I'm Catholic. She's Mormon. I need some advice

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MiamiValleyCatholic

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I’m in a relationship with a woman that I see a potential future with. We both want to communicate, commit, and trust oneanother wholeheartedly. We didn’t really bring up the topic of faith untill recently, she had always said she was Christian and that suited me. Recently she revealed that she is Morman. Though she states that she believes and accepts Christ as her savior and has been saved and believes herself to be a Christian practicing the Mormon faith, it dosen’t sit well with me. I’m sure not converting to Mormonism, and she states that her Mormon faith has made her who she is and she will never be a Catholic. I brought up the topic of converting to Catholism and her response was if I try to convert her, she’d be changing herself to suit my needs, not hers. I don’t know what to do. We’re both not budging on Faith, and I want her to see the light, and if things get serious, have a relationship rooted in the Christian faith. Would an interfaith relationship work? Looking down the road if we get that far, what about the saccrament of marriage and the upbringing of kids? Can a Catholic and a Mormon have a successful, meaningful relationship?
 
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I don’t see her being satisfied with the relationship unless you convert as her religion will tell her she cannot reach the highest state of exaltation as gods (together with you) of another world, if you fail to lead the way. That’s what I understand from the many other threads on CAF. You can do a search to find out more.
MiamiValleyCatholic said:
accepts Christ as her savior
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Be aware that the Christ she professes is not the same Christ that you as a Catholic profess.
 
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MiamiValleyCatholic said:
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It requires a dispensation for the impediment of disparity of cult. It would not be a sacramental but a natural marriage. Therefore the sacramental grace is not received that is received in a sacramental marriage. If the Mormon (non-baptized) person is later baptized, the existing marriage becomes sacramental.

Canon Law (CIC)
Can. 1086 §1 A marriage is invalid when one of the two persons was baptised in the catholic Church or received into it and has not by a formal act defected from it, and the other was not baptised.
§2 This impediment is not to be dispensed unless the conditions mentioned in cann. 1125 and 1126 have been fulfilled. …
Can. 1125 The local Ordinary can grant this permission if there is a just and reasonable cause. He is not to grant it unless the following conditions are fulfilled:
1° the catholic party is to declare that he or she is prepared to remove dangers of defecting from the faith, and is to make a sincere promise to do all in his or her power in order that all the children be baptised and brought up in the catholic Church;
2° the other party is to be informed in good time of these promises to be made by the catholic party, so that it is certain that he or she is truly aware of the promise and of the obligation of the catholic party
3° both parties are to be instructed about the purposes and essential properties of marriage, which are not to be excluded by either contractant.
Can. 1126 It is for the Episcopal Conference to prescribe the manner in which these declarations and promises, which are always required, are to be made, and to determine how they are to be established in the external forum, and how the non-catholic party is to be informed of them.
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I hate to say this, but I think this is a bad road to travel. I would turn and run as fast as I could. I was Mormon for 57 years. They are not Christian. They teach that the Catholic church is an abomination and that our ministers are minions of Satan. Don’t believe it? Just look up or Google Joseph Smith History 1:19.

Feel free to message me if you have questions.
 
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While those who share a common Christian Faith can, with love and commitment and generosity, navigate a mixed marriage, it is very difficult for a Christian to marry a non-Christian.

While the Mormons I have known are the nicest people, their faith is not Christian, it is a polytheistic religion.

According to her own faith, unless you become a good Mormon, she will be reduced to a much lower status in heaven (Mormon men eventually become gods with their own ‘world’ and their earthly wife is their wife on that world.) Out of respect to her beliefs, it is best to let her go find a Mormon husband.

A bird and a fish may love each other, but, where can they make a home?
 
Are there any Priests on here that have any say on the matter?
 
The priest at your own parish is the best one to consult for guidance in your particular situation.
 
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I’m going to go with…it’s possible to make a marriage like this work but the word work is the key.

You need to have a talk with yourself first. Are you ok with any children being raised Mormon? Are you ok with her never going to Mass?

