I'd like the opinion of men

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As with another poster, I am also off the market because of
a vocation, but I havent joined the Monastery yet so ill give you my opinion.
As a 23 year old ex-college guy, I believe dressing modestly is much more attractive. I believe probably your biggest problem is not you, but most men. When I was in school, most all of my friends were jerks just looking to use girls. Id say that if you want to meet a good virtuous man, who loves you for who you are…your definitely on the right track.
 
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Stylus:
Excuse my ignorance- what’s the difference? :confused:
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Dating is what friends do, courting implies a progression towards marriage.

Dressing modestly can be very attractive, they aren’t necessarily tied to one another.
 
I like women who dress modestly. It shows they are not allowing themselves to be used by the culture of death- basically, it shows they have respect for themselves as God’s creation, they are smart enough to not fall for the latest fashion trend- whatever it may be, and they are humble enough to realize that their actions DO have an effect on others- especially men (because men are attracted by pictures, women are attracted by words- that’s why most pornography magazines and internet sites are geared to men- and most romance novels are geared towards women).
 
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Stylus:
I’m one o’ those ladies who dresses modestly. I never wear pants- and ya know what? I’ve never had a boyfriend! So, guys I’d like you to tell me, do you like it at all when you see a girl modestly dressed? :confused:
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A minnie skirt and tank top is nice. JOKING.
Seriously though, dress modestly, it’s the best.
 
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Stylus:
I’m one o’ those ladies who dresses modestly. I never wear pants- and ya know what? I’ve never had a boyfriend! So, guys I’d like you to tell me, do you like it at all when you see a girl modestly dressed? :confused:
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From my perspective it really doesn’t matter how a girl dresses as long as it looks feminine.

There is also nothing wrong with a girl dressing to look attractive.
God made us men to appreciate the female figure. As long as girl is in good shape and keeps care of herself there is no reason why a guy wouldn’t be interested or attracted to you.

As for you not having a boyfriend. Don’t worry about that. Most of us Catholics experience that problem. The fact is there are very few churches that support singles catholics.

The best bet you have is to use the internet. catholicmatch.com or something like that.

Just don’t waste your time dating someone who isn’t catholic. Trust me I have done that and it just doesn’t work out.

Good luck.
 
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Stylus:
Different people have different beliefs about what is considered ‘modest dressing’. For me- here it goes!

No pants, shorts, mini-skirts, tight-fitting or sheer clothing, shirts that are sleeveless, or low-cut. I think there’s more but I can’t remember.

Believe it or not I don’t walk around in a U-haul box. I still am able to find stylish modest outfits that make me feel attractive and unique. 👍
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Thanks, Stylus. Sounds perfectly reasonable. Do you wear blouses tucked in and a belt? Or are you among those whose definition of modesty excludes anything that might be considered drawing attention to the waist?

Again, just sussing out the thoughts of a young lady who actually HAS thoughts on this subject. Tell me to get lost if this annoys you.

As for skirts only, even the super-conservative Opus Dei has relented and allowed slacks for its women members. I think well-cut, well-fitting slacks pretty much have crossed over into the feminine attire department.
 
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mercygate:
Thanks, Stylus. Sounds perfectly reasonable. Do you wear blouses tucked in and a belt? Or are you among those whose definition of modesty excludes anything that might be considered drawing attention to the waist?

Again, just sussing out the thoughts of a young lady who actually HAS thoughts on this subject. Tell me to get lost if this annoys you.

I don’t wear blouses tucked into my skirt because I often don’t like the look. Most of the shirts that I buy are the kind that are made to be untucked anyway. I’m not sure how strict rules go as far as drawing attention to the waist, but I think one of the most important thing is not to wear skirts that really ‘hug’ and are a bit too shapely. 😉

And don’t worry- you’re not annoying me in the slightest. It’s a relief for me to be able to discuss this with respectable people who share my opinion. 👍
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Stylus:
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mercygate:
Thanks, Stylus. Sounds perfectly reasonable. Do you wear blouses tucked in and a belt? Or are you among those whose definition of modesty excludes anything that might be considered drawing attention to the waist?

Again, just sussing out the thoughts of a young lady who actually HAS thoughts on this subject. Tell me to get lost if this annoys you.

I don’t wear blouses tucked into my skirt because I often don’t like the look. Most of the shirts that I buy are the kind that are made to be untucked anyway. I’m not sure how strict rules go as far as drawing attention to the waist, but I think one of the most important thing is not to wear skirts that really ‘hug’ and are a bit too shapely. 😉

And don’t worry- you’re not annoying me in the slightest. It’s a relief for me to be able to discuss this with respectable people who share my opinion. 👍
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I’m in the fuddy-duddy league: I go for tucked shirts, belts, socks, polished shoes . . .

That said, I think my (drop-dead gorgeous) 23-year-old daughter looks most appealing with no makeup, hair up in a messy knot, fresh white shirt, untucked, open at the throat and sleeves rolled up above the wrists, with khakis and loafers . . . She wears a big silver cuff bracelet, a silver cross on a short leather band at the throat, and Elsa Peretti “bean” earrings (permanently “borrowed” from her mother!). Sometimes she throws a sweater around her shoulders and ties the arms in front.

