If you're over 25 and never had a significant other

[kozlosap]

Thanks for the encouragement. My main worry isn’t that I’m 30 and single. It’s that I’m 30 and have never been in a relationship and single. With no current prospects. For me, I can honestly say marriage is not about the big wedding. I dream of really knowing someone and growing old with someone. Having sex outside of marriage is completely out of the question (but that doesn’t mean I don’t think about it!) and I want to have a big family, so that depends on getting married too. I want all the things I’m supposed to want and I want to do it God’s way but I don’t know why things just aren’t lining up for me in this area. You’re right, all I can do is pray and try not to fret.

I think if a person isn’t called to marriage that’s fine and no less noble than someone who wants to get married. That’s his or her choice.

Never give up hope! My 27 year old dated in college and law school, but never had a “real”
Significant Other. Last fall she moved home to study for the California Bar and started talking with, literally, the boy accross the street. They had been friends in high school, but nothing romantic. I noticed he was flying home from Los Angeles quite often, and when she had an emergency appendectomy a huge bouquet arrived immediately! These two have both found love! Meg was also waiting for the earth to move but has since told me that being friends first meant that they didn’t have to play games - they know each others faults as well as strengths! These two kids were both raised Catholic! She is moving to LA next month to look for a job. We are driving down next week to look for apartments. When I see these two wonderful young people together, it makes me think there is love somewhere if only we would stop thinking that it has to start out like a romantic movie from the '40’s.

My team teaching partner is an awesome, handsome very Christian man who went through a terrible divorce 6 years ago. He had a huge “awakening” a few months ago when he was pursuing a woman he thought was nice ---- He text messaged me that he found out that this woman was 25! David is 44. He said that he still thinks of himself as being in his 20’s. We talked about the whole ageist stigma that this society adheres to. He has now expanded his search sphere to include women from 30 to 50! I’ve suggested that he find an online dating service, but so far he hasn’t tried that route.

I’ll pray that you all find happiness whether it’s married or as a single person.

 

[Happy_Convert]

Thank you for sharing. Although you feel that your disability is the “fatal flaw” that may keep a guy from being interested in you, he may be attracted to your strength, perseverance and character. I recently came across this blog written by a woman with disabilities: melissabxoxo.blogspot.com/search/label/Letters%20to%20my%20future%20husband who writes letters to her future husband. I find it very inspirational.

Hi:

I can totally relate to the person who feels that their physical disability is an impediment to their chances of finding romantic love. I too have a significant physical disabilty and I also had to wait a long time to find “the one.” I got involved with an advocacy group for disabled people when I was in my early thirties and met a lovely young lady who is totally blind. Sometimes, though not always, a person who is themselves disabled can look past a disability to see the person. There are websites dedicated to match-making for disabled individuals. Finally, I’m reminded of the words of St. Padre Pio: “pray, hope and don’t worry.”

All the Best

 

[SeekNFind]

Hello SeekNFind, I am 33 (female) and I’ve also never had a significant other and I’ve also never been on a date. I have the same thoughts as you. I am also very old-fashion (attends daily Mass, Pro-Life, never drink, never smoke) and shy (except at work). Glad to know that there are others out there. Thanks for posting.

Yes, you are not alone!

I’m 22 and I am a romance failure. D:

Hi,

I am a 28 years old male and never had a significant relationship. If it is sill the case in a few years and if I don’t hear or feel any call for religious life, I will probably get involved in a kind of humanitarian organization (I had been volunteering for a few
years). I can’t imagine living the rest of my life without any commitment.

I think positively using some of that energy that we expend on relationships (or concern over lack thereof) is a great idea! I’m also planning to kick my service life into high gear after the summer is over. I want to work with children (maybe big sisters?) or volunteer at a soup kitchen.

 

[SeekNFind]

Yes–thats how it happened for me. I gave up, and abandoned my search , giving it over to God. I had to be ok with never finding someone, before I actually met someone. God was teaching me a lesson I still have trouble remembering…Jesus has to be ENOUGH…not Jesus and (insert desire here…wife, money, children…).

Yep, I’ve kinda transitioned into that place of if it doesn’t ever happen, I WILL be okay. Life WILL go on. I am in a full-blown love relationship with God and that might sound weird but that’s how it feels. I imagine that’s the same heady feeling you get when you’re in love?

Never give up hope! My 27 year old dated in college and law school, but never had a “real” Significant Other. Last fall she moved home to study for the California Bar and started talking with, literally, the boy accross the street. They had been friends in high school, but nothing romantic. I noticed he was flying home from Los Angeles quite often, and when she had an emergency appendectomy a huge bouquet arrived immediately! These two have both found love! Meg was also waiting for the earth to move but has since told me that being friends first meant that they didn’t have to play games - they know each others faults as well as strengths! These two kids were both raised Catholic! She is moving to LA next month to look for a job. We are driving down next week to look for apartments. When I see these two wonderful young people together, it makes me think there is love somewhere if only we would stop thinking that it has to start out like a romantic movie from the '40’s.

