I'd like the opinion of men

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Vaughn7107:
Please don’t be discouraged. Dressing modestly is more attractive to me than some girl who is flaunting everything. By dressing modestly you send the message to guys that “I am worth everything, respect me” as opposed to some girl who is dressing inappropriately sending the message to guys that “I am an object, treat me like one” The truth is, YOU are worth EVERYTHING and YOU deserve RESPECT. Defend all of that by dressing modestly and sending the right kind of messages to guys so you don’t have a bunch of slobbering idiots chasing you and thinking wrong thoughts about you. Use modesty as a weapon against the perverted scum guys out there.

Vaughn aka Ryan
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Ryan speaks a lot of truth here.

I’m not a man, but I can tell you about my own similar experience.

I too dressed modestly yet was often dateless. Some dry spells would last years.

So I finally asked some male friends, “What gives?” To my shock, they told me I was much too classy a lady to even consider dating–I was way out of their league! I was shocked because I had never been standoffish. I thought guys didn’t want me because they thought I wasn’t pretty. These guys reassured me that the exact opposite was true.

The end result was that I had to wait a loooooooong time for the right guy but he, and especially our kids, were worth every second of the wait.

Do not give up. The right guy is out there. And when he finds you, he’ll rejoice that he’s got one classy lady.
 
So I finally asked some male friends, “What gives?” To my shock, they told me I was much too classy a lady to even consider dating–I was way out of their league! I was shocked because I had never been standoffish. I thought guys didn’t want me because they thought I wasn’t pretty. These guys reassured me that the exact opposite was true.
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The end result was that I had to wait a loooooooong time for the right guy but he, and especially our kids, were worth every second of the wait.
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See?! It’s just like fishing! If you want to avoid the weenie little fish, you use a big lure. The little fish know they’re too small to eat that big of a lure - so they leave it alone. And the big muskies won’t waste their effort on tiny baits. But pass that big ol’ plug by the king of the weedbed and WHAM! You’ve got a keeper.

Heh. I remember camping with some boyscouts. They went their way to go a-fishin’ I went my way. When I came paddling back they held up a stringer full of little walleyes. Well, I held up the one and only fish I caught. Their jaws dropped when they saw it was as big as my arm.

That’s all ya need to win the contest, just one.
 
I assume that your a young lady just beginning to explore dating and maybe beginning the process of finding your life mate somewhere down the road. I am an old guy so I can give you some advice after a lifetime of experience. Know this, all young guys are pigs !!!, if you dress immodestly and act that way, I promise you that you will have guys lining up at your door. You will be the most popular girl in school. But some day those little pigs will mature and begin thinking about setteling down and having kids and a good life and not being pigs anymore and being a good husband and daddy! Guess which girl they will be attracted to then…one that they and all of their buddys were with …or the one that they secretly admired from a distance.
Mike
 
Mike Dye:
Know this, all young guys are pigs !!!
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Really? :hmmm: Read the post by FdeS2 a couple of posts ago.
Sorry I don´t know how to do multiple quoting :o
 
Know this, all young guys are pigs !!!
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Nonsense. In fact, quite insulting nonsense. Maybe your parents failed to instill decent moral values in you at an early age (you did say ALL young guys) but mine did not. I knew what was right and what was wrong. I was never the kind of guy who trolled the bars or treated girls like targets or trophies, and I was never one of those guys who thought that sexual conquests somehow made you more of a man. That may be why I never had a serious relationship until I met my wife. I just didn’t date merely for the sake of doing it. I will agree that decent young guys are far more rare these days, but they do still exist. I’ve had several working at my businesses through the years. I would also agree that it would not be unwise for a girl to assume that any guy she does not know well may well have impure motives but you should realize that any “absolute” statement like yours can not possibly be true. Believe it or not, there still are decent parents raising decent kids in the world.
 
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Stylus:
Thank you gentlemen. 🙂 Now- who wants to go out with me? 😛

Just kidding.
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If I wasn’t already happily married, I would be in contact with you. Most women nowadays believe that the more they show, the more attractive they are. Wrong! Hang in there. The right man may be just around the corner.
 
I think you are not looking at the big picture here. You are focused on the trivial notions of fashion.

The fact of the matter is that only 1 out of every 50 people you date is every going to come close to being someone that you can have a relationship with. So why are you so worried about guys not finding you attractive?

When you accept this you will see that there is a lot of searching that you have to. It isn’t about what you wear. It is about finding your man.

