Interdenominational relationships RCC/JW

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Jaded,

When you say that the kids won’t “just be raised Catholic and that’s that”, why not? You know that is what your future husband’s religion calls for when there is a marriage between a Catholic and a non-C. And it will be very hard on the kids, don’t you think? I think you should take some RCIA classes and learn more about your fiance’s Faith.

Pick up a copy of “We Believe - A Survey of the Catholic Faith” from Fr Oscar Lukefahr. They are free (including shipping). You can get them from: amm.org/chss.htm
 
Excellent idea Semper. Jaded, while you are waiting for your annullment, take an RCIA class. And encourage your fiance to take it with you. It could be a nice bonding experience. Lots of people take the class just to learn about the faith, not everyone is intending to convert. And sometimes Catholics themselves take it as a refresher course for understanding their faith.

But my advice would be to find a more conservative parish that truly teaches what the Catholic church espouses. There are a lot of wolves in sheep’s clothing out there-- even among priests.

And if you did decide to convert, we would welcome you with open arms!

Live long and prosper,

kim
 
kim wilson:
Excellent idea Semper. Jaded, while you are waiting for your annullment, take an RCIA class.

Live long and prosper,

kim
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Love the closing line. 😉
I asked about this. You cannot take them unless you are converting. You can’t just take them for informational purposes.

Thanks for all the compliments on my site. I’m glad the star trek wallpaper was used. I took four years of graphic arts and I love using photoshop to make collages and stuff.

You’re right, I’m not here for advice on whether or not I should marry a Catholic or whether my fiancee should marry me. I"m here for advice on catholic annullments. JustB started this thread just to examine certain things, but I’m not here for advice on my marriage.

🙂
 
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Jaded27:
Love the closing line. 😉
I asked about this. You cannot take them unless you are converting. You can’t just take them for informational purposes.🙂
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Your parish must do it differently than most, RCIA is supposed to be for anyone who wants to look into the Catholic faith. Look into a parish near your area, maybe the one your fiance goes to is just low on resources, or speak with the pastor and maybe he’ll let ya slip in. Sounds like a pretty cool guy.
 
Semper Fi:
Your parish must do it differently than most, RCIA is supposed to be for anyone who wants to look into the Catholic faith. Look into a parish near your area, maybe the one your fiance goes to is just low on resources, or speak with the pastor and maybe he’ll let ya slip in. Sounds like a pretty cool guy.
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Ohhhh. . .
Hm, well maybe I’ll look into it further then.
Does it cost money though? Cuz we have NOTHING extra right now. 🙂 You know how it goes.
 
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Jaded27:
Ohhhh. . .
Hm, well maybe I’ll look into it further then.
Does it cost money though? Cuz we have NOTHING extra right now. 🙂 You know how it goes.
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Jaded,

RCIA is totally free…in fact, in my parish we were told that we were “guests” of the parish and not asked to donate anything at all.

Although RCIA is intended for people who are in the process of considering conversion, our sessions were open to anyone, including people who were already Catholic. There are specific rites that members of RCIA go through, including being officially recognized as catechumens in the Church…that may be why you were told that RCIA is for people who are considering converting to the Catholic faith.

Since that’s not where you’re at right now, I can understand not being officially in the RCIA program. However, Maybe you could attend the sessions without being part of the RCIA process, per se. Our RCIA sessions took place right after our 10am Mass, and were open to anyone in the parish. Maybe you could just attend the sessions? Check with “your priest”…he might have some suggestions for you. 🙂

Also, it was emphasized to me that RCIA is not intended to be a one-year crash course in Catholicism. It’s a process that takes as long as it’s supposed to take. There’s no pressure whatsoever.

Let us know what shakes out here!

JPA
 
Hey Jaded,

I also visited your website and although I can’t comment on the Star Trek stuff (my husband believes I’m the only person on the planet who’s never seen an entire episode of Star Trek or any of the Star Wars Movies… ) But I did like your pets. Especially the bird. How sweet. I have a bird that I love soooo much.

Anyhow, at my RCIA class there were several people who had taken the class previously but decided they didn’t want to become Catholic - which was totally OK. The purpose of the class is to just teach what the Catholic Faith is about… and if you explained that you personally don’t have an interest in converting - but want to learn what your children will be learing when they go to CCD & mass, I think everyone would think that’s a wise thing to do. I don’t think they charge for it… and if they did… if you said you wanted to come but didn’t have any $, I’m sure the fee would be waived.
 
carol marie:
I don’t think they charge for it… and if they did… if you said you wanted to come but didn’t have any $, I’m sure the fee would be waived.
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There is no fee. I wouldn’t want anything to do with a Church which charged money to convert (or look into it). 😉 And if they did, she could just explain how she didn’t want to donate to the whore of babylon. Heh. 😉
 
Semper Fi:
There is no fee. I wouldn’t want anything to do with a Church which charged money to convert (or look into it). 😉
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I guess that rules out Scientology then, huh? :rolleyes:
 
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“I asked about this. You cannot take them(RCIA) unless you are converting. You can’t just take them for informational purposes”.
END QUOTE

Now that’s a bunch of ****. Who told you that? We had 2 guys in my RCIA who were just doing it for informational purposes (although one did convert eventually) and one catholic who just wanted to be more grounded in his faith. It was free for all of us and they even gave us free Bibles and catechism books

Did Father Laidback tell you this or some idiot lay member?

