Is it bad that I don't take part in the sign of peace?

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At the Latin Mass we don’t do it and I don’t feel comfortable in the Novus Ordo Mass so I skip it plus I’m scared of germs!
 
Being immune suppressed, I wear mask and gloves at mass. It seems that folks think I’m radioactive, as they keep their distance. I generally nod a sign of peace - it need not be physical contact. But, Saint Paul teaches that we all part parts of Christ’s Body in 1 Corinthians 12, thus we need each other. However, discussing family or sports scores goes way beyond the pale.
 
These threads always remind me of two things. One the theme of the 2012 Eucharistic Congress, if my memory is correct was Communion with Christ and with one another. We are called to worship as a community and both the sign and it’s place in the Mass seem appropriate.

However I am from a culture where shaking hands is the usual sign of peace and have been to Masses where it is a kiss. The people seem to understand that shaking hands is more comfortable for me.

In other words I don’t think ignoring it is appropriate. However others should be willing to accept that not everyone will be comfortable with their preferred sign and accomodate.
 
I believe that GIRM states that the Sign of Peace should be made in a sober manner only to those nearest to you and that the CDW issued a letter saying that people ought not to leave their pews during the Sign of Peace.

I think that perhaps the Sign of Peace gets confused with being a gesture of welcome, fellowship and friendship and this is perhaps part of the issue.
 
Thomasbradley312 said:
As for the Sign of Peace, I have nothing against it in theory, but I’ve had some bad experiences. A woman always leaves her pew and begins walking across the aisles hugging people. There’s kids who give me a high five or give the peace sign and go peaaaaceeee . I mean is this really what coming into communion is about?
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I’ve had some bad experiences too.

I’ve been to a church were the people grew with each other and they pretty much froze out those that didn’t grow up with them and attended the same schools they did. Comes the sign of peace they ignored everyone but those in their social circle. This church had the reputation around town of being a snobby country club where the parishioners were not only cliquey but also affluent. I was able to find my own circle of friends in that church and my experience gradually improved.
 
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I dread the sign of peace every Mass. But i go along with it because Father had told us to do it and because even though I have social awkwardness seeping out of every pore of my body at that particular moment of time, I realize at least intellectually that these are the people I’m about to be sharing the greatest feast of all with and I may want to show some Christian kindness and fellowship towards them.
 
Frankie65 said:
It’s a recent innovation.
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Nope. Monks have been doing it for ages. At High Mass, it was reserved only for clergy and visiting royalty, but was done.

What is more recent, is for the whole assembly to do it. Unlike the past, the Church considers that every human, ordained or not, royalty or not, has equal dignity in the eyes of God.

Yes it can be a little messy in some places. So be it. It would seem that in the past, the Church favoured form over substance and excluded the populo barbaro in the pews for reasons of liturgical purity.
 
OraLabora said:
So be it. It would seem that in the past, the Church favoured form over substance and excluded the populo barbaro in the pews for reasons of liturgical purity.
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Yes I’m pretty concerned with liturgical purity as should we all.
 
Thomasbradley312 said:
Yes I’m pretty concerned with liturgical purity as should we all.
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Up to a point. At our abbey, and in most of our parishes, the sign of the peace is brief and orderly. Not too disruptive. And the tools are there to enforce brevity. At the abbey this is done by the cantor intoning the Agnus Dei. We can’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good.

For places where it is more disruptive… what can I say. The answer is discipline, not removing this important sign. Around here (other than in viral outbreaks) the only place I’ve seen it skipped is at 7 am Mass at St. Joseph’s oratory in Montreal, likely because it is a big church, and at that hour people are sparsely distributed in the pews, making the sign of peace awkward.
 
Almost every parish I’ve been to just quitely handshakes the people adjacent to them on all sides, sometimes a nod or a little wave, and then once the Agnus Dei begins they stop and focus on the altar.

How common is it for the SOP to be a big commotion with everyone leaving their spot in the pew, let alone their pew?
 
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Wesrock said:
Almost every parish I’ve been to just quitely handshakes the people adjacent to them on all sides, sometimes a nod or a little wave, and then once the Agnus Dei begins they stop and get back to mass.

How common is it for the SOP to be a big commotion with everyone leaving their spot in the pew, let alone their pew?
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I’ve been to several churches and the SOP was a quiet understated affair. No leaving of the pews.
 
Thomasbradley312 said:
I just don’t like this and stopped participating
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As others have said, you are far from the only one. I am extremely uncomfortable with it and seldom participate. In fact, because I’'m not Catholic and can’t take communion anyway, I generally slip out just after the Lord’s Prayer. I’ve noticed I’m not the only one doing that either.
 
That’s exactly what we do in most of the churches here in Taiwan. We don’t leave the pew, we don’t shake hands (since it’s not part of our culture), we smile and slightly bow to each other in an orderly fashion: 1st, both sides of the pew facing one another then bow gently. 2nd, bow to the one seated right next to you. 3rd, do the same to the one in front of you. Lastly, to the one behind you. Then proceed to the Agnus Dei…But don’t just stand there and do nothing, people will perceive you as being arrogant, snobbish, rude, and even barbaric, at times.

It’s okay not to bow, but smile, at the very least.
 
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St.Bede said:
But don’t just stand there and do nothing, people will perceive you as being arrogant, snobbish, rude, and even barbaric, at times.
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There is a lady in my parish who does just that. Just stares stonily ahead during the SOP, not looking at anyone or acknowledging anyone.

Just stares straight ahead.

Doesn’t bother me because truth be told I’d rather do the same thing but I force myself to smile and shake people’s hands.
 
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You’ll never know what the person seated next to you is going through in life. Sometimes, your “Mona Lisa” smile and your sincere “Peace be with you” may mean the whole world to them; at the same time, you are able to spread the love of Christ to your fellow brethren. That’s the meaning of “Communion” in its truest sense. Peace be with you. :blush:Smile, GOD loves you!
 
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