I saw post 75. You are also in an area that is believed to have more manners and etiquette than some others. Iām in one that is known to have absolutely none. People from other areas always comment on it.I would be willing to bet that that is the exception, not the rule, to nationwide practice. I can think of some ways to test this as well.
ETA: See post #75.
Wow, I hate to even count the prejudicial, if not downright stupid, comments in that post. Iām surprised you didnāt have the bride and groom shooting empty RC cola cans off a fence post from the back of a 4x4 and having moon pies instead of a wedding cake.
I have a questionā¦ how did you hear this from others? How did it just come up in conversation that people did not use their RSVP cardsā¦ maybe because you had to call everyone and it was a hassle? And if people RSVPd like they were supposed to it would make the B&G or hostās life a lot easier?
Ok, well that makes perfect sense, then, that an area with less-than-standard basic manners and knowledge of these things would not use RSVP cards.
Right because you are paying time and a half for the overtime, for the kitchen staff (which is not just the cook, but also the bus boys and the dishwashers).
However, in the Catholic Church, it doesnāt matter who is invited to the wedding ceremonyāanyone (including people who never received an invitation at all) may attend the ceremonyāitās a Mass which happens to have people getting married within it (although there may be some weddings without a Mass, at least where I live, thatās the exception). The reception is an entirely different animal.Excluding children from a wedding ceremony/reception is not always just a matter of a selfish bridezilla not wanting her āperfect dayā spoiled. Every single guest that comes to a wedding reception costs the bride and groom (and/or their parents) extra money for food and drinks (thatās also why itās VERY important to answer an RSVP promptly and let the bride and groom know even if you are NOT coming), and anyone whoās planned a wedding knows how hard it can be to keep the guest list within limits without alienating or offending anyoneDrawing the line at all children below a certain age is one way to do this.
), but would not be insulted in the least if it was specifically noted on the invitiation. I would just think they have their own reasons and wish them the best!I think that the difficulty here is a bit of a practical one - how do you send a ānon-invitation?ā If I want to invite a single person but not a date for that person, how do I put that in an invitation? I agree it would be a good idea to say something in person if it seems like it might be unclear, and I also think it ok to have a guest make an inquiry if it seems unclear.Oh my, no wonder I wanted to elope
I was always taught that manners and graciousness go hand in hand. The test of true manners was to make everyone feel comfortable and welcome. This may conflict with what someone may have read in a book somewhere however. And yes, I understand the posts regarding costs of weddings, RSVPās, etc., but not everyone follows the same rules and regulations. So the gracious thing to do would be to make everyone feel comfortable and truly welcome to celebrate with you. And one way to make sure of that would be not to assume everyone knows what you intend and give people a break and just be specific.
That said, I would likely not attend without my little ones (who are well behaved for twin boys
Peace
I mainly associate with older folks as I donāt get along with people my own age that well. I grew up too fast basically. However, everytime they have parties, this brought up. I belong to a couple other message boards, and they bring it up, too. My friends saw it on the wedding invitation and honestly didnāt know what it meant. Itās pretty much only used for weddings here. Since people are taking longer and longer to get married, most people my age havenāt dealt with many weddings.
I didnāt say the whole state has great manners and etiquette. However, it is still believed to have more than many areas. Of course, saying it has more than this area isnāt saying much. I had a teacher from Minnesota in high school. She said that California people are extremely rude. Everyone agreed with her. People from out of state say it isnāt a west coast thing, either. Itās a California thing. I lived in Illinois for a while. They has wayyyyyyyyyy more manners than people here.Ok, well that makes perfect sense, then, that an area with less-than-standard basic manners and knowledge of these things would not use RSVP cards.
I also like that you only know Iām from Texas and believe that the whole state has great manners and etiquette
Trust meā¦ Texas is great but it isnāt that great lol
I was born in California and lived in the Palm Springs area for a while. People say the same thing about people from the North East. I havenāt found either generalization to be true. I guess it just depends on individualsā experiences.