Sorry, my letter didn’t have a very nice tone. My anger is directed toward whatever parish you are dealing with and certainly not you, Jaded.

my favorite Star Trek movie line --Kirk to the Klingon he eventually killed-" I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU!!!"
 
JP Augustine:
I guess that rules out Scientology then, huh? :rolleyes:
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Ah, but see with scientology you get stuff that’s worth paying for. Um, hello! Flying to other planets to build communities on them? I want to go to Mars!!
:rolleyes:
 
I’ve never been asked for a dime in association with attending RCIA. It has been emphasized many times in my classes that attending will not make you Catholic, nor must you have the intent to become Catholic in order to go. Every parish has a different schedule, of course, but the classes I’m taking began last winter, in February, I think. They all go until Easter Vigil at any parish, though. I started last May, I think. All of the classes prior to two weeks ago were not part of the formal education, although I learned a lot from them. They were just more informal, and allowed for a much broader discussion than the ones since the “official” RCIA process began. The size of our class tripled, and that doesn’t even count the children that began theirs.

Next week our class is entitled “What Catholics Believe”, and the next few after that go into some things like Saints & Angels, All Saints Day/All Souls Day Observance, Prayer and Spirituality. After that, the topics get heavier, such as one is an overview of the Trinity and Sacraments, and each Sacrament will have an additional night where it will be talked about too. (Sacraments are things like Communion, Confession, Marriage, etc). There are a few on Church History, and various Catholic Rites.

Some of the people who now help with the classes have said that they went through 2 or 3 times before deciding to actually become Catholic. Between that and the emphasis put on the fact that there’s not any obligation to become Catholic, I’d say that whoever told you that you couldn’t attend just for informational purposes was wrong. I can’t imagine that would be different at any parish, and from the concensus, that seems to be the case.
 
At my parish as well, the RCIA classes are NOT restricted to those intending to convert. A friend of mine is Baptist and married to a Catholic. Prior to marriage she agreed to raise their children in the Catholic Church, which she has been faithfully doing. Last year she wanted to know more about the faith of her then 2 children.

She was pregnant at the time, so she didn’t finish the program, but she was welcomed, even though she wasn’t certain that she’d be able to agree with many Catholic teachings. She still doesn’t understand the Catholic approach to Mary.

But at least she has somewhat of a better understanding of what her husband and children believe. And she may retake the program. I know she’d be welcome to give it another go. Maybe this time she’d be able to get through more of the classes.

Keeping you in prayer,

CARose
 
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Jaded27:
Not to be rude, but so what? so learning about other religions is bad? I get to hear all the time on here how JWs would never set foot in a church. . .yadda, yadda, yadda. . …
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There is nothing wrong with learning about other religions. That is not what you are describing though. You will be raising your children in two very contradictory, different faiths. Put yourself in their shoes. Don’t you see the confusion they will feel? How will that affect them? What kind of emotional baggage will they carry with them into adulthood? Will they end up atheist, hating God?

I honestly don’t think your priest is aware of your plan to raise the children in both faiths. No good Catholic priest could possibly agree with this.

But you are not looking for advice. Maybe this marriage of yours is God’s way of reaching out to you. He has an incredible way of finding good in all situations.
 
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paramedicgirl:
There is nothing wrong with learning about other religions. That is not what you are describing though. You will be raising your children in two very contradictory, different faiths. Put yourself in their shoes. Don’t you see the confusion they will feel? How will that affect them? What kind of emotional baggage will they carry with them into adulthood? Will they end up atheist, hating God?

I honestly don’t think your priest is aware of your plan to raise the children in both faiths. No good Catholic priest could possibly agree with this.

But you are not looking for advice. Maybe this marriage of yours is God’s way of reaching out to you. He has an incredible way of finding good in all situations.
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I’m sorry, but is there some personal reason that you keep harping on this?
I honestly don’t see the big deal. We won’t be having holidays and birthdays in our house and they’ll only be at church on sundays. they’ll be at meetings three times a week, for the most part.
I guess if they get really confused then they’ll just be in the faith that we have more time for and the of the parent who is more dedicated to it. Not that my FI isn’t dedicated, but I DO attened ALL my meetings EVERY week so if this became an issue they’d just go with me to meetings and be JWs.

You’re right,you’ve convinced me this totally isn’t possible and I guess they’ll just have to be JWs and not Catholic. :rolleyes:

(If anyone can’t see the sarcasm in that post. . . .look again. lol)
 
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Jaded27:
Ah, but see with scientology you get stuff that’s worth paying for. Um, hello! Flying to other planets to build communities on them? I want to go to Mars!!
:rolleyes:
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Touche’…but I just don’t have the spare $300K laying around to be able to take that trip.

