Is it ok for a gay couple to adopt?

[StCsDavid]

While there are no guarantees in life, who are we as a society to deny a child a mother or a father. To say that the unique gifts that each gender brings to the table is not important in a child’s development is a form of turning humanity into a commodity.

The other thing I’ve observed, is that the motive for adoption by gay couples seems to be egocentric. They want the child out of a sense of entitlement. It’s something that legitimizes their disordered relationship. That’s not to say that heterosexual couples can’t sometime be guilty of that themselves, but it seems to be more the rule than the exception with gay couples.

 

[crohnie4life]

how come Rosie O’Donnell is able to adopt kids? I mean, yes, money does talk, and many people like her (I don’t ) and feel she’s a great role model.In my opinion, she’s selfish, self centered (you can’t buy friendship by giving away things but some ppl are that way), and anti Catholic. Plus, she likes to start fights w/other celebrities (Donald Trump, Paula Abdul, to name a few).

How is that setting an example for her children? I really feel sorry for them because they will never know about Jesus until hopefully they are of age and can make decisions for themselves.

 

[Catholic_Dude]

The other thing I’ve observed, is that the motive for adoption by gay couples seems to be egocentric. They want the child out of a sense of entitlement. **It’s something that legitimizes their disordered relationship. **That’s not to say that heterosexual couples can’t sometime be guilty of that themselves, but it seems to be more the rule than the exception with gay couples.

That is a very good obeservation and makes perfect sense.

 

[mary_bobo]

It seems to me that instead of supporting the idea that gay couples shouldn’t adopt children because the children will face a lot of discrimination, we should put our efforts into working to eliminate that discrimination.

That argument was used by my grandparents to oppose inter-racial marriages. They thought the children would be discriminated against because they wouldn’t be accepted by any group. They were also very opposed to the civil rights movement.

Why should gay couples automatically face discrimination by saying they would be poor parents. I personally know of two gay couples; both are top notch people who would make fine parents.

To take an idea from Martin Luther King Junior. People should not be judged by the color of their skin (or sexual orientation) but by the content of their character. Coretta Scott King continued her husband’s legacy in her support of gay and lesbian rights.

Tu Amigo, Pablo

Your thoughts are idealistic, indeed. But gays adopting children is not the optimum way to go. Until such time as we live in a perfect world, discrimination is going to happen.

 

[iceman]

The problem I have with this line of thinking is that it makes no mention of the heterosexual households where there is alcohol, violence, adultery etc. It is aoutmatically assumed that being gay = being abusive. That is so not fair.
Kathy

Those households in which children are exposed to alcohol, violence and adultery are very unhealthy for children and one hopes that the dynamics within such households will change or can be changed for the betterment of the family as a whole. The dynamics of homosexual behavior are intrinsically destructive to the individuals involved and to vulnerable children in the home who are being conditioned to consider such behavior normal and healthy. Heterosexual households may have problems with some of the dynamics within but the social structure is morally and socially healthy and sound for children’s development. Homosexual households are structurally unnatural, immoral and therefore unsound and therefore are destructive to children’s development irrespective of other dynamis occuring within the household…

 

[Riley259]

No, it’s not ok for a gay couple to adopt and there are good, rational reasons for it. See this link for an excellent summary of why it is ultimately harmful to children:

marriagedebate.com/pdf/MothersFathersMatter.pdf

 

[pablo_rafael]

I don’t think it is ever right for a church to support discrimination against minority groups. When a church body supports discrimnation, it needs to take a good look at itself. These words have come up in this thread.
“fornication and immoral behavior”
“intrinsically destructive”
“egocentric”
Are these exclusive characteristics of gay couples? It seems that we are taking a big brush and painting all gays as morally depraved. I agree some are, but to apply those term to the entire group is unfair.

To deny marriage to gay couples and then to call their relationship depraved or their actions fornication seems to me outright discrimination. Too many people have been marginalized and oppresed in the name of religion.

My brother and his partner are a gay couple. They are a loving, monogamous, lifelong couple. The only reason they are not married is because they live in a place where gay marriages are not allowed. You could not ask for a person with more kindness, compassion and devotion than my brother. Unfortunately he no longer goes to church because the church rejected him. I think it is time to welcome all God’s people back into the fold.

I know, you don’t have to tell me. I’m not in compliance with church teaching. I’m not the most “obedient” Catholic I’m afraid. But I feel church teaching on this issue is in error.

Tu Amigo, Pablo

 

[Marilena]

I asked this question on the Ask an Apologist forums, but I wanted your thoughts as well.

