Kissing! What's the deal with it?

[Ne_OrangeKnight]

If a guy (or gal) is afraid (or reluctant) to give a kiss to a prospective sweetheart, there’s something wrong.

If someone’s afraid, then perhaps there’s something wrong. But there’s still nothing wrong with wanting to refrain. No prospective sweetheart owes you a kiss.

Sam, the Neon Orange Knight

 

[Monica4316]

What is so bad about saving your first kiss for the altar of marriage? We call ourselves faithful and devout Catholics, and yet when someone has higher standards than we do, we make fun and look down upon their decision to save their first kiss. Maybe they have a deeper appreciation for the gift of kissing than you do, so don’t look down upon their decision to save their first kiss. It is their own standard of sexual purity, and we should support them, not make fun of them and ask “What year is this?” This is ridiculous - saving your first kiss for marriage is something beautiful. For those of you who carelessly kiss on mere dates - what if that person doesn’t end up marrying you - then you would have wasted all of those kisses on a stranger!

 

[Charlotte408]

If a guy (or gal) is afraid (or reluctant) to give a kiss to a prospective sweetheart, there’s something wrong.

I would never date someone with this mentality.

Thats like, oh everyones doin’ it…if your not…theres something ‘wrong’ with you…

Oh heck no…I’d **shut a guy down so hard **if he judged me because I didnt want to kiss him. :nope:

 

[CountrySinger]

I pray that you have a safe and enjoyable trip. When you get there - Remember to leave room for the Holy Spirit!!

Your mother sounds great. May she rest well.

You just got me thinking about fun Catholics, or the lack there of… None of my close friends are Catholics. I never thought about it. The guys I am riding with are good moral men. They join me in prayer before we start jumping and after to thank God for keeping us safe. Then, they usually ride around looking for strip bars while I find a gym or an AA meeting. LOL It’s all good.

Well, a religion with rules to govern every little aspects of a person’s life is not going to breed fun people. It will result in neurotic, anal, and judgemental people. Just saying. No wonder why my friends aren’t Catholic. Guilt is not fun to be around. I don’t enjoy being look down upon just because I kiss my boyfriend. shock

Nice Catholics can be found. You just have to look outside of Church activites, we tend to stay out of the pit of judgement. Look for the people who bolt after the Eucharist or after the blessing at the end of Mass. Avoid any sort of Church groups (I made that mistake), that is like going to a shooting range wearing a bull’s eye singing “shoot me”. Can you tell that I’ve been burned by Catholics? Lol.

 

[MtnDwellar]

Well, a religion with rules to govern every little aspects of a person’s life is not going to breed fun people. It will result in neurotic, anal, and judgemental people. Just saying. No wonder why my friends aren’t Catholic. Guilt is not fun to be around. I don’t enjoy being look down upon just because I kiss my boyfriend. shock

Nice Catholics can be found. You just have to look outside of Church activites, we tend to stay out of the pit of judgement. Look for the people who bolt after the Eucharist or after the blessing at the end of Mass. Avoid any sort of Church groups (I made that mistake), that is like going to a shooting range wearing a bull’s eye singing “shoot me”. Can you tell that I’ve been burned by Catholics? Lol.

Thanks for the tips, but, I don’t go to church to find fun people. I go to fun places and find fun people. It is not like we have to arrive at a fundamental theological consensus before we start a card game!

Attending Mass and belonging to the Catholic Church is only about my own spirituality. I haven’t thought about it, but some may look down on me??? I don’t know. I don’t care.

 

[Adeodatus]

This thread is weird.

Don’t people kiss their family members? Their friends? If the family dog comes up and licks you on the face do you think it’s making a pass at you?

:whacky:

OK, now “french kissing” is obviously something that probably ought to be held in reserve at least until the engagement, if not marriage. But just plain kissing? That seems pretty innocuous. I’ve kissed female friends on the lips that I had no intention of romancing. It’s just a sign of love.

It should go without saying that you avoid zones like the ears, neck, etc. since that’s something different. But the cheeks or forehead are basically Free Fire zones, aren’t they? You could kiss a near-stranger on those places and I don’t see how it would be untoward, if it were appropriate to the situation.

Unless I’ve misread the whole thread, and this whole thing has been exclusively about french kissing. That would makes sense to avoid. But a kiss per se has no sexual content at all.

 

[sharmin]

What is so bad about saving your first kiss for the altar of marriage? We call ourselves faithful and devout Catholics, and yet when someone has higher standards than we do, we make fun and look down upon their decision to save their first kiss. Maybe they have a deeper appreciation for the gift of kissing than you do, so don’t look down upon their decision to save their first kiss. It is their own standard of sexual purity, and we should support them, not make fun of them and ask “What year is this?” This is ridiculous - saving your first kiss for marriage is something beautiful. For those of you who carelessly kiss on mere dates - what if that person doesn’t end up marrying you - then you would have wasted all of those kisses on a stranger!

