I hope it’s not too old-fashioned; I have pretty much the same point of view. I figure it’s my job to let the guy know that I would say yes if he asked me…but it’s his job to ask. Or something like that.
On the one hand, there’s the biology (risk-takers have strong genes or something like that), on the other hand, risk-takers won’t always be the best providers for obvious reasons, which hurts the stability that some women seek, especially those who’d start off already looking for good guys.
On the part of shy, sweet and boring folks, I demand apology. If not, I’m gonna sue yer shirt off yer back!
True. What strikes me as a bit of a sad thing is that in that case, you’re not going to be the one who’s spent the “romantic” years with her, as in, late teens, early twenties and that kind. There was a time I worried I wouldn’t experience that at all, that I’d only be the parking lot kind of guy, i.e. the one you get together with when you’re done having fun. I’ve quit that kind of thinking, though I certainly wish I’d have been able to experience said years with the future Mrs Yours Truly, but hey, you don’t know the future until it starts and then the past doesn’t kinda matter that much anyway.
Yeah and I can tell you from experience, that doing it face to face is gazillion times better, though I’m still getting over a girl I met in person just twice not including after the break-up. Eh. Just do it. If you’re interested in a girl, walk up and tell her. No silly games are worth it. Sneaking around isn’t either.
Yeah, the problem is only that if you approach the whole thing seriously, you can’t really tie yourself to someone you barely know unless you’re properly smitten. Then again, you could argue that if you aren’t properly smitten, you probably shouldn’t be contemplating anything anyway.So…moral of the story is, you gotta strike while the iron is hot…make hay while the sun shines, take a leap of faith, etc., etc.
I don’t think bad boys want to marry bad girls. They may want to have ‘fun’ with each other but not spend the rest of their lives together. Seriously, what man wants a slut for a wife
YES! That’s it, and very well put.I hope it’s not too old-fashioned; I have pretty much the same point of view. I figure it’s my job to let the guy know that I would say yes if he asked me…but it’s his job to ask. Or something like that.
Well you know what to do. Make sure he has a hint that your answer would be “yes”…(And yes, I may have a particular person in mind when I say that, lol.)
Seriously? I mean…seriously??
especially if the place was a quick walk away.Well I imagine you’d want to chat with her first. Maybe if she’s at least an acquaintance in some form, then strike up a conversation, and if the signs are favorable, take the leap. That takes guts, which I respect in a man. That’s just me.
Well, in my mind, there’s a huge difference between “some stranger that I’ve never seen before” asking me out to coffee, and, say, “that guy who sits 5 pews in front of me at church every week” asking me out to coffee.
Sure, I could very much pull that off.
I think what she was getting at was that it is the “good girls” are exploring religious life and the “bad girls” are not, so odds are that if you want to get married your chances of finding a wife are greater among the “bad girls”. That is a chilling thought.
True, but keep in mind, however, that we were not built to be alone (see Genesis 2) and that not everyone can handle lifelong celibacy (see Jesus’ remarks regarding “eunuchs for teh kingdom” in Matther 19 and Paul’s admonitions in 1 Corinthians 7). One speaker at the National Catholic Singles Conference compared our search for companionship to this: when someone is REALLY hungry, they will eat the “junk food”. We all need to be more aware of the “starving” people out there and not force or tempt them to resort to “junk food”, so to speak.
I wish I were you. There’s this one girl who goes to Mass with me who I’m terrified of. Can’t say “hello,” much less ask her to coffee. Some man I am.
Ridiculous. Your vocation in life is not determined by how morally good you are or have been in the past. St. Augustine, anyone? Just because a man or woman is serious about his or her faith, it doesn’t mean that person is called to religious life; and just because someone is not at this point in his life serious about his faith, it doesn’t rule out the possibility that he does in fact have a vocation.
Not to be too harsh, but it certainly doesn’t help that 90% of the good Catholic guys are socially retarded, and the only men who do have the courage to ask us out are the ones we wouldn’t want to date. Sure, you will probably get turned down a few times; but you just have to find a mature way to deal with rejection. Eventually you just might find a girl who’s looking for all the same things as you are. And fyi, confidence is very attractive!
Well don’t beat yourself up, but seriously, if you really like her say hello. Introduce yourself. I promise it won’t kill you. Although a girl can introduce herself, it always makes them seem desprite. Or if she’s unsure if she likes you or just wants to be your friend and she introduces herself then she can be afraid of being misread.
The other part of it is how much it cost me and sometimes still does, whenever I really am affected. It’s like war. You can be scared, everyone is, but you gotta push on. If you get rejected, the world won’t end. If she rejects you, she obviously wasn’t the one for you and if she just isn’t interested (but is nice and polite in telling you so), then well, things happen! After all, for example, you often don’t know if she has someone unless it’s a ring on the finger. Sometimes it just doesn’t work out.
that is pretty interesting isn’t it… I know so many men and women whom are good people but just don’t seem to get along well enough to date…
lol the irony of things…Doesn’t mean you’re not a real man.
If you are truly interested in this gal you’re just going to have to get over your terror. But it’s not that huge a leap if you think of it in degrees. Start with eye contact, then “hello”…then at some point you can maybe try to start up a natural small-talk conversation with her. If you really like this gal, it’ll be worth it. And if she ends up liking you back, she’ll probably think your hesitancy in the beginning was real cute. He is not interested in the girls in his classes who wear super-short shorts and talk on cell phones all the time and would like a nice Catholic girl who appreciates a nice guy. He tried the Catholic student union thing at our church, but it was too “charismatic” for him, and being a traditional sort (wears a coat and tie to Mass, would go to Latin Mass every week if we had it), just didn’t connect with the other young people there. He tried the Catholic Match thing too, but the girls he contacted did not respond and nearly all of them live in other states and say on their profiles that they don’t want to move! (How badly do they want that nice Catholic husband?) He’s a little shy around girls, but just as he is working up the nerve to ask them out or something, they cut him off at the pass with the “let’s just be friends” line and then never speak to him again! This has happened at least 3 times! I’m starting to have my doubts that there are any girls his age who really want a nice guy. Maybe he is too cleancut by today’s standards? He gets his hair cut about once a month, wouldn’t be caught dead in cargo shorts and/or flipflops, and shaves every day. I guess that is not considered attractive? Wow your son sounds great and I am sure there is someone out there that will consider him the best guy in the world for them…But I have noticed even the young Catholic girls around where I live are not into the kind of guys your son is…I would have given anything to have found a guy like your son when I was his age! Nope not around where I grew up those types are non-existent…I had to go all the way to FL to find something decent and to do what? End up getting divorced and 3 kids later!! LOLPlease, girls, give young men like my son a chance! He is 19 (almost 20) and I could list all his good attributes, but since I am his mother, probably no one would take me seriously.
The irony of things…