Is sleeping with someone of the opposite sex a sin?

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GospelOfMatthew

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Is literally sleeping with someone a sin? Like laying together under the blankets and taking a nap or having sleepovers and cuddling/holding each other closely?

If you are going to say, “well as long as you don’t go too far doing other things” then how far is considered too far outside of strictly having sex?
 
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GospelOfMatthew said:
Is literally sleeping with someone a sin? Like laying together under the blankets and taking a nap or having sleepovers and cuddling/holding each other closely?

If you are going to say, “well as long as you don’t go too far doing other things” then how far is considered too far outside of strictly having sex?
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In the first place you are placing yourself in a near occasion of sin and could cause the sin of scandal.
Second, rule of thumb NEVER do anything you would not do directly in front of your parents!
 
GospelOfMatthew said:
Is literally sleeping with someone a sin? Like laying together under the blankets and taking a nap or having sleepovers and cuddling/holding each other closely?

If you are going to say, “well as long as you don’t go too far doing other things” then how far is considered too far outside of strictly having sex?
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For a normal heterosexual male who has physical sexual sensations, it would be virtually impossible for this not to be sinful. I can’t speak for normal heterosexual females, because I’ve never been one. It seems that women are more comfortable with the idea of “being just friends” than men are, and the urgency of certain physical responses differs between the sexes.

If a couple just falls asleep in each other’s presence (e.g., on a couch together), and did not realize they were so sleepy, there can’t be any sin as long as they weren’t aware they were going to drift off — think the Everly Brothers’ “Wake Up Little Susie”.
 
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If it was a near occasion of sin, don’t do it again. Simple!

If you are worried that you sinned, go to confession and talk to a priest.
 
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Occasion of sin includes doing something innocent that leads to other things, or could easily lead there, even if it does not.

When I was young and dumb and poor, there were times when I traveled with groups of friends of both sexes. If people of different sexes slept in different beds, on different couches, etc., nothing was going to happen. If people of different sexes slept in the same bed, or were encouraged to do so, it was pretty obvious that something was supposed to happen. If people did not want something to happen, the guy or girl slept in a chair, or in the bathtub or shower or closet, or sat up reading all night in the hallway or the hotel lobby. I was always having to draw clear lines about my own behavior to prevent dangerous misunderstandings. I was not sinning, but it was an occasion of sin - and if I had been drunk or into drugs, or too sleepy to think straight, I could have put myself or one of my friends into a very bad position.

After a while, I got money and sense, and was able to have my own room when I traveled, or share only with friends of the same sex. There comes a time when it is not fair to try to treat people as both honorary siblings and as unrelated persons of potential romantic interest. You cannot have things both ways, and it is not fair or safe.

Even if you are just at a party or hanging out at someone’s house, you need to put some thought into how you behave. If you are in love with someone, you need to treat that person and yourself with respect. Don’t create a bad situation. Think.
 
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There is saying in the Bible “One who is wise is cautious and turns away from evil, but a fool is reckless and careless” Proverbs 14:16

If you smoke 30 packs of cigarettes a day, and then hope to not develop cancer would not make much sense. The same is true for sin, the more we put ourselves in danger of sinning, the more likely we will fall.
 
TheLittleLady said:
In front of your parents, or on National Television.
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I get what you’re saying, but this seems like a pretty crazy rule of thumb. Most people would agree that it’s fine for adults who are in a relationship to kiss, but most people aren’t going to want to make out in front of their parents.
 
I wouldn’t have proposed to my wife in either of those circumstances.
 
Careful! “Making out” is widely considered the 8th deadly sin on CAF ;).
 
GospelOfMatthew said:
Is literally sleeping with someone a sin? Like laying together under the blankets and taking a nap or having sleepovers and cuddling/holding each other closely?
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I recently slept in the same bed as a guy. Not a date or boyfriend. We are barely friends and it was more of a space issue, lol. No feelings or anything happened. It was a non event. In this case, I would say it isn’t a sin.

Now if we cuddled, and we felt something. That in itself wouldn’t be a sin unless we intentionally do it again, or if we dwell/continue to encourage such arousal.

For something to be lust, you would have to seek for the disordered pleasure. So in your scenario, it seems sinful.
GospelOfMatthew said:
There were physical responses on both our ends and we were involved in that happening for each other. I believe this to be wrong
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Were you actions intended to bring about these reactions, or were you just innocently cuddling and something happened? If the former, it’s sinful. If the latter, it would be an accident and now you know what you can handle/not handle. Avoid it in the future.

It would also be sinful if you dwelled on it. I.e. You continuing your actions instead of moving away.
 
LawyersGunsAndMoney said:
I get what you’re saying, but this seems like a pretty crazy rule of thumb
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And to be honest, we would have different standards for ourselves.

I wouldn’t mind my dad or anyone knowing I shared a bed with a guy friend, but I would be so embarrassed if he sees me holding my boyfriend’s hand, lol! But that wouldn’t mean holding hands is wrong or anything, it’s just that I have a really dramatic family.
 
GospelOfMatthew said:
Is literally sleeping with someone a sin?
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Objectively speaking, no.

Context is the key. If two siblings shared a bed, there would be nothing remotely out of order. If it were a romantic partner, it could be a near occasion of sin.

If you were doing anything sexual, instead of literally sleeping, it would be sinful. It would be the sexual activity outside of marriage, however, that was sinful - not the act of sleeping in close proximity, however.
 
Even if sleeping together were an occasion of sin or otherwise inadvisable, there could be a serious reason that makes it acceptable, such as an emergency where it is reasonable to stay warm.
 
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