I was recently discussing with someone whether or not it is ok for gay parents to adopt children. Despite the fact that we both agree that two gays shouldn’t be a couple in the first place, this other person believes it’s the lesser of the two evils that a child be adopted, as a last resort, rather than to have the child grow up in abusive foster homes. Is there a Church teaching on the matter? Is there anything I can read?

i most certainly think that gay couples should not adopt chidlren. children need 2 parents from the traditional marriage of one man and one woman. do you not think that a gay couple raising children would give that child an unbalanced view of the traditional marriage? how can it be wholesome for a child of gay couples to grow up in that environment? what are the chances that the gay couple would ever introduce that child to Jesus? in God’s eyes, the relationship of the couple is an abomination, and so it will always be.

 

[Riley259]

I don’t think it is ever right for a church to support discrimination against minority groups. When a church body supports discrimnation, it needs to take a good look at itself. These words have come up in this thread.
“fornication and immoral behavior”
“intrinsically destructive”
“egocentric”
Are these exclusive characteristics of gay couples? It seems that we are taking a big brush and painting all gays as morally depraved. I agree some are, but to apply those term to the entire group is unfair.

To deny marriage to gay couples and then to call their relationship depraved or their actions fornication seems to me outright discrimination. Too many people have been marginalized and oppresed in the name of religion.

My brother and his partner are a gay couple. They are a loving, monogamous, lifelong couple. The only reason they are not married is because they live in a place where gay marriages are not allowed. You could not ask for a person with more kindness, compassion and devotion than my brother. Unfortunately he no longer goes to church because the church rejected him. I think it is time to welcome all God’s people back into the fold.

I know, you don’t have to tell me. I’m not in compliance with church teaching. I’m not the most “obedient” Catholic I’m afraid. But I feel church teaching on this issue is in error.

Tu Amigo, Pablo

The Church has stated clear, rational, and theological reasons why gay marriage is wrong. Being an obedient Catholic is not a bad thing - in fact, it’s the opposite: It’s good!! Submitting yourself to the will of God is the most loving thing that you can do. In case you didn’t realize, the Catholic church’s teachings are expressing the will of God because they’re all informed by the Holy Spirit (which is what Christ promised they would be). The Church is definitely not in error on this issue because it has the authority to teach on issues like this. If you don’t believe this, then perhaps you should re-evaluate your reasons why you are Catholic. There’s plenty of liberal, “progressive” churches out there that will accept your ideas with open arms…but, the Church will never change on this issue because it can’t change the truth.

 

[thistle]

I know, you don’t have to tell me. I’m not in compliance with church teaching. I’m not the most “obedient” Catholic I’m afraid. But I feel church teaching on this issue is in error.

Tu Amigo, Pablo

Sorry but YOU are wrong. The Church CANNOT be in error in matters of faith and morals.

 

[estesbob]

I asked this question on the Ask an Apologist forums, but I wanted your thoughts as well.

I was recently discussing with someone whether or not it is ok for gay parents to adopt children. Despite the fact that we both agree that two gays shouldn’t be a couple in the first place, this other person believes it’s the lesser of the two evils that a child be adopted, as a last resort, rather than to have the child grow up in abusive foster homes. Is there a Church teaching on the matter? Is there anything I can read?

The lesser of two evils is still evil. Your ffriends example also assumes that those who enage in homosexual behavior only adopt children from abusive foster homes. A strawman if ever i saw one.

As Catholics we really dont have to wrestle with this. Our Church has spoken a decalred this is wrong.

 

[estesbob]

That argument was used by my grandparents to oppose inter-racial marriages. They thought the children would be discriminated against because they wouldn’t be accepted by any group. They were also very opposed to the civil rights movement.

Surely you are not suggesting their is an equivalence between a people who were bought to this country in chains, enslaed, raped, beaten ,sold at will and discrimated against for 450 year to a group of people who’s only distinguishing chracteristic is the manner in which they engage in sex.?

To take an idea from Martin Luther King Junior. People should not be judged by the color of their skin (or sexual orientation) but by the content of their character. Coretta Scott King continued her husband’s legacy in her support of gay and lesbian rights.

Tu Amigo, Pablo

Martin Luther King, Jr. condemend homosexual behavior as do most Black clergymen to day. In fact most Blacks are incensed that those who enage in homosexual behavior ,try and make a compariosn between their “cause” and the struggles Blacks went through to gain equaility. They understand, as most of us do, that sodomy does not equal race.

