I was DENIED Wine (Christs Blood) at Mass Today. Felt deeply hurt

[Allegra]

It doesn’t sound like either of you expressed yourselves well. I suspect that what you said led her to believe that you weren’t a Catholic. Next time, just watch what everyone else does and be prepared ahead of time. If someone had come up to me and said the same thing, I probably would have thought the same thing. She wasn’t being mean to you. She was protecting both you and the Eucharist.

 

[Memaw]

My point exactly.

Have you taken the classes needed to be an EMHC God Bless, Memaw

 

[Beryllos]

Normally, I didn’t think laypeople can refuse someone Communion?

I had to search a while for an official answer, and here is one:
Archdiocesan Manual for Parish Trainers of Extraordinary Ministers of Holy Communion (Archdiocese of Atlanta)
which contains these instruction on denying Holy Communion:

Denying Holy Communion

There are practically no situations when Holy Communion should be denied by an extraordinary minister. Church norms state that: “Any baptized Catholic who is not prevented by law must be admitted to Holy Communion” (Redemptionis Sacramentum 91). The extraordinary minister should not make a judgment on the worthiness of any individual to receive Holy Communion. In the case of individuals clearly living a life in discrepancy with church teachings, the decision is to be made by the pastor, in consultation with the Archbishop, and he will then inform the extraordinary ministers involved. If the extraordinary minister is unsure whether an individual is Catholic or has received their first communion, he should ask them or their parent, and if they reply that they are not, the extraordinary minister should let them return to their pew without receiving communion.

I looked at several other archdiocesan training manuals — they are not all the same — and several other documents, and this is the first one I found which addresses SuperLuigi’s question.

Further to the OP: The EMHC who denied you Holy Communion may not have been trained on this detail, or may have forgotten her training. Her denial does not represent prevailing attitudes towards Catholics who are coming back to the Church. The error is regrettable, but pardonable, I hope you agree.

 

[truetofaith]

The Euch… Min. was rude but telling her you don’t know what to do, but want to sip the wine, would make anyone deny giving it.

 

[pianistclare]

Or she could have given the returning Catholic the benefit of the doubt instead of taking it upon herself to decide it was not for him after he had already been given the body.

Well, maybe it wasn’t as bad as we assume it was. The OP is embarrassed. Plain and simple. She was confused by his words. That’s’ for sure.
It’s easy to beat up the unknown person in this case.
I’m not willing to do that.

 

[pianistclare]

I had to search a while for an official answer, and here is one:
Archdiocesan Manual for Parish Trainers of Extraordinary Ministers of Holy Communion (Archdiocese of Atlanta)
which contains these instruction on denying Holy Communion:

I looked at several other archdiocesan training manuals — they are not all the same — and several other documents, and this is the first one I found which addresses SuperLuigi’s question.

Further to the OP: The EMHC who denied you Holy Communion may not have been trained on this detail, or may have forgotten her training. Her denial does not represent prevailing attitudes towards Catholics who are coming back to the Church. The error is regrettable, but pardonable, I hope you agree.

Yes, that is the point. Forgiveness.
A person who has been away fro a long time can easily become confused.
A person taking her job seriously, can easily mistake someone who is fumbling fro a non-Catholic.
Forgiveness all around.
He DID receive Holy Communion.

 

[PJM]

=Returner;12893422]I felt wronged and hurt today at Sunday Mass today.
(I am a Baptized/Confirmed lapsed Catholic that hasn’t been to church in a while, but I did go to confession recently)

So after I had the Communion host I went over to take a sip of wine, but I wasn’t too sure how to do it properly ( I wasn’t sure what to say/do and it was somewhat an awkward split second moment).

I told the lady holding the wine " I’m not sure what to say/do but I’d like to part-take of sipping the wine".
**The lady said back to me in a mad voice “If you don’t know what to do then It’s not for you.” **
She pretty much shooed me away from the wine.

I really felt hurt after that. I really want to get back into the Catholic faith but that made me feel like I was lower than dirt. Maybe it really isn’t for me.

I’m TRULY sorrry for you’re experience BUT,

What she said was WRONG, while what she did was “right.”

Because the Consecrated Bread and Wine ARE Jesus Christ, it would be inappropriate to receive these Sacred gifts without a full understanding of them.

God Bless you and WELCOME HOME dear friend!

