If you Are/Were Single, What Would You Look For in a Mate?

[LynnieLew]

I have found nerdy Catholic men to be loyal, loving and quite attractive. Of course, my hubby is cute too.

My spouse still makes me weak in the knees and I get goosebumps when he smooches me-even after 5 years of marriage.

Sometimes I look at him while he is reading the Summa Theologia, or when we are at Mass together as a family and think-“God, thank you for this wonderful man.”

 

[Fashina86]

LynnieLew:

I have found nerdy Catholic men to be loyal, loving and quite attractive. Of course, my hubby is cute too.

My spouse still makes me weak in the knees and I get goosebumps when he smooches me-even after 5 years of marriage.

Sometimes I look at him while he is reading the Summa Theologia, or when we are at Mass together as a family and think-“God, thank you for this wonderful man.”

hehehe… I completely agree with your first statement. and no, Eamon, you are not necessarily a nerd, but rather an intellectual

 

[turboEDvo]

Fashina86:

hehehe… I completely agree with your first statement. and no, Eamon, you are not necessarily a nerd, but rather an intellectual

Meh. I can be a little nerdy sometimes. I admit it. Oh well, at least I’m the coolest nerd that I know

Eamon

 

[CarolAnnSFO]

cargopilot:

And BTW, CarolAnn? If I were single, I’d be all over you! I’ll bet you’re a babe! And you know you’re way around an airplane, too.http://forums.catholic-questions.org/images/icons/icon12.gif

The fact that you’re a pilot is many points in your favor! Well, if you were single!

For me, the only eligible guys are never-married, widowed, and divorced-with-annulment.

I figure if the guy and I can’t get married in church, with a Mass, then it’s no deal.

Crazy Internet Junkies Society
Carrier of the Angelic Sparkles Sprinkle Bag

 

[cargopilot]

The fact that you’re a pilot is many points in your favor! Well, if you were single!

For me, the only eligible guys are never-married, widowed, and divorced-with-annulment.

I figure if the guy and I can’t get married in church, with a Mass, then it’s no deal.

Crazy Internet Junkies Society
Carrier of the Angelic Sparkles Sprinkle Bag
[/quote]

Hey CarolAnn,

I dunno. You better leave those pilots alone…they’re nuthin’ but trouble. Pilot’s wives everywhere, are forced to share their husbands with an aluminum mistress. Egotistitical maniacs that think they’re all fearless and swashbuckling ultra-men. (Except me, of course, I’m way above that. )

Don’t change your minimum requirements one bit. You’re right, the guy that can’t marry you in the Church is NO DEAL.

 

[BlestOne]

After a horrible marriage and a painful divorce I made a list of what was important to me:

1. Being Catholic is a very big part of my life. I want a Catholic husband to be able to share that big part of me.
2. Couple that pray together have about a 1% divorce rate as opposed to the national average of 50% So I decided I can’t marry anyone that can’t or won’t pray with me.
3. We must share the same views on religion, politics and sex or it just won’t work. This is because there were sexual issues in my first marriage.
4. He has to be open to children. Although I am 42, I don’t want a guy that thinks we don’t need any more…of course we don’t NEED any more but if God blesses us with children…who am I to say no?

 

[Melanie01]

Being single and in loveis a TRAGEDY if you are middle aged, fat, plain, filled with bad habits and HE is everything you are not

Thank the Lord I can cry into my long suffering cat
it is tragic comedy…

 

[turboEDvo]

2. Couple that pray together have about a 1% divorce rate as opposed to the national average of 50% So I decided I can’t marry anyone that can’t or won’t pray with me.

Word!! I agree.

Eamon

 

[Fashina86]

turboEDvo:

Word!! I agree.

Eamon

me 2!

 

[Firebug]

1.) Must be a good, practicing Catholic
2.) Must want children
3.)Must have a sense of humor
4.) Doesn’t have to be a rocket scientist, but must be able to help with homework
5.) Must be strong and have common sense during a crisis (I have a tendency to go hysterical).

That would actually go good in a newspaper ad! http://www.tropicalfish.site5.com/ubb/smilies/cwm32.gif

 

[Tazgurl21]

1. a good personality
2. be respectful and have good sense of humor
   3.looks don’t realy matter to me well just alittle.
   4.faithful catholic

Don’t know cuz I don’t really date much.

 

[pittsburghjeff]

When I was single, I held out for everything I wanted.

I wanted someone who was completely Catholic (no contraceptors, please)

And yes, looks are important (no that doesn’t make me superficial)

I married her in 2004 and we have a great marriage and now a handsome 2 month old son

 

[GirlfromIreland]

I am single and I look for God’s subtle indications either giving me the go ahead or not, of course provided attraction is there to start with.

