Is is ever ok to leave the Catholic Church?

[LoverofChrist]

My sister left the Catholic Church when she and her husband married several years ago. Her husband had been married before and refused to have the marraige annuled because he said he married the first time for the right reasons but that his first wife ended the marraige. Because of this, my sister wanted to raise their children in a religiously unified home and so became Lutheran. This has really bothered me. My mom told me she read in a book somewhere that when it was for the benefit of the family and when the spouse refused to convert, then it was okay to leave the Catholic Church. I really have a problem with this and can’t believe that it is true!!! I also really feel that I need to talk to her about getting back to the Catholic Church. Does anyone have any thoughts on this? This has really been on my heart lately!

 

[po18guy]

Since the Catholic church retains the fullness of Christianity, the fullness of truth, and has the Body and Blood of Christ, there is no justifiable reason to leave it. Since Christ is present in the tabernacle, just whom are you walking away from? The Martyrs didn’t leave it. They died for it. Proper catechesis is undoubtedly most of the problem. I am waiting for Patrick Madrid’s book “Search and Rescue”. I have heard it is excellent, and he is one of my favorite apologists.

We are surrounded by fallen away Catholics…
Largest church in the world? Catholic. Second largest? Fallen away Catholic. How sad is that? I seek to change it, one soul at a time. Read and pray over this. Approach her with love. Set the example of patience and charity. The Lord gave her eyes and ears for a reason.

Peace and prayers be with you.

 

[Other_Eric]

Simply put, it is only OK to leave the Church if you’ve found something better than Christ’s truth and the prospect of an eternity of torture and agony does not faze you. There is no excuse I can conceive that does not boil down to gross presumption and the vanity thinking oneself smarter that the Holy Spirit.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

My sister left the Catholic Church when she and her husband married several years ago. Her husband had been married before and refused to have the marraige annuled because he said he married the first time for the right reasons but that his first wife ended the marraige. Because of this, my sister wanted to raise their children in a religiously unified home and so became Lutheran. This has really bothered me. My mom told me she read in a book somewhere that when it was for the benefit of the family and when the spouse refused to convert, then it was okay to leave the Catholic Church. I really have a problem with this and can’t believe that it is true!!! I also really feel that I need to talk to her about getting back to the Catholic Church. Does anyone have any thoughts on this? This has really been on my heart lately!

It’s never “OK” to abandon the True Faith for a less than perfect one or worse yet a false one. Many Catholics simply don’t know what this “Catholic” faith is, and therefore don’t really realize what they are giving up and how it just may effect their Eternal salvation. Most simply want to be happy here and now and do not think what their actions mean for them in Eternity.

 

[FightingFat]

God’s truth is God sized, it’s not man sized, so it is often a struggle, you know, like Jacob wrestles with God in the desert. Faith is like that. We wrestle with God, the way a father wrestles with his children- to make them stronger.

Because of the size of the truth of life, the universe and everything, people often get dismayed. Why is it so complicated? Why can’t I ever seem to learn everything?

Truth is it would be pretty boring if we could put Catholic truth in a box and pull it out whenever something tough happened for an immeadiate answer. The deposit of faith is a living, breathing, organic synthesis of faith deposited by Jesus Christ- the WORD of God made flesh, with his Apostles and held in integrity by the Holy Spirit within the Church God founded.

When we come across something we don’t get, it is because we have not undertood it as a part of this unity of faith. The truth is like a symphony. If you are only listening to the brass section, you’re not going to get much of an idea about the full composition. And above all, charity and love must lead the way!

Proper catechesis is undoubtedly most of the problem.

So true! :clapping:

Peace and prayers be with you.

And also with you brother!

 

[chrysostom15]

Your mom heard wrong. It is completely not acceptable to convert because the person one is committing adultry with doesn’t want to marry her.

If he wanted to marry her, he would have gotten the annulment.

 

[bilop]

Short answer No.

God Bless

 

[LoverofChrist]

I know that what my sister did was wrong. I know she truly believed she was doing the right thing for her marraige even though we know that she was wrong. My mom told me that she read that it was ok in the book “Christ Among Us”. I have read and reread the section on interfaith marraiges and I don’t get out of it what she did. Now, how do I talk to my sister without alienating her and getting her to understand that she needs to come back to the church?

