I'm losing my faith

[HelpingHands]

Hi Egg,
One time a few years ago I because totally exasperated and at odds with my parish and priest. I went to a protestant church for 4 months. It was an outwardly warm and welcoming place, with a vague theology centered on winning souls for Christ. They had a communion of grape juice and wonderbread. It was a limited experience. Then I had a series of some undeniable experiences that drove me back to the Catholic church that were on a mystical level.
Sincerely, HH

 

[Pug]

HelpingHands:

I see people outside of it who are good and kind. The people in my church are not particularly helpful and are always either angry at the priest, or currying favor with him. It’s very confusing and I just don’t know where to turn.

I’m so sorry, HelpingHands! :crying: If a private listening ear will help, pm me, and I’ll listen.

God will guide you, of that I am sure. He is where to turn, but I bet that doesn’t really seem to help if I say that. I don’t want to say something stupid, and make you feel worse. Egg is right that when we listen online, sometimes we miss something or else pick the wrong point to focus on, and I don’t want to do that here.

Like a deer longs for a running stream, so my soul longs for you, My God. Why are you so cast down, oh my soul? and why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my help. paraphrase from psalm 42

Sometimes, when I’m so distressed in the middle of the night that I can’t sleep, I get up and read the psalms and try to tell God how unhappy I am. I have found comfort in those hours.

 

[Tonks40]

HelpingHands:

Hi Egg,
One time a few years ago I because totally exasperated and at odds with my parish and priest. I went to a protestant church for 4 months. It was an outwardly warm and welcoming place, with a vague theology centered on winning souls for Christ. They had a communion of grape juice and wonderbread. It was a limited experience. Then I had a series of some undeniable experiences that drove me back to the Catholic church that were on a mystical level.
Sincerely, HH

Hi HelpingHands:
Thank you first of all of the work you do. You can’t thank a nurse enough for their work and their care.

If your faith is waning, and getting frustrating to you, focus on the experiences you had that brought you back to the Church. This could serve as an undeniable witness to the love and mercy that God gives us, an can serve as a reminder as to why you came back.

God bless you!
Tonks40

 

[HelpingHands]

Thanks for your replies. I’m not sure if there’s hope for me… I’m wondering if a veil is being lifted from my eyes which was deceiving me…Sometimes I’m slow to respond to my doubts until I allow myself to be abused by others, probably because of things from the past, or my personality. Then an event comes along to make me lose faith utterly in a person, place or thing which breaks my back.

 

[Karen10]

**Part one of two:

**I really hope that I can help.

Someone already said, the teachings have been studied and found to be without fault. Trust me, your answers are out there. Don’t rely wholly on yourself to figure everything out–this is why we have a Church, and it’s a mission of apologists and theologians and clergy over the centuries to make these things clear. It is helpful to read what we call “apologetics”. Seek out apologetics websites–search catholic.com for issues you are struggling with. Jimmyakin.org is another apologetics site that can clear up seeming-inconsistencies. Where there seem to be loopholes and inconsistencies, trust me–it’s because one hasn’t found the answers yet, or hasn’t really researched enough. This particular problem of yours is a symptom of needing more knowledge to support your faith, and your situation is not unique.

HelpingHands:

1. Is there any difference in Catholics? Where’s the santifying grace?

That’s a very good question. But give serious Catholics a fair shake here–and seek them out, because it sounds like their company can be very helpful to you right now. Start by talking to a kindly priest. Pour your heart out to him and cry if you want to. Seriously! You won’t say anything they haven’t heard before, and they’re trained for this. It’s a wonderful opportunity for them to help, that they don’t have as often as they might like. You seem serious enough that when you uncover enough, you’ll realize how unhappy you are. I sympathize and empathize with that, having been there myself.

There are other people who go to Mass, just to be seen. There are people who receive the Eucharist in the state of mortal sin–look how few people go to confession, vs. how many are receiving the Eucharist. Now, this is by no means doctrine, but in St. Faustina’s book, Jesus tells her that he withholds graces from people who hoard them for themselves. You never know, but these people may not be receiving the graces they could, if they used confession and truly appreciated the Eucharist, and actively used these graces given to them, instead of profaning the sacrament and living away from Church no better than unbelievers.

