I'm a Traditionalist but my family isn't: causing hurt

[Tis_Bearself]

Agreed. The parents don’t need to be “converted” to the TLM. If they prefer the OF, that’s fine. They can just keep on attending it and be perfectly good Catholics. The OP likewise could do the same.

It is not somehow holier to attend or prefer the trad Mass.

 

[LawyersGunsAndMoney]

I get why people like TLM; it’s a beautiful liturgy. However, some of the comments from TLM enthusiasts lately have come dangerously close to implying the OF is invalid. If someone prefers the OF, they don’t need to be “converted.” They have just as much right to their preference as anyone else.

 

[LisaB]

How old are you?

 

[DerKreuzritter]

People were praying Ad Orientem since at least the late 4th Century. I believe there might be even earlier documentation of facing Ad Oreintem, not 100 percent sure.

 

[PeterT]

That’s hard to do. Its hard to follow my conscience and my parents at the same time.

Be humble. You’re conscience doesn’t appear to be well-formed enough to question the decisions your parents are making in regards how your family practices the Catholic faith. If you truly love God, you’ll obey His command of honoring your parents and being obedient and supportive of them. Don’t argue with them about attending a Traditional Latin Mass. Once you’ve become an adult in your own right, you’ll be able to attending as many Traditional Latin Masses as you wish.

 

[Mark121359]

OP, I feel your pain. Those who prefer the TLM come under a lot of scrutiny for some reason. Some of it is self inflicted to be sure. But it doesn’t help our cause when those in high places in the Church hierarchy suggest that young people who prefer the Extraordinary Form are insecure, or worse still…“rigid.”

If you’re a young teen, unfortunately there’s not a whole heckuva lot you can do since you live under your parents roof and well, they’re in charge. But don’t be dismayed. And don’t let that love for the Tridentine Mass subside. You won’t be a minor forever, and then no one can stop you from attending the Latin Mass! Hang in there!

 

[LawyersGunsAndMoney]

OP, I feel your pain. Those who prefer the TLM come under a lot of scrutiny for some reason. Some of it is self inflicted to be sure.

Some of it is definitely self inflicted. At least on CAF, I don’t think anyone has a problem with someone saying “I prefer TLM.” The issue comes in when there’s an unspoken (or sometimes even explicit) tone of “…and that’s why I’m a better Catholic than the rest of you.”

If someone likes TLM, takes communion on the tongue, and prefers to only take communion from the priest, that’s totally fine. Just don’t imply that it somehow makes you better or holier than people with other preferences.

 

[Petrus1]

I see that this post caused some “comotion” here, so let me rephrase it then:
“pray for the softening of your parent’s hearts.”

That was the original meaning of the sentence.
So that the OP’s parents will be more acceptable towards Tradition, after all, from what he/she said, they’re pretty contrary to his/her decision of attending Tridentine Mass.
That’s it.
I would never say that they need to be converted towards Tradition…at least not here

 

[Petrus1]

OP, I feel your pain. Those who prefer the TLM come under a lot of scrutiny for some reason. Some of it is self inflicted to be sure.

I feel it too, but maybe not in the same scale.

Thankfully I have amazing and supportive parents that accepted my decision at the spot, though I clearly remember the look in my mother’s eyes when I said that I wanted to pay a visit to the local SSPX chapel and hear Sunday Mass.

But it doesn’t help our cause when those in high places in the Church hierarchy suggest that young people who prefer the Extraordinary Form are insecure, or worse still…“rigid.”

 

[NevermoreLenore]

I see that this post caused some “comotion” here, so let me rephrase it then:
“pray for the softening of your parent’s hearts.”

That was the original meaning of the sentence.
So that the OP’s parents will be more acceptable towards Tradition, after all, from what he/she said, they’re pretty contrary to his/her decision of attending Tridentine Mass.

In what way do these parents have hardened hearts that should be softened? They faithfully attend mass as a family. One of their kids decides s/he wants to go to a different place and the parents declined. There could be many reasons for this including that the want their family unit to worship together. I guess I don’t get it; a valid mass is valid mass. The parents are not wrong in deciding that their family worships together. There is no reason for them to adjust everything and go to a different mass because one kid decides that s/he prefers something different.

I believe obeying the commandment to honour your father and mother is vastly superior than getting to attend mass that has one’s preferred style. In fact, I am supportive of these parents who faithfully take their family to mass and for their desire to maintain mass attendance as a family unit.

 

[Petrus1]

In what way do these parents have hardened hearts that should be softened?

family that is very suspicious/disliking of Traditionalism.

but everyone else thinks I’m disillusioned by “stupid YouTube Catholics” which is what turned me on to the trad cats in the first place.

