Infertility

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I’m finally getting up the nerve to post on this forum. 🙂 I’ve been lurking for awhile.

My Dh, Brian, and I have been married since Oct. 2005 and still no kids yet, no positive pregnancy tests either.

I haven’t been “officially” diagnosed yet, but after 1.5 years, I beginning to suspect a problem. I have very irregular cycles and I don’t seem to ovulate according to my charts. Last year I was going to try clomid, but Dh wanted to wait a bit longer. I think it’s getting closer to the time we actually start trying. I’m going to talk to my doctor soon and see what our plan will be. I have a sheet printed off of everything that we’re allowed to do as Catholics and give that to my doctor. Hopefully she won’t blow it off.

I’m almost finished with a novena to St. Anne and St. Joachim. I started it a bit late, but better late than never. I figure extra prayers wouldn’t hurt anything. 😃

I look forward to getting to know everyone better.

I will be sending up prayers for everyone here.

God Bless
 
Carden said:
I’m finally getting up the nerve to post on this forum. 🙂 I’ve been lurking for awhile.
👋 Hi, welcome to the club. :rolleyes: Not sure that’s such a good thing, though…
My Dh, Brian, and I have been married since Oct. 2005 and still no kids yet, no positive pregnancy tests either.

I haven’t been “officially” diagnosed yet, but after 1.5 years, I beginning to suspect a problem. I have very irregular cycles and I don’t seem to ovulate according to my charts. Last year I was going to try clomid, but Dh wanted to wait a bit longer. I think it’s getting closer to the time we actually start trying. I’m going to talk to my doctor soon and see what our plan will be. I have a sheet printed off of everything that we’re allowed to do as Catholics and give that to my doctor. Hopefully she won’t blow it off.
You may have PCOS. That was my first symptom–very very irregular cycles. You may want to google to get more info on it before you go, just so you can mention it if anything else rings a bell and the Dr. doesn’t bring it up. It is highly underdiagnosed–I had it for at least 8 years and 4 docs before I finally got a diagnosis.

I’m almost finished with a novena to St. Anne and St. Joachim. I started it a bit late, but better late than never. I figure extra prayers wouldn’t hurt anything. 😃
:crossrc: Prayers always help! We’ll add you to our prayers too. And hit up St. Gianna Molla. She answered my prayers very promptly! 😃

I look forward to getting to know everyone better.
Just jump in and keep posting. We’re all here for each other, either for advise or just as a shoulder to lean (or cry) on.

I will be sending up prayers for everyone here.
Same here.

God Bless
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Thanks for the welcome Tammy!

I have researched PCOS and I am pretty sure that’s what it is. I will have to brush up before my appointment tomorrow. It’s nice to find people who are my shoes.

Luckily my family understands because there is a history of infertility. Not a good thing, but I’m glad they understand.
 
Carden said:
Thanks for the welcome Tammy!

I have researched PCOS and I am pretty sure that’s what it is. I will have to brush up before my appointment tomorrow. It’s nice to find people who are my shoes.

Luckily my family understands because there is a history of infertility. Not a good thing, but I’m glad they understand.
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Welcome Molly. It is a blessing indeed to have family understanding. I know that it was very tough for me not to have that. It just made the infertility thing that much harder to come to grips with. I wish I had these forums then!
Keep us updated on your doctor’s visit!
Prayers for everyone here.
 
Hi everyone and welcome to the new posters. I am P+9 and am still hopeful for this cycle. I have been breaking down into tears for no reason whatsoever and almost all the time. A sad song on the radio- I cry. Mass- I cried. I was holding my former foster baby- I cried. At my birthday party- I cried. That is so not like me!

Tonight I’m going out with my girlfriends and I’m terrified that one will announce she is pregnant. Of course I’d be happy for them, but all but one gets pregnant within the first 2 months of trying.

Carden- It sounds like PCOS to me too. Hopefully you are one of the lucky people who can still get pregnant easily with some minor medication.

Doystoyevsky- If you happen to find a way to get off the rollercoaster, spread the word! I think pregnancy may be our only way off.

Waitingnjylhope- Being late stinks! I used to have 12 day luteal phases and it’s all I can take now when I’m day 14 and have no period. Day 15, I’m getting eager, and then day 16, AF shows. ]

Talk with you all soon. You are in my prayers.
 
