Is sleeping with a friend a sin?

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Hey all,

I’m moving in with a friend in the next few days, and was wondering if sleeping with him in the same bed is a sin.

We’ve been best friends since 10th grade (I’m female and he’s male), and we’ve never ever had a romantic attraction towards each other. The bed is King sized, and there will be 4 feet between us. We’ll have to sleep on it for a few weeks until we find a bigger place. Again, nothing sexual is there, and never ever will be shudders.

Is this okay? (We consider each other brother and sister and he’s also Catholic)

Thanks.
 
Though the setup is not very appropriate, I think it’s fine as long as nothing will happen. But on the other hand, the situation could be a lot favorable if you don’t sleep together on the same bed, even if there’s 4 feet of space between you and the unattraction.
 
No such should not be done…

Neither the moving in nor the bed sharing…

Find a new arrangement…meet together as friends but do not live together or sleep together in the same bed.

(sexual attraction or not…)
 
He doesn’t have a bed (he sleeps on a couch). The couch is getting VERY old and will probably be tossed when I move in. The apartment is also very small, and the only bedroom is being used by his grandmother.

Even if we wanted to do anything, we couldn’t because the bedroom is 2 feet from the living room.

Basically, we have no choice.
 
TheBibleAddict said:
He doesn’t have a bed (he sleeps on a couch). The couch is getting VERY old and will probably be tossed when I move in. The apartment is also very small, and the only bedroom is being used by his grandmother.

Even if we wanted to do anything, we couldn’t because the bedroom is 2 feet from the living room.

Basically, we have no choice.
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The choice needing to be made here is to not live together…

Sorry to be so blunt…but as the British say “there it is”
 
You commit no personal sin by merely sleeping in the same bed as someone. But it’s an occasion of sin - meaning it’s a situation that provides an incredible temptation for each of you to sin. The wise man knows he is weak and that there are situations where he is likely to cave into temptation. Even if you feel it poses no temptation for you, consider that it may be an incredible temptation for him. In general it’s easier for women to see men as just friends, but men are more likely have to have a romantic attraction to female friends.

You also create scandal for others, even if you aren’t doing anything wrong, if others know you’re sleeping in the same room together and make the quite natural assumption in our culture that you’re doing more than just sleeping.

Ideally, you should find separate places to live with roommates of your respective sexes if you need help paying the living expenses. If you’ve got absolutely no other options you should at least sleep in different rooms even if that means one of you has to sleep on the floor.
 
brianwalden said:
Even if you feel it poses no temptation for you, consider that it may be an incredible temptation for him. In general it’s easier for women to see men as just friends, but men are more likely have to have a romantic attraction to female friends.
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Let me put it this way, he’s not attracted to me in any way, shape, or form as we have confirmed this many, many years ago. We feel downright disgusted by the thought considering we see each other as siblings under God and by our familial values.

I do see your point, though. I’m talking to him right now as we speak, and will figure out a sleeping arrangement. (Living in his small apartment is only temp. We’re getting a two bedder soon)

While on this topic: We sort of have to live together considering my situation. I will be homeless if I don’t move in with him. We’re both living off of SSI because we both have Schizoaffective Bipolar-type Disorder (look this illness up before you judge; it’s not the same as Schizophrenia.). His living situation is very unhealthy as well, so this is the best solution.

We’re both very strong in our Catholic faith, and there isn’t any temptation (once again, we find that utterly disgusting). We will go to Mass and services almost every day, and I will finally be able to start RCIA (my current situation prevents me from going anywhere near a church because of my family’s beliefs). So, once again, this is the best solution.

Thanks for your answers.
 
Why doesn’t one of you sleep on the floor in another room. Why the same bed?
 
TheBibleAddict said:
Hey all,

I’m moving in with a friend in the next few days, and was wondering if sleeping with him in the same bed is a sin.

We’ve been best friends since 10th grade (I’m female and he’s male), and we’ve never ever had a romantic attraction towards each other. The bed is King sized, and there will be 4 feet between us. We’ll have to sleep on it for a few weeks until we find a bigger place. Again, nothing sexual is there, and never ever will be shudders.

Is this okay? (We consider each other brother and sister and he’s also Catholic)

Thanks.
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Think about it this way, there is Concupiscence which might kick in at any time. He might say he treats you as a sister etc. But at the moment, things might end up different. Would you want to put your salvation at risk?