 

[buffalo]

Nope. To those who have been given more more is expected. One who has learned the truth cannot turn from it.

 

[stbruno]

People want to believe that “political correctness” or their personal interpretation of our Catholic faith is more important than what the Church truly espouses…which is stay united to Christ through your faith by following His commandments and the laws set down by the Church.

Pray for your sister and her family. Only she can make a change. I am trying to get my godchild to marry in our faith, but instead she is marrying outside of it this fall…by a justice of the peace…and is so angry with me that she has taken back her invitation to her wedding because I have been telling her that she willl not be able to receive any sacraments unless she gets her marriage convalidated or even given a dispensation from canonical form and be married in the Rabbinic faith of which her fiance is part of. And I am worried about her being distanced from God. More reasons to pray.

 

[1ke]

My mom told me she read in a book somewhere that when it was for the benefit of the family and when the spouse refused to convert, then it was okay to leave the Catholic Church.

Your mother is seriously confused.

I really have a problem with this and can’t believe that it is true!!!

Smart you.

I also really feel that I need to talk to her about getting back to the Catholic Church. Does anyone have any thoughts on this? This has really been on my heart lately!

Well, your sister’s invalid marriage is an impediment to her return to the Sacraments. Unless she ceases relations with her husband, or he applies for and receives a decree of nullity, she cannot go to Confession.

However, that doesn’t mean she cannot go to Mass.

Has she mentioned any desire to return to the Church? Sounds like her faith didn’t mean very much to her to start with, if she hooked up with a divorced man and left the church so readily for him.

 

[1ke]

I know that what my sister did was wrong. I know she truly believed she was doing the right thing for her marraige even though we know that she was wrong. My mom told me that she read that it was ok in the book “Christ Among Us”. I have read and reread the section on interfaith marraiges and I don’t get out of it what she did.

Tell your mom to go ask her priest the answer to the question. That book “Christ Among Us” has reviews on a couple of websites that indicate it is full of errors.

Now, how do I talk to my sister without alienating her and getting her to understand that she needs to come back to the church?

If she hasn’t indicated a desire to return, I don’ t know that you can talk to her without alienating her.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

I know that what my sister did was wrong. I know she truly believed she was doing the right thing for her marraige even though we know that she was wrong. My mom told me that she read that it was ok in the book “Christ Among Us”. I have read and reread the section on interfaith marraiges and I don’t get out of it what she did. Now, how do I talk to my sister without alienating her and getting her to understand that she needs to come back to the church?

That book had it’s imprimatur removed by Rome because of errors many years back.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

Your mother is seriously confused.

Smart you.

Well, your sister’s invalid marriage is an impediment to her return to the Sacraments. Unless she ceases relations with her husband, or he applies for and receives a decree of nullity, she cannot go to Confession.

However, that doesn’t mean she cannot go to Mass.

Has she mentioned any desire to return to the Church? Sounds like her faith didn’t mean very much to her to start with, if she hooked up with a divorced man and left the church so readily for him.

Remember that ceasing relations and continuing to live together as husband and wife is only an option when there is a serious reason and need to continue to do so like the care and support of children. Otherwise the two people would be expected to live apart until the matter is resolved.

 

[JudieK]

Here’s a different twist on this question:

Do you think God sometimes allows you take a break from the Catholic Church for awhile in order to get to know Him in a different way in a Protestant Church, only to return later with a greater appreciation and hunger for His holy Catholic Church? I ask not for myself, but for some friends of mine who were Catholic in name only- took none of it to heart- lived as the world lives. They went to Church only to send their kids to the school at a discount. I tried- I gave them all I had- but it fell on deaf ears. They were not ready or open to even discuss the theology of the Truth.