**Welcome to all the newcomers! 😃 **

**It’s so sad over here lately! 😦 **

**My heart goes out to each and every one of you all. It seems like we have all gotten into a funk. Maybe we need to start group prayers. Maybe that will help. :confused: (For all of you newcomers…my husband and I are also TTC with a year and a half of no “luck.” While we don’t know anything for certain…after a year of trying…I hopped on this thread for prayers and support!) **

**All I can say is, I really admire you all. 🙂 I could not do what you all do each month. It’s hard enough getting my “monthly reminder” that I am not pregnant. That week and a half (sometimes two weeks) is so difficult physically and emotionally. I can’t imagine having to worry about it for the whole entire month. I honestly don’t see how you do it. Even if we could afford the treatments (which, of course, we can’t) I would go straight into adopting. I am such a coward I know, but it would be too hard. At least with adoption my “chances” are greater. It just puts me to tears the dedication you all have to promoting the gospel of life within you. **

You all are so awesome! You make me :crying: for joy. I wish I could be half the person you all are…then maybe I’d be halfway to sainthood. 🙂 You all will be blessed for your dedication, trials, pains, and sufferings. All for life. All For God. What tremendous efforts others use to prevent life from coming into this world, or destroy it once it get here, you are using to try to conceive life, to make a life, to promote a life, to prepare a home for an immortal soul.

**I just wanted you to know what I thought of you all. I am so glad I know you and am so blessed to have you all as friends. 🙂 **
 
Hi everyone!

That roller coaster is such a hard thing. It may sound wierd, but one good thing to come out of my surgery is that I’m not going through that anymore. I never did find a good way to deal with it, it was that same hopefullness every month, only to have the crashing disappointment accompanied by raging PMS. Oh the joy. :rolleyes:

I’ve got some exciting news! It’s not much, but DH and I actually attended a meeting tonight for prospective foster and adoptive parents. It’s nice to have taken a step in that direction. We’re very interested. I see that Chovy fostered a baby, has anyone else done that too? What was the experience like? Did anyone here go the foster then adoption route? We’ve decided to think things over and start filling out the application this weekend. It’s very strange to think that our kids could be out there right now, we just haven’t met up yet. I’m going to be praying for them, so if you all could pray too, that would be wonderful!

I’m also interested in the experiences of other adoptive parents. Anything we should know going in? Anything you wished you’d known but didn’t until you were in the middle of the process? Is the home study traumatizing or not a huge deal?
 
I normally debate the war and other issues elsewhere in the forums but was surfing the other topics and came across this one. My wife and I have experienced infertility and after some fertility treatments turned to adoption.

We both served in the Navy and used NFP for a few years to postpone children while out to sea-- then tried for a couple years with no answers when we were back home. After a few tests and 6 months on Clomid and no answers we dropped those efforts. Our NFP charts clearly showed a short luteal cycle but could get no help there. I’ve already been open to adoption as my younger sister was adopted from South Korea as an infant. Intersting that I am writing in this forum about the topic, because I stil remember when the old Be magazine from Catholic Answers was around and I read an article about Dr. Guarendi with his large family built through adoption. I had not thought we would be adopting but it hit me and I knew God was telling us that adoption was the route.

Years later, I have a 5 year old daugher and a 3.5 year old son, both adopted from our local area. They are black, African America, or whatever term you want to use (I don’t like any of them) and my wife and I are both of European descent so we stand out as a family. To make things even more strange, we’re in the final stages of going to adopt a little girl from China. I often forget that they don’t look like me – although I swear the personality match between my wife and daughter and to some degree my son and I are uncanny. The time of trying to conceive like many said was a horrible roller-coaster and didn’t end with any definitive diagnosis of a problem (which bugs me as an engineer!) nor with any faith in the capabilities and ethics of some in the medical community. We were made to feel backwards for stopping in our treatment before IUI, IVF, GIFT, and all of the other methods that are not in keeping with our understanding of the church’s teaching in Donum Vitae and other sources. We could theorectically conceive but are no longer in that roller coaster – if it happens great, but God has called us to adoption. My challenge particularly as a guy is to still see marital union as open to life even if we likely never conceive a child.