Just because you don’t marry someone doesn’t make them a stranger. I don’t think anyone is advocating kissing a stranger.

 

[sharmin]

In my opinion, anybody who won’t even kiss while dating has some serious intimacy issues. To me that would be a huge red flag to run away.

I agree. I would run in the other direction.

 

[nickybr38]

sigh
This entire thread is just sad.
So much judgment over something so silly.

 

[Honus]

It is not judgment, but it is recognizing a situation for what it probably is.

 

[runningdude]

I would never date someone with this mentality.

Thats like, oh everyones doin’ it…if your not…theres something ‘wrong’ with you…

Oh heck no…I’d **shut a guy down so hard **if he judged me because I didnt want to kiss him. :nope:

I think its all about context. If your sweetheart refuses to both kiss AND refuses to discuss why, then there might be problems. But if the two are comfortable enough to talk about the boundaries and why one doesn’t want to kiss just yet, then you might be a stronger couple for it

 

[tabsie3210]

Recently I was getting to know a person on a Catholic singles site. The person brought up that they don’t kiss on the lips to anyone at any stage of dating until perhaps engagement or marriage. However this person after only 2-3 conversations had no problem talking about sex and how I thought sex would be like. I was like, well how am I supposed to know what it is since I am a faithful Catholic.

What I want to ask people here is this: While dating/courting a person, did you kiss (on the lips) or did you wait till engaged/married? Its my understanding that there is no sin in kissing a person especially if you are romantically attracted to them.

I know a few people who wait till engagement or marriage for kisisng and the thought that comes to me is this: love doesn’t start in a relationship on the marriage day or even the engagement day. It can start even at first sight.

That’s a very odd question because it doesn’t take people like myself into account - I’m not crazy about kissing on the lips. I’ve done it in past relationships, but I actually don’t have as much enjoyment for it as for cheek kissing and hugging. My very first boyfriend and I rarely ever lip kissed and never anything more than that. But I remember tight embraces on the front walk in the light of the patio lamp, and he would kiss my forehead and my hair, while I kissed his hands and his cheeks a lot.

My second real boyfriend was the type to insist on lip kissing and kissing with tongue (and I admitted my sins already and am working to avoid them ever again). While I enjoyed kissing him at times, it wasn’t as much fun or as comfortable as simply holding each other. I prefer tight embraces - arms around each other, no stroking, no heavy petting, the same kinds of hugs I get from my dad and mom. To me, they have a lot more intimacy than making out. You feel so safe wrapped up in the arms of a guy you love and care about. That was an intimacy that was missing from my later relationships, and I missed it much more than anything else.

Probably I would avoid kissing in the future, just because it doesn’t feel as personal and loving. Remember, I’m talking about tight embraces, not heavy petting or stroking or anything seuxal. Your arms are around each other and your hands stay on the same place on each other’s backs. It’s the warmth and closeness I crave, not sexual stimulation.

See, there are all kinds of reasons to avoid kissing - wanting something more intimate than kissing is a good one!

 

[sharmin]

I am not the troll. I don’t make up the rules. St. Alphonsus, The Doctor of Morality of the Universal Church, made that one up. Cafeteria Catholics often choose not to follow the morality given to us from the saints. The saints were here to give us help and guidance. If knowing the truth turns you away from the Church - You can’t handle the truth! I am not at all ashamed to admit that I am trying to live a moral chaste life.

I am not aware of any church teaching requiring us to listen to everything saints have said or did. In fact, I’m quite certain that none of them speak infallibly. If I’m wrong, can you point to something to show me I’m wrong? Some church document that says otherwise?

 

[sharmin]

Thanks for the tips, but, I don’t go to church to find fun people. I go to fun places and find fun people. It is not like we have to arrive at a fundamental theological consensus before we start a card game!

Attending Mass and belonging to the Catholic Church is only about my own spirituality. I haven’t thought about it, but some may look down on me??? I don’t know. I don’t care.

I do agree with you a bit here.

 

[MtnDwellar]

I am not aware of any church teaching requiring us to listen to everything saints have said or did. In fact, I’m quite certain that none of them speak infallibly. If I’m wrong, can you point to something to show me I’m wrong? Some church document that says otherwise?

You are not aware of the document that tells us that the saints gave us additional commandments? I’ll have to make sure you get on the document distribution list.

The saints give us guidance. They give us examples of how we may live a better life. Do your own risk/reward analysis and decide.

 

[fms]

Exactly how far is too far to go with a girl?Be specific.

no passionate kissing, kissing below the chin, or lying down together

 

[canadianguy1143]

All pleasure, outside of marriage, that is associated with the creative power, that is directly willed or desired, and intentionally acted upon, is a mortal sin.

Saint Alphonsus

What constitutes pleasure that is associated with the “creative power”? Some people consider kissing to be a form of pleasure (I sure would), others might consider holding hands, having good discussions etc.