Well, Iām a devoted Catholic, and I have to say, āthe kids at wedding ceremonyā issue is one I can see both sides of. Christian marriage is about familyā¦ about childrenā¦ and is supposed to be open to life. However, the reality is, as someone who attends a parish that is VERY open to life and has MANY kids at each Sunday Mass, small children often do have a hard time getting through an entire Mass (although Protestant weddings tend to be shorter). I canāt count the Sundays that a child screamed shrilly through the priestās entire homily and I missed most of it. I canāt count the times moms and dads have had to frantically leave Mass with sobbing child in tow. Iāve also been to a wedding where a child screamed - loudly - through the entire wedding vows. Kind of sad and frustrating for the bride, groom, and all those who traveled from far and wide to hear those vows!
The essence of good manners is to make those around us more comfortable.
The advantage of helping out with so many weddings is that we get to see clearly the kind of bride we want to be and avoid alot of these mistakes.
I too have helped and attended many weddings as a single woman (just turned 29 yesterday and still single - but that looks like itās changing FAST! blush :-D). But yes, Iāve been that girl crying in the bathroom more times than once. Iāve been the big sister marrying off the little sister (and welcoming nephew and niece after nephew and niece.) Iāve been the girl-who-was-engaged-but-it-didnāt-last (and correcting people over a year later as they continued to congratulate me and ask when the date was). Kids and all. (And my solution the alcohol issue is to serve a limited amount of beer and wine - no liquor or open bar).Not really. Mass is only when there is consecration of the Eucharist and Holy Communion. There is a Nuptial Mass which has the Rite of Marriage as part of the Mass. Then there is just the Ceremony which is only the Rite of Marriage and leaves out the section of the Mass where consecration of the Eucharist and Holy Communion occur - it is much shorter service and is recommended when one of the couple is not Catholic, or if for some other reason the couple wishes to not include Holy Communion as part of their wedding.
A Nuptial Mass is not the same as the Sunday or daily Mass - the readings are (typically) different, and it has the Rite of Marriage which a Sunday or daily Mass does not have.
Also - just as a point of teaching - the word āMassā when used to refer to the Catholic worship service is always spelled with a capital āMā. It is a proper noun and should always be capitalized.
Thanks for this clarificationā¦ the only thing I would add to it is that Rite of Marriage (without consecration of the Eucharist and Holy Communion) is actually not much shorter than a Nuptial Mass. Itās the exact same format as a Mass, just no consecration. Iād say it runs about 45 minutes compared to the typical, hour-long Nuptial Mass. Of course you can add a few āextraāsā to both the Ceremony and Mass to make it longer if you wish!
~Liza
Yeah, while itās true that most Protestant weddings are shorter in length than Catholic Nuptial Massesā¦ I didnāt like the tone of that post! Besides, if children are raised Catholic then they are used to sitting through full Massesā¦ so you could argue that there is even less reason to ābanā children from a Catholic Mass since (if they were raised Catholic) they are USED to the length of a Mass.
I think it was commedian Larry Miller who stated about brides, āItās my wedding, I want to look the youngest, thinest, most beautiful Iāve ever looked in my life; put my best friends in 1970s prom dresses.āIt was a gross puce (purple/brown) And it was tafetta. Ew.Why do people want their bridemaids to look hideous?
I have to second these thoughtsā¦ now, in some areas of the country the weather is pretty reliable. But back to the original post, if a person doesnāt want kids screaming during their vows, then I am not sure how they can justify a beach wedding. Iāve been to a couple of those and you canāt hear the vows at all due to the sound of the surf and the wind. The open beach is just not that fun for a wedding in my opinion. Not to mention the sand blowing all over your dress, etc. One wedding had a couple live instruments, and you could barely hear them (we were huddled in a group around the bride and groom and could still barely hear), and the sheet music kept blowing away. A lot more could go wrong on a beach than with children in a church, lol.