Doesn’t anyone care what happens to Our Lord? Are the feelings of people more important. That man should be thankful the EMHC cared enough to question. It was his responsibility to know how to receive before going up. I was under the impression one couldn’t receive unless the hands were held properly. Also, is murder the only sin that keeps us from receiving Holy Communion unworthily?? I’m afraid your giving the wrong impression ! think there are many more, if we take time to learn. God Bless. Memaw
 
Memaw said:
That is a good reason why I am NOT crazy about EMHC’s. And don’t you think people who know they should not be receiving Holy Communion or doing it for ill gotten reasons, know that. That may be the very reason they go to EMHC’s instead of the priest. I set up front at Mass every Sunday and I see people dash out the side door right after receiving in the hand. I don’t always see them put it in their mouth or if they really are or just pretending to. Doesn’t anyone care what happens to Our Lord?
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Of course one should care about what happens to the Body of Christ. If one is not properly disposed, then it falls on the recipient to be judged, but by Christ Himself, not by the one giving out Holy Communion. What you are saying seems to suggest that the minister is responsible for the Consecrated Host’s efficacy in regards to Grace, when in fact it is the recipient.

If you were to give two people communion, both of which knew exactly what to do, but only one actually believed in the Real Presence, would they both receive Grace in the same manner? Saint Bonaventure would suggest no, as he held that the graces received and actualized through love and charity were dependent on the faith of the recipient. In the same manner, if only the person who did not believe went up knowing what to do, but both were given Communion, the believer would still be better off.
Memaw said:
Are the feelings of people more important. That man should be thankful the EMHC cared enough to question. It was his responsibility to know how to receive before going up. I was under the impression one couldn’t receive unless the hands were held properly.
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The preferred form of receiving the Body of Christ in the Latin Rite is actually on the tongue, with no hands involved; but this does not preclude receiving in the hands, as is the case in the United States (and many other countries). Also, it would deny those without hands Communion, if that were the case. The method of holding one’s hands are really just a gesture of piety towards the Real Presence.
Memaw said:
Also, is murder the only sin that keeps us from receiving Holy Communion unworthily??
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What do you think? :rolleyes:
 
Returner said:
I felt wronged and hurt today at Sunday Mass today.
(I am a Baptized/Confirmed lapsed Catholic that hasn’t been to church in a while, but I did go to confession recently)

So after I had the Communion host I went over to take a sip of wine, but I wasn’t too sure how to do it properly ( I wasn’t sure what to say/do and it was somewhat an awkward split second moment).

I told the lady holding the wine " I’m not sure what to say/do but I’d like to part-take of sipping the wine".
**The lady said back to me in a mad voice “If you don’t know what to do then It’s not for you.” **
She pretty much shooed me away from the wine.

I really felt hurt after that. I really want to get back into the Catholic faith but that made me feel like I was lower than dirt. Maybe it really isn’t for me.
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I do feel bad for you and I remember hearing that only a priest can actually deny someone the Bread and Body, but really someone being snippy is a lame excuse not to embrace the Truth and love of the True Church.
 
SuperLuigi said:
I do feel bad for you and I remember hearing that only a priest can actually deny someone the Bread and Body, but really someone being snippy is a lame excuse not to embrace the Truth and love of the True Church.
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The Euch. Min. should not have been snippy, but saying they have no right to deny Communion to anyone is wrong.
If the person appears they have no idea of what they are receiving…the Euch. Min. should protect the Eucharist from desecration.
 
truetofaith said:
The Euch. Min. should not have been snippy, but saying they have no right to deny Communion to anyone is wrong.
If the person appears they have no idea of what they are receiving…the Euch. Min. should protect the Eucharist from desecration.
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Except that Canon Law is very clear on this (emphasis mine):
Can. 912 Any baptized person not prohibited by law can and must be admitted to holy communion.
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An argument could be made from Canon 913 §1, which states (emphasis mine):
Can. 913 §1. The administration of the Most Holy Eucharist to children requires that they have sufficient knowledge and careful preparation so that they understand the mystery of Christ according to their capacity and are able to receive the body of Christ with faith and devotion.
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However, the OP did have understanding of what was being received, as evidenced by their going to confession beforehand. The OP, it is assumed, has also not been excommunicated recently, nor has the OP committed a mortal sin (as they would have gone to confession again).

As this is the case, it was wrong to deny the OP the Precious Blood. It is cases like this why we are seeing the retention rates that we do. After all, who would want to go to a church where you are accosted for trying to do the right thing?🤷
 
I’m not excusing the EMHC’s tone, but I am not surprised that based on the conversation, the EMHC would have doubted whether the OP was in fact “a baptized person who was not prohibited by law.”

Perhaps a clarification - “I’m sorry, but are you Catholic?” Then trust the answer the person gives you, because if they are lying then that is on them. But it is still an awkward position to be in for the EMHC as well. I’m not surprised that in the “heat of the moment” they didn’t act in the most charitable or appropriate way. It probably doesn’t happen very often.

