I'm tired of part-time Catholics in VISIBLE roles at the Mass

[Duesenberg]

I’m so very tired of part time Catholics in publicly VISIBLE roles at the Mass. One prime example would be readers at my parish. At least three couples make it very well known that they don’t attend Mass anywhere when they are not scheduled to read, and they don’t allow themselves to be scheduled unless they are both scheduled for the same Mass (first and second readings.) One of the couples (he is one of the local ABC news anchors) very publicly take part in a local Presbyterian parish as well.

It’s even worse when it comes to EMsHC and altar servers. The only visible liturgical ministry that isn’t infected by this sort of behavior is the music ministry – probably due to the fact we have an excellent director of music.

There’s also those in very visible liturgical ministries who make no secret (no speculation required) of the fact they are “shacked-up” with other members who are likewise involved in the parish.

I realize that today’s world of 2017 is far, far coarser than that of 1967, but this sort of public behavior speaks loudly about how little respect the celebration of the Mass is given in some places. Does this happen at your parish, or is mine the exception?

 

[Rau]

but this sort of public behavior speaks loudly about how little respect the celebration of the Mass is given in some places.

Doesn’t it say something about the parish priest?

 

[1neophyte]

Thank you for sharing this gossip with an international audience. I’m sure our Blessed Mother is so pleased.

 

[pianistclare]

It does say something about the priest and that he likely does not train the trainers of ministry…

I’m also very glad that the OP has FINALLY stated the root problem he is angry about.
Thank the Lord!

Now. How to help? We all know that when we take something to the pastor we run the risk of being accused of gossip or calumny.
What does CAF suggest he do, besides those who will say “too bad so sad”.

???

 

[Duesenberg]

Doesn’t it say something about the parish priest?

Yes, but this sort of public behavior certainly didn’t begin with his arrival.

What really bothers me is the arrogance is which they make their choices/situations known. This is not hush-hush, unsubstantiated gossip that I’m talking about. This is information right out of the mouths of the people themselves.

One secularly divorced EMHC met another secularly divorced individual at Sunday Mass. Of course she soon became an EMHC. Then they moved in together and they are VERY public about this. It’s disheartening.

 

[Rau]

Yes, but this sort of public behavior certainly didn’t begin with his arrival.

Then it says something about the prior priest(s) too, as well as the individuals themselves.

Btw, I don’t see a problem with a divorced person being in a ministry. It is more problematic if they are cohabitating or remarried despite a valid first marriage.

 

[Xanthippe_Voorhees]

Now. How to help? We all know that when we take something to the pastor we run the risk of being accused of gossip or calumny.
What does CAF suggest he do, besides those who will say “too bad so sad”.

???

The temptation to “too bad, so sad” is REAL Clare, it is.

However, it is very likely that a Priest, in his duties, may not know the extent of it. If it occurred before his arrival, he may have trusted that the situation was vetted.

There are only two things to do:

-Talk to the priest
-recruit regular Catholics from the Knights, from the Lifeteen groups, from the knitting circles and the parenting ministries to lector and EMHC positions.

Also note: There is NOTHING wrong with a “secularly” divorced individual being an EMHC so long as they are not in another relationship. Given the secret nature of annulments, it could very well be that they are reconciled with the church, but again this is up to the pastor to chat about.

If he fails to act, then go to the Bishop.

 

[Duesenberg]

Then it says something about the prior priest(s) too, as well as the individuals themselves.

Yes it does. But their behavior – while abhorrent when one takes a step back and considers it, is very common around these parts. It’s not something that involves shame, or discretion or anything like that. If anything their behavior is tacitly condoned if not celebrated.

 

[1ke]

Doesn’t it say something about the parish priest?

I wouldn’t assume that. In a large parish, a pastor may not know such details about everyone. And people who make such information “well known” usually somehow skip informing the pastor. People may assume he knows, but he doesn’t. My old parish had 7K families, 3 associate priests who regularly rotated through, and 5 deacons. Our pastor did not and could not know everyone’s business.

 

[Rau]

I wouldn’t assume that. In a large parish, a pastor may not know such details about everyone.

I can understand that. I’d be interested to understand from the OP whether the situation is a large parish, a remotely located priest, or something else.

 

[PaulfromIowa]

Those Presbyterian devils! What will they think of next? (Sorry, couldn’t resist.)

 

[1ke]

I can understand that. I’d be interested to understand from the OP whether the situation is a large parish, a remotely located priest, or something else.

I would say it’s the same in my current parish too. Although only 76 families, our pastor cares for 3 parishes, covers a lot of miles, and is from a foreign country. He’s a holy man, but he leaves the administration up to me and my husband for the most part, and a LOT goes over his head or he doesn’t understand fully what someone tells him. He’s been in the US 20 years but I think he still struggles with nuances and subtext. He is busy on sick calls, home bound, and celebrating mass in 3 parishes. He doesn’t have time for BS.

 

[Duesenberg]

However, it is very likely that a Priest, in his duties, may not know the extent of it. If it occurred before his arrival, he may have trusted that the situation was vetted.

He’s been pastor for 12 years. I’m sure he knows a considerable amount. I know he was at the “after move-in” party hosted by the two EMsHC I noted.

-Talk to the priest
-recruit regular Catholics from the Knights, from the Lifeteen groups, from the knitting circles and the parenting ministries to lector and EMHC positions.

I wouldn’t even consider getting involved – except for prayer of course. A fair number of individuals over the years – people far more influential than I have gotten involved and if anything, things have gotten worse over the years.

Also note: There is NOTHING wrong with a “secularly” divorced individual being an EMHC so long as they are not in another relationship. Given the secret nature of annulments, it could very well be that they are reconciled with the church, but again this is up to the pastor to chat about.

That’s not what I am talking about. I tried to make that clear.

 

[on_the_hill]

I neither pay attention nor care to know what my fellow parishioners are doing in their private lives. I’m a sinner just like they are.

 

[Duesenberg]

I can understand that. I’d be interested to understand from the OP whether the situation is a large parish, a remotely located priest, or something else.

Large parish, several Masses each Sunday. It’s located in a small college city.

The people I’m talking about are well know to the pastor, although many others are not.

 

[1ke]

He’s been pastor for 12 years. I’m sure he knows a considerable amount. I know he was at the “after move-in” party hosted by the two EMsHC I noted.

Then I think you should have a direct conversation with him about the situation.

 

[Duesenberg]

I neither pay attention nor care to know what my fellow parishioners are doing in their private lives. I’m a sinner just like they are.

That can be awfully difficult when they make it so publicly known.

 

[on_the_hill]

Even then. I really don’t care.

 

[Xanthippe_Voorhees]

I wouldn’t even consider getting involved

Quite simply, then your only option is to shake the dust from your feet and move on. Find another parish. You want to do nothing, nothing will happen.

There was no way to fix things in my previous parish without the Bishop coming down hard and perhaps even removing the order from the parish. Given the previous, faithful, men from that order it would of been a bad thing.

So I went to another parish. A 30 minute drive compared to a 20ish minute drive. I am HOME. Today, the priest asked the parish to not only pray the St. Michael prayer after mass, but every day–maybe even several times a day. He is SO good. Amazing.

You don’t want solutions, you want to complain. That is obvious.

 

[Duesenberg]

I’m not angry. I’m not really even disgusted anymore. I don’t seek retribution or anything like that. But knowing this stuff goes on with respect the Mass just becomes numbing after awhile. It’s painful, it takes a toll.

If this stuff was hush-hush gossip, the solution would be simple – just ignore it. But that’s not the case. Other than prayer I would never even consider getting involved because I have already viewed the results when other, good people tried.