I'm a gay guy. Should I marry a woman?

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No. Don’t. Just don’t. It would not be fair to the woman, or to any potential children. Seek out friendships, both same and opposite sex. Get a room mate. Join parish ministries. Take up hobbies you can do with other people.
 
OP, suppose you met a man. He was a straight man that you lived with because he had no where else to go and he was lonely. You and he were friends and you fall in love with him. Would you be happy being with him knowing he is not sexually attracted to you, and that he would really rather be with a woman?
 
Someone correct me if I’m wrong, but wouldn’t a gay man marrying a woman be like a gay man entering seminary and being ordained a priest; not good?
 
Ok, my first reaction is to say no don’t do it as it really isn’t fair to the woman in the long run even if she initially agrees to it. Now, that being said, I personally might consider something like if it were my second marriage (as in, I’m entering into the union as a widow). I really don’t give a hoot about sex anymore(the interest and importance of it wanes with each passing year) but a close companionship is appealing. So, yeah, hypothetically speaking (as I’m happily married) I would be open to that…but I’m probably in the minority. Perhaps you could find a woman who is also just wanting more of a companionship? Someone asexual?
 
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A homosexual female roommate might be a possibility? There is something blessed about a male/female friendship.
 
Thank you for this engaged response to the issue at hand.
Ask God to send you that one special woman that you COULD fall in love with and be attracted to. God could do this if He chose…I’m not going to say there’s no way it could ever happen. Are you being open to the possibility and going out and meeting women?
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This is basically what the priest said in confession. So thank you for reflecting his thoughts. It’s more about me being open.

Since I cannot ever see myself having a fulfilled life alone, I need to start looking for options that God may send my way. I am gay, in that I do have dominant sexual attraction to men. But could there ever be a woman that I end up being sexually attracted to as well? Probably.

That seems like the Catholic perspective of sexuality. If men and women are truly made for each other, then there must be some possibility of compatibility and complementarity, even for someone like me. Too long I have come under the sway of the modern world that tells me my being GAY means I must live a certain way. But at the same time, I’m also pressured from the CHURCH world. There has to be a healthy, pastoral medium.

It’s much more complicated than black-and-white answers, for sure.
Love is more than sexual attraction, but more important is trust and honesty.
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This is exactly what I’m thinking. A marriage could open up so much goodness. I know I am a caring and sensitive person. I know I am relationship-oriented. I think good fruit could come from a marriage, even if I struggle with SSA as well.

Thanks for this response!
 
I don’t think same sex Attraction would necessarily be an impediment to marriage if one was also opposite sex attracted. I suppose you could also consummate a marriage validly even if you had no attraction to the opposite sex, but again, it just seems like a very unfair and deceitful thing to do to someone
 
catholic1seeks said:
It’s not like the woman wouldn’t know about me.

I wouldn’t hide my SSA from her.

Again, I’m sure MANY women would not want to be in that place. But let’s assume another woman would be open to the marriage. The question assumes the woman is open. I never said anything about hiding anything from her.
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– EDITED –

I’m not in this situation, nor an expert here.

However, I would GUESS that if you found a SSA woman who felt the same way as you and wanted to be your wife so you could raise kids and love one another in a non-sexual relationship (other than having sex for kids - if you wanted to) then I would GUESS it would be ok to do so.

The key is that both parties would need to be 100% upfront with their wishes.

However, I would stay away from a heterosexual woman, unless you found one who doesn’t like sex. In other words, if a heterosexual wife has an average or high sex drive, then it would not be fair to her. But if she has a low or non-existent sex drive, then it might be ok.

HOWEVER, this would require some serious spiritual direction, and some serious pre-Cana. It would also require a lot of remote factors coming perfectly in line with one another. So, I’m not sure if it would be a healthy goal to have/seek.
 
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This is not fair to the other person in the relationship. You would be using her. I highly recommend you contact your local Courage group. They can help with all sorts of questions regarding SSA and adhering to Catholic teaching.
 
catholic1seeks said:
What? Since when has it not been an impediment?
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Oh, now you are going to play games? Look, either you understand what the Church teaches or you don’t. It is not my job to educate you or convert your heart.

But please realize you are not going to get any faithful Catholics on this site to agree with you, nor be converted to your way of thinking.
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I’m inclined to say yes. The kind of woman who would agree to this is likely to be either a little damaged and desperate or she would be convincing herself it’s OK but secretly hoping you would come around. It feels vaguely exploitative. Your hypothetical future wife deserves to have a husband who is physically attracted to her.
 
I guess I would say I’m in the same situation as you. What I would do is try to find unromantic companionship. Maybe find a female roommate, or find friends in your parish.
 
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