I'm tired of part-time Catholics in VISIBLE roles at the Mass

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As far as I remember,it was the Parish Council who chose EMHC here.together with the priest. May have been diocesan instructions but there was also a period of time in office. So I do not remember it as something loose but something structured prayed, and talked over in the Council. And consulted with each Minister one by one. There was a fixed number as I said periodically formally renewed and 6/8 in all including Visitation.
So there was a Council with the priest,and if and when there was a problem ,it was addressed in the Council . Mostly practical stuff to solve,and true,no gossip,nor personal or private,but practical issues to be solved. And there wasn t really much that we couldn t solve gently among all and guided by the priest…

I do not know how it works there.
 
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This post kind of hit home for me. We had to change parishes for a number of reasons, but decided to keep on the reading roster to help Father out (so basically we go to another parish most Sundays, except for the Sundays where we read at our old parish). We’ve had a number of people come up to us and ask why we “only come to Mass when we read”, or say rather patronising: “SO NICE to see you here…” etc etc. It’s hurtful what other people think, when really all we want to do is help Father (who we love a lot).
I think we can never judge another person, or look at them and think: “They’re only PART TIME Catholics”. We do not know what is going on in their lives, we do not know what is going on in their hearts. Only God knows the true condition of our hearts. Besides, we are all sinners. Doesn’t referring to some one as only a part time Catholic show that we think we are slightly above them, because we attend Mass all the time?
I admit that I’ve definitely judged people in a similar way though. I guess we are all human and we are all prone to judging others, but really it is not our place to do this. A verse that helped me was Philippians 2:3: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or empty pride, but in humility consider others more important than yourselves, so that each of you look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.”
I can understand your annoyance is in the fact that these people publicly say that they don’t bother to attend Mass when they’re not rostered on, and also because some of them are serving special reverent roles like Eucharistic ministering, etc. Maybe just pray for them, pray that they will become more truly involved in their faith and in their parish. Prayer works miracles!
 
Prayers is an excellent idea, but are you stating you think it’s acceptable for those living public lives contrary to Church Teaching to be in reverent roles in the Church as you say like Eucharistic Ministry?

I confess with St. Paul I am the worst of sinners but I wouldn’t publicly flaunt my life contrary to Church teaching and then expect to be in Church Ministry as a reader or EM.

I think it is almost like “in your face” I can do ANYTHING I WANT and still serve in the Church.
 
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No I am definitely not saying that I think it is acceptable! I think it is sad really, and also wrong.
I said that I understood the OP’s annoyance about the situation, and that he/she should pray for the people involved. I am young and not the most intellectual person out there, so I don’t really know what the right thing to do in this situation is… Talk to the people? Talk to the priest? Do nothing and simply pray? I really don’t know.
However, I don’t think we should be posting on public forums that we are tired of someone’s behavior, unless we are asking for advice on how to deal with the situation or asking for prayers. That’s what I meant. Sorry if I was unclear.
 
That makes good sense and prayers is always a great idea. I think the the OP was asking for advice and got unfairly judged for it.
God Bless,
 
There are all sorts of difficulties that crop up and situations change. A parish is like a family…
Life is dynamic,for good or bad.
Even one’ s own situation may change,normal difficulties that may prevent us from carrying out our mission smoothly. Sometimes we realize,sometimes it is a friend who gives us good advise to take a break,or change shifts,or whatever. We all know.
If there is a good flow of communication and one has a doubt,a question or a problem,or something one thinks may be cause of a problem,well,the door is generally open.
One doesn t know it all,not by a stretch,and any reasonable concern ,is well,reasonable.
Better take it directly to those who can do something,when the situation merits attention.Any situation…I remember and with a bit of shame that we didn’t have appropriate ramps for a family who had two kids in wheelchairs. That was a big mistake on our part…They were members of our community and we hadn t realized our arrangement weren t enough.
Thanks God,somebody brought that to our attention and we immediately proceeded to make all necessary rebuilding.Straightfoward.
It is dynamic,when one has to,one has to. …
 
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MaryT777 said:
That makes good sense and prayers is always a great idea. I think the the OP was asking for advice and got unfairly judged for it.

