Jones' bothered by toys in our front yard

[genealogist]

My swipe at home scholers was to point out that sometimes when one opts out of the group way of doing things ie. school based education, one opts out of many group ideas including a nice clean neighborhood where everyone picks up after themselves). In those cases(and I don’t know if Rose and Lily meet these criteria) maybe it is they who could live on twenty acres and not me.

 

[Mom_of_one]

genealogist:

None of us live on JJ Blue’s block so we don’t know what mean motives people have. However, even if a snot with 3 BMWs says something unpleasant but TRUE it is still true. I am not dismissing Blue’s hard times but again why can’t the older healthy boys pick up the toys? Really is that immoral or wrong to expect toys to be tidy?

The it is their yard argument is a bit juvenile. Should my son not clean his room? It is his, isn’t it? It is not unsafe just unsightly? Close the door if I don’t like it?

Malicious gossip is a sin but while untidiness may not be a federal offense it does annoy especially when with minimal effort it can be tidied up by THEM, it is their yard.

Re-read the post. The toys mentioned were a sandbox, a basketball net, a swimming pool in the summer, and 5 ride on toys. OK, the ride on toys can be put away, no problem, but not the others.

 

[StratusRose]

genealogist:

Roe and Lilly,

Just to humor me would either of you ladies happen to homeschool?

Not that it’s any of your business but I don’t even have kids and I’m not married.

 

[StratusRose]

genealogist:

My swipe at home scholers was to point out that sometimes when one opts out of the group way of doing things ie. school based education, one opts out of many group ideas including a nice clean neighborhood where everyone picks up after themselves). In those cases(and I don’t know if Rose and Lily meet these criteria) maybe it is they who could live on twenty acres and not me.

Wow, that’s a pretty presumptuous conclusion you came to. I am not even sure how that correlates. So if I don’t want to put my kids in a school then that means I won’t clean my yard…

I wish I lived on 20 acres by myself, but for the time being I live in a townhouse in Baltimore County.

 

[felra]

My swipe at home scholers was to point out that sometimes when one opts out of the group way of doing things ie. school based education, one opts out of many group ideas including a nice clean neighborhood where everyone picks up after themselves). In those cases(and I don’t know if Rose and Lily meet these criteria) maybe it is they who could live on twenty acres and not me.

I fail to follow your logic and unfounded conclusion that folks who choose to homeschool their children are slobs.

Let’s get this thread back on topic, ehhh? :ehh:

 

[genealogist]

Rose, I did not come to a conclusion. I had a presumption that proved to be wrong. My thinking is that for eg. people are usually, pro-life, pro-family. Home many militant pro-lifers are there that are openly practicing homosexuals?

My experience with the home schoolers is that the faith is the most important thing in their lives which is GOOD!

However there are other aspects of life that are not trying to compete with God and are also good. That seems to be lost on some. My example with the Hasidim was to show that they keep kosher, observe the Sabbath laws, pray, study and work but that leaves them no time apparently for basic yard care. JJ Blue has a rough family situation but I think it is a manageable burden to put the ride on toys away. Just like I brush my hair and teeth every day, wear clean clothes etc. Is in anyone else’s business maybe not but if I look disheveled what do I expect people to say?

 

[Shiann]

I agree, some of genealogist’s comments seem to be a little off the wall, but we have to admit, the general philosophy still applies…

genealogist:

None of us live on JJ Blue’s block so we don’t know what mean motives people have. However, even if a snot with 3 BMWs says something unpleasant but TRUE it is still true. I am not dismissing Blue’s hard times but again why can’t the older healthy boys pick up the toys? Really is that immoral or wrong to expect toys to be tidy?

The it is their yard argument is a bit juvenile. Should my son not clean his room? It is his, isn’t it? It is not unsafe just unsightly? Close the door if I don’t like it?

Malicious gossip is a sin but while untidiness may not be a federal offense it does annoy especially when with minimal effort it can be tidied up by THEM, it is their yard.

Maybe some areas in the back can be set up for their more permanent play things.

