I'm a gay guy. Should I marry a woman?

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You said in your OP you have no attraction to women. I can’t imagine a scenario where at the very least a) you would physically be able to have sex with her, or b) she would want to have sex with someone she knows is not attracted to her.
 
My biggest problem isn’t even that you’re gay. It’s that you seem to want marriage to solve your problems. It’s fundamentally unfair to the woman.
 
Look, having SSA is simply not an impediment to marriage, not unless there are other things associated with it (LIKE tricking the woman into marriage, if she didn’t know I was SSA, etc.)

Besides, considering that sexuality is often fluid, this would be absurd: Does that mean NO marriage is valid, even if a man finds SOME men attractive, or if a woman finds SOME women attractive?

I don’t want to misunderstand you, but please understand me: Simply having SSA in itself is not an impediment.
 
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Marriage is about unity…conjugal union, a totality of union across all faculties of the person, not just physical, not just emotional, not just intellectual, not just of desire/will, but totality of union, including a shared end state: union with God, not just in heaven but on earth too.

It’s not just another form of relationship.

You have to raise up and perfect your understanding of what the Catholic Church teaches about marriage.
 
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I also find it difficult to believe you would meet the requirements of Pre-Cana, to be honest.
 
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no it’s not an impediment…I’m bi and am married. And yeah, for me sexuality is fluid…not sure for someone who is more SSA or OSA inclined though.
 
I did, and I appreciate it MUCH.

The fact that you took time and didn’t make it black-and-white was especially helpful.
 
The aim is perfection, ending at death.

The problem with the above “hypothetical” is that it’s terminally imperfect. From the outset it’s intended to be an imperfect union.

HUGE difference.

Catholics need to go back and really understand the BEAUTY AND DEPTH of Catholic marriage; I can tell there’s a grand canyon gap in understanding what a conjugal union is.
 
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I don’t think it is necessary to have a totality of union to have a good marriage.
 
I could only write so much in an OP before people would just ignore the whole thing.

SO if I could clarify now: The marriage wouldn’t simply be about solving issues of loneliness. Rather, I’m saying that marriage would be one potential solution for someone in my situation. Because, up until now — even though I’ve known I was gay for many years — I never really thought about marriage (sacramental/heterosexual sense of the word)…

And part of the reason for my limited way of thinking was because of the modern American/Western culture that tells gay people that they are a separate class of people who are really “different” and so must live out human vocation in THEIR peculiar way (i.e., “gay marriage”). But the Church doesn’t really see gay people over here and straight people over there.

Hence, I think the pastoral and personal responses make more sense, rather than black-and-white.

After all, it was my PRIEST who recommended I started to think in terms of being OPEN to marriage to a woman.
 
@Catholic1seeks I’m going to be honest with you.

I myself also experience SSA. Now, you said you don’t want to be alone, and you are not attracted to women.

I can only guess and think that you are scared that you will be lonely because you can’t have a same sex marriage. You feel that you are relationship-oriented, yet you are not attracted to women. You find yourself longing for intimacy with a man.

Did i get that right?
 
I think people are being a bit too black and white on this and it requires much more nuanced pastoral counseling.
 
I myself also experience SSA. Now, you said you don’t want to be alone, and you are not attracted to women.

I can only guess and think that you are scared that you will be lonely because you can’t have a same sex marriage. You feel that you are relationship-oriented, yet you are not attracted to women. You find yourself longing for intimacy with a man.

Did i get that right?
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Basically, yes. It’s a horrid combination of being relationship-oriented and yet desiring a committed relationship with a man (because of being gay).
 
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Marriage isn’t just another form of a relationship.

It’s different. It’s actually designed to be an imperfect form the Trinity, but I can tell that point won’t resonate given the level of discussion going on here (“I don’t want to be alone”).
 
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@Edward_H

If you aren’t going to be charitable, when clearly I’m asking these questions out of place of deep concern and sensitivity, then why participate? Really?

I mean you’re insulting my intelligence now. You’re not helping.
 
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catholic1seeks said:
I did, and I appreciate it MUCH.

The fact that you took time and didn’t make it black-and-white was especially helpful.
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Do you have a local Courage Chapter near you? If do, I would suggest trying to attend their meetings (if you haven’t tried them already).

I’m sure they would be a big help for you.

https://couragerc.org/courage/

God Bless.
 
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I’m being totally charitable, totally serious, and yet faithful to the “Catholic faith” that you said you love.
 
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