HelpingHands:

1. Where is God anyways? It doen’t make any sense for God to abandon us here on this miserable planet like this.

He is most visibly with us in the Eucharist and actually allows us to physically unite with Him in that way. The Church is here so that we are not abandoned and left to our own devices, when we are in moral peril or in need of special graces. He is also with you at all times, waiting for your prayers.

HelpingHands:

1. Why hasn’t the fact that Jesus came changed the world one iota? It seems like all this talk of Christ returning is just delay tactics.

Oh, but it has. Jesus has revealed MUCH more about God than was previously known. It’s up to people to learn, be open to, and implement what He taught. Compare what is learned about God in the Old Testament, with what is learned in the New Testament, and in Church traditions. There is a big difference there.

HelpingHands:

1. What’s the point in this all? Whole thing doesn’t make sense

Love, to serve God in a way pleasing to Him, and our destiny to be with God in Heaven for eternity, in perpetual happiness.

HelpingHands:

6)Suffering comes to the innocent while the haughty feast. So then people say that it’ll all be made right by Christ in the end.

It is what Jesus promised–that He will come back.

Suffering is actually an opportunity, too–an opportunity to trust in God and grow. Saints and other faithful consider it a gift. Why? Suffering unites us to Christ’s passion. It is through this shared experience with Christ that we come to understand His passion on a deeper level–talk about a way to increase closeness! It’s one of the best opportunities to do penance, besides good works and sincere prayer.

God never gives a person more than they can handle, and He is right there to give help for the asking. Look also, for the lessons in suffering. It brings you back to what is truly important, which is not worldly things.

Sometimes we are also sent “trials”: St. Faustina suffered and at times did not feel God’s presence, but still acknowledged that He’s there, and went through the motions out of the virtue of obedience to her confessor and superior. At her most desperate moment, she then professed her faith to God in prayer no matter what she suffered. Obedience turned out to be the virtue/tool that saved her in this seemingly empty time–something we can use, too–and led to the receiving of graces that healed her.

(continued)…

 

[Karen10]

Part 2 of 2…

HelpingHands:

7)The Catholic Church has been a poor witness to the world on many occasions. Look at history. Any one who is honest will admit that Christ’s church on earth has fallen very short.

It’s easy to dwell on the things that went wrong, or to have misconceptions over things that happened. I encourage you to start another thread to address each of your problems here, or research them on catholic.com and listen to some Catholic Answers show archives on those topics.

Do not overlook the good things that the Church does. All of the prayers, charity work, the positive influences in politics (badly needed today), the teachings that save our very souls, the dedicated orders who spend their entire lives giving up everything and praying for people like us.

HelpingHands:

So, now I wonder if I’m wasting my time. My church seems lost and confused, with constant animosity and no fruit. I don’t even want to pray any more. Does anyone else feel this way?

I don’t know how much my “fruit” is worth here trying to help you, but I feel the opposite of animosity towards you. You are a part of my beloved Church, and we need you. I need you. Looking back at my own dry spells, I am so sorry that I must have been one of those people who could have profaned my beautiful faith, to people like you. I can never take that back and I’ll be doing penance for the rest of my life and beyond, trying to put that right, and help as many as I can.

I don’t know if now is the time to bring this up, but would you even consider a green scapular? A simple blessing by a priest, and there you go. Mine had been relegated to a jewelry box downstairs. I was living a life of hedonism, but all the while, my conscience NEVER left me alone. It could have been any other divine intervention or simply what God has written into my conscience, but the scapular could have been at work, too. I continued to live hedonisticly but found myself researching Catholic apologetics and getting hooked. I became interested, once and for all, in Catholicism, and whether it had the answers to my doubts and problems. Little by little, my obstinacy was softened as I found the information I needed, to know that it was the Truth.

One Truth is that I couldn’t possibly deal with life on my own. What an invaluable lesson to re-learn–to ask God for help! I had NEVER been doing that. I relented. My husband and I talked about returning to Mass. It took some months before we actually started doing it. My first time back into a Church, my eyes watered and I was stifling the tears–I could have bawled my eyes out.

We also went to World Youth Day where I saw a magnificent representation of our universal Church, with our pope at the head–tears all over again. Our church is truly a glorious gift–and that includes every single one of you, including you, HelpingHands. Some of the answers you need, will require research–they won’t magically get poured into your head. If that happened to everybody, think of how hard it would be to weed out the fakes telling us, “God told me…” So, read as much as you can, and seek out people who properly witness the faith. If you only tend to hang out with bad examples, then that’s hard to compete with, so there’ll have to be some effort on your part there.

