Is this the reason some don't like the Catholic religion?

[BSHoop96]

The scripture which states, that we are to love each other and encourage each other when we meet together has CLEARLY been ignored. There is no scripture to suport what Catholics do…I can’t even think of a bible principal that supports the practice of not showing any christian love before OR after mass. I don’t think a tradition can be combined with scripture to suport this.

No bible scripture for what we do? Are you serious?? I think meet together also refers to the way we live our daily life. You are trying to narrow it down to before and after Mass to say that Catholics are unfriendly because we are not like protestant churches.

But we know full well that over half the Church is not praying after mass…they are leaving the building like its on fire or something.
The many catholics who are NOT praying after church have NO EXCUSE for not socialising.

Rather judgmental. Not a social situation for us.

Its easy to leave right after…speaking to know one…and use the eucharist as an excuse.

This is terribly rude. Sorry, we are just different. That doesn’t mean we are unfriendly. I often smile and greet people before and after Mass but I don’t usually don’t stop and chitchat. I save that for Inquiry, Rosary Group, RE education, etc.

I believe Christ would be very happy for a church to behave as a family. Ofcourse not speaking DURING mass

I think you need to quit comparing us. You have some responsibility yourself for putting yourself in a group to meet people. Our culture is different than theirs. I am sorry you find it unfriendly. Have you ever joined a group and what was your experience there?

 

[MarieVeronica]

It seems that in my Catholic experience, everyone just keeps to him or herself… I think that people think that if you have Jesus, you don’t need people… and Who knows - maybe you don’t (??)… I mean, if people are going to be like that, i guess i don’t…

Hi distracted. You have some good responses here. Especially the words about the spiritual “demeanor” of a Catholic, upon entering the church… prior to Mass. I’m “gathering” from your words, that you’re referring to the Catholic “attitude” just prior to Mass? Many Catholics… do become quiet and prayerful (introverted?)… as they attempt to prepare themselves, spiritually… for the Mystery of the Mass. (although, on the other side of the coin… there are many that use the church… before Mass as a “social hall”. ). Many of us, too… attempt to offer some level of respectful silence to Our Lord, in the Tabernacle. This might seem strange, to a non-Catholic Christian… who is more used to the “social” setting… within his or her own church. I can see… how they might construe this attitude as cold, or unfriendly. But it really isn’t. It’s just the Catholic attempt… to place more emphasis on the Real Presence of Jesus in the Tabernacle… or in prep for the Mass.

If you would sincerely like to get to know your Catholic brothers and sisters, on a more personal basis… I would recommend that you read your parish bulletin… and find out if there are any ministries or other activities in which you can become involved. You will find that through involvement in parish ministries and activities… you will make many new friends, and get to know your brothers and sisters very well! God bless you.

 

[BSHoop96]

I must agree with the original poster. My stand is that, the Catholic Church teaches true doctrine. But I do not think the catholic HABIT…of not seaming to be unfriendly at mass…bUT THEY ARE BIENG UNFRIENDLY.

excaliber, I know I responded to this post already but after I did I was looking at my e-mails. I wanted to share this with you. I received one from my Church. I had taken someone to “Inquiry” class so I was on the e-mail list. It was to inform people that there was another one starting and inviting them back if they were interested. It invited them to Mass, stating that it was the source and summit of our faith. Then it said if you felt uncomfortable coming alone to give this person a call and they would meet you at Mass themselves or have someone from an Inquiry, RCIA, or Welcoming ministry meet you. Also this person said they were there to help and just to give them a call if any questions. There was more stated but this was the gist of it. Does this sound unfriendly to you??

 

[excaliber]

No bible scripture for what we do? Are you serious?? I think meet together also refers to the way we live our daily life. You are trying to narrow it down to before and after Mass to say that Catholics are unfriendly because we are not like protestant churches.

YES I am serious. And probably every other religious organization with a bible, is in agreement with this post. Lets use my greek Orthodox experience for example.
They also believe in the real presence.

Why is it then that a deacon aproached to help me with a custom…and seat me when I arived late. Why is it that I saw soooo many smiles, during devine liturgy. The same deacon told me I was aloud to kiss the bible…but not take comunion. And finaly one of the older sisters helped me…not even a deacon…but just a member of the congregation…she walked over to the building where they socialise after every mass.

These are not protestants. Explain…

Rather judgmental. Not a social situation for us.

Not trying to be ofensive at all, just sharing my thoughts. Again I am sure the Orthodox did not meet for the purpose of being social. But they also were not soooo isolated.
They were not extremely social or extremely isolated.