There are non-Catholics who visit parishes who attempt to receive Communion just because they see everybody else doing it, or because they’ve attended Protestant services with their version of communion and assume that it’s open to everyone. 🤷
 
This is another reason I never wanted to be a Eucharistic Minister.
 
This probably isnt the case in the USA or other places with all kinds of different Catholic and Eastern Churches, but in many Eastern Catholic and Orthodox places, if the priest doesnt know you and you haven’t confessed to him personally, especially someone who hasn’t attended in a while… its normal to meet the priest first… if they don’t know you, they would ask you on the spot and if your answers were wrong, they’d ask you to meet them after Liturgy to see if you are in good standing
 
=SyroMalankara;12947541]This probably isnt the case in the USA or other places with all kinds of different Catholic and Eastern Churches, but in many Eastern Catholic and Orthodox places, if the priest doesnt know you and you haven’t confessed to him personally, especially someone who hasn’t attended in a while… its normal to meet the priest first… if they don’t know you, they would ask you on the spot and if your answers were wrong, they’d ask you to meet them after Liturgy to see if you are in good standing
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WOW!

That is awesome!

God be praised!
 
Rosebud77 said:
It is for me another reason I do not receive from an LEM .
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:ehh:

I’m having a very hard time understanding why one would care whether or not they receive Communion from one person and not the other, all things being equal. Jesus is Jesus, whether you receive him from a priest or from a layperson. 🤷
 
=Lamentation;12948415]:ehh:
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I’m having a very hard time understanding why one would care whether or not they receive Communion from one person and not the other, all things being equal. Jesus is Jesus, whether you receive him from a priest or from a layperson. 🤷
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as a FYI only

The issue for many is that Priest and Deacons HAVE Consecrated hands and EM’s do not.👍
 
PJM said:
as a FYI only

The issue for many is that Priest and Deacons HAVE Consecrated hands and EM’s do not.👍
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🎉

This is of course true, but my worry is if one’s hands should factor into one’s decision regarding whether or not to receive Communion.

Again, the one who distributes Communion has no effect upon the efficacy of the Body and Blood of Christ; in the same way that receiving Jesus on one’s hands or one’s tongue does not effect the graces received. To suggest that it does would be to suggest that humans can control the power of Christ through their actions, which is errant.
 
PJM said:
as a FYI only

The issue for many is that Priest and Deacons HAVE Consecrated hands and EM’s do not.👍
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When the priest puts the Host in your hand, do you realize your hand is not consecrated? :confused:
 
truetofaith said:
When the priest puts the Host in your hand, do you realize your hand is not consecrated? :confused:
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That’s exactly the point. The folks in question (some of my traditional-minded friends among them) only receive on the tongue and only get in the communion line for the priest with the consecrated hands.
Lamentation said:
Again, the one who distributes Communion has no effect upon the efficacy of the Body and Blood of Christ; in the same way that receiving Jesus on one’s hands or one’s tongue does not effect the graces received. To suggest that it does would be to suggest that humans can control the power of Christ through their actions, which is errant.
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I’ve never heard anyone suggest that. I think the issue for them is their reverence towards the body of Christ, not the efficacy of the sacrament. I have a lot of appreciation for their argument that the general switch from COTT to CITH brought with it a decrease in reverence and an attendant decrease in belief in the Real Presence.
 
Wampa said:
That’s exactly the point. The folks in question (some of my traditional-minded friends among them) only receive on the tongue and only get in the communion line for the priest with the consecrated hands.

I’ve never heard anyone suggest that. I think the issue for them is their reverence towards the body of Christ, not the efficacy of the sacrament. I have a lot of appreciation for their argument that the general switch from COTT to CITH brought with it a decrease in reverence and an attendant decrease in belief in the Real Presence.
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The proof is in the pudding! Look at the lines for Confession and then the lines for Communion. Apparently we’re all saints! If we had true reverence for Our Lord in Holy Communion, we would want to be SURE our sins are absolved before we receive. And more Catholics would want to go to daily Mass as often as possible, and visit The Blessed Sacrament often. Adoration hours should be growing, not difficult to fill. All an indication of reverence. If we truly want to see a change in our society we better start taking these things seriously. Say the Rosary every day. God Bless, Memaw
 
Memaw said:
The proof is in the pudding! Look at the lines for Confession and then the lines for Communion. Apparently we’re all saints! If we had true reverence for Our Lord in Holy Communion, we would want to be SURE our sins are absolved before we receive. And more Catholics would want to go to daily Mass as often as possible, and visit The Blessed Sacrament often. Adoration hours should be growing, not difficult to fill. All an indication of reverence. If we truly want to see a change in our society we better start taking these things seriously. Say the Rosary every day. God Bless, Memaw
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👍👍

And now the excuses may start pouring in…
 
OP, it all sounds like a misunderstanding on both sides. You didn’t do anything wrong, your words were misinterpreted…just forgive the EM for her snippy tone and know what to do next time. 🙂
 
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