I would not date / court (?) somebody that I was not attracted to, however, I find many men attractive. I nearly always prefer talking to a man as opposed to a woman. While I have many female friends, I just find men much funnier. A funny man would have much more chance with me than a classically good-looking guy who I don’t find funny. Physical attraction is important, but he doesn’t have to be really good-looking for me to find him attractive.

However, some men I am just not attracted to and I would never try to force myself to be attracted to them or go out with somebody that I just knew I would never be attracted to.

However, being attracted to somebody (even if they are also very Catholic) does not mean that I would necessarily go out with them if they asked me. A second “set of traffic lights” must also be green and that is whether I feel God is inviting me to respond and date this person. (when I say “date” I am not referring to casual friend dating). I do think God gives pointers if we ask him and if we also keep the airwaves as clear as possible through confession etc Too many hearts are broken through casual dating, I don’t think getting addicted to the buzz of short-term casual dating and being on an emotional see-saw from the buzz and then the heartbreak is what God had in mind for us. I think he wants to preserve us emotionally as well as physically for the person he has in mind for us.

 

[Donna_P]

cargopilot:

In my secular world, I’m around a bunch of guys who tend to be cocky, arrogant, vain and full of themself. Admittedly, I’m more than a little like that, too, but many of them are divorced, re-married, etc. and under the facade, are lonely and miserable.

They don’t have a clue on what to look for. Of course, since I’m Catholic, I have a tremendous advantage. I give them pointers, but I get laughed at.

If you are/were single, what would you value most in a potential spouse?

I thought this was going to be about virtues. Your poll responses where laughable. Try again and this time with discernment.

 

[WanderAimlessly]

I am single and could not vote. Not looking since I am going down another path.

PF

 

[cargopilot]

Donna P:

I thought this was going to be about virtues. Your poll responses where laughable. Try again and this time with discernment.

Hi Donna P,

Thank you for your helpful remarks about my poll. As a part of my discernment, I’m asking you how I could have presented this in a way that’s less laughable. Please feel free to show me how it’s done.

My poll questions were intended to focus on what I perceive to be an undue emphasis on looks over faith. You see, as I said before, many if not most, of the guys I know, place a female’s looks and body type at the very top of the selection criteria. With Catholic faithfulness and beliefs about marriage being a distant also-ran. I feel it’s very shallow, even foolish to place looks and body-type at the top of the ‘mate-selection’ list of must-haves.

I wanted to see in both male and female respondents, what kind of mate would they pick. For example, if a typical single Catholic male were presented with two females, the first one is drop-dead gorgeous with a killer body, but having minimal to no faith and couldn’t care less about the Sacramental nature of Catholic marriage. The other female having just plain, average looks and is even a little fat, but has very strong faith and would be the ‘dream-wife’ in every way except looks. Which one would he choose?

I’m betting most guys will pick looks over content most of the time. I’m also betting many, but fewer, females will do the same thing, only you can substitute some of those chiseled good looks with money and status.

I’ll admit, I am a little surprised at the number of respondants, both male and female, who didn’t value looks over faith, but then this forum would probably be skewed over the general population. I am a little skeptical of those who said ‘I want it all.’ When it really gets down to it, I think they’ll pick looks over content most of the time.

Again, thank you for your help on this and I’m looking forward to your greatly improved, less laughable poll about virtues. It would be an honor to be one of your first respondants.

 

[Christian4life]

Who says just because you’re single that you HAVE to be wanting a relationship??

I’m married, but if I had it to do over, I probably would look for a lot of the same things that I fell in love with my husband for:

Loves Jesus, Intelligent, sense of humor, generous, willing to volunteer, loves children, supportive, artistic, hardworking, sensitive-but fairly emotionally secure, willing to compromise, passionate, ambitious, respectful and polite, slightly cynical, loves to read

And, if I could make him perfect:

Not too critical, extremely moral, makes Jesus a priority, willing to help out around the house.

I do not think I would ever marry again no matter what, though. Marriage is hard and getting along with someone is nearly impossible. I would live with my sister like we always had planned.

 

[MikeinSD]

He would have to have good legs. And that go all the way up. Legs that work and can carry 4 bags up 2 flights of stairs. He has to be kind. And have a sense of humor. And can think, if pushed. And actually likes me as a buddy.

 

[Veronica_Anne]

Someone who knows that once the ring is on – it STAYS!!

 

[Cairisti]

Well, as someone who is in the process of converting to the Catholic Faith, would prefer he was Catholic. And if he has a Irish or Scottish accent, so much the better.