This is terribly rude. Sorry, we are just different. That doesn’t mean we are unfriendly. I often smile and greet people before and after Mass but I don’t usually don’t stop and chitchat. I save that for Inquiry, Rosary Group, RE education, etc.

Brother I think you are aware that I am not trying to be rude. Mabey we don’t fully understand what each other is saying. I think fellowship is a part of Christianity.
Now this is what I am saying…before Mass IF you are not praying, go smile and a simple how are you…or a simple welcome to someone that is new…that’s simply the Christian thing to do.
Or after mass…IF you are not praying…why not go say hello to the new guy, Its the guy you never saw before who dosent take comunion and looks completely lost. I would want to do this…I mean here you are in the real presence of Christ, and you show an act of love to a member of the congregation…its not possible for God to be ofended by this.

OFCOURSE don’t go before the eucharist and talk about the NBA playoffs or something like that…NOW THAT is bad.

I think you need to quit comparing us. You have some responsibility yourself for putting yourself in a group to meet people. Our culture is different than theirs. I am sorry you find it unfriendly. Have you ever joined a group and what was your experience there?

You are correct brother, I must do my part.
I called the parish to speak to the priest…was never contacted by a priest.

So I called around to join every group I possibly could. I get there activities on my e-mail…I even tried helping a group start from the ground up.

But I work 3rd shift, and could not make the theology on tap meetings. And I told the group leader that I worked 3rd shift.
Long story short…I have yet to be introduced to the priest let alone a group.
Its good you help with inquiry, I just have to indure months of coldness until inquiry starts.

Do you realy think that I am imagining all this brother?

Do me a favor then, please pm me
and name just two Christian churches that are more Isolated then Catholics. If you have to stop and think to find one, then could you please just open your mind to the possibility that mabey the original poster could have a point.

 

[BSHoop96]

YES I am serious. And probably every other religious organization with a bible, is in agreement with this post. Lets use my greek Orthodox experience for example.
They also believe in the real presence.

Why is it then that a deacon aproached to help me with a custom…and seat me when I arived late. Why is it that I saw soooo many smiles, during devine liturgy. The same deacon told me I was aloud to kiss the bible…but not take comunion. And finaly one of the older sisters helped me…not even a deacon…but just a member of the congregation…she walked over to the building where they socialise after every mass.

These are not protestants. Explain…

I don’t quite know what you want me to explain…why someone didn’t seat you?..why someone didn’t take you and show you where to go? Did you go up to the ushers and tell them you are new and need assistance?

By the way, we have people to help people that are late also. That’s also because some people don’t realize you should wait until certain parts are over and others haven’t begun before you take your seat.

Brother I think you are aware that I am not trying to be rude. Mabey we don’t fully understand what each other is saying. I think fellowship is a part of Christianity.
Now this is what I am saying…before Mass IF you are not praying, go smile and a simple how are you…or a simple welcome to someone that is new…that’s simply the Christian thing to do.

I’m sorry but we don’t know everyone in Mass. We don’t know if you are new or not. We have a large parish. We greet everyone immediately around us during the exchange of peace. And I believe I already did say that I smile and say hello. I always acknowedge the people I am sitting next to.

Or after mass…IF you are not praying…why not go say hello to the new guy, Its the guy you never saw before who dosent take comunion and looks completely lost. I would want to do this…I mean here you are in the real presence of Christ, and you show an act of love to a member of the congregation…its not possible for God to be ofended by this.

There are many reasons one might not be taking communion which I shall not go into here. It does not mean you are not Catholic so we can’t always assume that.

You are correct brother, I must do my part.
I called the parish to speak to the priest…was never contacted by a priest.

So I called around to join every group I possibly could. I get there activities on my e-mail…I even tried helping a group start from the ground up.

But I work 3rd shift, and could not make the theology on tap meetings. And I told the group leader that I worked 3rd shift.
Long story short…I have yet to be introduced to the priest let alone a group.
Its good you help with inquiry, I just have to indure months of coldness until inquiry starts.

Do you realy think that I am imagining all this brother?

Do me a favor then, please pm me
and name just two Christian churches that are more Isolated then Catholics. If you have to stop and think to find one, then could you please just open your mind to the possibility that mabey the original poster could have a point.

