Intersexed Catholic

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pathia

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The title sums up my life’s story. I am an intersexed individual, I was assigned male at birth and believe this to be a mistake. I am working at ‘correcting’ this mistake by the doctors at my birth.

From my discussions with priests, they all seem to consider me as having a gender identity issue and push me towards Courage and to just ‘carry my cross’. However I don’t see how I am same theologically as homosexuality.

I am sterile, irreversibly, from birth. There is nothing to fix this, thus any surgery regarding my sex/gender will not effect my status. I don’t function as a male or female and never can.

According to the priests I cannot be married, to either a man or a woman, no matter what, because of my intersexed status. I am not sure if this is the true Catholic position or not, they confessed they were not that knowledable of this issue wholly.

Rachel
 
I don’t want to sound unsympathetic. I am sorry you have this cross to carry, but try to understand that it is only by the cross that we can be saved, and while yours is a very difficult cross to carry, you have what it takes to be a saint. By uniting your suffering to the suffering of Christ, you can do much good for the Kingdom of God.
Matthew 19:11-12:
But he said to them, “Not all men can receive this precept, but only those to whom it is given. For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. He who is able to receive this, let him receive it.”
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Eunuchs by birth- People who are intersexed, or have mutilated sex organs at birth for whatever reason.

Eunuchs made by men- consecrated temple virgins (consecrated by their parents), homosexuals (though it is not chosen, it is not to be acted upon. Social influences are believed to cause it, which is why it is in this category) people who have been tortured and had their sex organs removed.

Eunuchs made by themselves for the Kingdom of Heaven- lay consecrated virgins, religious, clergy (some of them).
 
I was also told that because of my intersexed status I cannot be a priest or hold any sort of orders. Not necessarily from the biological condition itself, but because of the psychological stresses that I have due to my ‘cross’. Thus I cannot marry, or follow a religious life.

I have thought of teaching, but because of society’s stigma against people like me (most take me for a transsexual, intersex is rarely known/understood) and thus that lifepath is similarly impossible.
 
May I ask, do you know what you are genetically? Or in the case of being intersexed, does the abnormality run genetically as well as in external appearance?
I am not very knowledgeable on this topic.
 
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pathia:
I was also told that because of my intersexed status I cannot be a priest or hold any sort of orders. Not necessarily from the biological condition itself, but because of the psychological stresses that I have due to my ‘cross’. Thus I cannot marry, or follow a religious life.
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If you feel like you may have a religious vocation, I would check that with a canon law expert and/or a vocation’s director, becuase somthing sounds wrong there, just a gut feeling.

As for the teaching, go for it. Maybe you could do a small bit to ease that stigma. I mean, there is really only 1 cure for ignorance, no?
 
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Brain:
May I ask, do you know what you are genetically? Or in the case of being intersexed, does the abnormality run genetically as well as in external appearance?
I am not very knowledgeable on this topic.
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I am what is known as a mosaic. I have multiple sets of chromosomes, they differ throughout my body, different areas have different chromosomes. They don’t know why it happens, but the following chromosome patterns have been seen in my body. XY, XXY and XX. This is not chimeraism, which is something much rarer and even less known about it. Some mis/information about this has been in the media lately because of an episode of CSI.

Some intersexed conditions are caused by chromosomes, others by genetics, some by hormones, some by chemicals or other external causes. Mine as explained a bit above is by chromosome variance. Mine was not actually noticed until puberty, or rather my lack of it. I did grow, but I didn’t gain many masculine traits, lack of facial hair, body hair etc, things like that. For the most part I appear to have male genitalia, it’s only once you start looking ‘deeper’ do the differences start.

Rachel
 
well, I guess that would be an impediment to orders as there is a total ambiguity but religious life might still be a go, but again a monestary is not a place to hide and so unless you are meant for that, not a good idea.
 
Hi Pathia 👋,
Welcome to the forums. I am sorry you have this cross to bear. There was a great article on firstthings.com about the mistakes made in assigning genders at birth. Usually it was in misassigning female to biological males through castration and surgical reconstruction. I am not familiar with the reverse situation. I would guess that part of the answer would lie in which anatomy a person is born with regardless of its functionality. For example you reference sterility but you don’t mention a natural absence of testes. If a person had some sort of womb or ovaries even without being functional, that would be significant. But as I said, this is only a guess since I am not a doctor or theologin.

Each case is handled individually. Yes, educating others is a great avenue of pursuit. When one is seeking one’s trueself it must always be within the context of God’s plan. God must have something amazing in the works for you. Human’s make mistakes, God never does.

The religious life and marriage are both enormous vocations. It doesn’t sound like you are taking them lightly, by any means. The single life is also a serious vocation. One does not need to be a consecrated religious to be devout in prayer and spiritual life. Please remember in your prayers all of those who are called to the single life and have no idea why. That can also be a painful cross to bear.

