I'm tired of part-time Catholics in VISIBLE roles at the Mass

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SuperLuigi said:
How is it gossip on an anonymous forum when it’s evidently not about anyone on said forum?

You do realize that even priests will discuss with each other sins that are confessed, just by whom, right?
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“Just by whom?” What?

Do priests talk about them on public message boards?
 
SuperLuigi said:
How is it gossip on an anonymous forum when it’s evidently not about anyone on said forum?

You do realize that even priests will discuss with each other sins that are confessed, just by (NOT) whom, right?
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A couple here are just trolling. Don’t worry about it. If what I was talking about was gossip, I would simply ignore it from the source. But it’s not gossip.
 
I would think on some level we have to have these conversations.

I’m also wondering if this is about them disagreeing with you on American political issues, which I hope don’t take over the forum…ugh.

I find what @pianistclare said very interesting: a lack of training.
 
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I have experienced something similar in a previous parish. There was a couple who lived together without being married. She served as a lector and a EMHC. I do know the priest knew about her living situation as she had told me he knew. I knew of a one other situation where a man serving was living a very non-Catholic lifestyle and shouldn’t have been serving as his situation was made public through social media.

The music director was living in a SSA relationship which was not public until she & her partner got “married” once the law changed. The priest did dismiss her from her position after that.

So while I’ve experienced similar situations in a parish, I still loved that parish and would still be a part of it if I had moved away.
 
Rau said:
If the situation is intolerable and you can’t or feel unable to make it better, then sure.
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Thanks, I didn’t feel like I was that off in my thinking, especally considering I’d been in a different, but similarly frustrating circumstance only earlier this year.
 
Duesenberg said:
My only reason for trying would be to metaphorically have my “ticket stamped.” That I too tried. I’m not being sarcastic when I ask, is that what you’re talking about?
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Difficult not to see that as scarcasm. Can you come to grips with doing something right for the right reason as opposed to for a self-serving reason?
 
I can only speak from personal experience, but I find staying “unplugged” to be of enormous benefit. There is no remedy here other than prayer and serving as an example… unless the OP wants to find a new parish of course.

We have no idea what a fellow sinner’s interior life is like, or what God has in store for them. There may be a grand conversion right around the corner for them. One thing is certain though, this sinner has way too much of a checkered past to be worrying about what the readers are doing on a Saturday night.
 
Horton said:
I have experienced something similar in a previous parish. There was a couple who lived together without being married. She served as a lector and a EMHC. I do know the priest knew about her living situation as she had told me he knew. I knew of a one other situation where a man serving was living a very non-Catholic lifestyle and shouldn’t have been serving as his situation was made public through social media.

The music director was living in a SSA relationship which was not public until she & her partner got “married” once the law changed. The priest did dismiss her from her position after that.

So while I’ve experienced similar situations in a parish, I still loved that parish and would still be a part of it if I had moved away.
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That’s good to hear. Do you happen to recall the parish’s general response? Was she well liked before being dismissed?
 
Rau said:
If you feel unable to do as I suggested earlier, moving on may be wise.
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I would move on, but it’s the best parish in two (there are only two Latin Rite parishes.) I also give two people from my neighborhood rides to Mass which I would like to keep doing.
 
Rau said:
Difficult not to see that as scarcasm. Can you come to grips with doing something right for the right reason as opposed to for a self-serving reason?
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I didn’t expect an actual answer. There ARE times when people need to make an effort no matter what, literally to “punch their tickets”, and I’m seriously asking if you meant that? In all sincerity, what’s the point of talking to the pastor about it when I am absolutely certain about two things:
  • Nothing constructive will be done. I am absolutely sure about that.
  • My pastor is bound to be very defensive about it. Not only would I not be the first to ask him about it (they have already been many), I’m certain he’s already aware there are problems.
 
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2towers said:
I can only speak from personal experience, but I find staying “unplugged” to be of enormous benefit. There is no remedy here other than prayer and serving as an example… unless the OP wants to find a new parish of course.

We have no idea what a fellow sinner’s interior life is like, or what God has in store for them. There may be a grand conversion right around the corner for them. One thing is certain though, this sinner has way too much of a checkered past to be worrying about what the readers are doing on a Saturday night.
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Very interesting posting. What exactly do you mean by remaining “unplugged”? Just keeping a distance from much of the stuff that transpires in a parish?

I don’t worry about what these people do on Saturday nights. It would be great however not to hear about their lives on Sunday morning though.
 
How about if we stop looking at others and cast out gaze on how we have fallen short. Honestly, your concern seems more like a temptation to me.

Pray for those you see doing things that are contrary to the gospel. Correct them if you feel called to after prayer.

“I know now that true charity consists in bearing all our neighbours’ defects–not being surprised at their weakness, but edified at their smallest virtues.”
Saint Therese
 
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That might not have been the best idiom to use. By unplugged I mean “out of the loop.” I am the last person to go to for the latest information on anyone. Oh sure, I am guilty sometimes of listening when I should be ignoring. I have a few close friends and that is all I want, pretty much. I am pretty quiet, but not bashful.

Church is pretty sacred to me. Folks in religious education know me, more than most as I have served as a Catechist. I know people in the office and in RCIA, but that is about it. I don’t want the spin on anyone, it detracts from the experience. My Dad was an Episcopal Priest at a big country club style church. Packed with snobs. The things I heard at the dinner table still leave me feeling ill.

After that I was “at sea with no port” for a very long time. Then I did something I had been wanting to do for decades and became Catholic. Best decision I ever made. So you might say, I am not going to muddy the pond with “getting to know everybody.” I like my Church experience just the way it is.
 
JamalChristophr said:
How about if we stop looking at others and cast out gaze on how we have fallen short. Honestly, your concern seems more like a temptation to me.

Pray for those you see doing things that are contrary to the gospel. Correct them if you feel called to after prayer.

“I know now that true charity consists in bearing all our neighbours’ defects–not being surprised at their weakness, but edified at their smallest virtues.”
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Let’s see if I can better articulate this…

It’s none of my business what these people do in their private lives. It’s just terribly sad that their activities are so visibly linked to the celebration of the Mass at my parish.
 
“lock the doors, and hope they don’t have blasters…”
 
SuperLuigi said:
How is it gossip on an anonymous forum when it’s evidently not about anyone on said forum?
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Gossip can harm three persons: the one who speaks, the one who hears, and the one spoken of. The anonymity of the forum only protects the third person.
 
I think that many are being too harsh on the original poster. Sharing concerns about those in visible roles at the Mass that are actually pretty much speaking of their sins publicly is not gossip in my opinion but public information because these people feel to share their irregular situations openly.

The OP has a right to be concerned and ask for thoughts on the matter. Judging the poster by insinuating this is gossip when the post broke no forum rules is judging the poster.
 
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