Is going camping alone with someone of the opposite sex a bad idea?

  • Thread starter Thread starter rc_trad
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
R

rc_trad

Guest
We (this man and I) are both in our early thirties and are both practicing Catholics and serious about the Faith. We are good friends. We had dated for a short period of time before but shortly before the Coronavirus, we parted as we were both going through a lot in our lives and it just wasn’t a good time for us to appropriately discern marriage with each other. Well, he asked me to go camping with him and I am just wondering if you think it could be an occasion of sin? A lot of people are going to have differing views on this. We both still have strong feelings for each other. If we were to go together, we would absolutely share different tents but being out there in the dark at night and secluded is it a bad idea?
 
I don’t think it is a good idea at all. You know all the reasons why or you wouldn’t have started this thread.

If this is the same man from one of your earlier threads that was discerning his vocation in life, it is an even worse idea.
 
Last edited:
It is the same man. Can you please tell me why you think it’s an even worse idea?
 
rc_trad said:
We both still have strong feelings for each other.
Click to expand...
This pretty much confirms it’s a bad idea. I don’t think it is necessarily a bad idea for a man and woman to go camping, but if you have dated and still have feelings, it really doesn’t sound great.
rc_trad said:
If we were to go together, we would absolutely share different tents but being out there in the dark at night and secluded is it a bad idea?
Click to expand...
Wait so you intend to share a tent? Okay that’s definitely a very bad idea.
 
Because you would both be relying on your emotions and not thinking clearly. Too much temptation to move the relationship along.

So has he decided that the priesthood is not for him? Because if you say that he has not ruled it out that makes it an even more terrible idea.
 
Short answer is yes, bad idea. Leave him alone to discern if priesthood is for him.

Be honest with yourself about what you hope is the outcome of this trip.
 
Last edited:
Irishmom2 said:
So has he decided that the priesthood is not for him? Because if you say that he has not ruled it out that makes it an even more terrible idea.
Click to expand...
This!

So, here’s the thing that amazes me: no one would seriously suggest that, if a person is seriously discerning a marriage to Sally, he should do so by going out on a date with Jane. On the other hand, there’s this idea out there (maybe it was more prevalent in the 80’s, but it’s still out there today) that a guy who’s discerning to be a priest should date (“just to see what he really wants”). It’s absurd!

So… let him discern the priesthood. Once (if?) he discerns it’s not his calling, then entertain the idea of a relationship with him.
 
rc_trad said:
If we were to go together, we would absolutely share different tents but being out there in the dark at night and secluded is it a bad idea?
Click to expand...
Yes.

It doesn’t seem safe. Why alone? Why overnight?

Seems fishy to me.
 
I hope to play down: in my part, when I was young, for trips in the woods between boyfriends, people said: “They leave in two and come back in three” 🙂

It’s a joke, don’t take it … but it indicates that at the right moment the moral forces abandon us, maybe it doesn’t happen but when the stakes are high the principle of caution is a must.
 
Putting yourself in a situation purposefully while knowing the risks in my opinion could be a sin in itself. I think I also heard this from a saint but I’m not sure which one. But just avoid it is what I’ll have to say
 
It’s pretty telling that the answers are pretty much unanimous in saying it’s a bad idea except for the witch in the crowd. OP, maybe think about who you would be agreeing with here if you decided to go.
 
The witch is just here to…wait for it…”stir the pot perhaps?” Hah? * dodges fruit * Maybe not.

To answer the question, no, bad idea. Don’t want to fall off a cliff, don’t dance near the edge.
Dominus vobiscum
 
You’d be placing yourself and him in a near occasion of sin and causing the sin of scandal to those who know you two are camping alone as practicing Catholics. God has made man and woman to be drawn to each other. Being out in the wilderness away from “chaperones” just the two of you? I agree with the comment above: “Be honest about what you hope the outcome is of this trip.” It’s really just dangling a carrot and relying on the other person’s sheer willpower not to take it. Societal norms and expectations are a good thing in protecting us from our passions. These norms will be a far away protection when you’re out in the woods alone.

You may be trying to skirt the line, and that’s when human weakness comes into play. Draw the line further back. Cancel the trip. You can bring friends next time. Or you can go alone once you’ve made public vows of fidelity at the altar.
 
Last edited:
rc_trad said:
A lot of people are going to have differing views on this.
Click to expand...
Why start a thread then? If you know there will be differing views, whose advice are you going to think is the right advice? The ones who tell you what you want to hear?

Honestly, I think you know the answer (it’s a bad idea) but you’re looking for someone to tell you it’s perfectly fine.

It’s not perfectly fine. Don’t do it.
 
Last edited:
Sorry Brother, but I have to disagree. “Don’t you trust me?” is something a teenager says to his parents when they refuse to let him go somewhere they know is a very strong temptation to wrongdoing.

It’s not that parents don’t trust their kid, it’s that they don’t trust human nature.
 
She would not be causing the sin of scandal if she went on the camping trip, whether or not anything untoward happened. The sin of scandal is specifically in regard of a Catholic engaging, participation, or providing support to an intrinsically evil act. “Camping” as an act is in no way evil. The “with a man, alone” is part of the circumstances surrounding the act, not the act itself. If it were an intrinsically evil act then the same event would still cause scandal if you or I were to put yourself in her situation.

The only sin in this case on the part of those observing the act would be the sin of judgement.
 
Last edited:
“Do you trust me?” is also the same question that God asks man. It is not to be automatically discarded because of people’s bad experience with it. Unless the question is that the OP does or does not trust her friend to (forgive the crudeness) rape her, the question of any Catholic in any act is “Do I trust myself to do the right thing in the right situation?” This is the virtue of fortitude. She is asking herself (and praying) if she has enough fortitude to resist. If she doesn’t then don’t go. If she believes she does, then take steps to inhibit her fall and proceed as her conscience is telling her.
 
Edited for deletion of previous reply***

I think that it is rare that I align with a CAF consensus, on a given thread. When that consensus is more conservative than my own initial judgement, it is an even more rare cause to stop and rethink. This trip may very well be a bad idea. My main hesitation is the fact that we just dont know much about this guy.

Please keep safe.
 
Last edited:
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top