Jokes/Puns you would like to share

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Once during a homily, a neo-mod priest scolded Mass attendees for kneeling and for praying with hands together instead of Orans style. “That’s not how things were done in the old church!” he told them. All while standing on synthetic fiber carpet, speaking into a wireless microphone, under electric lights, in a building with a HVAC system.

(Based on an actual account.)
 
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Did you hear the latest from the world of science? They’ve made a remarkable breakthrough. They’ve discovered a substance that is so powerful that it’ll dissolve anything. Now all they have to do is figure out what to put it in…
 
Breaking news,

Trump just signed an executive order Banning pre shredded cheese.

He is determined to Make America Grate Again !
 
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Rose color candles must be super expensive again this year. So the parish advent wreath is making do with all purple ones.
 
What’s the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup.

Anyone can mash potatoes.
 
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