Is NFP more of a cross than a blessing to you?

[Xantippe]

I’m currently practicing NFP during my postpartum/breastfeeding period. It is THE hardest thing I have ever done. I’m so unsure of everything, my poor husband doesn’t really understand, I mean all he know is we can hardly have sex. It’s hard!. It is driving me absolutely bananas and I think to myself why are we putting ourselves through this? I’m doing my best to avoid sin, but honestly at some point If it’s my marriage on the line I’m not going to be able to keep it up.

You don’t have to breastfeed. Weaning would restart your cycles within two or so months. Obviously, more breastfeeding is better, but the benefit is largely front-loaded–it’s the initial months that give the most benefit.

When I was breastfeeding my youngest and we were in the same boat (starting around 9 months out), I asked my husband if he wanted me to stop. He didn’t.

You may wish to continue, but bear in mind that you do have at least some control over the situation.

 

[Burt_Macklin]

To answer the original question, NFP has been a huge cross for me and my husband. My fertility signs are erratic, sympto-thermal is hard when our youngest is still waking erratically throughout the night, and every month I’m as likely to ovulate early or late as I am on time. The absintence isn’t even hard…it’s actually a relief because I’m constantly

And yet, when I explain this to other people, I usually am told to either relax and take birth control, or I get a spiel like this:

“I don’t know why any couple would choose ABC! NFP is 99% effective, and doesn’t have any of the side affects of artificial birth control! Plus it brings couples together. If you husband respects you he’ll be all over NFP! I’m soooo glad my spouse and my marriage honor God by choosing NFP!”

And then, if this discussion is happening on this forum, this emoticon is often used: I guess to denote in a visual way how incomprehensible it is that any Catholic worth her salt would choose anything but NFP or just having a dozen kids.

Guys, that attitude doesn’t help anyone to do NFP. A little more compassion would help a lot of hopeless couples who feel like they have nowhere to turn and nobody who understands.

Telling people about NFP problems is no different than telling them about any of you other problems… 20% don’t care and 80% are glad you have them!

Chastity isn’t easy for anyone so I think that there is a perverse sort of pleasure in seeing everyone - single, married, gay, straight - equally miserable.

 

[Parv59]

You don’t have to breastfeed. Weaning would restart your cycles within two or so months. Obviously, more breastfeeding is better, but the benefit is largely front-loaded–it’s the initial months that give the most benefit.

When I was breastfeeding my youngest and we were in the same boat (starting around 9 months out), I asked my husband if he wanted me to stop. He didn’t.

You may wish to continue, but bear in mind that you do have at least some control over the situation.

True. I think I’m just sort of stuck in a weird place. I nursed my first son until one to avoid having to give formula(my husband and I both decided that was what we wanted) so I was hoping to do the same this time around. I’m definitely going to revisit that conversation though. He doesn’t do it on purpose, but he makes me feel bad when we can’t have sex.

 

[Xantippe]

True. I think I’m just sort of stuck in a weird place. I nursed my first son until one to avoid having to give formula(my husband and I both decided that was what we wanted) so I was hoping to do the same this time around. I’m definitely going to revisit that conversation though. He doesn’t do it on purpose, but he makes me feel bad when we can’t have sex.

Ask him if he wants you to wean now. Help him understand that he too has some control over the situation. (But make sure he understands that you’ll need money for formula unless you’re WIC eligible.)

Best wishes!

 

[Convert_in_99]

Woah! This thread has gotten huge. Lots to read. And to the persons advocating birth control on my thread please, PLEASE stop. I was not seeking an alternative to NFP, because there is morally no alternative. I was just seeing if others got false impressions of how wonderful NFP was supposed to be for a marriage, and not enough forewarning of its difficulties and how best to work through those in line with church teachings.