I'm really starting to question my faith

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Convert_in_99

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There are just too many bad things going on in my life, the lives of my family, our world. Ok I’ve committed a list of sins a mile long, I get it why I’m being beat up on. But take my nephew (15) is severely autistic. He is baptized and has no personal sin on his soul whatsoever, and he’s so sick he’s going to have to spend the rest of his life in an institution. Virtually a prison. With no hope of ever getting out. Why? Why in the hell does God just sit back and let these things happen. It’s ridiculous! Insane! I just can’t take it anymore. No person in their right might would let this happen to their children (especially the innocent!) if they could prevent it. Why does He? Why? I just have no patience with this anymore. I’m just done with it all. I have no strength to keep fighting this battle of faith. What good will it do anyway. Most of us won’t make it anyways. 🤷
 
Please reach out to your at-home support network. Counselor, doctors, priests, and parish.

I prayed at Mass for you today. :hug1:
 
Convert_in_99 said:
There are just too many bad things going on in my life, the lives of my family, our world. Ok I’ve committed a list of sins a mile long, I get it why I’m being beat up on. But take my nephew (15) is severely autistic. He is baptized and has no personal sin on his soul whatsoever, and he’s so sick he’s going to have to spend the rest of his life in an institution. Virtually a prison. With no hope of ever getting out. Why? Why in the hell does God just sit back and let these things happen. It’s ridiculous! Insane! I just can’t take it anymore. No person in their right might would let this happen to their children (especially the innocent!) if they could prevent it. Why does He? Why? I just have no patience with this anymore. I’m just done with it all. I have no strength to keep fighting this battle of faith. What good will it do anyway. Most of us won’t make it anyways. 🤷
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Not to be too blunt or anything but… you’re not the only person who experiences bad things. People in the middle east experience real hardship and suffering everyday and you complain about this? You are blessed to have the life that you have. He is blessed to have the life he has.

Do you really think Christianity hasn’t noticed the problem of evil? The problem of evil is at the center of our theology! It’s called sin and death! These things bring hardship and suffering and doubt and death into the world. That’s why we also have Jesus. Jesus Christ died for us! He sat up there on a cross for hours experience some of the worst pain any human can ever experience ever! He was innocent. He never did any wrong. The founder of our very faith experienced the worst of the worst all for nothing. Yet it was also for something. Something big. Something that would change the world! That would be the grace and love of God which would be poured out onto our souls for the forgiveness of sins.

Do we have an explanation for everything God does or doesn’t do? No. But God does love us. God sees the problem of evil in the world. So he humbled himself for us. He took on the worst of the worst. Jesus is the solution to evil. And though this may seem like a silly and foolish thing, remember what Paul said, *“But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.” - 1 Corinthians 1:27
*
 
Homily that I liked about this topic. In the beginning you’re wondering what he’s talking about and why, but after a few minutes you realize what he’s getting at:

youtube.com/watch?v=JuwvK-Yzt6Q

Another:

youtube.com/watch?v=IUDsYqLdS4k

Something else to think about: denying God’s existence doesn’t solve the problem of suffering/evil, it only removes the only possible solution.
 
I think The Philosopher hit the nail on the head. Don’t give into your doubts or fall into despair. I will pray for you tonight, OP.
 
God doesn’t sit back and do nothing. He did a great thing for your nephew, He made you.
Your love and passion for him is a beautiful thing as is the mercy shown by those who will care for him.
And through your nephews sacrifice other souls will be saved.
God is in His right mind and look what He allowed to happen to His Son, for our sake.
(and He was also innocent).
If your nephew had the choice to be like Christ and save other souls, what would he do?
Your nephew will never suffer in Hell and will not suffer in Purgatory.
You and I most probably will suffer in purgatory and we will then envy your nephew
and understand Gods wisdom.

Your nephew is just one of many unrecognised heroes.
I for one will always thank God that He knows, loves and rewards them.
Try not to be impatient with understanding Gods ways.
He is doing what is best for all of us, regardless of our level of understanding.
Pray, hope and DON’T worry, you will understand it all one day.

I pray you find peace and calm in your heart.
:tiphat:
 
pensmama87 said:
Please reach out to your at-home support network. Counselor, doctors, priests, and parish.

I prayed at Mass for you today. :hug1:
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I think this is good advice. Please do reach out to those near you and I add my prayers to the others praying for you on this forum.

Mary.
 
I don’t have anything much to add to what the other posters have said, except this:

God does not permit evil, except to draw a greater good from it.

The trouble is, his time frame is different from ours.

When Naomi in the book of Ruth lost her husband and both her sons to disease, how could she have known that this was an inevitable link in a chain of events that would lead up to David, and ultimately to Christ? We have no way of knowing that, because our foreknowledge is very limited and very imperfect.

