Interfaith Marriage

[jmcrae]

First off, sorry everyone but I am not catholic. So maybe my point of veiw can help. My husband is catholic and before we can get married in the church I have to agree to raise our children to be catholic. I am against this just like your spouses because on the surface that feels a little cultish to me. That is why I decided to investigate further. Our children have not been baptized although I have no problem with it. My husband and I currently have compromised. One sunday we go to his church the following we go to my church.

Your husband needs to go to Mass at least every Sunday; he can do this at a time that is more convenient for the family (like, in the evening, or on the previous Saturday evening) but he can’t skip Mass just because he is also going to your church.

Both religions can be taught and shown to the kids and you can demonstrate to your kids that your family is united and that as a couple you can work through this. Ultimately the kids will decide what religion they believe in.

What happens with some kids is that they try to get Confirmed in both religions, since they have been brought up to believe that they are “the same, but different” - so they don’t understand why they can’t have “dual membership.”

 

[masuwerte]

Just sayin’.

 

[Little_Katie]

In my experience and opinion, you must show a united front. While I respect Nathan’s decision to remain Lutheran and not convert, he has always gone to Church with me. He just doesn’t receive Communion. He does also attend Lutheran service, but Catholic Mass is not an option.

When we have children this will continue. He is more than welcome to attend Lutheran service on his own, but Catholic Mass will always be a family activity.

My husband used to do this. But one day he told me he found the Catholic services to be ‘creepy’ and he didn’t want to go anymore… So I didn’t push it. I miss going to Church as a family though. Now a days, I go all alone and something feels like it’s missing even though I know I am going there for God and don’t need anyone else there.

 

[Little_Katie]

In my experience and opinion, you must show a united front. While I respect Nathan’s decision to remain Lutheran and not convert, he has always gone to Church with me. He just doesn’t receive Communion. He does also attend Lutheran service, but Catholic Mass is not an option.

When we have children this will continue. He is more than welcome to attend Lutheran service on his own, but Catholic Mass will always be a family activity.

My husband used to do this. But one day he told me he found the Catholic services to be ‘creepy’ and he didn’t want to go anymore… So I didn’t push it. I miss going to Church as a family though. Now a days, I go all alone and something feels like it’s missing even though I know I am going there for God and don’t need anyone else there.

 

[Little_Katie]

In my experience and opinion, you must show a united front. While I respect Nathan’s decision to remain Lutheran and not convert, he has always gone to Church with me. He just doesn’t receive Communion. He does also attend Lutheran service, but Catholic Mass is not an option.

When we have children this will continue. He is more than welcome to attend Lutheran service on his own, but Catholic Mass will always be a family activity.

My husband used to do this. But one day he told me he found the Catholic services to be ‘creepy’ and he didn’t want to go anymore… So I didn’t push it. I miss going to Church as a family though. Now a days, I go all alone and something feels like it’s missing even though I know I am going there for God and don’t need anyone else there.

 

[narayan]

:bounce: Hello, how r u?
why u r bowdar about your hushand ? :tsktsk:
:crying: No Beepee Bee happy :extrahappy:
I’ll give suggestions for your both, sit one side of the home. :coffeeread: should be cool of bothsides and talk with a patience & commit to rules.what ever u both like? that’s all.:clapping:

Thanks & Regards

Nani :bowdown2:

 

[thenewmrssears]

Do you ever go to a Lutheran service with him? Why or why not?

Yes. Sometimes. I enjoy the Saturday evening service, and I go once or so a month. However, I generally think the people are less accepting of my being Catholic than the people at my Church are of him being Lutheran.

However, I go to Catholic Church every week, because I don’t receive Communion in the Lutheran Church.

He’s even an assistant Sunday School teacher at the Catholic Church…just helps with Arts + Crafts. Nothing that involves him teaching faith. He coaches football at the Catholic School at the Church. I offered to help with some baking at his Lutheran parish and was told my help wasn’t needed, but the lady right behind me was given the opportunity.

The message was loud and clear.

 

[vrb]

Let me give a little more detail…No we were not married in the Catholic Church, we were married by the JOP. Back then my husband was not a “church goer”. I was more dedicated to my church than he was. Every Sunday I would go to church with our only son at the time. I had talked to him regarding baptizing my son and future children in the Catholic church and he agreed. Then over the years he changed his mind. He was also fine with my son attending Catholic School. My son still attends the same school. As the years have gone by, we have agreed to attend my church one Sunday and his the next. So far I have done my part but he has not. Did I mention that he physically hasn’t became a member of any church.
I guess the situation is fine right now, but I know there will be struggle when first communion and confirmation comes along…I will take everyone’s advice and pray and let this fall into God’s hands. Thanks.

