IYO: Are Catholic weak on fellowship?

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Michael68 said:
Depends on what you mean by fellowship? Is it attending theology classes together or hanging together after Mass or helping with upkeep of the church together, taking advantage of volunteer opportunities, etc.?
Our parish is good in these!
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I don’t know. What is your opinion and WHY
 
PJM said:
And why do you suppose that is?
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Training
Culture
Desire for privacy

And a displaced dislike for perceived phoniness.

Let me explain that last statement.

My family is an “in your face” loud, talkative, fun loving, expressive and very loving family.

I married into a taciturn (to say the least) family. I always walked around with my foot in my mouth, to loud, to open, to expressive.

It took years for me to learn and understand that my husband’s family is every bit as loving and caring as mine. I have learn to love them on their level and they have put up with me with the same care and love.

In addition to that I grew up in the “fellowship” of a Protestant Church. No one was phony. When I became a Catholic the atmosphere is different - no doubt about it. But, the people are just as kind and just as loving. (I have been working on them too and they also put up with me and my loud mouth with compassion)
 
PJM said:
OK, thanks for sharing

Care to be more specific?
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Having visited many parishes for Mass, Stations of the Cross, and other activities these have been my observations:
– No one knows the person sitting next to them.
– If I introduce myself to the person next to me, they freak out and try to run away.
– A large portion of the congregants do leave before the end of Mass and other activities.
– If I ask why they don’t get to know each other or support each other, my question is met with hostility of “that’s for weak Protestants!” Examples of this sentiment can be found even on this thread.
 
100% Yes, are we weak on fellowship.

Years ago in my parish, I was encouraged to join the K.O.C. The representative was an hour late, and then balked at the fact I didn’t want to sign up then and there telling me that
," it takes a lot of time to explain all this". I never felt more discouraged in my life. Added, when given an event calendar, there was only a charity 3point basketball contest, and a lone donut sale after a Mass.

Then there is the opposite side of the spectrum with a younger adult group. They meet only once a month at a trendy brewhouse and discuss the Church. However, the conversation is so one-sided with some, plus the fact that people are drinking, well it’s quite a turn off.

Other than that, there is nothing on the horizon.
 
I don’t know how big Churches are run but there many ways in my Church to be connected.

Choir
Mission out reach
Soup Kitchens
Helping with the Children

Offering to help keep the grounds beautiful
Be part of the Alter and Rosary Society

There are many internal things that need many hands - like setting up chairs and putting chairs away.

It might take some investigation and often you will run into people who have territorial instincts but if one is tactful they are easy to work around.

Perhaps offer to help with the office with the bulletin or help stuff envelopes. There are lots of mind numbing things secretaries do. They sure enjoy help and company when they are stuffing envelopes and similar chores.
 
IYO: Are Catholic weak on fellowship?
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For a long time I’ve been strongly on the Yes side of this question. I’ve been re-examining it somewhat this year, especially in the last few weeks, but I’m still pretty much inclined to say Yes.

Just the number of RC parishes in my area that don’t bother with a Coffee Hour after mass is enough to give one pause.
 
Someone please correct me - I suppose fellowship means socialising, befriending and perhaps having small talk, maybe over coffee or just nice conversation.

If that’s fellowship, then don’t do it in the church during mass because it is not a time for talking but praying.

Parishes can improve fellowship then by holding activities that can facilitate it outside the church and outside mass or liturgical time.

Sale, food or garage, are one example for parishioners to linger abit after the mass. Our cathedral has these activities, there’s quite good rapport among us. But it’s not necessarily in the church compound. What’s about at parishioners respective home? They can have rosary prayers, cell group meetings, celebrating birthdays and anniversaries, etc.

It’s the people that make fellowship, not strictly the church .
 
yup.

It could be due to the “asian-ness” here (i live in an asian country-chinese,malays,indians etc)-tourists usually tell us that we are too reserved/we don’t talk to people we don’t know

but unless we are in a group (bible study, choir, etc), I personally find it weird to talk to others after mass or something. I usually sit alone in mass and leave alone, nobody really acknowledges each other besides the ‘sign of peace’.

in a protestant church event, I realised how friendly everyone was to people they have never met. It was really nice.

But like the other poster said, it is up to the people.
My parish has started “neighbourhood gatherings” where someone hosts a gathering at his/her place each week but introverts like me won’t bother attending even if they are desperate for fellowship. fellowship happens when the people start trying to make it happen.
 
As the bible has, in effect, replaced the Eucharist among many non-Catholics, so also does “fellowship” seem to be replacing the traditional Christian “mission” upon being sent forth from “worship services” or the mass. Fellowship emphasizes the horizontal aspect of the faith. Don’t get me wrong, we are almost a congregation of cats at times - still the Catholic Church seems to be suffering in recent decades, from an over-emphasis on that horizontal aspect - to the detriment of the vertical aspect.
 