My team teaching partner is an awesome, handsome very Christian man who went through a terrible divorce 6 years ago. He had a huge “awakening” a few months ago when he was pursuing a woman he thought was nice ---- He text messaged me that he found out that this woman was 25! David is 44. He said that he still thinks of himself as being in his 20’s. We talked about the whole ageist stigma that this society adheres to. He has now expanded his search sphere to include women from 30 to 50! I’ve suggested that he find an online dating service, but so far he hasn’t tried that route.

I’ll pray that you all find happiness whether it’s married or as a single person.

Great story! I’m happy for your daughter.

 

[SeekNFind]

Hi:

I can totally relate to the person who feels that their physical disability is an impediment to their chances of finding romantic love. I too have a significant physical disabilty and I also had to wait a long time to find “the one.” I got involved with an advocacy group for disabled people when I was in my early thirties and met a lovely young lady who is totally blind. Sometimes, though not always, a person who is themselves disabled can look past a disability to see the person. There are websites dedicated to match-making for disabled individuals. Finally, I’m reminded of the words of St. Padre Pio: “pray, hope and don’t worry.”

All the Best

Thanks and God bless you!

 

[SeekNFind]

This thread has been very therapeutic for me God bless you all!

And don’t forget to pray for all of us on CAF seeking virtuous spouses here

 

[John_AH]

It is good know I’m not alone. Thanks Seeknfind for posting this.

33 years old and never had a significant other. Had a close call (who I never saw coming) a few years ago but she took the other option. Now just trying to faithfully follow God’s path for me knowing He will provide when the time is right.

P.S. He is an amazing match maker if you let him guide you.

God be with you,
John

 

[SeekNFind]

It is good know I’m not alone. Thanks Seeknfind for posting this.

33 years old and never had a significant other. Had a close call (who I never saw coming) a few years ago but she took the other option. Now just trying to faithfully follow God’s path for me knowing He will provide when the time is right.

P.S. He is an amazing match maker if you let him guide you.

God be with you,
John

Thanks John! I think He’s way better at it than I ever could be. Why some of us have to wait so long, I can’t say, but He must have His reasons. God bless you while you wait.

 

[skigirl1689]

Hi:

I can totally relate to the person who feels that their physical disability is an impediment to their chances of finding romantic love. I too have a significant physical disabilty and I also had to wait a long time to find “the one.” I got involved with an advocacy group for disabled people when I was in my early thirties and met a lovely young lady who is totally blind. Sometimes, though not always, a person who is themselves disabled can look past a disability to see the person. There are websites dedicated to match-making for disabled individuals. Finally, I’m reminded of the words of St. Padre Pio: “pray, hope and don’t worry.”

All the Best

Thanks for sharing! (I’m the person you were referring to). Yes, anything is possible and I am still very young…but it is tough when my friends are all dating, engaged, or married and I’m just struggling to figure out how to find employment so it seems as though they can no longer relate to my situation. Not that they ever really could due to the fact my life and its challenges are so far removed from theirs. But such is my life!

I find myself going between two extremes, one where I am totally content with my life and disability and the other where I feel like I am grieving the fact I may never marry, have a family, etc. It’s maddening at times! Usually, the negative extreme is sparked by the time after I attend weddings and baby showers where I tend to think of my own situation. I am sincerely happy for the couples and new parents and then I get mad at myself for having negative feelings afterwards and I feel downright selfish.

But I think I am getting better with it…I have to with the next 14 months life is going to be focused a lot on planning my younger sister’s wedding. I’m trying to find the humor in it all (if anyone has been involved in a wedding, I’m sure you know some of the craziness that occurs when planning it) or I think it would drive me nuts

 

[John_AH]

Thanks John! I think He’s way better at it than I ever could be. Why some of us have to wait so long, I can’t say, but He must have His reasons. God bless you while you wait.

SeekNfind,
I’ve had time to pray and reflect about this quite a bit.
He makes us wait because He is preparing us. I think it has to do a lot with the mission He has for each and everyone of us. I think it also has to do with what we ask for.

God bless,
John

 

[Lochias]

Like I’ve said here before, God won’t give us a scorpion when we ask for an egg. There is a real, true joy in knowing that…that He is taking care of us, if we let him. It gives us the primary reason we need to get up n’ go through our day, even when we feel lonely or sad or left-out.

And, too, we can remember what our poor Jesus went through, and how low and dejected and abandoned he felt during his Way of the Cross, and offer our sufferings with His…that way, even our bad days and times are a gift to Him.

Best thing? Can’t wait to share these wonderful gifts and insights with whoever God has chosen for me. Thanks be to God, I’ve got a lot of love and joy I can give her when we meet.