Is sex overrated?

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THE most? Really?
Beg to differ…
If I had to choose between spending time with my young son or having sex with my wife, the former would be the obvious choice without a second thought.

To the OP: Yes, sex is very much overrated. It’s very nice for a moment, but also extremely fleeting.
Even in a loving, healthy marriage without small kids running around…how much of your life is actually sex? Even if you have sex every single night (extremely unlikely), its still a small percentage of your life… important, but not the be all / end all.
 
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I’m a married man and father in my early 30s…and while I have a strong sex drive, when married life gets difficult, its not sexual encounters with other women that I tend to fantasize about…rather, I fantasize about the freedom to go the movies or have a beer at the pub or read a good book whenever I like :P. Sex is overrated, while the simple pleasures of life are underrated.
 
TNEIADMN.

Or rather…these never ending internet acronyms drive me nuts.
 
Good. Enjoy those freedoms while you are single. I see so many single people (either never married or divorced) who constantly agonize about being alone and devote so much energy to finding a partner…as if being with someone is suddenly going to make their life a cakewalk.
 
Yes I agree. Having multiple kids definitely makes it difficult to have any sort of romantic interlude! Being able to just go somewhere without having a sitter is definitely a simple pleasure lol!
 
DisorientingSneeze said:
In some of your other threads you claim you have children. Your profile here says you are a father of two. Still other threads are about having a crush on a friend studying for the priesthood or the guys you see on Catholic Match. What is going on here?
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You sure you’re not mixing up with another poster?
 
AdamP88 said:
You sure you’re not mixing up with another poster?
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Maybe there is a tremendous glitch only I am seeing that merged two profiles. If you click on Joyful’s name does the profile not say “Beer loving father of two” in the description?
 
I was expecting it to be some sort of mystical experience, but after I got married I realized that its probably on the same level as eating chocolate or indulging on any other pleasurable activity, like a massage or a hot tub, etc.

That said, it is a very beautiful way for a married couple to stay connected in their marriage. It is actually a way a married couple mirrors the trinity. The two spouses in their love beget a whole other person from their love (theoretically at least). But, on a purely human level it is just a gift that God gives married people. I think I expected it to be more amazing before marriage.

In my opinion, I get more satisfaction from feeling loved by God or my family/friends. Life is not about sex and it shouldn’t be. But, one interesting thing to note, I think sexual desire is more intense before marriage and thus seems more pleasurable.
 
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DisorientingSneeze:
Maybe there is a tremendous glitch only I am seeing that merged two profiles. If you click on Joyful’s name does the profile not say “Beer loving father of two” in the description?
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That’s what I see, too. Strange.
 
Mary67 said:
I was expecting it to be some sort of mystical experience, but after I got married I realized that its probably on the same level as eating chocolate or indulging on any other pleasurable activity, like a massage or a hot tub, etc.
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Mary67 said:
In my opinion, I get more satisfaction from feeling loved by God or my family/friends.
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Mary67 said:
I think sexual desire is more intense before marriage and thus seems more pleasurable.
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This is an interesting thought.

I really do find it to be as mystical an experience as I’ve ever had. I’m not really one to get all emotional about religion to be honest, and I find my faith is mostly on the intellectual side and I simply believe because it is true and good. I could probably go my whole life without being “slain in the spirit” or having an emotional faith experience.

I feel very stronglly that sexual intimacy is something sacred and I really do experience that in my relationship. I don’t think the desire has diminished since we’ve gotten married. Maybe the anticipation has a little, there is certainly more mystery and expectation around it before marriage. But I definitely think it gets better with time and certainly when you’re actively TTC it takes on an additional dimension of meaning and depth.

I wouldn’t say it’s overrated and I think it lives up to and exceeds my pre-marriage expecations!
 
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AdamP88 said:
I feel very stronglly that sexual intimacy is something sacred and I really do experience that in my relationship. I don’t think the desire has diminished since we’ve gotten married. Maybe the anticipation has a little, there is certainly more mystery and expectation around it before marriage. But I definitely think it gets better with time and certainly when you’re actively TTC it takes on an additional dimension of meaning and depth.
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This resonates with me.

I think before I was married I had built up very big emotional expectations surrounding sex. Now that it is a “routine” activity for me, it’s easy to think it’s no big deal. But what I have been realizing is that the mystical, spiritual aspect of it whispers to me quietly the same way other parts of my life do. My husband and I aren’t going to be the subject of a grand romantic epic, but sex does strengthen the bond between us and I notice that in small but beautiful ways while going about our ordinary lives.

Sometimes God speaks to you with a loud “HEY YOU!” but mostly, I find He whispers through ordinary things if I but listen. 🙂
 
pensmama87 said:
. My husband and I aren’t going to be the subject of a grand romantic epic
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And that’s the beauty of it I think! It’s like the coldplay song “something just like this”.

We aren’t heroes or people in a grand tale, but we’re just an ordinary man and woman, doing the ordinary things in life and loving each other and the children God blesses us with!

That is more beautiful.
 
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No more truth today 😠 I refuse to give up my Curmudgeonly Bachelor Ways…

 
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twf said:
I’m a married man and father in my early 30s…and while I have a strong sex drive, when married life gets difficult, its not sexual encounters with other women that I tend to fantasize about…rather, I fantasize about the freedom to go the movies or have a beer at the pub or read a good book whenever I like :P. Sex is overrated, while the simple pleasures of life are underrated.
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I’m married and I do that stuff. I think this is different for every marriage though. Maybe you should give yourself some freedom. Everyone needs “me” time.
 
Ditto…I’m married, 3 kids and in my 30’s and have the freedom to do that if I want.

And still no…sex is not overrated.
 
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TC3033 said:
Ditto…I’m married, 3 kids and in my 30’s and have the freedom to do that if I want.

And still no…sex is not overrated.
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Yeah. I have no kids yet. But I have a passion for the outdoors and Kayaking and when I have kids they will just have to come with dad on his Sunday morning hike.
 
AdamP88 said:
Yeah. I have no kids yet. But I have a passion for the outdoors and Kayaking and when I have kids they will just have to come with dad on his Sunday morning hike.
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So that your wife can stay home and SLEEEEP! You’re the best. Good job! Good man. Tips hat. Raise my glass.

I’m sure she would come sometimes. I’m just very sleepy and saw potential good husbanding and good dadding built into your post. ❤️
 
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