Adoption including the “transracial” aspects has been a 99% positive thing – you have to fill out tons of paperwork (I’ve done worse having to apply for a security clearance), answer written and verbal questions on your personal history – too touchy feely for me. You have a lot of waiting and unanswered questions – like during the fertility treatments. But in the end, you will end up with a wonderful family – and like many have said, kids are kids. I think adoption helps us understand that none of us own our children – having them genetically related to us may give us some insights into personality types and other physical and mental characteristics, but they certainly don’t alter the relationship or make them more our own. Each child is a gift of God (although be careful before you pray for an active and intelligent child – he might answer it!). We happen to have received that gift through alternate means – and there are so many children that need a home. Many are simply “the wrong color” – it is said how many children that are otherwise healthy go unadopted because of race. If anyone wants any info on adoption and transracial adoption, I/we would love to share anything we can in a post or PM, etc.

I can see God’s hand in all of this and know that we have the family that He wanted us to have at the right time. Every once in a while, I remember the tough days of the roller-coaster ride from month to month hoping for a conception only to have that shattered as my wife’s cycle ended and restarted with her period. That strained us but I guess we are stronger for it. One final thought to end my rambling: I remember sitting in our small chapel after daily mass, which I was able to attend at the time and no longer am able to unfortunately. I was asking God the usual “why” question along with “what do you want” and all of the other usual related questions that one goes through–we were in the middle of fertility treatments and frustrated/depressed. I’m a convert and had really come to grasp the concept of our suffering being offered to Christ and have and continue to be very involved in the pro-life activites in our area. Well, it hit me that I should take that pain and rather than getting bitter instead to offer up that suffering of infertility for the sins of abortion. The pains of an inability to bring forth new life on our own offered up as reparations for those children that will never be allowed to be born. I don’t remember that as much, but it comes up from time to time such as when I read through this post and I figured I would share it.

Sorry for the rambling post, but am new to this area and wanted to offer up my family’s story as encouragement for someone out there.
 
Welcome Tiber Squid! Such an inspiring post!! Thank you. We wondered if we were called to inter-racial adoption too. We were finally called to conceive, but only after much release of control and offering up of our suffering, (especially mine.) But nothing is ruled out. We never know what God might have in store! 😉

I love your screen name. You are not only on the Tiber swim team, but you are a squid there too!
 
Tiber Squid, I found your post to be very encouraging! I, too, hate the idea that all of these kids are just out there waiting for the right home, and not finding it b/c of their age, race, the fact that they are part of a sibling group. We really hope to do something about that; we can’t help all of these kids, but we can bring home those that God calls for us.

The racial issue is something DH and I have discussed. We’re both white as can be (we’re both of English and Irish descent), but we’re open to children of whatever race. The issue DH raised that is something we really have to consider would be how our children would fare if they aren’t white. Unfortunately, we live in a predominantly white, not very racially sensitive area. The use of the “n” word isn’t uncommon. It makes me sad, but it’s a fact of life, and something we do have to think about. DH doesn’t want to foster or adopt kids and then have their lives be hell at school or out in the community; they’ve had enough trouble in their lives, we don’t want to add to that burden. Tiber squid and others–have you had to deal with any sort of racism with regard to your kids? Are we worrying for nothing?
 
aurora77 said:
Tiber Squid, I found your post to be very encouraging! I, too, hate the idea that all of these kids are just out there waiting for the right home, and not finding it b/c of their age, race, the fact that they are part of a sibling group. We really hope to do something about that; we can’t help all of these kids, but we can bring home those that God calls for us.

The racial issue is something DH and I have discussed. We’re both white as can be (we’re both of English and Irish descent), but we’re open to children of whatever race. The issue DH raised that is something we really have to consider would be how our children would fare if they aren’t white. Unfortunately, we live in a predominantly white, not very racially sensitive area. The use of the “n” word isn’t uncommon. It makes me sad, but it’s a fact of life, and something we do have to think about. DH doesn’t want to foster or adopt kids and then have their lives be hell at school or out in the community; they’ve had enough trouble in their lives, we don’t want to add to that burden. Tiber squid and others–have you had to deal with any sort of racism with regard to your kids? Are we worrying for nothing?
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**That’s the only race we can’t adopt too. Where we live it could put the child in grave danger, and could get us killed. :eek: **
**If we move back home, it might be easier. **
**We are open to any other race or nationality though. And, hopefully, one day we can live in an area that is more welcoming to interacial families. 🙂 **
 
We have an interracially adopted daughter. We live smack in the middle of the midwest, and have had no problems. We did live near a large city when we adopted, so that was easier, having other interracial families nearby. We have now moved to the boonies, so we really stick out now. But nothing bad has come of it. All our friends and church members love her. How could you not? 😉 Anyway, I agree with TS, she is just one of our kids. 🤷 Everyone forgets she’s adopted. One of my friends, when the subject of pregnancy came up, asked me if she was a C-section like my other daughter. I said yes. Then she went :doh2: :blushing: “D’oh! I forgot she was adopted!” I said no problem, and she was a c-section anyway 😉 . Just one example of how well she fits in.
 
