Kicked out of my pew!

[JadeStarr]

Alright fine, I’ll concede every last point. And guess what? BIG DEAL? This is the “problem with society” that everyone complains about. No one ever can just let something go. In the cities this is how people get shot (I’ve burried a few “I’m gonna make a stand over a stupid issue” people). In the suburbs this is how fights happen (I’ve been called to be a character reference for people in court over sillyness). The lady was rude, get over it. Be the more mature and adult person and just move and let it go. For the love of all that is holy, its just a seat.
If your life comes down to making a stand and a scene over a seat in church then your life is in pretty bad shape. Pitty the poor woman and move on in life.

In all seriousness this thread sounds like a bunch of chldren shouting, “He started it!”

I couldn’t disagree with you more. IMO, the problem doesn’t lay with the people who confront wrongdoing, it lies with the apathetic. That’s why we have tobacco industries who
encourage young people to smoke, that’s why the alcohol industry has wrecked such
havoc on homes and families. Too many people are seduced by American Idol and
Big Brother and they just don’t care enough to find out about the issues and to speak out.
If you don’t believe me, note how FEW people even bother to vote.
It’s EASY to be “good” if you never get involved.

 

[ElizabethPH]

I think that I kind of did both things in one. I originally tried to make the point to her that hey; there are other places to sit, and I am sitting (kneeling and praying at the time) here so whats the big deal. But when I got that snappy comment back, I decided that it wasn’t the time or place to argue over a spot. I just can’t understand the mentality though. One person. One me taking up onelittle spot- half a metre on a 5 metre long pew.

This individual was just plain weird and you can be consoled to the fact, unless of course you sit in her pew again; you’ll probably never run into this situation again. I would have moved over and patted the seat for her to take. But then she wanted the whole pew!! Well nobody can have a whole pew. Unless it’s reserved. I would have remained and continued to pray the rosary. Or perhaps I’d cower to a place on the other side of the church as far away as I could get from such a person.

 

[GraceSofia]

No, No, No this kind of thing MUST BE STOPPED.

I know people who have left a church never to return ever again because of women like this lady. Imagine a non Catholic comes to the church for the first time only to be confronted by this you think that person is going to stick around?

I know of this happening, they don’t stick around, they leave and they tell everyone they know how horrible Catholics are.

Very good point.

 

[Advocatus_Fidei]

Good grief! I really can’t believe some of the views being expressed on this thread.

Whatever happened to turning the other cheek? What Jesus said, remember?

As for couching it in terms of standing up to evil, that’s incomprehensible.

An older woman ordered someone out of their seat before Mass so that she could sit in their place.
She didn’t snatch food from the starving, she didn’t grab a disabled person’s wallet or wheelchair, she didn’t aim a gun or a fist at anyone.

Perhaps she was mentally ill, we just don’t know. But EVIL? Come on, you need to get out more.

You need to ponder the turn the other cheek passage a bit more deeply, Christ when struck did not turn the other cheek He defended Himself and He always defended Himself against His enemies such as the Pharisees also, in fact He got very, very angry with them several times not to mention the money lenders in the temple.

You have lost your sense of sin if you cannot see that what she did was sinful and therefore evil, the small sins and evils are what the big sins and evils grow from when they are not stopped in their infancy. They are no less evil just because they seem insignificant compared to abortion for example.

 

[catharina]

Good grief! I really can’t believe some of the views being expressed on this thread.

Whatever happened to turning the other cheek? What Jesus said, remember?

As for couching it in terms of standing up to evil, that’s incomprehensible.

An older woman ordered someone out of their seat before Mass so that she could sit in their place.
She didn’t snatch food from the starving, she didn’t grab a disabled person’s wallet or wheelchair, she didn’t aim a gun or a fist at anyone.

Perhaps she was mentally ill, we just don’t know. But EVIL? Come on, you need to get out more.

Agree.

 

[catharina]

There is no point looking for trouble you have missed your chance to correct her now so just let it go.

Of course she may have enjoyed herself so much last time she will now come and tell you to move wherever you happen to sit.

Hilarious.
Thank you.

 

[NewsTheMan]

In titling this thread, you called it your pew!

Pedantic much. It isn’t MY PERSONAL PEW RESERVED FOR ME ONLY FOREVER. But it was my pew in as much as I was kneeling there. It doesn’t belong to me, I don’t own it. But I was occupying it.

 

[catharina]

Pedantic much. It isn’t MY PERSONAL PEW RESERVED FOR ME ONLY FOREVER. But it was my pew in as much as I was kneeling there. It doesn’t belong to me, I don’t own it. But I was occupying it.

Nope.

Your pew, her pew.
Same thing.

 

[PatriceA]

I couldn’t disagree with you more. IMO, the problem doesn’t lay with the people who confront wrongdoing, it lies with the apathetic. That’s why we have tobacco industries who
encourage young people to smoke, that’s why the alcohol industry has wrecked such
havoc on homes and families. Too many people are seduced by American Idol and
Big Brother and they just don’t care enough to find out about the issues and to speak out.
If you don’t believe me, note how FEW people even bother to vote.
It’s EASY to be “good” if you never get involved.