She is unaffected, unselfconscious, modest (by current standards) – and always has men sending her flowers. The lads she introduced us to when she was in college were all “husband material.” One day she’s going to make one of 'em very happy. Not that I’m biased or anything of course . . .
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Binary:
What the heck is wrong with pants?
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Many people still consider them masculine. I personally (*personally) *think that train left the station when the First Lady of the United States (Hillary) began appearing at official functions in pants suits and NOBODY NOTICED. The cultural norm had shifted completely. That said, if women feel more feminine, modest, attractive in skirts, then wear 'em!
 
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Binary:
What the heck is wrong with pants?
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Binary,
nothing is wrong with pants but skirts are more comfortable and if I didn’t have to wear jeans to work on some days (when I need to be running cable or working at the barn) I would wear skirts because I do feel more comfortable in them and I think women, even business women should look feminine(I love showing up for business meetings in a suit with a skirt because I think I am treated better when I do). My experience is that some men feel threatened by a woman wearing a power suit with pants but not with a skirt.
 
I think the idea of pants being immodest for women is cultural, not intrinsic. Actually most of modesty is.

I must be a part of the modern culture. I don’t find that PANTS create any more temptations in me than a similar shape covered in a skirt would…
 
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Stylus:
I’m one o’ those ladies who dresses modestly. I never wear pants- and ya know what? I’ve never had a boyfriend!
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Great for you! Modesty is truly a virtue. Give it time, once guys get their minds above their waists, they learn that there is more to a woman than how much skin you can see.

Just be sure that when the guys come around, you pick one that DOES wear pants! 😉

Blessings.
 
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Stylus:
I’m one o’ those ladies who dresses modestly. I never wear pants- and ya know what? I’ve never had a boyfriend! So, guys I’d like you to tell me, do you like it at all when you see a girl modestly dressed? :confused:
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Stylus,

I would encourage you to continue to dress modestly. Men who would be attracted to immodestly-dressed women are not worth having as boyfriends–or husbands.

Do I like it at all when I see a girl modestly dressed? I like it a lot! It shows that the girl has good sense and is reserving her charms for the person for whom she should be reserving them.
  • Liberian
who is in his mid-forties, by the way
 
Even after 5+ years, guys remember how girls used to dress, especially one’s who they found to dress too “vulgar”. Thus, there is a reason why guys do not pursue these girls.
 
Please don’t be discouraged. Dressing modestly is more attractive to me than some girl who is flaunting everything. By dressing modestly you send the message to guys that “I am worth everything, respect me” as opposed to some girl who is dressing inappropriately sending the message to guys that “I am an object, treat me like one” The truth is, YOU are worth EVERYTHING and YOU deserve RESPECT. Defend all of that by dressing modestly and sending the right kind of messages to guys so you don’t have a bunch of slobbering idiots chasing you and thinking wrong thoughts about you. Use modesty as a weapon against the perverted scum guys out there.

Vaughn aka Ryan
 
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Stylus:
I’m one o’ those ladies who dresses modestly. I never wear pants- and ya know what? I’ve never had a boyfriend! So, guys I’d like you to tell me, do you like it at all when you see a girl modestly dressed? :confused:
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Yes, I prefer modestly dressed women.
 
ya know what? I’ve never had a boyfriend!
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There’s part of the problem with American thinking. Your beautiful curves and sexy body are not meant to “get” a spouse, they’re meant to “keep” a spouse.

The fact that you haven’t yet had a boyfriend is good. It means you are weeding out the bad guys.

Now, no self-respecting man is going to go for a woman who sends the message of frigidity either. You can modestly cover your body without dressing plainly. Ruffles, lace-as-trim, gathers, floral prints, bright colors, jewelry, beautiful hair - all can work.

This is so much like fishing, it’s unbelievable. You select the proper lure to attract only the kind of fish you want, trout won’t always go for the same thing carp do. And you have to fish in the waters where you know your fish lives, trout live in cold streams, carp live in stagnant cesspools. AND you have to use the right presentation, letting a jig sit on the bottom won’t do a thing, you have to “jig” a jig. And finally, you have to have patience, patience, patience. You’re depending on the fish to take action. Sometimes they just aren’t interested. Then BAM! There’s that season in life when they’re all biting like crazy.

Just remember, your bag limit is ONE.
 
I, being only 17, may not be considered a “man”, but I’ll give my opinion anyway.

Girls who dress modestly actually attract more attention than other girls. At first, it’s like, “She’s wearing something different”. Then I think, “Wow, she respects herself and all the guys by not tempting them”. Finally, I think, “I wonder if she’s Catholic”. And I can’t find out if I don’t talk to her, so off I go…

I had just such an experience a short time ago and talked to the girl for a while. I’ll see her again in the Fall because we’re both attending the same college (where I saw her).

Anyway, it’s refreshing to see someone who is willing to save herself for her husband, skin and all. Please, continue to dress modestly and one day you’ll catch “THE ONE”.

P.S. Nice analogy Black Jaque.
 
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