Kind of off the subject, but…
For those of you who have had false positives on a pregnancy test, how long did it take you to "get over it."
**Mine was last month, and I am still in tears thinking about it. I am really in a funk, I was in one before, but that false positive threw me over the line. I just cry and cry and cry. I have been crying about being infertile for three months straight. Then this happened. I am now even worse! When does it end? Does it ever? **
**Any thoughts on how to cope with this? **
 
Convert in 99,

I know that during my darkest hours, I have to vent and I have to find a way to think it through, but then I need to move on. I ask God to show me what it is he wants me to learn. Sometimes he really wants to have control of my life and I am not letting him. What is it that God wants me to do just for today. I do what I can and then get busy with life. Right now I go take my EWTN radio and go work in the basement to smooth out the drywall seams. God put you hear for a reason and you have to know that he has something better than ever planned for you. Let him get to the better than ever part. I am forever NOT PATIENT, but soon I begin to understand why it is that God has chosen this path for me. I will pray.
 
dkoinzan said:
Convert in 99,

I know that during my darkest hours, I have to vent and I have to find a way to think it through, but then I need to move on. I ask God to show me what it is he wants me to learn. Sometimes he really wants to have control of my life and I am not letting him. What is it that God wants me to do just for today. I do what I can and then get busy with life. Right now I go take my EWTN radio and go work in the basement to smooth out the drywall seams. God put you hear for a reason and you have to know that he has something better than ever planned for you. Let him get to the better than ever part. I am forever NOT PATIENT, but soon I begin to understand why it is that God has chosen this path for me. I will pray.
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This is so beautiful! Thank you so much! You are so very kind. I really need to get over this, I just don’t know how to start. Really!

**If I could work, I would, to begin saving up for adoption. But I am unable, as I am unable to do much outside the house, without getting sick for a week or two. I tried asking to volunteer at the local catholic school and preschool, but they didn’t need anyone. (How could a preschool not need volunteers? :confused: ) They are really picky around here about adults and children, child protection and all that. So, I need to find something I can do HERE, in my own home. All my ideas get shot down outside the home, so maybe God is calling me to stay here and do something from our home? Could that even be a possibility? Or does God call everyone to go OUT to do something with or for others? :confused: **
**Maybe I am to do something I can do every single day, even when I am too sick to go out (which is quite often.) I am just SO confused as to what that might be??? :confused: **

I have been praying lots, and hopefully I will be “enlightened” soon.

**Don’t worry I am never patient either. It’s my worst virtue! 😉 **

**Thanks again for the kind prayers and consoling words! 🙂 **
 
**Well I said something the other night that made me and hubby crack up! It’s always good to have a few laughs in the midst of all this sorrow, so I thought I would share. 🙂 **

**I caught myself asking hubby a REALLY silly question. :o I have gotten so frustrated with TTC lately and wondering how some couples just make love once and get pregnant. I spent lots of time trying to think this over, like we were missing a peice to the puzzle or something. Like it was the day I was absent for health class in Junior High. 😛 **

Anyways, being so frustrated and deep in though I looked right at hubby and said without thinking "are we doing ‘it’ right? Is there something fundamental we are forgetting to do during the act?"

**He just started cracking up, and when I realized what I had said, I was cracking up too. 😃 It just goes to show a person how crazy this infertility problem is making me. I am literally trying to annalyze this from the bottom up…and making myself nutso in the process. 😊 **
 
I once spent the whole night with a pillow under my hips so gravity could help. :o
 
dkoinzan said:
I once spent the whole night with a pillow under my hips so gravity could help. :o
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Only once? 😛

I used to put my feet up against the wall and lay there for hours, then collapse back onto the pillow and sleep the rest of the night like that…:o
 
Teakafrog said:
Only once? 😛

I used to put my feet up against the wall and lay there for hours, then collapse back onto the pillow and sleep the rest of the night like that…:o
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Ok, more than once, but I didn’t want to admitt to it. 😊
 
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