Again, there are a lot of variables in this situation. The OP threw out the scenerio in hopes to get some good advice and maybe some support. I think it is perfectly reasonable to assume that she can take the advice given here, that she believes best applies in her situation.

But taking the situation as a whole, the advice from genealogist regarding tidiness is still true and good advice in general.

If I were in the OP position, I would attempt to get my stuff in the back yard. The bit of hassle that would come within my family (having to watch the kids closer, etc.), would for me be outweighed by the possible and probable future problems with neighbors.

Good luck to you!

And may God look upon your family with favor.
:angel1:

 

[felra]

genealogist:

My experience with the home schoolers is that the faith is the most important thing in their lives which is GOOD!

However there are other aspects of life that are not trying to compete with God and are also good. That seems to be lost on some.

You have an obvious bias and bone to pick with people who choose to homeschool their children. I am curious as to why? (Could it be that they represent something that you disown in yourself?). There comes a time to throw away the shovel of illogic that one is digging themself a hole in with.

 

[The_Angelus]

Oh, my. What next? Will the Self-Appointed Homeowners decide that we can no longer park cars older than 2004 models in our driveways? My poor little Ford.

But seriously, your neighbors are really being dumb about this. This isn’t very Christian of me, but this is what I’d do.

Go over to the worst of your neighbors (if you can tell!) with all 4 of your kids. Tell Neighbor:
“Hey, I gotta pick up the toys and clean up my yard and driveway. Spouse is at work. Can you babysit while I fulfill your demands?”

Previous to this, dose the kids up on Mountain Dew or something, enough to send them bouncing off the walls and running amok everywhere. Don’t bother to bring their toys - let them improvise with what they can find.

If Neighbor says no, your line is:
“Well, I guess I’ll have to spend the day taking care of these 4. Do you want that yard cleaned up or don’t you? 'Cause if you don’t want to babysit, I can’t clean up the yard.”

So either way you have him. If he says yes, he gets to deal with 4 hyperactive kids running amok through his grounds. If he says no, he gets to deal with your yard. Don’t put the dilemma on yourself. Put it where it goes - back at the starting point.

If Neigbor 1 refuses, go to the next neighbor and do the same.

This is seriously wicked of me, but good luck! As for your neighbors: :banghead: :bigyikes:

 

[deb1]

The_Angelus:

Oh, my. What next? Will the Self-Appointed Homeowners decide that we can no longer park cars older than 2004 models in our driveways? My poor little Ford.

But seriously, your neighbors are really being dumb about this. This isn’t very Christian of me, but this is what I’d do.

Go over to the worst of your neighbors (if you can tell!) with all 4 of your kids. Tell Neighbor:
“Hey, I gotta pick up the toys and clean up my yard and driveway. Spouse is at work. Can you babysit while I fulfill your demands?”

Previous to this, dose the kids up on Mountain Dew or something, enough to send them bouncing off the walls and running amok everywhere. Don’t bother to bring their toys - let them improvise with what they can find.

If Neighbor says no, your line is:
“Well, I guess I’ll have to spend the day taking care of these 4. Do you want that yard cleaned up or don’t you? 'Cause if you don’t want to babysit, I can’t clean up the yard.”

So either way you have him. If he says yes, he gets to deal with 4 hyperactive kids running amok through his grounds. If he says no, he gets to deal with your yard. Don’t put the dilemma on yourself. Put it where it goes - back at the starting point.

If Neigbor 1 refuses, go to the next neighbor and do the same.

This is seriously wicked of me, but good luck! As for your neighbors: :banghead: :bigyikes:

Funny, but…let’s don’t assume that all the neighbors are in on this. Maybe some of them have gotten letters in their mailboxes and are secretly annoyed themselves.

 

[StephanieC]

First of all, bless you, JJBlue! Your class, graciousness, and charity shine through in your posts.

I think my initial reactions would be hurt, then anger, then frustration…

There are many clever things we could come up with that would teach your neighbors a lesson or two, aren’t there?