We really need you to not give up, okay?

 

[Courtneyjo]

HH, you sound angry, burned out, and depressed. This is a recipe for losing one faith. You are a parent, a nurse under under stress, and yet find little support in your parish. The priest and parishoners have let you down.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could all get along and show the love of Jesus? But even Christ’s apostles had disagreements, and even they abandoned Him. Think of the Garden of Gethsemane and the Passion.

If it’s not possible to find another parish, could you find a priest-chaplain who will hear your Confession at a local hospital or nursing home? If not, can you make an appointment with your priest for a private Confession? Remember that your parish priest can be transferred, and parishoners come and go, but Jesus in the tabernacle and in the Eucharist is the same forever.

Perhaps you can find it in your heart to regularly pray for those who’ve wronged you. Forgiveness is a process; sometimes we have to do it again and again and again.

Bless you for your healing ministry and your parenting. Bless you for sharing your doubts here. Jesus can heal your broken heart. Please trust Him with it.

 

[Karen10]

Dear Happy Hands,

I’m glad that you keep posting back; it helps to learn more about your problem. I see much “wanting to believe” in your posts, and I think you will beat this.

It seems, from how you write, that your problems might boil down to two things: 1.) a need to increase knowledge and 2.) an un-met need to be among better examples of the faith.

As for #1, I already mentioned apologetics and research. I know you’re busy, but you know how they say, “If you want to do something, you’ll make time for it”? I think if I were in your position, I’d put my foot down and enforce a strict bedtime for your kids, or other time, that frees you up to do some praying and reading. Everyone needs this time. You must have quiet somewhere, in order to hear God. Use this time to study the catechism, look up apologetics, and to open your ears in prayer to what God tells you. This quiet time is a must. The forums here, as nice as they are, are as full of personal opinions as they are full of actual truths. They can be a help, but they really only go so far, compared with reading works straight from theologians, apologists, and the Church.

As for #2: Pray for your parish and the troublemakers in it. The absolute best way to combat evil is to refuse to let it beat you down, and to counter it with good. Satan must be loving what these people are doing to you. You must be a real threat to him if you are being tempted this relentlessly.

If possible, be the example for THEM. To their credit, though–be aware, that “fraternal correction” is asked of us. If someone wants to spread heresy, they need to be corrected. In some cases, this can cause arguments, although it isn’t supposed to. Pray for those who get nasty. If you’re not going to pray for this parish, who of *them *will?

Can you identify others in your parish with the same complaints that you have? Band together with them–in numbers you can help to turn things around. If you see outright bad handling of things–especially by a priest–do not hesitate to inform the bishop. Tell him what happened to your soul as a result of what goes on.

If this seems impossible, do find another parish. If it’s far away, enjoy the drive, make it a special occasion to stop somewhere and eat… “Far away” doesn’t have to be such a negative.

Other ideas I had while pondering your situation, and searching my own history:

Our Church has given us many boosters for times like this. There are sacramentals–have you tried any? I mentioned the green scapular, particularly helpful in conversion (or, reversion). There are miraculous medals, the medal of St. Benedict, etc. Do not feel so guilty about your trial that you feel uneasy about accepting this help. They seem to be there especially for times like these.

Do go to confession–in another parish, preferably. Get in a good confession that makes you feel better, even if it’s only to pour out your heart and receive counsel. The grace will help your recovery, especially if you might not be in the state of grace as a result of all of this scandal. (I wouldn’t know; I’m not judging. But even venial sins can be confessed and you can still receive counsel and grace.)

Visit a shrine. Take some time off during a work-free day, and find a shrine close to you. Little pilgrimages like this come with many graces.

Try a religious retreat. Instead of taking time off for the usual vacation activities, take time off to do things that nurture your soul. You need this more now, than taking kids to see relatives or going to an amusement park with them. It’s okay to give yourself this gift.

Try the rosary–with it come many graces and perspectives that I’ll go so far as to call “revelations”. Recently I was having a jittery, cranky day. I ran into my room and closed the door, in order to get my rosary done for the day. As soon as I got into it, it felt like that was EXACTLY what I needed to readjust my perspective.

Never forget to pray for help.