 

[Corki]

Let me give a little more detail…No we were not married in the Catholic Church, we were married by the JOP. Back then my husband was not a “church goer”. I was more dedicated to my church than he was. Every Sunday I would go to church with our only son at the time. I had talked to him regarding baptizing my son and future children in the Catholic church and he agreed. Then over the years he changed his mind. He was also fine with my son attending Catholic School. My son still attends the same school. As the years have gone by, we have agreed to attend my church one Sunday and his the next. So far I have done my part but he has not. Did I mention that he physically hasn’t became a member of any church.
I guess the situation is fine right now, but I know there will be struggle when first communion and confirmation comes along…I will take everyone’s advice and pray and let this fall into God’s hands. Thanks.

Were you Catholic when you got married? The answer to this really drives all the other advice.

If you were Catholic, and were married by a JOP, the Church does not recognize your marriage until you have it convalidated. Since you are in a mixed marriage, part of the convalidation process should be a version of pre-cana which includes agreements on raising the children in Faith.

If you have already had your marriage convalidated, then your husband should be aware of and agreed not to stand in the way of your duty to bring you children up in the faith. If you haven’t gotten your marriage convalidated yet, that would be the place to start.

 

[mmplps7783]

Your husband needs to go to Mass at least every Sunday; he can do this at a time that is more convenient for the family (like, in the evening, or on the previous Saturday evening) but he can’t skip Mass just because he is also going to your church.

What happens with some kids is that they try to get Confirmed in both religions, since they have been brought up to believe that they are “the same, but different” - so they don’t understand why they can’t have “dual membership.”

Since everyone likes to make assumptions I think it is best for me to make things clear. First of all my husband quit going to church when he was 13 yrs old after his mother died. I am the one who is pushing him back to his faith because I beleive that God should be the foundation of everything we do. So I am helping him get back to his church THANK YOU VERY MUCH!.
Secondly back to your assumption about my husband…he is hispanic and doesnt speak english very well. We live like forty -five minutes away from the only spanish speaking mass. They have several services but all fill up so quickly that we end up standing up for the whole mass. That is quite difficult with children that are ages 1,2,3!!! And No they do not have a nursery.

I was brought up baptist nothing else. When I was fifteen I was invited to a friends church (she was mormon) so I went. Hence my search to find the truth about Christ. Many churches have taught so many different things that I have been discouraged enough to walk away from God completely until about five years ago. That is why I don’t consider myself any denomination. Believe me that NO ONE thinks that the Catholic religion is the same as any other.
I also distinctly remember telling the lady that this would only last temporarily (her husband doesnt even sound like an active member in the church). Who said anything about dual membership? Just because you go to a church doesn’t make you a member. In that case I’m Catholic? In the mean time going to both chuches (she will have to go to chuch twice) will buy her some time to let GOD work out the situation.

Can anyone explain to me why it is a sin (mortal or not?) to miss a mass?

 

[twb1621]

Since everyone likes to make assumptions I think it is best for me to make things clear. First of all my husband quit going to church when he was 13 yrs old after his mother died. I am the one who is pushing him back to his faith because I beleive that God should be the foundation of everything we do. So I am helping him get back to his church THANK YOU VERY MUCH!.
Secondly back to your assumption about my husband…he is hispanic and doesnt speak english very well. We live like forty -five minutes away from the only spanish speaking mass. They have several services but all fill up so quickly that we end up standing up for the whole mass. That is quite difficult with children that are ages 1,2,3!!! And No they do not have a nursery.

I was brought up baptist nothing else. When I was fifteen I was invited to a friends church (she was mormon) so I went. Hence my search to find the truth about Christ. Many churches have taught so many different things that I have been discouraged enough to walk away from God completely until about five years ago. That is why I don’t consider myself any denomination. Believe me that NO ONE thinks that the Catholic religion is the same as any other.
I also distinctly remember telling the lady that this would only last temporarily (her husband doesnt even sound like an active member in the church). Who said anything about dual membership? Just because you go to a church doesn’t make you a member. In that case I’m Catholic? In the mean time going to both chuches (she will have to go to chuch twice) will buy her some time to let GOD work out the situation.

Can anyone explain to me why it is a sin (mortal or not?) to miss a mass?

I admire your dedication at overcoming your obsticles to keep God in your family’s lives. If you don’t mind my asking, do you have a desire to find which Christian faith is full to the teachings of Christ?

 

[jmcrae]

Since everyone likes to make assumptions I think it is best for me to make things clear. First of all my husband quit going to church when he was 13 yrs old after his mother died. I am the one who is pushing him back to his faith because I beleive that God should be the foundation of everything we do. So I am helping him get back to his church THANK YOU VERY MUCH!.