Patrick

 

[Elizium23]

I’m TRULY sorrry for you’re experience BUT,

What she said was WRONG, while what she did was “right.”

Because the Consecrated Bread and Wine ARE Jesus Christ, it would be inappropriate to receive these Sacred gifts without a full understanding of them.

God Bless you and WELCOME HOME dear friend!

Patrick

I think you mean “without a oneness of Catholic belief” rather than “without a full understanding” because children below the age of reason regularly receive the Eucharist . Understanding is not necessary for the efficacy of the sacrament. We can imagine that the EMHC did not believe the OP was a baptized Catholic, and that is a valid reason to deny the sacrament.

 

[BartholomewB]

I’m sorry to have to say this, Returner, but I think it was more your fault than hers. You should have had the courtesy, if nothing else, to find out in advance what is considered the right way to do it. As PJM already commented, her words seem to have been unnecessarily brusque, but refusing you the wine may nevertheless have been the right thing for her to do in the circumstances.

What do you do now? Find out what exactly you’re expected to do and say, and then go back and try again. To stay away just because some silly woman hurt your feelings would be sheer childishness.

 

[SWolf]

I felt wronged and hurt today at Sunday Mass today.
(I am a Baptized/Confirmed lapsed Catholic that hasn’t been to church in a while, but I did go to confession recently)

So after I had the Communion host I went over to take a sip of wine, but I wasn’t too sure how to do it properly ( I wasn’t sure what to say/do and it was somewhat an awkward split second moment).

I told the lady holding the wine " I’m not sure what to say/do but I’d like to part-take of sipping the wine".
**The lady said back to me in a mad voice “If you don’t know what to do then It’s not for you.” **
She pretty much shooed me away from the wine.

I really felt hurt after that. I really want to get back into the Catholic faith but that made me feel like I was lower than dirt. Maybe it really isn’t for me.

Welcome back!

She probably thought you were not Catholic. In that situation I would have done the same, though a little more gentle.

Please, if you have not already, go to confession before partaking in the Eucharist again.

 

[Jay417]

If I may add something, the lady who was the Eucharistic Minister may have had incidents of non catholics trying to receive communion in the past and been a bit nervous. From my own experience I can relate. As an EM I accidentally gave of the blood to a young girl who wasn’t catholic. This girl, about 14-16 came up and seemed to know everything to do and did it well. After mass several older members approached me yelling that the girl was a close friend of another parishioner’s daughter and had been to mass many times, so she just copied her friend. I had no way of knowing, but many parishioners were angry at me and wanted our priest to remove my ability to be an EM. He talked to me and said it wasn’t my fault as I had no way to know, and the family who brought her should have explained things. My point is the EM was rude, but could have been afraid to make a mistake.

 

[Indyann]

Welcome back!

She probably thought you were not Catholic. In that situation I would have done the same, though a little more gentle.

Please, if you have not already, go to confession before partaking in the Eucharist again.

Why may I ask, should the OP go to confession before partaking in the Eucharist again? What mortal sin has he/she committed?

 

[TheOrigen]

If I may add something, the lady who was the Eucharistic Minister may have had incidents of non catholics trying to receive communion in the past and been a bit nervous. From my own experience can relate. As an EM I accidentally gave of the blood to a young girl who wasn’t catholic. This girl, about 14-16 came up and seemed to know everything to do and did it well. After mass several older members approached me yelling that the girl was a close friend of another parishioner’s daughter and had been to mass many times, so she just copied her friend. I had no way of knowing, but many parishioners were angry at me and wanted our priest to remove my ability to be an EM. He talked to me and said it wasn’t my fault as I had no way to know, and the family who brought her should have explained things. My point is the EM was rude, but could have been afraid to make a mistake.

I’d say that the several older members should have been more understanding of your role unless they’d like to add an interrogation of all present as to their status of Catholic faith to the liturgy. It’s this sort of attitude that makes it hard for people to even consider Catholicism.

You didn’t know. I’m sure she didn’t think she was doing any wrong. And then afterwards a parade of angry people show up and be angry as if the God-man who died out of love for us and rose again couldn’t understand that sometimes, when important things involve humans, “oops” happens.