God Bless,
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Advice, but more than anything else, a sanity check. Does this go on in other parishes or is mine particularly problematic?
 
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MaryT777 said:
I think that many are being too harsh on the original poster. Sharing concerns about those in visible roles at the Mass that are actually pretty much speaking of their sins publicly is not gossip in my opinion but public information because these people feel to share their irregular situations openly.

The OP has a right to be concerned and ask for thoughts on the matter. Judging the poster by insinuating this is gossip when the post broke no forum rules is judging the poster.
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Thanks for your comments. Keep in mind that like any online forum, there are always a number of problem people. People that are desperate to control the narrative of each thread, people that feel it’s their job to defend clerics no matter the situation, people who strain to demonstrate their own intellectual chops, etc., etc. They’re easy to pick-out.

The worst part about such people in this sort of environment is their behavior keeps some from asking questions – very honest questions which they need answers to.

While I appreciate your concern, it’s best just to ignore such people. Thanks again.
 
Does it happen at my parish?

I’m sure it does. But, I do not let it detract from my relationship with Christ.

And, if I examine myself, I find I am guilty of indiscretions in my life that others may not be so pleased with, so, instead of harboring self-righteous indignation, I try to recall the parable Jesus told in Luke Chapter 6:

39 He also told them a parable: “Can a blind man lead a blind man? Will they not both fall into a pit? 40 A disciple is not above his teacher, but every one when he is fully taught will be like his teacher. 41 Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? 42 Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take out the speck that is in your eye,’ when you yourself do not see the log that is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take out the speck that is in your brother’s eye.
 
To the original post. My fellow parishioners probably think the same of me. I run a business that is open long hours, six days a week. I get every other Saturday off, so we travel 200 miles to visit our children and unwind. Yes, we attend Mass, and often confession while we are away, but most of the parish only sees us there every other Sunday. I am sure many of them have the same feelings about us. We are both lectors, and I am an RCIA catechist. Maybe there are things in their lives you don’t know about.
 
I don’t know what the response was, I had moved away by the time that happened. She seemed to be well liked and she was an amazing music director.

The other two situations somewhat resolved themselves. The woman who was openly living with a man without marriage…after 12 years of living together their relationship ended. I don’t know the reason and it’s none of my business. The man apparently has limited his involvement in the church.

God has his way of solving problems even if it is not in the manner we would like.
 
EricF said:
…Yes, we attend Mass, and often confession while we are away, but most of the parish only sees us there every other Sunday. I am sure many of them have the same feelings about us…
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I made it clear in my posting that I wasn’t surmising anything. These people make the details of their lives very open to everyone. I didn’t say something like “I see that readers only show up to Mass on the days they are scheduled to read.” There would be many reasons why someone may not be at the same Mass each week. That’s not the case here.
 
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Horton said:
I don’t know what the response was, I had moved away by the time that happened. She seemed to be well liked and she was an amazing music director.

The other two situations somewhat resolved themselves. The woman who was openly living with a man without marriage…after 12 years of living together their relationship ended. I don’t know the reason and it’s none of my business. The man apparently has limited his involvement in the church.

God has his way of solving problems even if it is not in the manner we would like.
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That’s very true. One thing that’s changed in my parish is where readers/EMsHC/servers come from. For the longest of times it was almost like a closed guild, very inbred – which contributed to the problems I mentioned. There were always plenty of people. Now there are not – due likely to these issues, plus people not wanting to deal with those in charge of the different ministries. It’s rather amusing to read the notices for more people needed in the bulletin each week.
 