This is great!

Secondly back to your assumption about my husband…he is hispanic and doesnt speak english very well. We live like forty -five minutes away from the only spanish speaking mass. They have several services but all fill up so quickly that we end up standing up for the whole mass. That is quite difficult with children that are ages 1,2,3!!! And No they do not have a nursery.

The Spanish also are very tolerant of children - I am sure your children are welcome there.

Who said anything about dual membership?

I did. The reason I mentioned it is because you said that the children would choose their religion when they get older.

I am pointing out that a lot of kids from mixed-religion households try to double up and do their Sacraments in both churches, in order to please both of their parents, since at home they are being taught that the two religions are really the same, essentially.

They don’t like to choose between their parents, so they want to belong to both religions, at the same time.

There was an article in the United Church Observer about this phenomenon, in June of 1999.

Just because you go to a church doesn’t make you a member.

Of course not - that’s not what I was saying at all. I am talking about kids who take two different Confirmation classes, in two different churches.

Can anyone explain to me why it is a sin (mortal or not?) to miss a mass?

Because every Sunday is like a litte Easter (since Jesus rose from the dead on a Sunday).

It is right and fitting for us to celebrate the Resurrection of Jesus Christ together with the Church that He founded, once every seven days, in accordance with the Commandment of Moses that tells us to set aside the seventh day, and make it holy unto the Lord. Sunday worship at Mass is a fulfillment or perfecting of the Sabbath of the Jews, since the Sabbath puts us in mind of the God of Creation, while Sunday puts us in mind of the fact that the God of Creation came down from Heaven and became part of His Creation, died for our sins, and then by means of the Resurrection, made it possible for us to go up to Heaven and be with Him there.

 

[mmplps7783]

I admire your dedication at overcoming your obsticles to keep God in your family’s lives. If you don’t mind my asking, do you have a desire to find which Christian faith is full to the teachings of Christ?

Yes I do. I accidently started listening to the catholic answers broadcast in my area. I heard about this website and logged on the rest is history. I am trying to learn as much as I can so I can make an educated decision and not be like others who jump in feet first and then find themselves worshiping the wrong God or worse.

 

[mmplps7783]

This is great!

The Spanish also are very tolerant of children - I am sure your children are welcome there.

I did. The reason I mentioned it is because you said that the children would choose their religion when they get older.

I am pointing out that a lot of kids from mixed-religion households try to double up and do their Sacraments in both churches, in order to please both of their parents, since at home they are being taught that the two religions are really the same, essentially.

They don’t like to choose between their parents, so they want to belong to both religions, at the same time.

There was an article in the United Church Observer about this phenomenon, in June of 1999.

Of course not - that’s not what I was saying at all. I am talking about kids who take two different Confirmation classes, in two different churches.

Because every Sunday is like a litte Easter (since Jesus rose from the dead on a Sunday).

It is right and fitting for us to celebrate the Resurrection of Jesus Christ together with the Church that He founded, once every seven days, in accordance with the Commandment of Moses that tells us to set aside the seventh day, and make it holy unto the Lord. Sunday worship at Mass is a fulfillment or perfecting of the Sabbath of the Jews, since the Sabbath puts us in mind of the God of Creation, while Sunday puts us in mind of the fact that the God of Creation came down from Heaven and became part of His Creation, died for our sins, and then by means of the Resurrection, made it possible for us to go up to Heaven and be with Him there.

I figured that was the basis of the whole mass thing. But why is it only acceptable to go to mass and not any other service? You are still worshiping Christ and keeping the Sabbath holy so is this just a rule of the church or can this be backed up with some proof that I can read. As I said I am searching for answers.

Yes the hispanics are understanding but I can’t even understand or enjoy the mass because the children are trying to run or I’m trying to keep them quiet…it’s just a mess.

Protestants do not have confirmation classes. We just go and hear the word of God and that’s all. But then again I don’t know what a confirmation class is. Is it like Sunday school?
Maybe it is true that the kids will try to be both (most likely not mine because I want them to find their own truth not mine just like my mom did for us) My mom was baptist and my dad was catholic. He didn’t like taking us to mass with him. we were to lively

 

[twb1621]

Yes I do. I accidently started listening to the catholic answers broadcast in my area. I heard about this website and logged on the rest is history. I am trying to learn as much as I can so I can make an educated decision and not be like others who jump in feet first and then find themselves worshiping the wrong God or worse.

Your certainly on the right path and there are many resources available to answer any questions where answers exist. Ask away anytime. Once you have learned the truth, you’ll crave to know as much as you can. Then you will truly know loving Him. When your husband see’s your enlightenment you may see a growing interest in him as well.