I am sorry you are having a difficult time. Call back and try the priest again. I know we have a large parish and ONE priest and he is extremely busy. I’m not saying that some parishes might not be friendlier than others but that could be said of any individual parish or church but I think its impractical and unfair to say that of a religion. I think you are not grasping how different the Mass is from a protestant service.

If you have been attending Mass and trying to join ministries you should probably be in Inquiry and RICA. Then you would be with people to instruct and help you. If your work schedule is a problem see if there is a deacon or a priest willing to help you individually. Believe me, I know how hard it is to be a newcomer. I spent my life being a newcomer in all areas of my life as my father was in the military so I am not unsympathetic. I just believe you are being too hard on people and blaming it on the fact that they are Catholic. I have said a prayer for you and hope you are able to find a solution.

 

[jc-servant]

This is where I don’t understand the Catholic Church. The more I think on and study the Gospels I see that Christianity is about relationships. It’s about relationships with God and relationships with others. Jesus made this clear with what he said in Matthew 22:37-40.

The last few years I have regularly attended mass and I have yet to feel welcome. I have found it almost impossible to develop relationships at Catholic churches. It just doesn’t seem important to Catholics.

Come on over to my parish. Some of the very best relationships of my life have grown at this parish for me, including a real one between me and Jesus!

I drove to my parish from the other side of Dallas metro for over 2 years until I could move closer. I went through RCIA there (because an old friend was sponsoring me and it was her parish) and it became my “first family” inside my new church. There was no pressure to join the church if someone was not certain. They run it in a manner that may remind some Protestants of adult Sunday School since it actually happens on Sunday morning at our parish.

Lots of great instruction from an experienced team that is on fire with their faith, small group discussion, fellowship of all sorts and building of good relationships within the larger parish. You don’t have to know one single person to be sucked right into the heart of this group. Lots of people come just to learn and discuss even if they are already Catholic, so they will welcome your questions and find you the official answers rather than just one Catholic’s opinion about something the church teaches. There are super fun social events to allow the group to get to know more people (besides their usual small group table members). There is a weekend retreat in January with even more bonding and amazing “Catholic” experiences that are brand new to most adult converts or non-Catholics.

I would have never gotten the real feel of parish by just showing up at mass once per week, so I strongly encourage you to dip your toe into the community a little deeper. (However, I must say that people introduced themselves to me at my parish on the very first day and introduced me to other people when they found out that I was new and not just usually at another mass time.)

I also came from a Baptist background which made parish life seem very strange at first. In large part because of what I learned and experienced in RCIA, I began to feel Catholic and part of a community that stretches across the globe before even 6 months had passed.

I’m going to PM you the info about my parish and I if you would like to come visit us I will personally greet you and introduce you around. Also I would be happy to talk with you or anyone else who wants to PM me about “parish life” and other Catholic things from the perspective of someone who has been Catholic for less than a decade. Don’t worry if you are not on the same side of the metro, there is very little traffic on Sunday mornings.

 

[excaliber]

I don’t quite know what you want me to explain…why someone didn’t seat you?..why someone didn’t take you and show you where to go? Did you go up to the ushers and tell them you are new and need assistance?

no, I was asking why a Church with the same teaching about the real presence, interacted with me and one another when necessary?

I first wanted to find out if Catholics are taught by the church not to speak to anyone…or is it just a habit?

I hope you understand that I like praying at church, as a Jw…I was often the first to open church and turn on the lights…but Catholics ARE VERY SPIRITUAL…I am not the first at a Catholic Church, that is awsome…catholic spirituality is top notch.

But I realized that I don’t have a congregation, If someone in my church was sick I would not know…if someone in my church needed encouragement…I would not know. A huge part of what I am good at, is gone because I don’t have a congregation to show love to.

By the way, we have people to help people that are late also. That’s also because some people don’t realize you should wait until certain parts are over and others haven’t begun before you take your seat.

That’s good, mabey your church is
very warm.
I however had to agree with the op… I don’t feel like other Catholics are brothers and sisters…they feel like strangers.
And the thought that 10 years from now, I may still not know my own congregation is just not motivating.

Its so Ironic, Catholics are cool because the talk to gardian angels,
they talk to all the saints…just not eachother…outside of the internet.

I’m sorry but we don’t know everyone in Mass. We don’t know if you are new or not. We have a large parish. We greet everyone immediately around us during the exchange of peace. And I believe I already did say that I smile and say hello. I always acknowedge the people I am sitting next to.

I understand what your sayin…Im not tryin to be unreasonable. And Im not saying YOU don’t help others.