 

[Memaw]

I felt wronged and hurt today at Sunday Mass today.
(I am a Baptized/Confirmed lapsed Catholic that hasn’t been to church in a while, but I did go to confession recently)

So after I had the Communion host I went over to take a sip of wine, but I wasn’t too sure how to do it properly ( I wasn’t sure what to say/do and it was somewhat an awkward split second moment).

I told the lady holding the wine " I’m not sure what to say/do but I’d like to part-take of sipping the wine".
**The lady said back to me in a mad voice “If you don’t know what to do then It’s not for you.” **
She pretty much shooed me away from the wine.

I really felt hurt after that. I really want to get back into the Catholic faith but that made me feel like I was lower than dirt. Maybe it really isn’t for me.

If you don’t know what you are doing and don’t know NOT to call the Blessed Sacrament, “wine”, then you need some instructions. I suggest you stop feeling sorry for yourself and get some, If you haven’t been to Mass since they started allowing Communion in the hand, then that’s a long time. I set in the front row at Sunday Mass and I see all kinds of things and sometimes the EMHCs give Holy Communion when I think its very questionable. That’s the danger of lay people doing it. I have seen people receive it and walk right out without placing it in their mouth. Who knows what their intention was. I know a lady that was breaking it in half and taking the other half home to her Mom. Forbidden!!! I saw her break it in half and asked her about it. When she told me she was doing this I took her over to talk to Father. When priest only did it, I think a lot of people were less likely to abuse it. Years ago I was an EME but I would only take Communion to the elderly and homebound for that very reason. Now I’m one of the elderly but not homebound. God Bless, Memaw

 

[grasscutter]

If you don’t know what you are doing and don’t know NOT to call the Blessed Sacrament, “wine”, then you need some instructions. I suggest you stop feeling sorry for yourself and get some, If you haven’t been to Mass since they started allowing Communion in the hand, then that’s a long time. I set in the front row at Sunday Mass and I see all kinds of things and sometimes the EMHCs give Holy Communion when I think its very questionable.

Whoa! The OP was inquiring about a situation that he/she didn’t understand and deserves to have polite, straight-forward responses.

God bless, grasscutter

 

[pianistclare]

To be honest, the original post was a bit hysterical.
One honest mistake on BOTH of their parts has caused quite a bit of drama.
Like I said before, forgiveness is in order.
Proper Instruction and preparedness is in order
So return to the Eucharist with a pure heart and let this go.
None of this drama is worth staying away from your Beloved, Christ Jesus.
It’s not about us, after all. It’s about our worship and reception of Him.
Peace.

 

[Memaw]

To be honest, the original post was a bit hysterical.
One honest mistake on BOTH of their parts has caused quite a bit of drama.
Like I said before, forgiveness is in order.
Proper Instruction and preparedness is in order
So return to the Eucharist with a pure heart and let this go.
None of this drama is worth staying away from your Beloved, Christ Jesus.
It’s not about us, after all. It’s about our worship and reception of Him.
Peace.

I agree 100%. So many times we make it all about ourselves. God Bless, Memaw

 

[Memaw]

Whoa! The OP was inquiring about a situation that he/she didn’t understand and deserves to have polite, straight-forward responses.

God bless, grasscutter

He was doing more than inquiring. Read the original post. God Bless, Memaw

 

[SWolf]

Why may I ask, should the OP go to confession before partaking in the Eucharist again? What mortal sin has he/she committed?

Consistently missing mass.

It is a moot point, since the original post said he went to confession. I missed it. so Mea Culpa

 

[PJM]

=Elizium23;12906972]I think you mean “without a oneness of Catholic belief” rather than “without a full understanding” because children below the age of reason regularly receive the Eucharist . Understanding is not necessary for the efficacy of the sacrament. We can imagine that the EMHC did not believe the OP was a baptized Catholic, and that is a valid reason to deny the sacrament.

From the current Code of Canon Law:

"PARTICIPATION IN THE MOST HOLY EUCHARIST

Can. 912 Any baptized person not prohibited by law can and must be admitted to holy communion.

Can. 913 §1. The administration of the Most Holy Eucharist to children requires that they have sufficient knowledge and careful preparation so that they understand the mystery of Christ according to their capacity and are able to receive the body of Christ with faith and devotion.

§2. The Most Holy Eucharist, however, can be administered to children in danger of death if they can distinguish the body of Christ from ordinary food and receive communion reverently.

God Bless you,

Patrick