May the Holy Spirit guide you.

 

[duskyjewel]

I figured that was the basis of the whole mass thing. But why is it only acceptable to go to mass and not any other service?

Because Mass is the only service where Jesus Christ’s flesh and blood are truly present. Jesus commanded us to eat His body and blood. Not to eat a representative or symbol of it, but His true body and blood. Catholics believe in the miracle of Transubstantiation, wherein the bread and wine *actually change *substance and become the body and blood of Christ. The appearance remains the same, but the underlying substance changes.

 

[jmcrae]

I figured that was the basis of the whole mass thing. But why is it only acceptable to go to mass and not any other service? You are still worshiping Christ and keeping the Sabbath holy so is this just a rule of the church or can this be backed up with some proof that I can read. As I said I am searching for answers.

Because the Mass is what Christ gave us to do (“Do this in memory of Me” - not something else instead) - not any of the Protestant services. The Protestant services were created by human beings when the first Protestants decided that they didn’t want to go to Mass or belong to the Catholic Church any more, back in the 1500s.

Protestants do not have confirmation classes.

Some do, some don’t. It’s the process of “joining the church.” For Baptists, the process would be less formal - they would have Sunday School, Altar Call, and then believer baptism.

We just go and hear the word of God and that’s all. But then again I don’t know what a confirmation class is. Is it like Sunday school?

Yes, it’s a lot like Sunday School.

 

[mmplps7783]

Because Mass is the only service where Jesus Christ’s flesh and blood are truly present. Jesus commanded us to eat His body and blood. Not to eat a representative or symbol of it, but His true body and blood. Catholics believe in the miracle of Transubstantiation, wherein the bread and wine *actually change *substance and become the body and blood of Christ. The appearance remains the same, but the underlying substance changes.

Okay maybe I am misunderstanding something. How can it be the blood and body of Christ if he is no longer walking the earth?

 

[mmplps7783]

Because the Mass is what Christ gave us to do (“Do this in memory of Me” - not something else instead) - not any of the Protestant services. The Protestant services were created by human beings when the first Protestants decided that they didn’t want to go to Mass or belong to the Catholic Church any more, back in the 1500s.

Okay I have not read anywhere in the bible that says that I have to be catholic. I realize that as a catholic you believe that your church is the true church and yadayadayada…but since I do not (still keeping an open mind) that passage about doing this in rememberance of me has nothing to do with why you HAVE to go to mass and not a church service. As far as being offered the body of Christ at every service, every Sunday the church that I currently attend (but not a member) has it before the service in a special room. All are welcome to partake if they feels so inclined. My problem has always been that organized religion places rules that are a misinterpretation of God’s word. I could be wrong.

 

[jmcrae]

Okay I have not read anywhere in the bible that says that I have to be catholic. I realize that as a catholic you believe that your church is the true church and yadayadayada…but since I do not (still keeping an open mind) that passage about doing this in rememberance of me has nothing to do with why you HAVE to go to mass and not a church service.

The “this” in that sentence is the Mass, which He had just given to the disciples, at the Last Supper - the rituals, the prayers, the breaking of the bread and the pouring of the wine, the offering, the Consecration, Holy Communion, and all the rest of it, which they then passed down to their own followers, who passed it down to theirs, etc., in an unbroken line all the way until now, by means of the Catholic Church. What we experience at every Catholic Mass all over the world today is what Jesus gave to the disciples on the night of the Last Supper.

As far as being offered the body of Christ at every service, every Sunday the church that I currently attend (but not a member) has it before the service in a special room. All are welcome to partake if they feels so inclined. My problem has always been that organized religion places rules that are a misinterpretation of God’s word. I could be wrong.

That’s a beautiful custom.

But why before the service? Have you ever asked yourself, if what Jesus gave to the Church on the night before He died was not a sermon and a Bible lesson, but rather, Holy Communion, then why not have Holy Communion as the main event at every service, instead of only once in a while, or at a different time than when the families would normally be there?

There is also the issue of the proper ordination of the ministers. If the ministers don’t have Apostolic Succession going back to Jesus, then how did they receive the Apostolic authority and power to be allowed to offer Holy Communion, in the first place - or did they even receive it, at all? (And if they didn’t, then what they are giving out is nothing more nor less than a bit of bread and wine or grape juice, and not the Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity of Jesus, at all.)

The reason the Bible only tells us to be members of “the Church,” and not specifically “the Catholic Church”, is because at that time, it didn’t occur to any of them that in the future there would ever be any confusion on the issue. They were all Catholic back then because there was no other choice - and it would not have occurred to them that there ever could be another choice. That didn’t start to happen until more than 1400 years after they had all died.