Is it true that it takes a village to raise a child?

[IWantGod]

Is it true that it takes a village to raise a child?

 

[Xanthippe_Voorhees]

For mental health, the answer is yes.

Can you do it without others? Sure, but its very, very difficult.

Small children toddler to prek need to learn to be responsible to, and for, other adults. They need to know that different adults have different opinions and they are to be respected even if it’s silly. They need to learn that there are different rules in different homes…it’s ok for them to wear shoes in one house, but not ok in another.

As they reach grade school they need to learn more complex matters of social understanding. Why Johnny gets to watch a TV show but they can’t…or why they get to watch a TV show Johnny can’t. They need to learn that similar instructions can be given in different ways. IE: Color the elephant and then write your name on the paper or write your name on the top of the paper then color the animal. They need to learn that adults, and children, have different skills, desires, and needs.

In Middle/High School children are really preparing for adulthood. This includes seeking out mentors for themselves–without guidance from their parents. This means other teachers, neighbors, and friends. This means learning that who they choose to hang around determines many of their choices. This means that they take what they’ve learned from the controlled situations their parents have put them in and turned it into a basic approach to navigating the adult world outside their parents house.

In some respect, it means those of us who are adults should look out for other’s children, because children do foolish things.

It means that sometimes parents are adults who make mistakes, or misjudgments and need an outsider to help. For instance, I was riding a high-speed ferry. A man had three children an older girl (maybe 7 or 8) and two little boys (3 and 5 or maybe twins). The little girl was on the back nicely viewing the scenery when she decided it would be a good idea to boost herself up and get a better view. She had been told not to but took advantage of the little ones fighting to disobey. She did a pull-up, her feet came off the deck and she leaned over, as she started slipping off into the propellers, I grabbed her waistband and pulled her back. She started sobbing because she thought I ruined her fun. The father thanked me and then went inside off the observatory deck to punish her for not listening. It was not my job to punish her, but it was my obligation to save her since I was the closest one there.

I would of done the same for an adult, but being a child who was making a poor decision my duty was much, much higher.

 

[1Lord1Faith]

Yes, generally speaking. We are social creatures, and usually do better with the help of others.

But I’d say that it’s point would be better described as a symbiotic relationship, which isn’t really evident in that figure of speech. The village needs to have respect for the child, even when it’s unwanted, in order for the village to stay healthy.

 

[Mark121359]

Is it true that it takes a village to raise a child?

Being that the origin of this particular saying is a mystery, and the fact that it was HRC that made it famous, I myself put absolutely zero stock in it. But that’s just me.

 

[Xanthippe_Voorhees]

IWantGod:

Is it true that it takes a village to raise a child?

Being that the origin of this particular saying is a mystery, and the fact that it was HRC that made it popular, I myself put absolutely zero stock in it. But that’s just me.

Even a broken clock is right twice a day.

Parents should be seeking out other adults for their children to learn from. They don’t have to accept the “village” of their neighborhood but they should be creating a “villiage” of their own.

 

[Gertabelle]

My answer to this is an emphatic yes.

But the key is that the parents get to choose the village that helps them raise their child.

For me, it was:

• my son’s Catholic school community (very small school, and everyone knew everyone)
• Cub Scouts (before they got all weird)
• our parish community, our close friends in the area
• community organizations with which he was involved (choir, summer tech classes, etc.)
• my son’s grandparents when we were able to be together (they live in another state)

We made adjustments as my son grew older – had to switch schools this year, for example – and we are keeping a close eye on this new part of the “village.”

My main point is that the PARENTS should be the ones choosing and keeping a close eye on the village that helps raise their children.

HRC or any other politician I’ve ever heard use that phrase made it sound like the government should be the ones creating the village – super creepy to me (and I’m a public school teacher!).

 

[ConfusedLucy]

Speaking as someone who was only raised by my parents I think I would have really benefitted from having some other adults in my life when coming of age. I really struggled to adapt to early adult life especially socially.

 

[Mark121359]

Parents should be seeking out other adults for their children to learn from.

Yeah sure, Like our education system for instance. We should trust them to educate our children. You know, like how our founding fathers were all racist slave owners, and how our country, namely the U.S. Constitution is a horribly flawed document and needs to be trashed. Oh yes, and how our little 5 yr. old Johnnie or Jennie shouldn’t be afraid to experiment with their gender identity. No. in fact we must encourage them to do so. Yes indeed, it takes a village!

 

[MargaretofCortona]

The

Were you an only child?

 

[Xanthippe_Voorhees]

lol wut?

