Is going camping alone with someone of the opposite sex a bad idea?

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You are forgetting a very important context for this concept in Spiritual Combat. It is trust of ourselves, alone that causes us to fall. St. Francis de Sales is emphasizing the need to constantly lean on Christ for strength. For a Catholic, the strength of our virtue rests in the degree upon which we lean on Christ’s virtue.

So too, when there is a possible (not assured) near occasion to sin, we must take actions to minimize the potential for that occasion. This is why I told the OP to talk to her friend ahead of time and discuss the issue.

This is true, however, this does not directly apply to this situation. This is not a direct temptation or occasion of sin, but rather a potential one. If the Saints avoided any potential occasion of sin, then they would have never left their rooms.

For example, someone is tempted to steal a certain bar of candy when they see it, then it is prudent to avoid all stores which that person knows carries that candy. If, however, you come unknowingly come across a new store which caries that candy, it is then when you take actions to flee from the temptation. It is not the case that they should never enter into a store which could potentially carry that candy.

If you the OP was 100% certain that the temptation will occur, it is then that the your post about the Saints would be accurate. The OP, however, stated that while they did date, they parted as friends. As the OP posted that they both are observant and religious Catholics, I doubt that they were intimate. Thus it is safe to assume that they are able to interact without sexual temptation.

People cannot be held back from living a fulfilling life simply because somewhere, sometime, I may find themselves in temptation.
 
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Let’s define his discerning priesthood. Is he a seminarian?

Most of.the priests I know did date prior to entering seminary, especially late vocations of men in their 30s and older.

If he is not forbidden by his superiors to date, then, dating him is okay.

Being alone on a camping vacation, that is a Prudential decision. Will you be able to resist temptation that arises? Only you know.

Of course, having been camping, I don’t find digging a hole to go to the bathroom or smacking mosquitoes to be exactly romantic.
 
I would definitely suggest you invite a female friend to come with you. And if she really doesn’t like being the third wheel, invite a male friend as well, so there are two “couples”. Then the guys can share one tent and the girls another (sleeping alone in a tent in the forrest can be kind of scary!).
 
MNathaniel said:
How do you square the question you’re telling the OP to prioritize, with the commitment we make every time we leave the confessional to:
“… firmly resolve, with the help of [God’s] grace, to… to avoid the near occasions of sin.”
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I believe you ignored a very important word in your quote: “near”. If you know that you will be tempted, avoid it to the best of your abilities, If you foresee that there may be an occasion of sin during an good event, then make appropriate preparations to stop that near occasion of sin from happening. If it does happen, have a plan ready to retreat from that situation.

That is what “to avoid the near occasions of sin” means. “Near occasions of sin” are the specific points when you are tempted.
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Dating a woman while being in seminary is a really bad idea. Kind of like having two girlfriends at once. If he’s not a seminarian but only thinking about it, he can date.
 
CRM_Brother said:
People cannot be held back from living a fulfilling life simply because somewhere, sometime, I may find themselves in temptation.
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I confess to being utterly baffled by your repeated posts on this, Brother.

Going on this completely non-essential one-on-one leisure camping trip with a man who has already proven himself problematic for the OP (have you not read her previous posts about him before responding at this length to her thread?) is in no way clearly some necessary part of “living a fulfilling life.”

I’d argue to the contrary that if this man is unwilling to engage in more obviously healthy activities with her (like, say, a daytime date in a park) before trying to take her to the woods alone at night, then having him out of her life entirely will more likely help her move more quickly to “living a fulfilling life.”

Again, I’m simply baffled. But then again I’m coming from the perspective of having dated men who the OP’s man reminds me of, and having seen how badly that can end and how much better off I would have been if I followed my very first instinct and firmly avoided the first occasion to sin that I suspected of being such. None of this is unforeseeable. I honestly cannot imagine the rationale for encouraging a woman to go camping with a sexually and emotionally immature man in the woods, alone. I truly don’t get it. This will add nothing foreseeably good and important to her life (if the camping’s that important, bring more friends; if it’s about spending time alone with the man, just do it in the daytime within the boundaries of civilization), and there are such obvious and significant risks of downside. Not just to her, but to this man. He doesn’t seem spiritually and sexually mature himself, so why put him in what will so predictably be a near occasion to sin for him?