Also, to put yourself in near occasion of sin IS A sin by it-self.

On a different note, think of what you are going to say one day to your husband? I slept with this guy on the same bed for five weeks? Would you feel ok if he said the same about another woman?

God Bless 🙂
 
No, it is not a sin. If you have zero attraction to each other it’s the same as sharing a bed with a sibling.
 
There must be an action for there to be a sin… I doubt any harm is done by “omission”-ing in this situation.
Or at least that is what my understanding of what the catholic church teaches.
 
Like Muhammed Ali said, “if you don’t feel differently about some things after 25 years, you’ve wasted 25 years of your life.” Sleeping together sound so innocent 40 years ago. After 40 years of SHEER MISERY, I would not buy that LIE again. Because that’s what it was. Take a cold shower and rethink the situation. And don’t buy a LIE.
 
Certainly not sleeping in the same bed/room…

Even if a male and a female has no sexual temptation that they know of and there is no scandal (???) staying for a while at the house or apt of ones Grandmother … …etc etc (one can get some direction on if such is possible…a good Priest perhaps whom you know?)…lets say this for arguments sake …

…they should still not be sleeping in the same bed or room.

They are not married and even brothers and sisters do not share the same room (maybe perhaps as babies or toddlers…I do not know) or bed in our general culture.

You can call the apologist line and speak with the Priest at Catholic Answers perhaps for some advice.
 
After a night of partying, Marlo is staggering his way back home. Marlo feels hungry and happily he stumbles upon a convenient store. After surveying his options his eyes fix on the “hot foods” section. Inside the glass encasement he spies one final hotdog spinning in circles on the warming plate. Marlo knows the hotdog has been on the grill for the last 14 hours but his stomach churns. After some deliberation, Marlo goes against his better judgement and devours a ketchup-smothered leater-skinned hotdog. Marlo stumbles his way back home and slips off to sleep rather satisfied. The next morning Marlo spends three hours sitting on the toilet working up the nerve to call-in sick to work.

My advice BibleAddict, with all the scandal and near occasion of sin aside, sleeping in the same bed with your friend is just a bad idea especially when there are other options. Stay away from the hotdog.
 
Let’s look at it this way. If you were married, and your husband was away, and you found yourself in the same sleeping arrangement problem … would you share the same bed with your male friend? Quickly … what does your conscious tell you? Hopefully, your 1st thought is, “no!” And if so, ask yourself, why not?

You have more than yourselves to be concerned about.

You may think of yourself as siblings, but you aren’t. In fact, I would not permit my wife to sleep in the same bed with her bother. Why would she be ok with that, anyway. I certainly would not want to ever hear that from her after the during our courtship or our wedding. IMO, it’s just very inappropriate and strange!

If he is a gentleman and a good Catholic, he would not accept your generosity.
 
tlimon said:
After a night of partying, Marlo is staggering his way back home. Marlo feels hungry and happily he stumbles upon a convenient store. After surveying his options his eyes fix on the “hot foods” section. Inside the glass encasement he spies one final hotdog spinning in circles on the warming plate. Marlo knows the hotdog has been on the grill for the last 14 hours but his stomach churns. After some deliberation, Marlo goes against his better judgement and devours a ketchup-smothered leater-skinned hotdog. Marlo stumbles his way back home and slips off to sleep rather satisfied. The next morning Marlo spends three hours sitting on the toilet working up the nerve to call-in sick to work.

My advice BibleAddict, with all the scandal and near occasion of sin aside, sleeping in the same bed with your friend is just a bad idea especially when there are other options. Stay away from the hotdog.
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👍👍
 
TheBibleAddict said:
We’re both very strong in our Catholic faith, and there isn’t any temptation (once again, we find that utterly disgusting). We will go to Mass and services almost every day, and I will finally be able to start RCIA (my current situation prevents me from going anywhere near a church because of my family’s beliefs). So, once again, this is the best solution.
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I am happy that you are considering RCIA. Take that bold step. I am praying for you. :signofcross:
 
…everyone…

We already accomplished that we weren’t going to sleep in the same bed, but we’re going to sleep in the same room. Didn’t have to say the same thing over and over.

I find it funny that after I kept saying there was no physical attraction, you continue to say there could be. We both know we wont, and God knows we wont. We will not be committing any sin once we move in to a bigger place (that’s just absurd). You don’t know us, so please do not assume.

Thanks for the answers and opinions.
 
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