 

[iceman]

I don’t think it is ever right for a church to support discrimination against minority groups. When a church body supports discrimnation, it needs to take a good look at itself. These words have come up in this thread.
“fornication and immoral behavior”
“intrinsically destructive”
“egocentric”
Are these exclusive characteristics of gay couples? It seems that we are taking a big brush and painting all gays as morally depraved. I agree some are, but to apply those term to the entire group is unfair.

To deny marriage to gay couples and then to call their relationship depraved or their actions fornication seems to me outright discrimination. Too many people have been marginalized and oppresed in the name of religion.

My brother and his partner are a gay couple. They are a loving, monogamous, lifelong couple. The only reason they are not married is because they live in a place where gay marriages are not allowed. You could not ask for a person with more kindness, compassion and devotion than my brother. Unfortunately he no longer goes to church because the church rejected him. I think it is time to welcome all God’s people back into the fold.

I know, you don’t have to tell me. I’m not in compliance with church teaching. I’m not the most “obedient” Catholic I’m afraid. But I feel church teaching on this issue is in error.

Tu Amigo, Pablo

Pablo,

You have confused your emotional attachment to family with the evaluation of moral conduct necessary for properly raising children. We may like people, even love people, and consider them nice in personality, and want them to be happy. This is an emotional attachment and there is nothing wrong with it. However, it is next to useless in evaluating the conduct of people from a moral perspective particularly as it applies to impact on the vulnerable in our society, in this case children. This requires more intellectual thought which focuses on Truth, Morality, and for our purposes as Catholics, Catholic teaching. The Catholic position on this matter (homosexual adoption) isn’t correct because the Catholic Church teaches it. It is the truth and absolutely correct which is why the Catholic Church teaches it, as God has assigned the Church the responsibility to do.

No one is excluded from the Church. Those who choose to disregard the Truth and openly violate the corresponding moralty which it promotes, exclude themselves from the Faith, and as a result, from the truth.

Concepts such as discrimination, diversity, inclusiveness or a descriptor like “progressive” have no inherent social value, but are dependant on the social value within which they are applied. This is one of the greater deceptions of the present day: promoting neutral concepts as social values for the purpose of morally confusing people. Discrimination is necessary in many aspects of life as we all have free will and make choices which result in the inclusion of some and the exclusion of others. The process has less importance than the standard by which the decision is made (factors used to decide). Diversity (variety) is hardly an asset if thieves, murderers, rapists and child molesters are included as part of the honoured group. The word “progressive” is all too often used these days as a direct substitute for perverted, the purpose being to substitute immoral for moral behavior, ie. to morally confuse poeople.

The Catholic Church stands to remind us of Truth in many areas including moral conduct. Homosexual behavior will always fall outside of this standard.

 

[estesbob]

My brother and his partner are a gay couple. They are a loving, monogamous, lifelong couple. The only reason they are not married is because they live in a place where gay marriages are not allowed. You could not ask for a person with more kindness, compassion and devotion than my brother. Unfortunately he no longer goes to church because the church rejected him. I think it is time to welcome all God’s people back into the fold.

I

This is a perfect example of how our sin can negatively effect so many others others. Your Brother is engageing in sinful behavior which in turn has cuaused you to reject teachings of your Church and validate his behavior. Either the Church is right in all matters of faith and Morals or its not. if it not the Catholic Church is a sham and we should all start looking for another Church.

 

[pablo_rafael]

I appreciate all of the comment made by the previous posters and respect your dedication to the Catholic church.

However, I personally disagree. Being a recent convert to the Catholic church also probably has some bearing. I do not accept that the church is right in all things. In fact there are number of issues I disagree with. I think that the church is right in that its teachings are based on the Word of God. Also I feel that no one can understand God perfectly, and our understanding is cloudy this side of eternity. It’s not an “all or nothing” situation for me. I humbly think no church denomination fully understands the ways of God.

I guess this is what separates the “good” Catholics from the “bad” Catholics. You are all the good, faithful ones. And I must be … sigh!

Tu Amigo, Pablo

 

[estesbob]

I appreciate all of the comment made by the previous posters and respect your dedication to the Catholic church.

However, I personally disagree. Being a recent convert to the Catholic church also probably has some bearing. I do not accept that the church is right in all things. In fact there are number of issues I disagree with. I think that the church is right in that its teachings are based on the Word of God. Also I feel that no one can understand God perfectly, and our understanding is cloudy this side of eternity. It’s not an “all or nothing” situation for me. I humbly think no church denomination fully understands the ways of God.