But trust me bro…everyone knew
that I was new…ha ha ha I had a full suit on, and I was about to run out of the church screaming when everyone stood up and said the creed. I was walking away from crosses…and I DID sprint back to my car. Ha ha ha I sorta stick out like a sore thumb

 

[distracted]

I was raised Pentecostal Holiness, so you can imagine the future shock my family will express when I finally say, “Oh by the way, I’m Catholic.” I know my mom will be calling pastors on the phone and asking them to talk with me. LOL!

You weany - deciding to become Catholic before you are bombarded w/ all those reasons why you shouldn’t… but then again, if you are really Catholic, nothing they say could dissuade you anyway… Do you think they will be less enthused about their own position due to the fact that is “too late”??

But no, Catholics are far from unfriendliness, Mass is reserved for worship of God and God alone. Outside of Mass, Catholics are the most fun to be around. I’m looking forward to that myself.

That is (sometimes) true…

congratulations. God bless…

 

[distracted]

I nondenominational Christian church …) was what he called the “over-friendliness” of the people. He commented that they didn’t seem at ease unless they could hug him, lay hands on him, and otherwise bother him. He felt his personal space was being violated, almost.

so that’s not just a Catholic thing? I always felt uncomfortable with that kind of over-friendliness myself (it seems 2b the opposite extreme of many Catholic Churches)… but i always thought i was like that because i was so… Catholic…

I confess it disturbed me to have people I barely knew coming up and asking to pray with me, to lay their hands on my head and say they felt “called to pray on me.”

I just thought of something: Don’t u think it is a little odd for you (and me & others) to feel this way? I mean, don’t u think that is somewhat a comment on how… well, un-Christian the world is today - that we feel SO uncomfortable with that level of friendliness? I mean, in Heaven there is going to be LOVE… and Jesus said As it is in Heaven, so let it be on Earth (paraphrase)…
I don’t know… just a thoguht… Maybe we should all analyze exactly why this kind of thing makes us feel uncomfortable… Maybe there’s something… well, not quite right about it??
(I definitely do not mean to criticize… I am just being honest about my thoughts…)
I

 

[distracted]

no, it’s because catholicism (in its traditional, orthodox form) is out of step with the modern world and its values. it teaches there is more to life than making money and indulging in pleasure. also it’s an unabashedly hierarchical institution in a culture which rejects authority as a matter of course.

that is probably the main reason Catholicism is not popular… but it is not the only reason…

catholics are as friendly and welcoming as the next bunch. go to mass in a small town and you will get many friendly smiles from strangers.

Gee - you haven’t been to the small towns i have been to!!! :hypno:

 

[Pier]

Haven’t read all the posts, but will say that as a cradle Catholic, attending the Mass is us going to worship God. We don’t say hello to everyone, as we probably don’t know everyone…

But if you get involved in some Church activities (Knights of Columbus, choir, teaching CCD) then you get to know more people over time.

It’s always nice to say hello or to speak to someone you see every week (or every day for those who do go), but it’s mostly about worshiping God and receiving the Body of Christ, as the Body of Christ.

 

[excaliber]

Haven’t read all the posts, but will say that as a cradle Catholic, attending the Mass is us going to worship God. We don’t say hello to everyone, as we probably don’t know everyone…

But if you get involved in some Church activities (Knights of Columbus, choir, teaching CCD) then you get to know more people over time.

It’s always nice to say hello or to speak to someone you see every week (or every day for those who do go), but it’s mostly about worshiping God and receiving the Body of Christ, as the Body of Christ.

I agree Mass is for worship. But before or after mass, If we are not praying…or doing anything anyway.
Why not fellowship.

Its hard…VERY hard on Converts.
If someone says…hey Im gona visit a Catholic church…and they are not lutheran or used to liturgy or anything…it will be extremely hard on them.

Keep in mind parishes have 1 priest many times…so they are very hard to get a hold of.(trust me I know)
God forbid a convert becomes interested in the church to late for
rcia. What will they do until rcia next year?
The point is that if the rcia team can’t help, and the priest has his hands full…all that is left is the congregation…if they are so isolated that they don’t want to be botherd before or after mass.

Its possible for that convert to think that the Church is realy cold.

 

[Lief_Erikson]

Coldness in Catholicism depends what church you go to. The Catholic church I’m going to in Southern California, Huntington Beach, is very welcoming. That’s what I felt as a Protestant coming in. I got to know one of the priests very quickly and on my Confirmation day he started introducing me to lots of parishioners. We are continuing to meet, discussing religion. It’s very lovely . Very welcoming. And there’s a huge emphasis on unity.