2towers said:
That might not have been the best idiom to use. By unplugged I mean “out of the loop.” I am the last person to go to for the latest information on anyone. Oh sure, I am guilty sometimes of listening when I should be ignoring. I have a few close friends and that is all I want, pretty much. I am pretty quiet, but not bashful.

Church is pretty sacred to me. Folks in religious education know me, more than most as I have served as a Catechist. I know people in the office and in RCIA, but that is about it. I don’t want the spin on anyone, it detracts from the experience. My Dad was an Episcopal Priest at a big country club style church. Packed with snobs. The things I heard at the dinner table still leave me feeling ill.

After that I was “at sea with no port” for a very long time. Then I did something I had been wanting to do for decades and became Catholic. Best decision I ever made. So you might say, I am not going to muddy the pond with “getting to know everybody.” I like my Church experience just the way it is.
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Very interesting comments… Your actions show great wisdom too. I too try to stay above all the folly that takes place at my parish – or at least keep it at arms length. I do my very best to physically avoid the troublemakers – what I consider “dangerous people” (to my faith.) It works too.

Someone from the parish office emailed asking if I had a recent run-in with notorious troublemaker at our parish? I said no, that I had made it a point of avoiding her for years now.

She said she had overheard her in the pastor’s office saying “I have an issue with Duesenberg! I don’t care for the way he treats me at Mass!” My pastor responded with “I seriously doubt Duesenberg would even acknowledge your existence at Mass” as the door was shut and the volume rose considerably. I never heard a thing about it.

Keeping a distance actually works in some cases…
 
Go to war. Marshal the troops. Send those heathens packing. God speed!
 
From what I have read…this is your problem. Notices in the bulletin are not the way to get volunteers for anything. EMHC should be approached by the priest personally. Same for lectors. They should be people the priest knows, and if you are an active practicing Catholic, I believe the priest will know you even a bigger parish. I belong to a parish of 1500 families and the priest recognized us after just a few weeks and knew my name by the first month. It sounds like a problem with the people in charge of the various ministries. I so wish those in charge would change who are the leads of a group every few years to avoid just what you have seen.

Prayers for your parish…and yes, it is like this even at my parish. The previous priest “hand picked” people and the current one just takes whom ever he can get…and complains that there are no volunteers…and just in case of backlash, I am not saying I am worthy or I am not a sinner. But I do know that when I sin, I need to repent and confess and ADMEND my behavior.
 
Blessedwithfive said:
From what I have read…this is your problem.
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Nope, not mine. It’s the problem of many parishes.
Blessedwithfive said:
Notices in the bulletin are not the way to get volunteers for anything. EMHC should be approached by the priest personally. Same for lectors. They should be people the priest knows
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I tend to agree. In a truly well running parish I think the pastor should be recruiting those who have demonstrated certain traits – they don’t miss Sunday Mass, they are willing to help as needed, they have a bit of time in the parish, they are NOT part of any divisive cliques, etc.
Blessedwithfive said:
I believe the priest will know you even a bigger parish. I belong to a parish of 1500 families and the priest recognized us after just a few weeks and knew my name by the first month. It sounds like a problem with the people in charge of the various ministries.
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My parish has about 7,500 members. At the Mass I attend, I would guess my pastor (who is on his 12th year), knows far less than 5% of those that attend. This tradition of arriving in the sacristy 5 minutes before Mass and leaving right after didn’t begin with him either.
Blessedwithfive said:
It sounds like a problem with the people in charge of the various ministries. I so wish those in charge would change who are the leads of a group every few years to avoid just what you have seen.
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The people that are in charge of liturgical ministries at my parish are largely dreadful. There are prime exceptions like our music directors who came from elsewhere. I FULLY agree that “coordinators” should be in place for 2-3 years maximum. That’s been talked about at my parish for a long time. Guess who does all they can do to ensure it will never be a reality.
 
Have you invited them over for breakfast? They may come to now Christ and develop in virtue if you share the Gospel with them personally.
That’s our call as Christians: share the Good News in season and out.
 
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