You need to ask people of wisdom (like a priest) what are the qualities that you should look for in a man. Don’t be fooled by the twisted notions of our modern society.
 
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kev7:
The fact of the matter is that only 1 out of every 50 people you date is every going to come close to being someone that you can have a relationship with. So why are you so worried about guys not finding you attractive?

When you accept this you will see that there is a lot of searching that you have to. It isn’t about what you wear. It is about finding your man.
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1 out of 50? Where on earth did you get that number? You’re telling this poor young woman she will have to date hundreds of men to find “Mr. Right”? Out of the married women I known none of them dated even close to even 50.

In my case I was unusually blesssed, my husband was the only guy I’ve ever dated, it’ll be our 15th anniversary in Feb. :love:

I agree one can be modest and be very attractive. You don’t have bury yourself in a tent dress to be modest. I’ve worked with many young men at my job in retail. Sure they’ll make comments about the hot chick with the micro-mini and the belly shirt but they make other comments I’m sure you wouldn’t want that go along with it. The kind of a guy you want to marry wouldn’t want his women looking like that in public anyway.

Be yourself. God has already picked out your hubby, you just haven’t bumped into him yet.🙂
 
If a woman is modestly dressed, I would have her attention MORE than just someone who broadcasts that she is available for everything OTHER THAN a serious social relationship.

Basically, I would have MORE respect for a modestly dressed woman. The ‘other women’ and her appearance would wear off with me in quick time.

Women wearing pants is fine, the causal look, I am sure, can be just as modest as that with a dress with an Actual skirt.
 
rayne89 said:
1 out of 50? Where on earth did you get that number? You’re telling this poor young woman she will have to date hundreds of men to find “Mr. Right”? Out of the married women I known none of them dated even close to even 50.

In my case I was unusually blesssed, my husband was the only guy I’ve ever dated, it’ll be our 15th anniversary in Feb. :love:

I agree one can be modest and be very attractive. You don’t have bury yourself in a tent dress to be modest. I’ve worked with many young men at my job in retail. Sure they’ll make comments about the hot chick with the micro-mini and the belly shirt but they make other comments I’m sure you wouldn’t want that go along with it. The kind of a guy you want to marry wouldn’t want his women looking like that in public anyway.

Be yourself. God has already picked out your hubby, you just haven’t bumped into him yet.🙂
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In todays world that is the correct number. 1 out of every 50 is right. The reason for that is that most people today don’t even know what to look for in a partner. Their heads are full of foolish notions they have gathered from opra and the media. If this girl continues on her way she will be one of them. She will be a product of our modern society that is full of lies.

I am also not telling her that she has to date 100s of guys. What I am telling her is to do some research and find out what it means to be a woman. She should also find out what kind of qualities she should look for in a man. For example, Honour, strength, compassion, etc.

If she doesn’t then she WILL go through many guys and end up in her late 30’s depressed and without a family. She might even end up divorced. Most of the women I know are already on this path. They have been with many guys (sexually) and are only now starting to feel old. I know one girl who is divorced at 24. She made the mistake of following the lies of media.
 
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Stylus:
I’m one o’ those ladies who dresses modestly. I never wear pants- and ya know what? I’ve never had a boyfriend! So, guys I’d like you to tell me, do you like it at all when you see a girl modestly dressed? :confused:
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First of all, as a single young man, I would like to thank you for being concerned with modesty. You are an example to all young people. So to answer your question, yes I like to see a girl dress modestly. When I see a girl dressed immodestly it makes me sad. I just think to myself “jeez she must be really lonely or not value the beauty God has given her”. And, of course, it can be an occasion of sin as well, depending on just how immodestly she is dressed and how elastic my neck is feeling at that moment! :eek:

So to echo what most have all ready said, modesty is attractive, modestly shows not only respect for self and respect for others, it shows respect for God and that you want to please Him before anyone in this world! And that is super attractive to a man dedicated to Christ and His bride the Chruch! Especially to this guy right here 👍 .

God bless you!
 
Okay, I’m not a man here. heh…Just felt the need to voice my opinion!🙂
I myself, dress modestly, and never had a boyfriend. I’m now 19 years old, and never had a relationship with a guy. I believe in waiting for Mr. Right (though it seems like he’ll never come). I dress modestly in a different way than you, Stylus. I prefer pants (not hip huggers, it gets annoying pulling up my pants every 2 seconds) over skirts (hey, everyone has a preference!:)), and the only 2 things I look for when choosing a blouse are ones that don’t show cleavage, and as long as the sleeves cover the tops of my shoulders, then everything’s fine for me.