At the end of the day, though, we are called to be witnesses to the Gospel of Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. As trite as it may sound, let’s sit down and think: what would Jesus do? What would Mary do? What would Bl. Zelie Martin, mother of St. Therese (and her 9 siblings) do? Not just theoretically; what would they actually–practically–do?

I’m not saying it would be easy for me–no, far from it!–but I think the conclusion I would reach would be to “kill” them with kindness.

Someone suggested that you simply pick up the toys. Yes, that could resolve the issue, but does it really make your lives any better in that neighborhood? There will still be resentment & mistrust aplenty.

Maybe there is some small gesture of kindness you could extend to all of your neighbors, not just the ones you supsect of sending the note. Send them over some brownies…have the kids make them cards…maybe even invite them over for dessert!..umm, I don’t know…but do you see what I’m trying to say?

Believe me, I am not saying that this would be easy for me, or any of us to do. I just wanted to throw my 2 cents in for more perspective, even though I’ll bet you’ve already started thinking along these lines. God bless you and your family! (And God bless your neighborhood, too. )

 

[Lilyofthevalley]

Whether or not I homeschool is not pertinent to this discussion. However, no, I do not homeschool.

 

[kage_ar]

Yesterday, I did make some off the cuff replies – reading this today, I have thought about this on a different level.

We are instructed in Romans 12:18 to “If possible, on your part, live at peace with all.”

An easy way to get those 70 lb blocks out of the yard – Freecycle them. Join your local freecycle yahoo board, and post them as available. Someone will take them. That would solve one problem J

 

[AuntMartha]

genealogist:

If Jews scoffed at the local laws like this thoughout history, can one wonder why they may not have been so well received by a very diverse group of people across the map?

genealogist:

My swipe at home scholers was to point out that sometimes when one opts out of the group way of doing things ie. school based education, one opts out of many group ideas including a nice clean neighborhood where everyone picks up after themselves). In those cases(and I don’t know if Rose and Lily meet these criteria) maybe it is they who could live on twenty acres and not me.

Shame on you for these bigoted comments.

http://instagiber.net/smiliesdotcom/otn/angry/nono.gif

 

[Pete2]

You might want to try to see this from their perspective. A constantly messy front yard is an eyesore, it can bring down property values because curb appeal counts for everything, and it’s not very neighborly. No one should have to look at a kids swimming pool, a sandbox, and toys littered around someone’s front yard.

It sounds like someone went a little too far, and made you feel bad about it, and I would never advocate something like that. But I bet everyone on the block secretly wishes that you would clean up your yard.

The right thing to do is not lash out at the entire neighborhood about it. I can’t believe some of the things that people are suggesting here.

Pete

 

[genealogist]

I gladly apologize for the tone of my posts and any bigotry perceived by others.

My intent was to try and give some support to the neighbors. Just because they chose to be anonymous and gossip does not make them worthless. Most, if not all of us, are discussing this anonymously, no?

It is interesting that there is a strong tone against the BMW crowd in this neighborhood, none of whom we know. Likewise, one of the beefs I have with homescholers is a sense of superiority that they figured out how rotten parochial and public schools were. Apparently, those of us who send kids to these schools are not up to snuff. I know homeschoolers don’t see it that way, but it is how they are seen by more than a few public and parochial school families.

No one and no group is perfect. The comments to my posts show that I am still working on expressing the views I hold without angering people. When people and groups are not allowed to be criticized, they grow spoiled like children without discipline.

Difficult circumstances give you some lee way but not outright defenses to faults. I had a mom of a Down’s Sndrome adult tell me that he was always clean and expected to behave. People would not tolerate it otherwise. She was annoyed with the behavior of MR kids in her CCD class because the parents were too soft and did not expect the best that the kids could do. She was not expecting them to be perfect but to behave the best they could. I defer to her many years of experience as a mom and as a catechist. She made no attacks on the people who expected her son to be dressed, clean and behaving. No mention was made of the cars anyone owned either. BTW what does money have to do with a tidy yard?

 

[johnq]

genealogist:

It is interesting that there is a strong tone against the BMW crowd in this neighborhood, none of whom we know. Likewise, one of the beefs I have with homescholers is a sense of superiority that they figured out how rotten parochial and public schools were.

