Is the marriage invalid or valid?

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phil19034 said:
I don’t think that would be an issue because you SHOULD know your future spouses moral beliefs and political leanings before getting married.
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People change. Moral beliefs change. Political leanings change. That doesn’t mean you love the person less, or of that an individual’s changes automatically constitute grounds for a degree of nulity
 
I think it could be more of a deal breaker than you surmise; and deceit being the bottom line, she doesn’t tell - and while dating are you going to straight out ask? Not likely for most people. And for those most people, some of them would see it as a deal breaker were it to come out prior to the marriage.
 
Lifeisbeautiful3 said:
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phil19034:
I don’t think that would be an issue because you SHOULD know your future spouses moral beliefs and political leanings before getting married.
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People change. Moral beliefs change. Political leanings change. That doesn’t mean you love the person less, or of that an individual’s changes automatically constitute grounds for a degree of nulity
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Very true. However, I think you misunderstood my post. I was making the point that learning about a previous abortion does NOT constitute grounds for an annulment. I was also making the point if the wife was pro-choice, then you already know her view regarding abortion, and if her view is pro-life (after she had an secret abortion) then you can assume that she suffered and the husband should be there for her with love.
 
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So let me ask you this question, like I asked the priest…

“And so do you believe bisexual attractions must be disclosed, even after openly discerning with a priest and Spiritual Director who advised not to share?”
 
I think there are technicalities that would accommodate a tribunal issuing a decree of nulity to many, many people who are currently married.

That doesn’t mean that they won’t be well served in investing in their marriage, even if they don’t “feel“ happy
 
otjm said:
I think it could be more of a deal breaker than you surmise; and deceit being the bottom line, she doesn’t tell - and while dating are you going to straight out ask? Not likely for most people. And for those most people, some of them would see it as a deal breaker were it to come out prior to the marriage.
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BEFORE getting married - yes, someone may view it as a deal breaker and they would be in their right to do so.

AFTER getting married - it would NOT be a valid deal breaker unless she was severely lying about her moral beliefs, political views, etc. The abortion in itself would not be enough.
 
It goes back to the Canon law section concerning deceit, as it was done before the marriage.
 
It would certainly be appealing to God, if one was not in a sacramental, covenant relationship - that is why Canon law provides the f=various grounds on defective consent.
 
But the OP was not exactly deceitful if he was willing to tell his fiance, and his confessor and SP advised not to.
 
If it is in fact porneia or an unbelieving spouse, yes.

Those who act as judge and those who Marry another will answer to Christ whether it was just or unjust.
 
But he did deceive and she was deceived.
 
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I have no evidence why a priest would say to withhold that information, but I can think of several, one of them being the priest has no clue about Canon law. and given that Canon law, like civil and criminal law, is a specialty requiring three years of training, that is no stretch. I can think of others, and I choose not to sidetrack this discussion.

But the individual directly impacted by the matter would be the spouse, so what the spiritual director said might be worth pursuing before the tribunal. And spiritual direction, as opposed to confession I do not believe to be protected by penittent/confessor rules if received outside the confession.

In any event, the defective consent is primarily upon the wife, and secondarily upon the husband. If the spiritual director is not competent to determine the depth of the SSA, it becomes irrelevant. And the question on the Husband’s part involves a matter which the Church says is objectively disordered; so part of the issue is to what degree the husband suffers from an objective disorder.

Again, one question no one seems to be addressing is why the husband married if he has SSA. Is it his objective to use her as a foil? That does not sound like the makings of a covenant relationship. Depending on the depth of his SSA, it may be that he is not capable, within the understanding of covenant, to give himself to her.
 
rcwitness said:
he was genuine about his attraction and love to her
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TECHNICALLY neither attraction nor love (aside from the charity that a Christian has for all of mankind) are not required for validity of a marriage. There have been many, many valid arranged marriages.
 
I have my doubts about his willingness to tell his future spouse about his SSA; far more likely it came up because he knew or had a strong suspicion that would be a deal killer. Otherwise, why would it even come up in his spiritual direction?

I don’t buy that the director volunteered out of the blue that he not tell the intended; and if the director did, then the director likely knew it would/could be the deal killer.

And if it was not volunteered by the spiritual director, why did he ask if he had to? again - knew or suspected it was a deal killer.
 
I asked a fair question. And saw conflicting answers. I have been charitable. I have not criticized his position, but rather acknowledged that there was an inconsistency.
 
I can agree to that.

I just want a consistent answer. Whether I agree or not shouldn’t matter. I never criticized his opinion on the matter.
 
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