She needs to ask herself these questions, too. How would she take to children being raised Catholic?

IF. the answers are compatible then permanent boundaries need establishing…no forcing each other into the others faith, sticking to the decisions about the children’s faith, etc.

My gut feeling is either you two will have areas that you can not compromise on or one or both will change their minds over time. You decide how much you want to deal with this lifetime decision and the amount of work you are able and willing to invest. Good luck!
 
I know thus they NEED to discuss this sooner rather than later. Despite canon law, I’m betting there have been Catholics that have given in on this anyway so each mixed couple needs to know what line they will not cross.

Do Mormons have a mandate about raising children in the Mormon faith or are they more permissive? I’m sure they’d want to have them raised Mormon but do they require it like Catholics?
 
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This isn’t just a matter of a believer and a non-believer or someone with no religion (which is difficult enough) but someone who strongly holds religious beliefs in contradiction.

I’m also concerned that the person did not specifically say they were Mormon sooner than she did when she is thoroughly Mormon and does not see it as a mere variant of Christianity (as Christians in any denomination might do). I think that is an issue with avoiding clear communication when it might prove an obstacle to acceptance. That is common, but it is not good.

She is hard-and-fast Mormon. If you don’t want to become hard-and-fast Mormon, let her free to find someone who is. This isn’t just about your finding someone suitable but also about her. You’re in a position to each go his and her own way and find the person who is really right for you. Do that.
 
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PetraG laid it out simply. I cannot add more unless to reiterate what OP states that both wish to retain own Faith. Barring change, set up is lifelong conflict on that point.
 
Pattylt said:
Do Mormons have a mandate about raising children in the Mormon faith or are they more permissive?
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No mandate, per se. Mormons believe that for a person to be saved in the highest kingdom of God, he/she must receive all of the saving ordinances of the gospel, which include baptism, the gift of the Holy Ghost, the priesthood (for males), the temple ordinances which include washings and anointings, the endowment, and sealing to a spouse. That is the minimum. Without these ordinances, a person can not enjoy the blessings of Eternal life and exaltation.

So, if her children are not raised in the Mormon faith, they are potentially sacrificing their eternal lives.
 
I agree. Personally, I’d end the relationship as it will only lead to misery or a faith crisis for either or both of them. It’s not my call to make, however. It must be each of their decisions and I certainly hope he discusses and listens to his Priest!
 
So they use coercion and subtle threat rather than mandates. How nice!
 
No. Absolutely not. I’m a former Mormon and I can tell you this is a bad idea unless she is questioning her own faith and open to being Catholic. This isn’t the same as a Catholic dating an Orthodox, Anglican, Lutheran or some other mainline Protestant group, where even that makes things difficult.
Mormons are not compatible with Catholicism in any way. They may have good values socially but any Christian in regards with their teachings should. This is really right next to if you asked me if you could date a Jehovah’s Witness and it work out.
Mormons are trained to deceive. She would expect your children to be Mormon. Also even stepping into her “church” is a sin. We aren’t supposed to attend non Catholic worship unless there is a really adequate reason for it, like a marriage or a funeral and even then you are only to be physically there but not openly engaging in their practice. In doing so you are acknowledging it is legitimate when it is not. And parents letting their kids go to friends services is exactly what in my mind has led to this relativism about religion.
Mormonism is something to run away from. I honestly can tell you unless your faith is strong you would end up getting sucked into that nonsense with their testimonies riddled with ridiculousness. There’s plenty of Catholic girls. She may be a nice girl but for the sake of your own soul stay away from that.
 
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Can you ask her to merely study (not to convert, just study) Catholic beliefs from a Catholic perspective, so she at least truly understands what the church teaches, and not what it’s reported to teach from non-Catholic sources? Even without converting, it would be good for her to see what is good in the church and truly respect it. It may not be the real Catholic Church she is rejecting, but the warped image of it that she has been taught.

Of course, she may want you to do the same with her Mormon beliefs…
 
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