Then- BOOM! They get invited to a non-denom church- that has BALLROOM DANCING for couples, and bounce houses for the kids, and every kind of fellowshipping thing you can think of. Now, miraculously, they talk openly about Jesus- their prayer life, etc. Their marriage has improved 1000%- she no longer challenges him on everything, but “submits to him in all things.” The difference is remarkable. I don’t want to jump in and say- “Yes, BUT…” Actually, I have tried- I gave one last impassioned plea about knowing what you are leaving behind (the eucharist) and what you are replacing it with (bounce houses and ballroom dancing)- but it didn’t work. Now I look like a religious snob and intolerant, ect. So I wonder, maybe they needed this detour to just get them interested, and then, in a while, maybe that interest will lead them right back home. Heck- I started out Protestant and fell in love with Jesus THERE. Maybe in this case, it’s OK? Their priest was very unkind and unwelcoming to them while Catholic. They married outside the Church, and he made no invitations to help them regularize the marriage. Instead, he just forbade them from receiving communion. I feel this approach kind of “pushed” them out the door.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

Here’s a different twist on this question:

Do you think God sometimes allows you take a break from the Catholic Church for awhile in order to get to know Him in a different way in a Protestant Church, only to return later with a greater appreciation and hunger for His holy Catholic Church? I ask not for myself, but for some friends of mine who were Catholic in name only- took none of it to heart- lived as the world lives. They went to Church only to send their kids to the school at a discount. I tried- I gave them all I had- but it fell on deaf ears. They were not ready or open to even discuss the theology of the Truth.

Then- BOOM! They get invited to a non-denom church- that has BALLROOM DANCING for couples, and bounce houses for the kids, and every kind of fellowshipping thing you can think of. Now, miraculously, they talk openly about Jesus- their prayer life, etc. Their marriage has improved 1000%- she no longer challenges him on everything, but “submits to him in all things.” The difference is remarkable. I don’t want to jump in and say- “Yes, BUT…” Actually, I have tried- I gave one last impassioned plea about knowing what you are leaving behind (the eucharist) and what you are replacing it with (bounce houses and ballroom dancing)- but it didn’t work. Now I look like a religious snob and intolerant, ect. So I wonder, maybe they needed this detour to just get them interested, and then, in a while, maybe that interest will lead them right back home. Heck- I started out Protestant and fell in love with Jesus THERE. Maybe in this case, it’s OK? Their priest was very unkind and unwelcoming to them while Catholic. They married outside the Church, and he made no invitations to help them regularize the marriage. Instead, he just forbade them from receiving communion. I feel this approach kind of “pushed” them out the door.

I personally think that the only reason for a person to consider leaving the Catholic Church is to follow the promptings and temptations of satan. Like a wolf trying to separate a single animal from the herd.

 

[Mt_28_19_20]

That book had it’s imprimatur removed by Rome because of errors many years back.

Hello Br. Rich,

 It that true, the book had an imprimatur granted by someone in the Church authorized to do so, and then removed by someone  in the Church authorized to do so?

Michael

 

[DebChris]

I am the sure the question about whether or not it is ok to leave the Church is the right question, although I also do not know how better to ask it. St. Paul speaks about the Body of Christ. Even denying membership in the body does not remove our membership within the body. In other words, once a Catholic always a Catholic.
Some of the great saints of history questioned Catholic teachings and wandered after other interests. In their questioning they returned to Christ with a greater love and yearning than they had ever experienced in the past.
I do not want to misrepresent what I read in one of the earlier posts. For whatever reason the couple did not feel nourished, especially in their marital relationship, by the Catholic Church. Within the activity (Ballroom dance, etc.) of another Church, they have become closer to one another. We may believe that with their now closer walk with each other that they are better able to hear the voice of God calling to them. They may also find the busyness in which they are involved distracts from their true calling, sensing a need for quiet to better hear what God wants from them individually and collectively as a couple. They may discover that He speaks in a still soft voice that calls them back to Mother Church.
God may allow ( this is not a statement of right or wrong) a person to leave the Catholic Church for a period of time. Let the prodigal son, he/she returns with a greater love of the Sacraments and Church teachings than he/she could ever have imagined.

 

[JudieK]

God may allow ( this is not a statement of right or wrong) a person to leave the Catholic Church for a period of time. Let the prodigal son, he/she returns with a greater love of the Sacraments and Church teachings than he/she could ever have imagined.

That’s kindof what I was thinking… letting them go for awhile, to increase their appreciation for what they had all along.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

Hello Br. Rich,

It that true, the book had an imprimatur granted by someone in the Church authorized to do so, and then removed by someone in the Church authorized to do so?

Michael

Yes, it had a local Bishops imprimatur and later it was reviewed by the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith and after this review the local Imprimatur was revoked. Which should have prohibited any further printing.