Don’t give up. I’m praying for you and your nephew. :)👍
 
Convert_in_99 said:
There are just too many bad things going on in my life, the lives of my family, our world. Ok I’ve committed a list of sins a mile long, I get it why I’m being beat up on. But take my nephew (15) is severely autistic. He is baptized and has no personal sin on his soul whatsoever, and he’s so sick he’s going to have to spend the rest of his life in an institution. Virtually a prison. With no hope of ever getting out. Why? Why in the hell does God just sit back and let these things happen. It’s ridiculous! Insane! I just can’t take it anymore. No person in their right might would let this happen to their children (especially the innocent!) if they could prevent it. Why does He? Why? I just have no patience with this anymore. I’m just done with it all. I have no strength to keep fighting this battle of faith. What good will it do anyway. Most of us won’t make it anyways. 🤷
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So what’s the alternative? To not have faith? How does that make things better?
 
Your question assumes that God is an “active” God who constantly interferes–for better or worse–in the affairs of people and the universe in general. “Religious” people like to believe in an “active” God for reasons I have never understood, but it’s certainly not an article of faith. And the more you think about an “active” God the more problems you find. Does God need to tinker with the universe because He didn’t get it quite right the first time? Is God some sort of being that arbitrarily gives some people cancer but not others for mysterious reasons only He knows? Is God somehow responding to prayers? (But if God is omniscient, wouldn’t God know before the universe was created that you were going to say those prayers? Why wait until you actually said them? Why not build in any adjustments to the universe before creation began?)

The idea that God always draws good from evil is just nonsense. People believe it, but some people believe in fairies or aliens, too. Believing that nonsense doesn’t make you more religious, it just makes you more superstitious. (All you superstitious people out there who are foaming at the mouth feel free to tell me I’m an idiot–but please quote either the catechism or documents from Vatican II to back up your case. But don’t spend too long looking for them, because they don’t exist.)

We’ve all seen the TV news where they interview Billy Bob after the tornado swept through some town in Oklahoma, and Billy Bob says, “It was God’s hand that saved me…another 50 feet to the left and I would have been a goner.” Never mind that because the tornado took the route that it did it killed Betsy next door. She doesn’t count, right? What nonsense.

Read Luke 13:4: “Or those eighteen who died when the tower in Siloam fell on them–do you think they were more guilty than all the others living in Jerusalem?” And of course the answer is “no.” The fact that the tower fell and killed 18 people had nothing to do with whether the people were good or bad. It had to do with the poor construction of the tower!

Why not believe in a God who created the universe and gave it a set of physical laws–including chaos theory and quantum physics–and then just watched it all unfold according to the laws of physics? Of course you could argue that God could have created a universe without disease and tonadoes, but I’d rather worry about that than a God who is constantly tinkering and interfering.
 
Well. I can really understand your pain in this. I can really get the loss of hope and frustration this leads you on. But think only of the other obvious here. Think about the idea that without your faith all of this suffering will still happen. It’ll still go on as scheduled. But the difference is it will no longer have a purpose. At all.

Where as right now? There’s redemptive suffering. There’s the idea that deep love first needs to understand deep pain. That God wants each of us to suffer not to punish us. But instead to be able to love us in a truer and stronger way.

I mean it’s like the child who’s always had everything. Compared to the one who’s had nothing.

Which of those kids has suffered more?

But then which of those kids is more likely to love you truly?

There’s a connection here, my friend. There’s a straight up link. And it goes opposite to everything we assume we know.

The love I feel for people now is far deeper than what I did before. When life was simple. When all I had to do was mind my own business. Because only sinners got bad luck. And only sinners deserved to fail.

Nah. Now I’ve got a better read on things. Now I understand that God’s not punishing the evildoers with pain here on earth. Instead he’s deepening everyone to their raw capacity. He’s pushing for the deepest wells possible.

Because only that way can He really even get close to connecting with us. It’s only that way that we can feel the real depth and true power of the love He’s got.

Because God’s love is heavy. It’s real. It’s not some kind of toy-buying-love. It’s raw, deep, and honest. So that kind of love needs real feeling. It needs full commitment. The kind we can only get through suffering. The kind we can only really feel best with the lifting of pain.

Pain and suffering carried out with love and joy.

Peace Convert. I hope you pull through this tough time. I know you’ve faced a lot of tough times. I hope you just count this as just one more.

And Congrats on your 7000 posts btw.

I’ll be praying for you.

Your friend,

-Trident
 
I thank you all for your replies. Especially the prayers!