I think it depends what church we’re talking about.

 

[excaliber]

Coldness in Catholicism depends what church you go to. The Catholic church I’m going to in Southern California, Huntington Beach, is very welcoming. That’s what I felt as a Protestant coming in. I got to know one of the priests very quickly and on my Confirmation day he started introducing me to lots of parishioners. We are continuing to meet, discussing religion. It’s very lovely . Very welcoming. And there’s a huge emphasis on unity.

I think it depends what church we’re talking about.

You may want to pinch yourself to make sure you are awake, while having this experience. he he he

Im sure your right…wish you could move your church closer to me. Because I have tried several

 

[excaliber]

I wounder if age makes a difference. For example if a church
is made up of mostly elderly white people…will it be a warm church?

Or should I look around for a church with young people?
mabey a church with a mixture of races?

Most churches around me have lots of elderly white people…so not only am I normaly a rasin in milk…hahahahaha
but Im also one of the only young whiper snapers.

Mabey that’s why its so cold???

 

[Pier]

I wounder if age makes a difference. For example if a church
is made up of mostly elderly white people…will it be a warm church?

Or should I look around for a church with young people?
mabey a church with a mixture of races?

Most churches around me have lots of elderly white people…so not only am I normaly a rasin in milk…hahahahaha
but Im also one of the only young whiper snapers.

Mabey that’s why its so cold???

Well, continue to go when and where you can. Say hello to a friendly face after the Mass when you’re outside, if possible. It might help if you had a friend to go with you, but if not go anyway.

It sounds like yours is a small parish, so they might not have a youth group. But don’t be discouraged, you’re doing fine. I’ll remember to light a candle and say a prayer for you tomorrow, too.

 

[excaliber]

Well, continue to go when and where you can. Say hello to a friendly face after the Mass when you’re outside, if possible. It might help if you had a friend to go with you, but if not go anyway.

It sounds like yours is a small parish, so they might not have a youth group. But don’t be discouraged, you’re doing fine. I’ll remember to light a candle and say a prayer for you tomorrow, too.

Hey cool, Im gona get a prayer!!!
If God is in the request granting mood…I would like a nice warm congregation…make sure to tell God that I don’t mind driving…but no more then an hour because gas is outrageous.

And if the good Lord is feeling generous, he can throw a nice young Catholic Girl in as a bonus.
funny, slim build…hehehehehe
(with a slick grin)

 

[distracted]

IIts possible for that convert to think that the Church is realy cold.

converts? I have been Catholic all my life… and even though there were many reasons i left when really young… one of them was the coldness in the Church… and that is also one reason why i now want to leave…

No, tht’s not accurate. i don’t WANT to leave… but feel compelled to leave (to save my sanity or something)…

There is a lot of coldness on this forum…

So what is it with Catholics anyway??

 

[distracted]

IMost churches around me have lots of elderly white people…so not only am I normaly a rasin in milk…hahahahaha
but Im also one of the only young whiper snapers.

Mabey that’s why its so cold???

i believe people (kind of) dislike those of another age group. The youngg don’t wnat to be around th old, and vice versa… Ok, maybe dislike is not the word… they just don’ feel so comfortable around those of a different age group…

Unfortunately, i have even met a couple of racist “Catholics” in my life… VERY distasteful… esp considering that the Church has always included those of all races… it is not Catholic to be so narrow-minded… but anyway, fortunately, they are few and far between (in my world, anyway…).
Even so, i have been to “Black churches” and i understand a little of what you must feel sometimes… although once i got “situatuated” I didn’t really feel too uncomfortable there…
Anyway, God bless…

 

[excaliber]

converts? I have been Catholic all my life… and even though there were many reasons i left when really young… one of them was the coldness in the Church… and that is also one reason why i now want to leave…

No, tht’s not accurate. i don’t WANT to leave… but feel compelled to leave (to save my sanity or something)…

There is a lot of coldness on this forum…

So what is it with Catholics anyway??

Are you married?

The reason I ask is because one of the Catholics that got me interested in the church ALSO dosent know many catholics.

I hate to think what would happen if her husband wasent Catholic.

Both the other xbethelite jw’s I know both had wives that converted…AND some also had relatives that were catholics.

But if your unlucky like me and don’t have any of that…prepare for conversion to the coldest church on earth.

If your already baptised and don’t have catholic relatives or a catholic spouse…God save you!!!
LOL