Maybe I should talk to Tom Cruise…maybe he’d float me a loan… :rolleyes:
 
JP Augustine:
Touche’…but I just don’t have the spare $300K laying around to be able to take that trip.

Maybe I should talk to Tom Cruise…maybe he’d float me a loan… :rolleyes:
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Yea, but just remember - you can’t have depression or anxiety or anything because those things don’t really exist. . . . 👍
 
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Jaded27:
I’m sorry, but is there some personal reason that you keep harping on this?
I honestly don’t see the big deal. We won’t be having holidays and birthdays in our house and they’ll only be at church on sundays. they’ll be at meetings three times a week, for the most part.
I guess if they get really confused then they’ll just be in the faith that we have more time for and the of the parent who is more dedicated to it. Not that my FI isn’t dedicated, but I DO attened ALL my meetings EVERY week so if this became an issue they’d just go with me to meetings and be JWs.

You’re right,you’ve convinced me this totally isn’t possible and I guess they’ll just have to be JWs and not Catholic. :rolleyes:

(If anyone can’t see the sarcasm in that post. . . .look again. lol)
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Jaded,

I believe that paramedicgirl is what you call “harping” on this because you dismiss, rather than acknowledge, the effects of raising children in two faiths.

As I posted before, you fiance will promise on your wedding day to raise all of the children you have together as Catholics. You said in your post that the children will only be involved with the Catholic Church on Sundays but will go to JW meetings three days a week. That is not what your fiance will promise. He is promising to his Church that he is “spiritually responsible” for all your little tikes. It means he has to take them to Mass at least once a week and on all holy days of obligation. It means he will see them through baptism and communion. But being Catholic isn’t just about going to Church. It’s about dedicating ones life to Christ, who is God. Your future husband will also need to be educated in his faith enough to answer a ton of questions 24/7 from inquisitive little minds and later skeptic teenagers. It’s a really, really big deal.

You can ignore mine and others’ concern on this point if you choose, but I would encourage you to think seriously about the fact that by raising your children in both faiths, your husband will break his promise to the Catholic Church and actively go against his faith.

God bless you.
 
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ElizabethAnne:
You can ignore mine and others’ concern on this point if you choose, but I would encourage you to think seriously about the fact that by raising your children in both faiths, your husband will break his promise to the Catholic Church and actively go against his faith.

God bless you.
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I’m not ignoring. Just saying that we’re getting married either way and that we’ve talked about all these things with each other, our families, our religions, so on and so forth. We’re not going to not get married so. . . it’s a pointless thing to discuss and debate on here. I’m not going to listen to anyone tell me I shouldn’t marry my fiancee, the love of my life. No one should expect that they EVER know enough about a person or about the world to have the knowledge and wisdom to tell anyone that.

That’s why I skim those posts and usually don’t bother replying. Because whatever happens, happens. We’re not going to call off the wedding due to raising kids. Sorry.
 
Hey Jaded,

I’m sorry if you’re feeling barraged by all this repeated commenting on your plans for raising your kids.

I don’t think anyone here would begin to suggest that you shouldn’t marry your dear fiance’. It sounds like you are very much in love and we appreciate that. Heck, I think it’s also been stated that it may well be God’s plan that the two of you are together.

I just got an email from a friends mother who married a Catholic (my friend’s dad) 50 years ago. At the time, she (a presbyterian) and her husband agreed to raise their children as Catholics. What this means is that the children are taught from the earliest age that what the Catholic Church teaches regarding the divinity of Christ is the Truth, as given to us by God. While there remains enough within the Catholic Church that she doesn’t agree with to remain outside the Church, she and her husband took their promise seriously. The children all went to Catholic Schools. They were taught only the Catholic religion. This does not mean they were not given an understanding of what Presbyterians believe. But they were not taught that both truths are equally correct.

It is not raising a child in the Catholic Faith to tell them both:
1.) Christ is the Divine Son of God, Fully Human and Fully God
and
2.) Christ is the incarnation of St. Michael the Archangel.

These two facts (among many others) are mutually exclusive. I think people here are merely asking that you consider the confusion that will be sown in their minds.

But you don’t even have kids right now. They are merely a desired gift you anticipate receiving from God. Mothers have incredible wisdom when raising their children, and I know you too will have this God given Grace to lead your children when they do arrive.

We’re simply suggesting that you consider your plan a bit more closely.

But heck, I KNEW everything I needed when I was young and in love with someone I no longer know. So I have been where you are. I think some of us old geezers are just hoping you’ll avoid some of the mistakes we made by not taking discussions to the next level of depth that really gets you where you need to be.

But I don’t think anyone wants you to cancel your wedding. I’m not hearing that. I’m hearing suggestions that you give greater thought to the realities of what you and your df are committing to with regards to raising your future children.

God Bless,

CARose
 
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