Why do you keep encouraging her to do it? What’s the point?

Your profile mentions that you’re considering the diocesan priesthood. With respect, I honestly imagine that if you achieve this, and after a few years of listening to the Confessions of men and women, about the sins they’ve fallen into and what led up to them, you might no longer be giving this kind of advice to strangers.
 
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Thank you for the judgement of a man who has no ability to defend himself.

I am speaking objectively on the moral issue itself and only on the moral issue, as I have repeatedly stated in my posts. I apologize if my disagreement with you has triggered your ire to the point where you have not taken my posts within the full context which I present them.

Good bye and God bless.
 
You seem to confuse would in this post with could. ‘Would’ is an assurety that if you participate or join this occasion or person then you will be exposed to sin. ‘Could’ is the possibility to be exposed to sin.
 
CRM_Brother said:
Thank you for the judgement of a man who has no ability to defend himself.

I am speaking objectively on the moral issue itself and only on the moral issue, as I have repeatedly stated in my posts. I apologize if my disagreement with you has triggered your ire to the point where you have not taken my posts within the full context which I present them.

Good bye and God bless.
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The OP reports that the man has directly told her he is potentially interested in being a husband but not a father.

That’s immaturity. That’s not a man ready for marriage. Marriage must be open to children. He’s potentially open to marrying for the purpose of the relationship with a wife, but not open to the responsibility of fathering and having a fatherly relationship with children.

I’m not judging his heart, but I am judging the situation according to what we’ve been told.

My ire is over counsel given that directly contradicts the Act of Contrition we say at the end of every Confession.

We are to avoid near occasions to sin. End of story. That’s the moral issue.
 
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Great post except for the end:
MNathaniel said:
If he wants to spend more time with you in a chaste way, why not offer a counter-suggestion of going for a daytime picnic in a park? But no secluded night-times alone in the woods.
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A daytime picnic is just as bad as camping out at night.
 
MNathaniel said:
The OP reports that the man has directly told her he is potentially interested in being a husband but not a father.
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I didn’t know about that. You have to be open to having children if you get married.
 
CRM_Brother said:
I apologize if my disagreement with you has triggered your ire to the point where you have not taken my posts within the full context which I present them.
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You have also baffled me and triggered my ire, but I don’t have a lot of time to argue, especially when it seems you must have the last word.
 
That’s my point.

There may or may not be people around depending on the location.
 
I was thinking about this thread and it occurred to me that this a very similar situation to the one that got Father Logan in trouble before he became a priest in “I Confess”.
 
Since it’s in Sept and in the off season, there may not be many campers. With less people around, you really are more vulnerable.

My husband and I went across country visiting his family and were returning home, camping along the way, along the Great Lakes. It was terribly windy but we decided to camp in a camp ground and pick a spot with thick trees. After the Labour Day weekend, no one was around at all. This may sound like a ghost story but in the middle of the night, we heard boots walking up the gravel, past our car, right up to the tent. I honestly thought, this is it, someone with bad intentions found an easy mark. There wasn’t a sound after that. The only way out would have been on the same gravel that they walked in to our camp site. I honestly wish to ask God if angels picked up a bad person and dropped him somewhere else.

Off season, few people around, leaves you very vulnerable. If I had 2 daughters wanting to camp now, I would advise them to find something else to do. I certainly would not encourage an unmarried woman to go camping to get to know a guy friend better. It may sound far fetched, until it isn’t. It’s like making the decision to park your car under a street light instead of down a dark back lane. Probably nothing will happen but don’t make it easy for the bad guy.
 
IIRC, @27lw was referring to the part of I Confess where Fr. Logan (Montgomery Clift) is remembering what his life was before he entered the seminary.
 
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rc_trad said:
If we were to go together, we would absolutely share different tents but being out there in the dark at night and secluded is it a bad idea?
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It sounds like both of you are on the same page about this. I don’t see a problem with it if you are comfortable with it. It seems like you are comfortable with it. So I don’t think it’s a bad idea. It seems like a good opportunity to get reacquainted.
 
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