Do you realize that you are defending the BMW crowd and attacking homeschoolers even though it is the same trait you say they both have? If they both demonstrate “a sense of superiority” then why support either one?

 

[The_Angelus]

BRRRRINNNGGG

BRRRRINNNGGG

Wakeup call. I am not trying to be arrogant or anything but shouldn’t we knock off the flaming here? It’s not for us to call each other bigoted, illogical, presumptuous, or anything. The speck in our brother’s eye and all that. This is getting really close to a flamewar which would be unChristian, unpleasant, and pointless.

Please, civility. Let’s just quit it here and call it a draw, okay?

Pretty please? :bounce:

 

[Black_Jaque]

I can’t believe only one other person could see that Genealogist has a point.

However, there is a line somewhere in the middle.

I grew up in small-town America, I live in small-town America. Since when has it become expected that all toys be picked up from the front yard?

I don’t think the line should be drawn at no toys allowed in the front yard. Nor should it be drawn at any amount of clutter in the front yard is acceptable.

And we let our kids play in the front yard every day. Even in the street! And if I ever felt uncomfortable about this I would relocate or do something about the crime problem.

The fish biologist here in the Midwest are screaming with alarm because the Lake Michigan Perch population is missing entire age-classes of young perch. The lack of evidence of youth is alarming.

If I were looking for a neighborhood to move into, I’d pick one with lots of kids playing games in the street. If I pulled into a neighborhood and didn’t see Tonka Trucks and basketballs in plain view, I would leave black rubber marks as I threw the car in reverse!

That said, I have seen houses that overdo it with the mess. In those cases Genealogist has a point. But there is no clear line to be drawn. You can’t set one standard for tidyness and apply it accross the nation. Some people are more comfortable with a little mess, others are neat freaks. As long as people are free to move about, the neat freaks can group up and the slobs can group up. I like my neighborhood the way it is - right smack in the middle.

And I hope you don’t mind seeing me sitting in my lawn chair, wearing an undershirt, with a mug o’ beer in hand. What a life! I can drink beer while making sure my neighborhood is peaceful.

And I do make an evening trip around the yard picking up the general clutter. But the poor neighbor seldom benefit from it because by then it’s nigh dark, and my kids will have it messed up by morning anyway. We homeschool too, so the mess is more than ordinary, since children are home 24/7.

 

[Rob_s_Wife]

than the OP’s yard! Just to set the record straight:

I do not own a BMW, and never will until they can seat at least 12 - 15. If they should ever make such a model and I can afford to purchase it and I happen to like it - then I will buy it.

I DO homeschool. What of it?! I do not feel “a sense of superiority” because of it, but I do feel it is a superior form of education that is being given to my children. Genealogist obviously feels differently. Well fine then, everyone’s allowed an opinion. Hazard of freedom, I suppose.

My kids do not own or in any way pay for their rooms - I do. Therefore, they keep them clean to my standards. When they move out someday, they’ll do it their own way.

I would rather go to church, give a child a bath, brush my hair/teeth, write this post, help my 5 year old with his memory verses, make dinner, or whatever than spend an entire Saturday or Sunday afternoon making my yard look like a mini-golf course. My yard is mowed and that’s it! I couldn’t care less if I have dandelions or crabgrass. I don’t care one bit if there is a dirt patch under the swingset. We are not lazy people. We work our fannies off for things more important to life now and in the ever-after than a bright green, edged yard with a perfectly planned garden.

People are comfortable in my home I hope. I don’t care if their kids track in some mud - it’ll wash! I don’t sit over dishes after we eat - I want to talk with these great visitors - I’ll do the dishes after the kids are in bed! Come over! Have a seat right here next to me. We’ll chat, the kids will play, and tomorrow we’ll work our fannies off again so that we can afford to sit and chat while watching over these treasures again tomorrow night.

Lighten up people! Life is short and it’s their yard. If it’s not against a violation, then they can put what they want in it for as long as they want. Frankly, I’m envious! A POOL! Yeah! Can we come over?

Martha