I didn’t say it must be a public school teacher but depriving a child of adult interaction is wrong. You pick the village but it needs to exist or a child will never meet the demands of an adult world.

 

[Cruciferi]

(Please Note: This uploaded content is no longer available.)

 

[Tis_Bearself]

My main point is that the PARENTS should be the ones choosing and keeping a close eye on the village that helps raise their children.

HRC or any other politician I’ve ever heard use that phrase made it sound like the government should be the ones creating the village – super creepy to me (and I’m a public school teacher!).

Thank you for nicely expressing what has always bugged me about that phrase as well. My interpretation of “it takes a village” is in the sense that the old neighborhoods, parish schools etc used to have a lot of people keeping an eye out for the kids and if they saw a kid in danger, in trouble or doing something bad, they stepped in, helped or reprimanded the kid as needed, and told the kid’s parents who generally then took further action. It did not mean a nanny state with the government sending inspectors to your home or dithering endlessly about school lunches (my elementary and junior high school didn’t even have a cafeteria).

 

[Jerusha]

In a parish discussion group recently, we brought up the case of a single mother struggling with the behavior of her four sons at Mass. She could choose two or three parish members at that Mass to mind several of her kids (separated ). That way, she gets to participate more fully, and fewer people have the opportunity to be irritated or judgmental.

 

[Mark121359]

lol wut?

I didn’t say it must be a public school teacher but depriving a child of adult interaction is wrong. You pick the village but it needs to exist or a child will never meet the demands of an adult world.

And neither did I contend that there shouldn’t be any adult interaction. Read the last two lines of Gertabelle’s post to get to my same point.

 

[Sy_Noe]

Yes no doubt about it.

 

[pianistclare]

Agree wholeheartedly, What I will add, if I may, is that it is a mistake to believe that the “village” can raise your child. In your absence, By being absent at work, by being absent emotionally, by being absent at critical developmental moments.
So much is made about us having it all!
We can’t have it all at once though. Some things still take time and care.
We can’t shelter our kids, and we can’t expect them to be raised by others.

 

[Xanthippe_Voorhees]

Xanthippe_Voorhees:

lol wut?

I didn’t say it must be a public school teacher but depriving a child of adult interaction is wrong. You pick the village but it needs to exist or a child will never meet the demands of an adult world.

And neither did I contend that there shouldn’t be any adult interaction. Read the last two lines of Gertabelle’s post to get to my same point.

Oh, come now. You knew exactly what you were doing when you responded to me the way you did. You were making a petulant response to part of my assertion and taking a quote out of context.

It’s no doubt you were making a mockery of the suggestion that parents need other adults to ensure a healthy development of their children. It is within their control who those people are.

 

[Mark121359]

It’s no doubt you were making a mockery of the suggestion that parents need other adults to ensure a healthy development of their children. It is within their control who those people are.

P.S. And I stand by my statements in my follow up post about the horrible state of affairs in the public school education system.

 

[Xanthippe_Voorhees]

Xanthippe_Voorhees:

It’s no doubt you were making a mockery of the suggestion that parents need other adults to ensure a healthy development of their children. It is within their control who those people are.

Ah, come on now. Anyone who is a parent sees that other adults are needed to ensure healthy development of their children. In my original post to this thread, I clearly focused on HRC. Clearly, she was the sole ire of that post. And it’s becoming increasingly clear to me, that that doesn’t sit well with you!

Like I said, a broken clock is right twice a day.

Just because I don’t like Clinton, doesn’t mean that everything she said was wrong. Her intonation–that one must simply dump children on government workers–was incredibly wrong. But “it takes a village” is a true statement.

Your post was a complete and unnecessary mockery of what I was saying, and completely ignored what I said regarding parents choosing the “villiage” for their child.

You created an entire post mocking my misquoted idea that a village is needed. You took out of context what I said. It’s annoying and incredibly childish to take quotes out of context. Fortunatly, most on here will be intelligent adults and go back to my post where I said parents need to select their villiage and not focus on the utter drivel and mockery that was your out-of-context response.

 

[Mark121359]

Just because I don’t like Clinton, doesn’t mean that everything she said was wrong. Her intonation–that one must simply dump children on government workers–was incredibly wrong. But “it takes a village” is a true statement.

Your post was a complete and unnecessary mockery of what I was saying, and completely ignored what I said regarding parents choosing the “villiage” for their child.

I recall you being the first to reply to my original post to this thread. And as I said, you didn’t like my attack on ole’ Hillary. BTW, you’re defense of Hillary’s quote is less than touching. Have a great day!