I want to make it clear that I’m not doubting God’s existence.I believe with all my heart that he exists. I’m just having trouble seeing HIs goodness in all of this. I feel so lost and abandoned. Ignored maybe? I believe that Jesus also experienced this during His sufferings. “My God why have you abandoned me?” So I think that if Jesus himself felt this way at times, it’s only natural that us weak human beings would too. I just don’t know what to do about it. I feel that I don’t have the strength to continue. It’s a weakness on my part, I realize that. It’s just is what it is. Hard to explain. 🤷
 
The greatest blessing in all the world is the inability to commit mortal sin. This child will not be snatched out of God’s hand. The power of hell has zero effect upon this child! After a short stint on earth, such a child is guaranteed a place in God’s Kingdom! What? Would you rather that he be “normal” and potentially commit sin after sin only to end up as miserable as you are? How would that be better?

Your attitude is poisoned by personal sin. Now, God will not assign you more than you can bear, but He allows you to overburden yourself with sin - and it clearly shows. There is only one solution, and it involves humility, God’s grace and the Sacrament of Reconciliation.

As to suffering, pick up a copy of Prof. Peter Kreeft’s “Making Sense out of Suffering” The Christian faith is the only religion/philosophy/worldview/belief system on earth with a satisfactory explanation of sin and suffering, absolution and grace.

It helps if you know the redemptive value of suffering.
 
Even if your nephew will always need help (which it’s up to God to cause to be sent to him, so that you don’t think you are faced with an impossible burden) he can own his situation in his own way and adapt wholesomely in so far as others don’t destroy his spirit (morale).

If you carry on praying for him (sometimes maybe through the prayer subforum here) and get others to do so also, you can continue being an active participant in your own and others’ destiny.
 
po18guy said:
The greatest blessing in all the world is the inability to commit mortal sin. This child will not be snatched out of God’s hand. The power of hell has zero effect upon this child! After a short stint on earth, such a child is guaranteed a place in God’s Kingdom! What? Would you rather that he be “normal” and potentially commit sin after sin only to end up as miserable as you are? How would that be better?

Your attitude is poisoned by personal sin. Now, God will not assign you more than you can bear, but He allows you to overburden yourself with sin - and it clearly shows. There is only one solution, and it involves humility, God’s grace and the Sacrament of Reconciliation.

As to suffering, pick up a copy of Prof. Peter Kreeft’s “Making Sense out of Suffering” The Christian faith is the only religion/philosophy/worldview/belief system on earth with a satisfactory explanation of sin and suffering, absolution and grace.

It helps if you know the redemptive value of suffering.
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I realize I have sinned through and through.

Due to OCD and scrupulosity I don’t know for sure if I’m just still being punished for those serious sins of my past, or is God mad about something in the present? :confused: I have reviewed my conscience many many times. I think I have gotten the serious sins in confession, but maybe I received communion when I shouldn’t have? And that’s what is upsetting Him? Though I can’t know exactly which ones were sinful communions. I could make a general confession to “get it all in” but that is not recommended for scrupulous persons. I don’t want to doubt God’s mercy and forgiveness of past (and present) sins, but there must be something that I didn’t confess right or received communion without confession, even when doubting whether or not I should have received when things were foggy and uncertain.

I very much believe we are punished for sins. Both here and in the next life. And as cruddy as it is, and as much as it hurts, I try to realize I’m getting “my just due” and that God could have punished me even worse, but He didn’t.

I know my nephew is guaranteed salvation and even no purgatory. He’s baptized but not Catholic (though that’s no fault of his own.) It’s just excruciating to know he is suffering so, more than most people will ever suffer. And yet he is completely innocent. I also have severe mental health issues, but less than my nephew obviously. I’ve been in psych wards. I know how horrible they can be. They are very much like prisons. And this will be his life for decades upon decades to come? With no end ever! It’s just awful to think. :crying:

Punish me Lord, but not him. God could have made him well enough to stay home and still sick enough to not commit mortal sin, but God doesn’t. Why?
 
Hoosier_Daddy said:
So what’s the alternative? To not have faith? How does that make things better?
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True. Evil circumstances still remain regardless of whether you believe or not in God.

To the OP, is there a spiritual director/counselor that you can consult?
 
Convert_in_99 said:
I thank you all for your replies. Especially the prayers!

I want to make it clear that I’m not doubting God’s existence.I believe with all my heart that he exists. I’m just having trouble seeing HIs goodness in all of this. I feel so lost and abandoned. Ignored maybe? I believe that Jesus also experienced this during His sufferings. “My God why have you abandoned me?” So I think that if Jesus himself felt this way at times, it’s only natural that us weak human beings would too. I just don’t know what to do about it. I feel that I don’t have the strength to continue. It’s a weakness on my part, I realize that. It’s just is what it is. Hard to explain. 🤷
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My struggle is believing in the existence of a God and that life makes sense.

At my worst I am a nihilistic atheist who views life as pointless.

We all struggle. That is why there is something in the Bible about bearing one another’s burdens.
 
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