Never forget that Mary is your personal mother and advocate–she can polish your prayers and present them to the Lord in a way he cannot refuse.

Never forget to offer your sufferings and works up to God. They have much more of a punch when you unite what you’re going through, with God, his passion, and his command to act charitably. Doing so also keeps you in a state of interior prayer. It’s also a form of penance. Offer even the tiniest things you do. Your works will feel so much better when you’re performing them in this way, instead of making you irritable. It sounds like this is a kind of release that would benefit you.

I’ll help you out and will also pray for your parish. Again, we need you to not give up. And again, I’m so sorry that I was one of those lapsed Catholics who contributes to your doubts, and the doubts of others like you. I need to apologize to you and everyone; please accept it and be somewhat healed through my apology.

Love, Karen

 

[Karen10]

P.S. Please don’t anybody think I’m crazy, but I did a Divine Mercy chaplet in the third hour for this parish in question, and Helping Hands, and… Well the Third Hour of the day is supposed to be the time to pray, where Jesus tells St. Faustina that he can’t refuse anything prayed for that is in accordance with His will, or something along those lines. It’s the hour He died on the cross.

Before I started, there was a butterfly in my bedroom. (The second time a butterfly got in here in the last week, actually). I was pretty amused and considered it a possible “signal grace”, but you know how you should be careful about that stuff…

I did the chaplet. Then I looked around for the butterfly so I could let it back outside. It wasn’t in the bedroom, so I looked around upstairs some more. I found it in the guest bedroom, where we have a large crucifix over that bed.

The butterfly fluttered around the crucifix and landed, nestling at Jesus’s feet.

I’m not used to these kinds of things happening. I mean, I’ve had things happen but they were a very long time ago, and it was just a couple of things, powerful as they were. So I think… that’s all I can let myself say about that. A lot is going on in my head right now that I can’t put into words. I wasn’t even sure whether I should post this because of the risk of someone thinking I’m lying.

 

[HelpingHands]

Karen10:

P.S. Please don’t anybody think I’m crazy, but I did a Divine Mercy chaplet in the third hour for this parish in question, and Helping Hands, and… Well the Third Hour of the day is supposed to be the time to pray, where Jesus tells St. Faustina that he can’t refuse anything prayed for that is in accordance with His will, or something along those lines. It’s the hour He died on the cross.

Before I started, there was a butterfly in my bedroom. (The second time a butterfly got in here in the last week, actually). I was pretty amused and considered it a possible “signal grace”, but you know how you should be careful about that stuff…

I did the chaplet. Then I looked around for the butterfly so I could let it back outside. It wasn’t in the bedroom, so I looked around upstairs some more. I found it in the guest bedroom, where we have a large crucifix over that bed.

The butterfly fluttered around the crucifix and landed, nestling at Jesus’s feet.

I’m not used to these kinds of things happening. I mean, I’ve had things happen but they were a very long time ago, and it was just a couple of things, powerful as they were. So I think… that’s all I can let myself say about that. A lot is going on in my head right now that I can’t put into words. I wasn’t even sure whether I should post this because of the risk of someone thinking I’m lying.

Dear Karen,
Thanks for the prayers! That is a beautiful thing that happened with the butterfly. It might be a real sign, I agree.

 

[shannin]

I’ve had a few times in my life when I’ve questioned the Church and some of the teachings. Each time I’ve come out a much stronger person in my Catholic faith. I will pray for you.

Shannin

 

[b_justb]

Hi if you want 2 pence, I say what my wife always says: Keep praying.

It doesn’t matter if it’s hard, or seems meaningless. The idea that we have a personal relationship with Christ is right on. In any relationship there will be good times and bad. And if one has a relationship, a real relationship, then it’s just A-OK to be mad or hurt some times. God can take it if you need to yell at Him.