Just hang in there, God will send the right man to you. And me too (P.S, God, can you hurry?) 😛
 
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Firebug:
Just hang in there, God will send the right man to you. And me too (P.S, God, can you hurry?) 😛
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I’m sure to God thinks that He is hurrying, perhaps it slips His mind that He’s outside of time and we aren’t ;).
 
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Firebug:
Just hang in there, God will send the right man to you. And me too (P.S, God, can you hurry?) 😛
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I know that working on God’s time and not our own can be pretty nerve racking (hey I’m 24 and single). However I have to always remind myself that it is the wait that sanctifies and prepares us for the joy of a holy marriage! God is awesome in his infinite wisdom, mystery and mercy!
 
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EsclavoDeCristo:
I know that working on God’s time and not our own can be pretty nerve racking (hey I’m 24 and single). However I have to always remind myself that it is the wait that sanctifies and prepares us for the joy of a holy marriage! God is awesome in his infinite wisdom, mystery and mercy!
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Yep! Obviously, I’m not ready, because if I were, then I’d already be married! 🙂
But it’s still nerve racking, nonetheless! :o
 
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Firebug:
Yep! Obviously, I’m not ready, because if I were, then I’d already be married! 🙂
But it’s still nerve racking, nonetheless! :o
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well…that may be the case for you, unfortunately there are many who are married who don’t wait on God’s time. Thats why about 50% of marriages end in divorce…:nope:
 
I’m a girl and I wear pants, but I try to pick pants that are decent, which nowadays is getting difficult.

Actually, one time I was talking to my aunt and she was suggesting that I wear more tight fitting clothes to get guys. I didn’t listen and I told my mom once and my mom got angry at that comment from my aunt. But when I was almost 12 my own mom made me wear these very short shorts.

I was so uncomfortable and I was shopping with that same aunt and she was pointing out how a young guy was looking at me.I disliked that so much. So I am considered a prude.

Also, I think girls need to know that what they wear really affects a guy. I never really thought that was true, but I was mistaken.

I don’t care now, I can handle it more. Nice dresses and skirts really make women more beautiful and feminine.

Actually, once I heard about this young woman who went to a party and she was basically the only modest dressed girl, yet, she was the one that recieved the most attention from the guys.
 
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Binary:
What the heck is wrong with pants?
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Nothing, and some of us (namely me) consider pants to be the most modest and comfortable clothing to wear. I own neither skirts or dresses, and I also wear shirts without sleeves and I consider myself modestly dressed at all times. I really do not get the whole “no sleeveless shirts” thing either. If it’s 90 degrees out I’m wearing a sleeveless shirt. Are elbows sexy or something? I’ve never found them so.

I think men’s hands are sexy. Maybe you guys should start wearing gloves all the time 😉
 
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BlueRain:
I’m a girl and I wear pants, but I try to pick pants that are decent, which nowadays is getting difficult.
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I don’t understand this either. Where exactly do you ladies shop that you find it difficult to buy pants or any other type of clothing that are modest and decent? What’s “sexy” or trendy changes every season, but classic styles (pretty much all of which are modest) never go out of fashion and I never have a problem finding them year-round in any major dept store or places like Target or Marshall’s if I don’t feel like spending Macy’s prices.

All of the big, popular designers (Lauren, Hilfiger, Claiborne, etc.) make attractive, modest, fashionable (i.e. classical) clothing and all of their designs are knocked off by places like Target, Sears and even Walmart, and eventually both the originals and the knock-offs end up at Goodwill or your local church thrift shop, so basically you should be able to find decent clothing to wear for your budget and if you take care of them and follow the care instructions you will not have to shop again for a long time because the clothing will not go out of style. I have a pair of grey wool dress pants that I’ve been wearing for at least 7 years and they are still perfectly fashionable. When the lining eventually goes, I’ll take them to a seamstress and have her put in a new one.
 
Just thought of something. If you’re shopping the juniors section at the dept. store, try going to the Misses section. You’ll find the clothing far less trendy and revealing. You may need to try on a different size than you normally wear, but you should still be able to find clothes that fit and it will be less difficult to find clothes that cover you respectably.

Everytime I pass a juniors section I shudder at what teenage girls are expected to wear, and not just because most of it is immodest. Most of it is just downright ugly.
 
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