EDIT: Also not being able to “function” as a male or female would preclude one from marriage. Meaning, a person who cannot reproduce can marry. A person who cannot consumate cannot marry.
 
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LittleDeb:
Hi Pathia 👋,
Welcome to the forums. I am sorry you have this cross to bear. There was a great article on firstthings.com about the mistakes made in assigning genders at birth. Usually it was in misassigning female to biological males through castration and surgical reconstruction. I am not familiar with the reverse situation. I would guess that part of the answer would lie in which anatomy a person is born with regardless of its functionality. For example you reference sterility but you don’t mention a natural absence of testes. If a person had some sort of womb or ovaries even without being functional, that would be significant. But as I said, this is only a guess since I am not a doctor or theologin.
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I didn’t want to get too detailed, but I will try to use non-offensive language. I have gonads, they are mixed and improperly formed. Biopsies of them showed them to be testicular tissue, but there were stripes of ovarian tissue in them too. However at birth they appeared normal, just small and undescended which is not extremely uncommon. That’s why I was assigned male, there wasn’t that much of an issue, I showed no visual oddities until puberty.

It’s difficult to study them though because they are extremely undersized. I am going to have an ultrasound of my abdomen to see if there are any other ‘mystery’ tissues inside my body.

Rachel
 
Hi Rachel,

I can’t begin to imagine the issues you are dealing with and have dealt with growing up. Not knowing much about intersexuals, I googled and read an account by Max Beck from a PBS show. In his case the doctors and parents made an arbitrary decision at birth and adjusted his genitalia to suit. I don’t know if that happened to you as well, but for him it sounds as though the choice was wrong.

I don’t know the Church’s position on this. Have you actually contacted Courage? Even though they are best known for helping people with homosexual tendencies, perhaps some of their priests have more experience with intersexuals.

Another organization which it may be interesting to research is the National Catholic Bioethics ncbcenter.org/index.asp . I found a link to this article after doing a search on hermaphrodite (intersexual/intersex didn’t yield any results): NCBC: Ethics and Medics
E&M Table of Contents JULY 2004, VOL 29 NO 07 The Science of Chimeras and Hybrids What Are Chimeras …

The article requires a subscription…that may be worth it if you are trying to learn more about the Church’s understanding of your condition.

In the meantime, I will pray that you find peace within the Church.

God bless,

Robert
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pathia:
I am what is known as a mosaic. I have multiple sets of chromosomes, they differ throughout my body, different areas have different chromosomes. They don’t know why it happens, but the following chromosome patterns have been seen in my body. XY, XXY and XX. This is not chimeraism, which is something much rarer and even less known about it. Some mis/information about this has been in the media lately because of an episode of CSI.

Some intersexed conditions are caused by chromosomes, others by genetics, some by hormones, some by chemicals or other external causes. Mine as explained a bit above is by chromosome variance. Mine was not actually noticed until puberty, or rather my lack of it. I did grow, but I didn’t gain many masculine traits, lack of facial hair, body hair etc, things like that. For the most part I appear to have male genitalia, it’s only once you start looking ‘deeper’ do the differences start.

Rachel
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pathia:
I didn’t want to get too detailed, but I will try to use non-offensive language. I have gonads, they are mixed and improperly formed. Biopsies of them showed them to be testicular tissue, but there were stripes of ovarian tissue in them too. However at birth they appeared normal, just small and undescended which is not extremely uncommon. That’s why I was assigned male, there wasn’t that much of an issue, I showed no visual oddities until puberty.

It’s difficult to study them though because they are extremely undersized. I am going to have an ultrasound of my abdomen to see if there are any other ‘mystery’ tissues inside my body.

Rachel
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I would say that the testicular tissue with stripes of ovarian is significant. That alone does seem to rule out chimeraism. (I have a passing understanding of it from research after watching a BBC documentary.)

My only remaining questions are thus: The assignment of male at birth does not seem to be surgical or intentional. Please forgive my wording because I am trying to tread carefully in this emotionally sensitive area. Since you said there were no noticable features that made your gender seem ambiguous, I am not understanding the use of “assigned gender at birth.” Are you refering to the socialization and label of you as a male? I mean no disrespect. I am trying to understand.

The other question, where you given any testosterone at puberty when you were seemingly low or missing it? Again, please forgive the question, I am trying to understand the nature/nurture aspect of this very rare condition.

As I said there must be something amazing God has in store for you. Jimmy Akins article really touched on how important it will be for The Church to understand the very deepest root of this condition.
 
