Is it allowable to use NFP in order to have no child?

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What I feel is a mixture of happiness, anxiety, fear for the future and gratitude.

I’m happy because I DO want children. I am anxious because there are so many unknowns. Right now we aren’t in an ideal situation for children (we aren’t destitute either though). I’m afraid because labor is freaking scary. I’m grateful because many, many, many women in my family have been unable to have children and I see their pain and their grieif because of it and I am grateful God blessed us.

If you truly can’t understand why a child would bring joy, then I do think you probably aren’t called to the vocation of marriage.
 
What I feel is a mixture of happiness, anxiety, fear for the future and gratitude.

I’m happy because I DO want children. I am anxious because there are so many unknowns. Right now we aren’t in an ideal situation for children (we aren’t destitute either though). I’m afraid because labor is freaking scary. I’m grateful because many, many, many women in my family have been unable to have children and I see their pain and their grieif because of it and I am grateful God blessed us.

If you truly can’t understand why a child would bring joy, then I do think you probably aren’t called to the vocation of marriage.
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Thank you for your reply!

I wish that you will have a good child and be happy with him or her!

For me, I can understand how a child can bring some joy, but I can’t understand how a child can bring much joy. Perhaps I am not called to the vocation of marriage? Maybe yes, and maybe no. Anyway, thank you for your reply!
 
You’ll figure it out. 🙂 When I was younger I used to not want kids. I thought they were icky and seemed like too much work!!! ROFL!

Sometimes we change as we age. Sometimes we don’t. And it’s okay. No matter what vocation you’re called to, no vocation is higher than another IMHO.
 
goout said:
Let me also point out the error here.
There is a difference between objective sin and the culpability before God for that sin. A poorly formed conscience does not excuse the sinfulness of an action.

Seriously, this lame moral thinking is responsible for perhaps more evil than anything else.
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AMEN! I Do and we SHOULD so believe

Patrick
 
So what do you tell people in desperately poor countries who use contraceptives because they cannot afford to keep having children…that they are commiting a sin…that it’s Gods will they keep having children…if two thirds of them die through malnutrition then it must also be Gods will??..it’s not such an easy answer for millions throughout the world
 
Peebo said:
So what do you tell people in desperately poor countries who use contraceptives because they cannot afford to keep having children…that they are commiting a sin…that it’s Gods will they keep having children…if two thirds of them die through malnutrition then it must also be Gods will??..it’s not such an easy answer for millions throughout the world
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If you don’t want babies don’t engage in acts that make babies. Not easy but it’s certainly not a case of use contraception or have loads of children.
 
Simplistic answer…you don’t preach the gospel to a starving person…you feed that person first…you don’t preach sin to desperately poor uneducated people…you first reach out to them and help them…then you can teach them the gospel
 
Okay, on the one hand I understand what you’re saying but on the other contraception sells a lie… the lie that sex can be sterile. Contraception is not 100% effective. In fact, most women who use the pill use it incorrectly and are at risk of pregnancy. The trouble is they think they aren’t and make choices that might not make otherwise because they believe they can’t get pregnant.

To me contraception is a bit like treating the symptom instead of the disease. More than that, it’s treating the symptom and lying about the symptom while you’re at it.

What IS the right solution for third world countries where people are starving to death?

Fixing the underlying issue. Why are they starving? How do we help them get to a point where they can provide for themselves?

You have to remember many of those cultures see children FAR differently than we do. Telling them not to have children isn’t a solution, and it, in some cases, is an offensive thing to suggest. So the chances of converting them to a contraceptive mentality is actually quite slim which raises the risk of the contraceptives being used incorrectly.
 
somecanadian

5m

Okay, on the one hand I understand what you’re saying but on the other contraception sells a lie… the lie that sex can be sterile. Contraception is not 100% effective. In fact, most women who use the pill use it incorrectly and are at risk of pregnancy. The trouble is they think they aren’t and make choices that might not make otherwise because they believe they can’t get pregnant.

To me contraception is a bit like treating the symptom instead of the disease. More than that, it’s treating the symptom and lying about the symptom while you’re at it.

What IS the right solution for third world countries where people are starving to death?

Fixing the underlying issue. Why are they starving? How do we help them get to a point where they can provide for themselves?

You have to remember many of those cultures see children FAR differently than we do. Telling them not to have children isn’t a solution, and it, in some cases, is an offensive thing to suggest. So the chances of converting them to a contraceptive mentality is actually quite slim which raises the risk of the contraceptives being used incorrectly.
Indeed…and many of them have children regardless that most of them will die…because they have no Social Security in their old age…so they expect their children to look after them
 
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NFP is not something you use, but a method of spacing intercourse during infertile times (or even fertile times to conceive). It is not deliberately prohibiting conception, but reducing the likelihood based on the God given cycle of a woman.

A grave reason is not necessary. But often is responsible parenting within licit means.
 
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I have a related question:

If two spouses don’t use any method to control giving birth (no NFP, no contraceptive, etc), then, how many children will they usually have in total?
 
I always wanted to be married. I never and still don’t have a deep desire for children. I don’t think it’s the case that every single woman with a vocation for marriage has an inbuilt desire for children. I could honestly take them or leave them although I do like children. However to be obedient as a married Catholic woman I need to be open to life so when we move I am starting NFP. I’m really scared but God won’t give me anything I can’t handle. It’s all good and I know I will love a child sent my way I just won’t lose any sleep if it doesn’t happen. No pun intended. We’re all made uniquely
 
My grandparents weren’t Catholic. They also didn’t use birth control of NFP. They had 16 children on one side and 13 on the other. BUT my one grandma was married at 14 and the other at 17.

I know another Catholic couple who didn’t use NFP. They got married in their 30s and had 9 live children and 13 miscarriages, so 22 pregnancies.
 
someone429 was curious what would happen if one never used NFP at all. The above examples are my experience with those who never used NFP or birth control.

Not sure if it’s excessive. In a way it’s kind of fun to have over 20 aunts and uncles. In another way … I never knew any of them closely so it kind of creates division within a family.
 
I really like your posts somecanadian I feel like we are on a very similar wavelength x
 
I guess what I mean is unless you’re a rich man I don’t see how someone could provide for that many mouths
 
Oh yeah! They were poor immigrants. My mom grew up with basically rice only as a diet. So you’re right. I don’t really understand how they all survived.

My dad, however, grew up in the far north country. His family stayed fed because they were all hunters and they lived in an area abundant with wildlife.
 
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