Is it possible to find a Christian man who doesn’t have a wandering eye?

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I did become self conscious after the “looks” which probably doesn’t help the situation.
 
Either your wife is very secure or she is “mentioning it before you do” as some sort of defence mechanism perhaps?
 
It seems perhaps it is biological part of mans nature.
Maybe there is the occasional man who isn’t this way though.

Is it fair to say that it seems like men sometimes are in two minds they want?
Ie: men state they want a woman who they respect and is modest but then on other hand “respond” to sexiness?
I think is it because they are influenced by movies like superhero girls like Wonderwoman etc of a woman being sexy, alluring, feminine and confident etc?
 
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Rozellelily said:
Ie: men state they want a woman who they respect and is modest but then on other hand “respond” to sexiness?
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I don’t think respectability and modesty exclude a woman being “sexy.” Men are sexually attracted to women they want to be with, they just want them to be respectable and modest in addition to that. I don’t think there is really a dichotomy there.

If you are worried you are unattractive (idk if you feel that way, just in general) you may think all guys desire the kind of women that you aren’t…i.e., you may start to think most guys prefer loose women or skinny women or whatever it is. The truth is, different guys have different preferences. The guy for you will like you for you. That’s what is important.
 
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Rozellelily said:
some sort of defence mechanism perhaps?
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I wish. I had to tell her tonight at the Christmas vigil to stop pointing out all the short skirts.:confused:

To be honest I’d say my wife is insecure about her appearance compared to other woman. I hear that’s common. But I make her secure in my adoration for her, completely. She trusts me and I trust her.
 
When I got married our priest said that it would be natural for both of us to notice other attractive people. I think his exact words were, “You can still look at the menu, you just can’t eat.”

That being said, my husband never checks out other women. Truly. He sees women as people, not scenery for him to enjoy. Men like that are definitely out there!
 
When it comes to marriage, it is not the wandering of the eyes that should be of concern*; it is the wandering of other parts of the body.

*except when it becomes a Matthew 5:27 issue

D
 
Rozellelily said:
For example, I did my Christmas shopping recently and I had a bodysuit on that I didn’t realise till at shops showed a bit of cleavage (unintentionally).
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🧐

During Christmas shopping in public, no less… What did you expect?
 
Well, I wasn’t really aware until the bodysuit started “riding down”. (sorry for the detail).
By that time I was already at the shops.
Tbh, I have seen women wear worse in the workplace with extreme cleavage showing etc.

As an aside, it remind me that recently there were media reports here (Australia) where a presenter named Kerri-Anne Kennerley embarrassed a guest who was wearing a play suit by asking her had she forgot her pants, but this presenter herself wears dresses with major cleavage and even wore a dress with the majority of her bum showing. So I guess people have different ideas/perceptions about what is and isn’t modest.
 
Rozellelily said:
Ie: men state they want a woman who they respect and is modest but then on other hand “respond” to sexiness?
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There is a third option: Men who respect women, consider them equals and do not think that some cleavage or a short skirt is immodest.

There has been so much shaming of women in the Christian world, forcing them to be super self conscious about every thread of their clothing. it amazes me that going shopping wearing a jumpsuit that is something other than a turtleneck is a “thing” to worry about.
 
Most women are very aware of situations concerning women including some women themselves
who … attract attention of some males. .

They all know that any bodysuit especially that which would allow for cleavage is a magnet -

They all know that - like it or not - males are conditioned …
 
EndTimes said:
Most women are very aware of situations concerning women including some women themselves
who … attract attention of some males. .

They all know that any bodysuit especially that which would allow for cleavage is a magnet -

They all know that - like it or not - males are conditioned …
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I really doubt your most men could even tell the difference between a bodysuit and a tank top or t-shirt, unless the woman wearing it takes off her pants. Which I’m presuming isn’t happening in public.

A bodysuit isn’t an inherently tight garment. It can have some advantages because it can’t come untucked like a tank top or t-shirt could. And a tank top under a blouse or low cut top is pretty standard modest women’s wear.

And yes, I have had some tank tops that ended up showing cleavage I didn’t intend to show. I found out on certain brands the straps relax through the day, meaning your top is a lot lower after a few hours than it was when you put it on in the morning.
 
Most women are attracted to these kinds of men - they are the ones considered trophies but unfortunately they are the ones who cheat all the time - there are plenty of men who don’t cheat most women don’t want them - they want the guys that all women want who are the men who cheat. Its all in your choice maybe lower your standard a little and you will find a good man. Stop looking for a trophy husband and he won’t cheat on you.
 
JosephDColeman said:
I don’t think respectability and modesty exclude a woman being “sexy.” Men are sexually attracted to women they want to be with, they just want them to be respectable and modest in addition to that. I don’t think there is really a dichotomy there.
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This is very true! In fact my wife of 36 years (since our marriage-not age wise 😀) only recently told me that she knows what women I find attractive! Apparently she classifies them as “Decent” and if she also added that they are of a similar age to us, she would be 100% correct I expect.
“The truth is, different guys have different preferences. The guy for you will like you for you. That’s what is important.” Exactly!
 
DarkLight said:
I really doubt your most men could even tell the difference between a bodysuit and a tank top or t-shirt, unless the woman wearing it takes off her pants. Which I’m presuming isn’t happening in public.
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For sure…

Then the cops might come and haul her away for indecent or perhaps scarey exposure, eh?

PS - Of course it’s possible to find a Christian man who doesn’t have a wandering eye…

That’s an odd question, innit?

How about them Non-Christian men? :roll_eyes:
 
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TheLittleLady said:
There is a third option: Men who respect women, consider them equals and do not think that some cleavage or a short skirt is immodest.
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Yes! Exactly! My husband is one. He’s a strong believer in women’s rights and equality, and as much as we rail against that on these forums, it definitely prevents him from ogling women.
 
EndTimes said:
Why just Christian?
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EndTimes said:
How about them Non-Christian men?
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I’m not sure if I am reading your question correctly, but presuming I have, I wasn’t meaning to suggest that Christian men somehow have more wandering eye that non Christian men.

It probably would have been more accurate if I had titled the thread “is it possible to find a man who doesn’t have a wandering eye”.
I just mean more is it just biological thing we women have to accept.

What I meant was that ideally, it would be nice to find a husband who had Christian values including faithfulness and contentment.
I don’t necessarily at all “expect” him to be Christian though but just a good man.
 
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