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LittleDeb:
My only remaining questions are thus: The assignment of male at birth does not seem to be surgical or intentional. Please forgive my wording because I am trying to tread carefully in this emotionally sensitive area. Since you said there were no noticable features that made your gender seem ambiguous, I am not understanding the use of “assigned gender at birth.” Are you refering to the socialization and label of you as a male? I mean no disrespect. I am trying to understand.
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Socializination and labeling is what I mean, yes, though fairly early on I was quickly seen as a girlish boy not only mentally but physically by my peers and treated as is the norm for such children, that is to say teased and bullied constantly.
The other question, where you given any testosterone at puberty when you were seemingly low or missing it? Again, please forgive the question, I am trying to understand the nature/nurture aspect of this very rare condition.
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We didn’t really notice different things until I was in college, when I was old enough to resist the idea of treatment. I have other relatives who have had odd things just like myself, so this condition or something like it seems to run down the family line, my maternal line to be specific.

However, I did try testosterone treatment for a few months, I became suicidal and nearly killed myself by trying to overdose on sleeping pills.
 
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pathia:
The
I am sterile, irreversibly, from birth. There is nothing to fix this, thus any surgery regarding my sex/gender will not effect my status. I don’t function as a male or female and never can.

According to the priests I cannot be married, to either a man or a woman, no matter what, because of my intersexed status. I am not sure if this is the true Catholic position or not, they confessed they were not that knowledable of this issue wholly.

Rachel
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Canon law states that one cannot validly marry if one is incapable of performing the marriage act. That is because marriage is ordered to the unity of the couple and the procreation of children, and it is the marriage act that unites and fulfills both these purposes.

Continue to get good medical and psychological advice from professionals in this field, and moral and spiritual direction from your priest. Courage does indeed assist people with afflictions similar to yours, which requires heroic virtue. Bear in mind that God reminded Paul, regarding his own “thorn in the flesh” that His grace is sufficient and His power is fully manifest in our weakness and afflictions.

Concentrate on developing the spiriitual and personal virtues and gifts you will need to deal with the unique sacrifices and sufferings of your life, which are none of your fault, and unite them to the sacrifice of Christ on the cross. Courage can help you immensely in this area. They are much more than a g/l “support group”.
 
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pathia:
I was also told that because of my intersexed status I cannot be a priest or hold any sort of orders. Not necessarily from the biological condition itself, but because of the psychological stresses that I have due to my ‘cross’. Thus I cannot marry, or follow a religious life.
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The reason you cannot be ordained or get married is biological- not psychological. As I said before, this is not an easy cross to bear, but remember, even Jesus didn’t carry his alone. Have a strong prayer life, and find a priest to be your confessor and spiritual director who is aware of your situation.
 
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m134e5:
The reason you cannot be ordained or get married is biological- not psychological. As I said before, this is not an easy cross to bear, but remember, even Jesus didn’t carry his alone. Have a strong prayer life, and find a priest to be your confessor and spiritual director who is aware of your situation.
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Therein lies the problem. I am deeply in love with my boyfriend and we have been together for over a year. He is understanding of my situation and both of us want children, yet the church says we cannot marry.

Rachel
 
I don’t understand why you would not be allowed to get married. If you are more biologically a women than a man then it wouldn’t be a homosexual act
 
My advice won’t go well over here,

But I say forget the Church, love your boyfriend and be happy. Don’t let these archaic, speculative, moral philosophies get in the way. What kind of options has the church left you? They’ve done nothing but brushed you into a dark corner where they hope no one will see you because you present a real problem…your very existence threatens gender roles…creates moral ambiguity. The Church says you can’t be a priest, you can’t get married, you can’t have children, a sexual drive or a life partner…wait no sorry, you can have “Jesus”, what a consolation!

If its a choice between misery and happiness, than thats no choice at all.
 
Having eternal life in Jesus is more than a consolation. No one is brushing Rachel into a dark corner.

God bless,

Robert
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Gnosis:
My advice won’t go well over here,

But I say forget the Church, love your boyfriend and be happy. Don’t let these archaic, speculative, moral philosophies get in the way. What kind of options has the church left you? They’ve done nothing but brushed you into a dark corner where they hope no one will see you because you present a real problem…your very existence threatens gender roles…creates moral ambiguity. The Church says you can’t be a priest, you can’t get married, you can’t have children, a sexual drive or a life partner…wait no sorry, you can have “Jesus”, what a consolation!

If its a choice between misery and happiness, than thats no choice at all.
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I am a practicing Catholic and don’t want to go agasint church teaching in giving you advice but I don’t think there is a precedant that I know of on this issue. You are not a Eunech so I don’t think they could use that example. I personally don’t see a problem in you getting married. The church allows women who are sterile to marry. If I were in your situation I seriously would get a cannon law lawyer, if they have those, and try to argue the case for why marriage should be allowed and then take it all the way to the pope if need be. It is such a rare scenario that it may go that far. You may lose but why not try? Also, if you did lose then you would at least be confident in knowing celibacy and the hard life you accept in order to live faithful to Jesus is the right decision and you will be rewarded for it and that would be all the comfort you hopefuly would need.
 
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