This is the second time I’m explaining myself here…

I ask myself, what would happen here if the parents were traditionals and their son or daughter wanted to attend the NO? Would the reactions be the same?
Who knows…

 

[NevermoreLenore]

what would happen here if the parents were traditionals and their son or daughter wanted to attend the NO? Would the reactions be the same?
Who knows…

Yes. The parents have been faithful to take their family to mass as they see fit.

I imagine the tone with which the kid speaks to the parents is relevant, whether haughty or humble, but we don’t have that information. Are the parents REALLY suspicious of ‘Tradionalism’? Or, have they chosen to attend the mass that works best in their life and it’s just not ‘traditional’. Choosing to take their family to the mass they attend probably involves a great many factors: proximity to home, best meets the needs of all family members, etc. I fail to see how the parents have ‘hardened hearts’ because they’re maintaining their faithful practice of taking their family to mass. Why would anyone expect these parents to adjust the entire family and routine because one kid decides a different form is superior?

 

[Petrus1]

(Please Note: This uploaded content is no longer available.)

 

[ralfyman]

I think it involves even more than that, but I can’t give more details at the moment because I am currently reading Fr. Jungmann’s Mass of the Roman Rite.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

I ask myself, what would happen here if the parents were traditionals and their son or daughter wanted to attend the NO? Would the reactions be the same?
Who knows…

Yes, they’d be exactly the same from me. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that because we’re not all insisting that the parents “convert” to the TLM, we think everybody should love the OF and attend it. I personally don’t care which type of Mass someone prefers or attends, but I also think that when you’re a teenager, if your parents want you to attend Mass as a family at Church X offering Mass type A, then it’s not a huge hardship to put up with it for a couple years even though you really want to drive some distance to Church Y offering Mass type B. The whole trad vs modern thing is irrelevant.

I was a teen once myself and have known many teens and “My family is very suspicious/ disliking of XYZ” generally means “My parents disagreed with me about something I think is really important and I think it’s a huge injustice because I’m forced to go along with their view because I have no car or they make the rules in this house.”

 

[LawyersGunsAndMoney]

The TLM persecution complex on CAF is really weird. Guys, seriously…no one is out to get you.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

It’s mildly understandable in view of some of the history like Cupich (I think it was Cupich) banning TLM and the head of the Knights of Malta banning TLM. But only mildly. The vast majority of us Catholics in the pews don’t mind if a TLM exists somewhere or if people go to it. We don’t want to ban it or even discourage it. We just don’t think people should be required to go to it, or that those who go to it are somehow holier or more reverent or better Catholics than those who don’t go to it.

 

[LawyersGunsAndMoney]

Yeah, I should’ve said “no one on CAF…” I realize there are real-life Catholics who actively try to discourage TLM, but 99.9% of us don’t care at all, as you said.

 

[Peeps]

I have a suggestion for the OP.

Get involved with the youth group at his current parish (the ones his parents want him to continue attending).

So maybe the youth group is obsessed with Matt Maher and Casting Crowns, and their idea of a great social is to have a pool party at someone’s house and walk around in swim suits that aren’t exactly Victorian.

Maybe they turn up their noses at the idea of “service project.” Maybe they wouldn’t be caught dead at a pro-life rally. Maybe they would rather sleep than study the Bible or do a group Holy Hour before Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament or pray the Rosary together.

So what? They’re your peers, the ones you will grow up with and grow old with. They’re going through their own angst in their own families.

And it’s just possible that they aren’t obsessing over current music and that they don’t like pool parties because they don’t want to get skin cancer in the sun, and maybe they are already involved with youth service projects that no one hears about because they don’t want people to praise them.

Get involved with them. Grow up with them. Learn with them. Laugh and mourn with them. Study with them.

Hopefully, there are good youth ministers or youth sponsors who have a love for working with teens and a calling from God to do this work, and you will learn much from them.

Do this for a few years until you graduate. Commit yourself to your parish youth group even if they are on a different page than you (hint–ALL of those kids think they’re on a different page than all their peers!), and you will be grateful for all that you experience in this group when you are older.

My only caution is–if your youth group is involved in something truly sinful, like selling drugs or orgies–then you could skip it. But chances are good that all of the teens are struggling with sin, just as you probably are, and believe it or not, any teens in the TLM parish are also struggling with sin. So just get involved and work with all the rest of them to become saints.

 

[DerKreuzritter]

I would not say the novus ordo necessary is traditional. They changed the facing of the Priest to get the laity more involved. Now the Priest instead of facing towards God while offering the mass, he turns his back to God. Scripture also says Christ will return from the east. So the Priest faces Ad Orientem. I don’t necessarily have a problem with a mass in the vernacular, I enjoy going to Anglican Use. But I prefer Latin, because we are the Roman Catholic and how can we be the Latin Church if we do not use Latin and instead use the vernacular.