Peter_J said:
Catholics also tend to have lots of Catholic Fellowship activities on the diocesan or “regional” level

Here in the Archdiocese of Philadelphia we have Catholic only fellowship / networking groups (just to name a few of them):
Catholic Business Professionals Network
Catholic Professionals
Catholic Lawyers Group
Many lay Third Orders
The PHILO Club (Catholic Philopatrian Literary Institute)
Malvern Men (who meet at the Malvern Retreat Center - a large Catholic Retreat center
The Malvern Retreat Center - which has retreats almost every weekend
The Bonaface Retreat Center
The American Catholic Historical Society of Philadelphia
Serra Club (4 chapters)
Kings Men
A Catholic Men’s Camping Retreat program
Volunteer Corps for the Cathedral and other National Shrines
Many active Catholic High School Alumni Groups
Notre Dame Club of Philadelphia
Sporting events at Villanova, St Joe’s & LaSalle
Galas and boosters for our hundreds of Carholic Schools
Galas and boosters for the Philadelphia Catholic League (the high school varsity sports conference that is just for Catholic High Schools)
Alumni Clubs and Alumni Supports for the 12 Catholic colleges inside the Archdiocese (not to mention the 2 others just across the Archdiocean boarder
Pro Life groups
Even a Catholic 55 and over housing community!

Point is, in larger Catholic areas there are TONS of fellowship for Catholics who want it outside of their parish, let alone what the parishes do.

So again, Catholics have fellowship - but it’s not always on the Parish level
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Btw - in my parish people are far more “chatty” and eager to engage in Fellowship after Daily Mass and / or at weeknight Parish events in the hall.

but not so much on Sundays. A lot of our parish volunteers will gladly prepare food every week for an 8 week Discovering Christ series than do one donut Sunday.

The reason I often hear is that on Sunday’s they need to get home to see their grandkids who come over for brunch every Sunday or things like that.

All of the devout Catholics in my parish would go out of their way go to lunch with you, talk about family, etc. during the week. But on Sunday’s after Mass it’s different, they have family they need to see (who don’t go to our parish or who don’t come to Church at all)
 
jane_doe said:
Having visited many parishes for Mass, Stations of the Cross, and other activities these have been my observations:
– No one knows the person sitting next to them.
– If I introduce myself to the person next to me, they freak out and try to run away.
– A large portion of the congregants do leave before the end of Mass and other activities.
– If I ask why they don’t get to know each other or support each other, my question is met with hostility of “that’s for weak Protestants!” Examples of this sentiment can be found even on this thread.
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I find this a very harsh and superficial appraisal.

On the surface yes, but… as I have said elsewhere there is mass and there is after mass… Most folk take time to get to know others… the “happy chatty” approach can be as nourishing as candy floss ( cotton candy)

And church is a part of our lives and only a part.
 
LiamQ said:
But you know, this cuts both ways.

I have encountered people in my day who consider Protestant churches to basically be a country club where people go to socialize and to network. Some folks may even use that as a reason to avoid Christianity altogether. “These people aren’t here for God, they’re here to meet nice folks they can build friendships with. I can do that at my Mensa club.” That’s a very judgmental attitude, but not everyone will see an active fellowship in a non-critical manner. Especially if that fellowship happens to be a bit of a church-running clique.

My own mother stopped going to church because of reasons like that, coupled with a perceived hypocrisy on the part of certain church members. I’m of course not saying she’s right on this, but I’m sure she’s not alone. And I’m sure a lot of the folks who are drawn to simply watching televangelists on Sunday feel the same. “Better messages, less social drama.”

So yes, I agree with you … but it’s not always a good thing.
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Resonating if with a wry smile, with so much of this.

I rather hate the word “felllowship”. For the superficiality and obligation it expresses.

When I was at university and Church of England then, I would get up very early and attend midweek communion at the Christian Fellowship there.

There was breakfast afterwards and in my newness and loneliness, I hoped for company. And no one spoke to me. They did the serving of food then off to their friends.

Because they had friends, relationships, Things that take time to build,

The superficial stuff is …meaningless . I can remember in later years the increased deptth of loneliness of going home after a church event. Shudders…

Many years later I can remember driving to an event with a car full of baking to hlep and thinking " Is this what it is all about? Selling food no one really needs to people who have had a good tea already…"

And the amount of work that does into these events when there are people out there in real need… Once baked over 80 Cornish pasties for a church sale…

And another aspect; it separates us from non Catholics and non Christians. Do we really want a ghetto? (sorry; maybe too strong a word)

The more events the more work the less for others?

I am rarely out now and it has made me think all the more as I tend to meet many folk and chat to them easily. Some become pen friends. Most? I have no idea re their faith or lack of it. They are all God’s people and dear to Him and do , are dear to me.
 
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