 

[Cece]

Helping hands:
You are being spiritually attacked right now. You are, perhaps, in a low frame of mind, and the devil is taking advantage of your state. I too am a nurse, and it is a physically, emotionally and spiritually draining profession.
Do not give into this temptation to move away from God, because that is exactly what the enemy of your soul is aiming
for. Unfortunately, you cannot get spiritual consolation from your
parish, so seek it elsewhere, even if it may be inconvenient for you. Find an Opus Dei retreat house, or other decent, retreat house and attend one. Make sure it is orthodox and true,
because you are vulnerable right now. It is imperative that you find
a good priest to take these concerns to. Write to the Fathers of Mercy in Lexington, KY. You need spritual direction and consolation. I will pray that you find it quickly. Try the chaplain
at your hospital, if you trust him, that is. The devil has all kinds of
obstacles set up in your path, so be discerning.
What you need is Christian community. Seek out Opus Dei,
Regnum Christi, or, perhaps even a charismatic community. You
need the direction and companionship- and it will keep you from being so vulnerable to these attacks.
I pray you get through this. I myself have been through it more
than once. Put your faith in Jesus; you can’t go wrong with Him.
God Bless and keep you.

 

[springbreeze]

Dear Helping Hands

No Christian is free of trial and as we are all sinners are we all not trials to each other? This being the case then, it is the loving bearing of each other, for love of God, that in forgiveness of each other hatred and discord is banished and evil is defeated in the Sweet Lord Jesus, defeated in Love.

It is easy to let trial steal faith, when infact it is in trial that faith is most greatly exercised and in this faith, that the true Christian banner is lifted high, the Cross. Those who face trial in faith lift high the Cross. No cross, no crown. How blessed we are then to have the gift of the cross.

Satan doesn’t want you to have faith and when he sees you do have the gift of faith by God’s grace, he will attack it.

Persevere friend. You are in my prayers that you may endure, we should all pray that we may all endure because endurance in faith is the greatest gift we are given; then we may say with St Paul:

'I have competed well; I have finished the race; I have kept the faith. From now on the crown of righteousness awaits me, which the Lord, the just judge, will award to me on that day, and not only to me, but to all who have longed for his appearance. ’
God Bless you and much love and peace to you

Teresa

 

[HelpingHands]

Hey everyone,
I really appreciate the support. I went and prayed the Rosary today for the first time in weeks. I decided not to go by the days of the week and just pray the one I felt moved to pray, which was the glorious ones.

Sometimes I get too bound in by everything in the Church being so structured. Like praying a certain mystery of the Rosary on a certain day. It doesn’t fit me. For instance, I was praying the Divine Office for a year or so, but the whole experience became too rote and lost it’s meaning. I felt like I had to do the whole thing, and I started to drone the whole thing mindlessly. And, I really like vespers the best, but felt like I had to do the whole thing. Plus, I have an erratic personality that doesn’t like every day to be the same routine.

From now on I’m not going by the day of the week with the Rosary mysteries. I’m tired of being penned in like that, with no leeway for myself and what I need.

 

[Catolico]

HelpingHands:

Hey everyone,
I really appreciate the support. I went and prayed the Rosary today for the first time in weeks. I decided not to go by the days of the week and just pray the one I felt moved to pray, which was the glorious ones.

Sometimes I get too bound in by everything in the Church being so structured. Like praying a certain mystery of the Rosary on a certain day. It doesn’t fit me. For instance, I was praying the Divine Office for a year or so, but the whole experience became too rote and lost it’s meaning. I felt like I had to do the whole thing, and I started to drone the whole thing mindlessly. And, I really like vespers the best, but felt like I had to do the whole thing. Plus, I have an erratic personality that doesn’t like every day to be the same routine.

From now on I’m not going by the day of the week with the Rosary mysteries. I’m tired of being penned in like that, with no leeway for myself and what I need.

I think I read once on this forum that John Paul II used to do this sometimes. For example he would pray a Rosary dedicated to young people and he would pray let,s say 1. The Annunciation, 2, The Nativity, 3. The Baptism of Jesus, 4. The Institution of the Eucharist, 5. Descent of Holy Spirit.

Since I started praying the Rosary in a similar way it has helped me a lot.
Helping Hands I´m sorry you are having such a struggle with your faith right now, but I think starting to pray the Rosary every day will help you. I will pray for you too

 

[ATeNumquam]

HelpingHands:

. Then I had a series of some undeniable experiences that drove me back to the Catholic church that were on a mystical level.
Sincerely, HH

I suspect God gave you those special experiences (which by no means everyone receives, but which are unforgettable, even by you in these low times!) just like a treasure or a keepsake you can draw some joy or hope from when all else is bleak.

Any one of several things you have mentioned would be enough to make you feel as you do - burnout (you may not have called it that, but it sure sounds like it), the lack of a supportive parish/priestly experience, the stresses of the type of job you have, being a single mother. Sheesh! All that together, and no wonder you feel so bad.