And I couldn’t disagree with you more. I think the problem with our society is that too many people are too aggressive and confrontational and think every single situation is a chance for them assert themselves whenever they feel slighted over the simpliest of things. You have to pick your battles, but being confrontational over a pew? Not one that I would choose to fight.

 

[NewsTheMan]

Nope.

Your pew, her pew.
Same thing.

Right. And you have contributed a lot to the thread with that. Well done.

 

[Cat]

I think Newbie2 has a valid point about the lady being “not right in the head”. I am now dealing with an elderly aunt who has been diagnosed with dementia. She often does and says things that are incomprehensible to me and out of character for her. She has said some extremely rude things and even cursed out my mother (her sister), something that she would never have done before. I remember one day the 3 of us (my mother, my aunt and I) were at mass. At the end as we were leaving the pew my mother (on the outside) stopped to chat with someone for a few minutes while my aunt and I waited still in the pew. My aunt got quite fed up and told me to “give her a push”. I thought she was joking until I saw the look on her face.

Anyway, not saying that this woman had a mental problem, but since we can’t know what’s going on in the other person’s mind and heart, it’s worth considering giving them the benefit of the doubt.

seagal is right.

This is not normal behavior, even from a rude or agressive person. It’s an illness or a reaction to a med.

There’s something wrong with the woman. Sometimes when people are mentally ill or on certain meds, they become belligerent and even violent, and they don’t realize that their behavior is not normal. They cannot be held accountable for “sin” or rudeness because they are not in their right mind.

You definitely did the right thing to move without making a big fuss. You and others could have been hurt.

The only thing I would do differently is to go tell the ushers so that they could keep an eye on her and make sure she does not harm herself or anyone else, and also, if they know her family, to let them know that she is having problems.

 

[NewsTheMan]

Unfortunately, she is definitely not mentally ill. She socializes with her older friends after Mass before driving home (alone). Most likely she isn’t mentally ill I would guess based on that behaviour. Probably a bit old and set in her ways but I don’t think as far as mentally ill

 

[Marie5890]

When I read the original post there was one thought that went thru my mind…

There is no such thing as “my pew” or “my seat” in the Lord’s church.

They are all His.

They dont belong to any of us.

 

[PatriceA]

Unfortunately, she is definitely not mentally ill. She socializes with her older friends after Mass before driving home (alone). Most likely she isn’t mentally ill I would guess based on that behaviour. Probably a bit old and set in her ways but I don’t think as far as mentally ill

You have NO WAY of knowing her circumstances. None of us do, either way.

 

[JadeStarr]

You would actually consider threatening bodily harm to a fellow parishoner over a pew??
There is something really, really wrong with that situation.

I don’t like people pushing me around.
However, I would not directly threaten her with bodily harm, interesting that your mind went there.

 

[PatriceA]

I don’t like people pushing me around.
However, I would not directly threaten her with bodily harm, interesting that your mind went there.

Yes isn’t. Because if you said “meet me out in the parking lot after mass” like you suggested in your post, that is exactly what I would think you meant, bodily harm. And you even said your intent would be to scare the other person you are confronting.

 

[JadeStarr]

Unfortunately, she is definitely not mentally ill. She socializes with her older friends after Mass before driving home (alone). Most likely she isn’t mentally ill I would guess based on that behaviour. Probably a bit old and set in her ways but I don’t think as far as mentally ill

Well…you don’t know that, News. It’s amazing how many folks have these mental disorders that destroy friendships and families. She may be old in body but she sounds
emotionally immature. Kudos to you for doing the right thing.

 

[JadeStarr]

Yes isn’t. Because if you said “meet me out in the parking lot after mass” like you suggested in your post, that is exactly what I would think you meant, bodily harm. And you even said your intent would be to scare the other person you are confronting.

But in a court of law, all I SAID was that she was to MEET me. And yes, my intent would be to intimidate her as she would be trying to do with me. This would be easier for me to do than for the original poster, if a man speaks to a woman like that he could be accused of bullying.

 

[Advocatus_Fidei]

You have NO WAY of knowing her circumstances. None of us do, either way.

Indeed so instead of making excuses for her bad behaviour you should just treat her the way you would treat anyone who tried to bully you into giving them something, which would be to stand up to them so they stop been a bully I would hope.

 

[pnewton]

Being younger is no excuse for bad manners, either, IMHO.

I would have asked her why, and rather this particular church had assigned seating, whether there was a medical condition that needed to be accommadated, whether she thought her telling me to move was reflective of Jesus. Then I would have moved… two feet over and prayed for her… aloud.

Church or no, my sense of justice will not let a bully go on. They always bully others. If it was a mental issue, then this would probably be revealed when I asked her questions. Even then, allowing mentally ill to be rewarded for bad behavior is not the best way to teach them to behave in public.