I guess this is what separates the “good” Catholics from the “bad” Catholics. You are all the good, faithful ones. And I must be … sigh!

Tu Amigo, Pablo

Can you tell us which teachings of the Curch we can ignore and which ones we have to follow? It would be helpful for the rest of us who are struggling with following the teachings of the Church. OTH if teachings are up for personjal interpertation why do we neeed a Church?

Of course those are rhetorical question but you should give them some serious thought. you seem to have rejected the teachings of the One True Church becuase of love for your brother. The sad part is you do your brother a great diservice by condoning and enableing his actions. You should be exposing him to the TRUTH. That is what love is all about.

 

[maria_rose]

I don’t think it is ever right for a church to support discrimination against minority groups. When a church body supports discrimnation, it needs to take a good look at itself. These words have come up in this thread.
“fornication and immoral behavior”
“intrinsically destructive”
“egocentric”
Are these exclusive characteristics of gay couples? It seems that we are taking a big brush and painting all gays as morally depraved. I agree some are, but to apply those term to the entire group is unfair.

To deny marriage to gay couples and then to call their relationship depraved or their actions fornication seems to me outright discrimination. Too many people have been marginalized and oppresed in the name of religion.

My brother and his partner are a gay couple. They are a loving, monogamous, lifelong couple. The only reason they are not married is because they live in a place where gay marriages are not allowed. You could not ask for a person with more kindness, compassion and devotion than my brother. Unfortunately he no longer goes to church because the church rejected him. I think it is time to welcome all God’s people back into the fold.

I know, you don’t have to tell me. I’m not in compliance with church teaching. I’m not the most “obedient” Catholic I’m afraid. But I feel church teaching on this issue is in error.

Tu Amigo, Pablo

Pablo,
You have to remember one thing: Love the sinner;condemn the sin.
The church embraces our gay brothers and sisters, but condems the acts as "intrinsically disordered? We have support groups that help them live chaste lives.
You can’t change that fact. you don’t even have to look at it from a religious perspective.
Our bodies are not created for gay relations. We are designed as men and women so we can beget life. that’s the ultimate purpose for our bodies.
Utlizing other orifices can and will bring deseases and worse.
I believe that your brother is a good person ,but his homosexual acts are still sinful…

 

[goofyjim]

Of course it isn’t a good point. The purpose of this discussion is if it is ok for a gay couple to adopt. The answer is no. The answer does not turn to yes because there are also disordered heterosexual families out there. Agencies also try to weed out unfit heterosexual families. A well run orphanage would be better than these options.Can we do better a better job finding suitable living arrangements for children with out parents? Yes, we can and we should!

If you want to learn more about the causes of homosexuality you can do a little reading.There are factors that cause it. There is therapy for it as well. Exposure to something may certainly cause an inclination toward something.This is why we have ratings systems etc.

cathmed.org/publications/homosexuality.htm

www.couragerc.net.

www.narth.com

I have checked these sites and none of those causes fit me. Therefore no therapy would be able to reverse it.

 

[DRIVING_BEAR]

I must confess I am of two minds on this Issue .
First off , my last semester of college because I had a light class load and to make some cash i took a job as a correction’s officer aka prison guard and saw first hand the product of the foster care system. however i also saw every form of homosexuality you can think of. so after much thought I have concluded adoptions should be based on the following
1st choice straight couple
2nd choice straight single parent
3rd foster care if the foster care home is a good one
last homosexual couple only in options 1-3 are not available

 

[ktp]

I’ve resorted to skimming answers, due to things going on around me, but I don’t think anyone’s mentioned that this whole question sets up a false premise.

It assumes a situation that does not exist: that a child WILL grow up in EITHER an abusive foster home or with a loving, caring, kind gay couple.

[There is a philosophical/ debate? term for setting up such a false, nonexistent situation, and forcing someone to choose-- can someone remind me what it is?]

There are thousands, possibly millions, of loving heterosexual couples waiting to adopt. So the real situation is that it’s a choice between placing a child with a loving, married, heterosexual couple, or at best, a loving, kind gay couple.

At worst, this question ignores the fact that a gay couple is just as likely as a heterosexual couple to be bad parents (even setting aside the poor moral example they’re setting).

I am reminded of the ‘devout Catholic’ gay men who had quadruplets by a surrogate mother. They were touted as the supreme, loving parents to end all parents, so wonderfully devoted to each other, so loving to the children, etc., etc. A few years later, they were planning on getting more children from this surrogate, and we were again told how far above the rest of the human race they are. Not long after that, it turns out one of them was beating the other the whole time.