It may not seem like it to you, but I reckon one day you’ll look back on this period of your life as a time of “pruning” that has borne fruit you can’t see or imagine yet. God loves you and has given you special graces, and now He’s trying you in the fire of His love. Really, it doesn’t make any difference whether or not you feel His presence or can make any sense of what’s happening, because He doesn’t operate according to our human expectations and experience.

Just hang in there, try to think each day of something to feel thankful for (however small) - this does help to keep your hope alive, I’ve found.
Pray as best you can - He knows how very hard your life is right now.

 

[HelpingHands]

Hi again,
Thanks for your posts. It really is helpful. I’m glad to get the encouragement. Most of these posts have been very positive and compassionate. Keep praying, maybe things will eventually clear up. Unfortunately going to another parish on a regular basis isn’t practical though, since the closest is 40 minutes away, and the next closest is over an hour away. Hopefully, my priest will start some daily Masses again. He only does them on Wed, Thurs, Fri, and often cancels them if he wants to go out of town. He announced a couple weeks ago that every fourth week he won’t be having them. I think I basically have to go it on my own.

 

[springbreeze]

HelpingHands:

Hi again,
Thanks for your posts. It really is helpful. I’m glad to get the encouragement. Most of these posts have been very positive and compassionate. Keep praying, maybe things will eventually clear up. Unfortunately going to another parish on a regular basis isn’t practical though, since the closest is 40 minutes away, and the next closest is over an hour away. Hopefully, my priest will start some daily Masses again. He only does them on Wed, Thurs, Fri, and often cancels them if he wants to go out of town. He announced a couple weeks ago that every fourth week he won’t be having them. I think I basically have to go it on my own.

Dear friend

Unfortunately this is what is happening with the lack of people answering Vocations in these times and our Priests are under great stress, strain and pressure. Now we are realising how much we have taken our priests for granted and that without them we do not have the Eucharist!

You may like to consider offering all of your sufferings to our Lord Jesus for Priests and for Vocations to the Priesthood. Jesus will not overlook such an offer as that.

Meanwhile ask the Lord to sustain you from the time you receive the Eucharist until the next time you are able to receive again, He will not let you down and may I also suggest that if you cannot attend daily Mass that you say the words of the Mass yourself at home and ask the Lord to make Spiritual Communion with you.

Some Parishes are coping well with this shortage of Priests and are offering lifts to each other, to attend the nearest Parish celebrating Mass, so that Daily Communicants can continue attendance at Daily Mass. You might like to find out if anything like this is happening near to you or you may consider starting such an undertaking yourself.

You NEVER go it alone, Christ Jesus is always with you, always.

You remain in my prayers

God Bless you and much love and peace to you

Teresa

 

[springbreeze]

Dear friend

You must not fight the Cross, you must always accept the Cross, it is the Narrow Road, it is the footpath to heaven trodden by God, Christ Jesus before us and so although He was alone in His Cross, we are never alone in ours, He helps us carry it. That is so kindly of the Lord that wretched creatures like ourselves deserving of no comfort or help whatsoever are aided by so gentle a Lord who waits so gently and silently in the Blessed Sacrament and stoops down to shoulder our cross with us. Surely such sinful souls as ourselves deserve a much more severe cross than any of us ever carry considering our Sweet Lord Jesus bore such a heavy penalty for our sins taking everything upon Himself.

Valiantly and courageously embrace your cross with love and carry it as you would the most sacred of items, as surely it is the most sacred thing your mortal frame will ever embrace and endow to itself, throw yourself to the cross as a dear friend, it is the sure sign of discipleship, it is the only thing that speaks of faith, it is this poor and meagre cross we bear that reaps eternal reward, oh happy exchange, for all that is passing moment by moment is forever engrained in eternity.

Then do not complain or moan or speak of unfairness or injustice as this is only the voice of pride. Do not complain because the Lord Jesus bore much more than this without opening His gentle mouth. Therefore summon up the courage the Holy Spirit has gifted to you and do not complain of anything, but embrace every cross as a blessed gift from the Lord, that will crown you with salvation because no-one came to salvation by consolation, they only came to salvation by trial.

It is only Love that can embrace the cross forgetting it’s-self.

God Bless you and much love and peace to you

Teresa