I'm a gay guy. Should I marry a woman?

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I’m pretty confident that an elderly couple in my family that got married in the Catholic Church a few years ago aren’t exactly interested in sex…

But I don’t really want to ask…
 
catholic1seeks said:
I wouldn’t be surprised if many in the Kingdom of God are those persons who ARE in same-sex marriages.
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1 Corinthians 6:9-10

9 Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,

10 Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.
 
The christian marriage ideal is not an marriage without attraction for the sake of not being alone. I do know more than one of those mariages where one spouse with SSA wasn´t able to give the fullest marital love and the marraige ended broken.
 
@pacloc

Ah, and I’m sure this passage has in mind all the subjective factors that mitigate culpability, no?

We can’t just throw out a random verse and think it says everything there is to say about moral theology.

Besides, I agree: On the objective level, homosexual acts are contrary to God’s law. But we can’t equate every grave act with subjective mortal sin. Jesus, again and again, shocked the crowds by proving it was the ones deemed unworthy by society who were actually justified before God. We can’t go off looks.

You’re Orthodox. I’m not sure if they have the same developed moral theology as in Catholicism, which recognizes the difference between subjective culpability and objective morality. I imagine they do.

Regardless, Jesus surprises us with his mercy. We can’t judge a gay couple SIMPLY because they are gay.

If your presence on this thread is going to be about condemning gay folk to hell, then I suggest you find something better to do with your time. That’s not the purpose of this thread.
 
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I literally did nothing other than quote Holy Scripture. You are reading into it all that you have written because you know that what you said is contrary to God’s Word.
 
Please stop. Just stop.

I am well aware of that passage, and other like it, including Paul’s statement at the beginning of Romans.

Everyone here knows that homosexual activity is inherently wrong.

That’s different from condemning every gay person, even in a gay same-sex relationship, to hell. We don’t know their hearts.

And how dare you say I’m acting “contrary to God’s word.” Do you really think I’d be here asking about marrying a WOMAN if I thought the gay lifestyle was 100% OK?
 
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I didn’t claim to know anyone’s heart, I quoted a God-inspired scripture to show that your claim that many people that are in gay marriages are going to be in Heaven. It was a bad statement, because it contradicts Holy Scripture. There “may” be people in gay marriages that somehow enter into heaven, but this would not be anything we should be betting on and definitely trying to tell other people.
 
This is what I originally said:
But what I’m saying is, I think many of us who don’t really know what it’s like to be gay or LGBT simply throw all of them in the category of “sinner” (I know that’s NOT what you’re saying, but hang with me for a sec). And so it becomes easy, at least, to have black-and-white hard rules. We don’t soften the standards, but I think we have to understand that everyone is in a particular situation in life. I wouldn’t be surprised if many in the Kingdom of God are those persons who ARE in same-sex marriages. Christ surprises us.
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And your subsequent reply with the Scripture text implied that this was incorrect, as if everyone in same-sex marriages are NOT permitted entry into the Kingdom of Heaven. That’s not Catholic teaching.

If you don’t claim to know anyone’s heart, then good! We should agree on principle, and we should never have had to argue about what it means for homosexual activity to be objectively sinful.
 
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catholic1seeks said:
And how dare you say I’m acting “contrary to God’s word.”
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I said what you wrote was contrary, not that you are acting, you seem very guilty because you are reacting very strangely to a simple observation. I just wanted to remind you that there is a scripture that says gay people will not inherit the Kingdom of God, yet you claimed that there will be many that do.
 
Where is it defined by the Church that the ideal marriage requires attraction? Objectively, marriage has only the purpose of uniting two people for life. The Church doesn’t interfere with people’s subjective reasons to get married.
 
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People like me are very used to getting the same Scriptural proof texts thrown at us.

It gets tiring. And it’s not ultimately helpful.

AGAIN, you are incorrect. It’s an absolute horrible lie to bluntly say “gay people will not inherit the kingdom of God.” You have to explain what you MEAN by that. Again, in context, you are suggesting that no gay person, even in a same-sex marriage, will be in Heaven.
 
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I figured you would, but Holy Scripture is always helpful, just not the most enjoyable. It would be better for you not to continue worrying about the few that might make it into heaven being in gay marriages, but focus on all of those that will not. This is the point of the scripture.
 
I wasn’t worried about it. It was a passing comment to which you proceeded to throw the Scripture texts at.
 
The truth is always helpful, but it can be more tiring to fight against it than to reconcile ourselves and configure ourselves to the truth. But we must reconcile ourselves with larger truths than our self reports of attractions.

Aquinas, nicely, compared the sensible appetites and the rational appetites.

Our rational appetite is our intellect. The intellect is, as he pointed out, is naturally attracted to the truth. It’s drawn to the truth, the way our sensible appetites are drawn to sensual matters.

But in both cases, there can be distortions, and our attractions can become corrupted, and we can pursue and make assumptions about matters that aren’t truly good for us.

What tires us is an inability to square an iron triangle.
 
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I’m using it in the way that Paul was using it. Having sex with people of the same sex.
 
It gets tiring to hear “homosexual activity is evil [sinful, disordered, etc.].” Because I know that. I know well what the church teachings.

And I think the context of this thread is obvious that I in fact know that.

So it’s not helpful. At this point in my life, it’s rather: So what do I do with this? How do I live when basically my entire being is leading me “evil/sinful/disordered” activity? Hence this thread.
 
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What’s most helpful is to find and reconcile oneself with the truth.

You can’t change the truth, you have to find it and array your intellect, will, and passions toward it.

The truth is outside of us.
The truth is not our feelings.
 
I understand your dilemma, I was merely trying to help you realize it is not good to count on people in gay marriages being in heaven. Something made you want to say that. I think that you understand your problem well, but you have said a few things that seem to cross the line of thinking homosexual sex is not as sinful as what Holy Scripture says.
 
Lia said:
Where is it defined by the Church that the ideal marriage requires attraction? Objectively, marriage has only the purpose of uniting two people for life. The Church doesn’t interfere with people’s subjective reasons to get married.
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Sexual desire is a healthy and good part of a marriage, a tool for a unitive relation ship. As the church defines that a marriage needs to have the ability of the conjugal act (otherwise, permanently impotence wouldn´t be a reason for denying marriage) , you can see the meaning of marital sexuality. It´s not something you can easily skip with no consequences.
As the christian faith teaches us that sexuality is more than the act, but the expression of marital love, desire as a part of this is also important. “Close your eyes and think of england” is nothing very christian.
 
Other than saints, we don’t know who is in heaven. We do know that fornication, sodomy (not used as a pejorative here, merely that saying “gay sex” isn’t inclusive enough) and contracting invalid marriages are great matter. But the OP seems to know that.

I assume that you’ve taken a look at the Spiritual Friendship site? I found it very helpful to me after I came out the closet, even though I have medical issues that make the chastity side of things “easier.”
 
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