Knanaya Catholics and Endogamy

[SyroMalankara]

I’m sorry if I’m posting anything wrong that us hurting the sentiments of Christian faith.

But isn’t Lord Jesus and Christian Faith something much higher than the culture and traditions. Why should such a heavenly blessing be confined to a few people or churches. Wouldn’t Lord Jesus bless and help everyone who seeks him for help irrespective of their religion.

the Lord would bless everyone but not give everyone to marriage as they feel like, simply because they mistakenly want something. Do you think the Lord should bless a sincere Muslim wishing to marrying his 10 wife or a gay couple wishing to be ‘married’? Not every wish is the Lord’s holy will for you.

I believe in Jesus, and I see Him as someone who is much above these.bounded limitations and that He would always support true love, especially in a world where the institution of marriage and sincere relationships are actually breaking down.

if so, why remain Hindu?

And when a Hindu like me also starts appreciating and believing more Christian faith with an interfaith marriage, isn’t the Christian faith actually expanding on a long term.

Sincerely ask yourself, if all your love ideas and your marriage wish goes wrong. Would you still appreciate and believe the Christian faith? If the girl left you today, would you still pursue Jesus?

And as far as she is considered, I know that she will soon accept her love for me, because true love is God isn’t it?

Godly love is greater than us. What if her heart was set on being a single nun, would you want to change her mind?

But I do not want her to convert. Like I said, I’m only happy in going to church. So I wish I could help her continue her belief in Jesus by protecting her religious beliefs, especially considering Knanaya community.

if you did get married, would you go to church when she cannot due to work or other commitments? Would you take any children on your own? Would you continue attending a Catholic Church, even if she later left the Church or even the Christian faith?

Whom should I seek personal help in this matter by direct contact?

first, find out if she is interested. If so, you should both approach her priest. If she is not, there is nothing further to discuss. She has the right to say no.

 

[Akhil]

the Lord would bless everyone but not give everyone to marriage as they feel like, simply because they mistakenly want something. Do you think the Lord should bless a sincere Muslim wishing to marrying his 10 wife or a gay couple wishing to be ‘married’? Not every wish is the Lord’s holy will for you.
if so, why remain Hindu?

I would have converted to Christianity. But there is isn’t any use of that in this case as far as I have understood because the Knanaya Catholics are anyway endogamous which in my opinion is good thing in protecting their culture but isn’t allowing it to expand. Wouldn’t it be more joyous and according to Lord Jesus’ way if everyone who believes in God can enjoy.and be part of those traditions too.

Also are we all not humans. Is there actually a need for one to convert to believe in Jesus. Are all creatures in this planet Christians? But aren’t they all His own creations? Shouldn’t Christianity be open to all those who believe I God; and by God I do not mean something that is confined to Temples, Churches, Mosques or so. Sure these are.divine places and even I’m enlightened and feel blessed and at more peace when I visit them. But won’t humanity be more enlightened and happy when all places are considered divine and we live happily in peace in this divine world created by Him

Sincerely ask yourself, if all your love ideas and your marriage wish goes wrong. Would you still appreciate and believe the Christian faith? If the girl left you today, would you still pursue Jesus?

As I have said my family and.myself believe in.Jesus right from.our childhood and not because she has come into.my life. We have gone and attended prayer in several churches over the years and will continue to do so because we do believe in Jesus. And for me Jesus I is not someone confined to limitations. He is much powerful and much above all Church, temple, religions, traditions and everything. He is the supreme.

Godly love is greater than us. What if her heart was set on being a single nun, would you want to change her mind?
if you did get married, would you go to church when she cannot due to work or other commitments? Would you take any children on your own? Would you continue attending a Catholic Church, even if she later left the Church or even the Christian faith?
first, find out if she is interested. If so, you should both approach her priest. If she is not, there is nothing further to discuss. She has the right to say no.

As far as I’ve understood her choice is never to be a nun as of now. I wonder of she would actually go on to make such a decision because I can see so much confusion in her eyes in making a choice right. As long as I can’t offer her a solution ( and a solution I’m seeking would be one where she can still remain a Knanaya catholic and me a Hindu and our child raised catholic optimally or to keep supporting her in continuing her belief in Christianity and Lord Jesus irrespective of if she gets excommunicated at the worse as well as not embarass her family) she is most.likely to pray and seek help from Lord Jesus in making a choice. If then Lord Jesus asks her to be a nun, I would accept her choice because that is what God asked her to do. But I don’t think Lord Jesus will ever as her to leave and forget me just because I’m not a Christian and because she is a Knanaya Catholic.

Also as I have said, my belief in Lord Jesus is something that existed before she came into my life. I plan to take my children to church every Sunday to attend prayer irrespective of if she is able or unable to attend( only because she isn’t well, I want her to attend church in any other case). This is something I have decided to do so even if she leaves Church for me because I don’t believe that one has to be Christian to believe in Lord Jesus because as I said he is much above everything in this universe. He is something that cannot be confined to any word or tradition or religion or power by us humans.

I’m very happy that you have opened up this question and are replying to my questions. May be Lord Jesus would want something to happen or change through this discussion. Thank you and sorry once again for any mistakes of so.

 

[Akhil]

Hello Dear Friend,

If a Knanaya marries out of the community, then he/she is no longer considered Knanaya. That individual then has the choice to convert to his/her spouses Church or they may have their records transferred to the nearest Syro Malabar diocese. This is the universal custom of endogamy for Knanayas. Their is however a minority movement in the community to not excommunicate tho who marry out, “once a Knanaya always a Knanaya”. However this movement has not really taken hold, the majority of the community still holds on to the traditional practice. Also I am from Houston, here we still practice traditional endogamy, no such changes have been made.

In your case my friend, I agree with you. God is love, so follow your heart and if you want to marry her, than so be it. Don’t waste the chance for love just because of a communities practice. My family is not the most “zealous” of Knanayas, and we have had many children marry out. I have three Caucasian cousins, a Sikh cousin, a Hindu cousin, and a Muslim cousin. Sure many of my uncles and aunts were not happy at first but quickly they loved our new family members. Today these cousins-in-law are ingrained very deeply into my family and our culture. It is not that big of a deal, so in the most honest recommendation of a Knanaya Catholic, go for love my friend or else you will regret it forever. If you plan to convert however, it would be must prudent to join the Syro Malabar Church so she can retain her East Syriac Qurbana.

Dear friend,

Thank you for your reply. Can you please explain.more.about the case.of your Hindu.cousin? Was there.any conversions? Is the knanaya person still allowed to be part of the knanaya community and if not what has he/she done? And what were the big difficulties they had to face before and after marriage?

I would like to know more because I want to give my girl the best life that I can. I sure know that we’ll be faced with difficulties but it would be lot helpful to hear from experienced persons so that we can move on happily. Thank.You.

 

[Thomas48]

Dear friend,

Thank you for your reply. Can you please explain.more.about the case.of your Hindu.cousin? Was there.any conversions? Is the knanaya person still allowed to be part of the knanaya community and if not what has he/she done? And what were the big difficulties they had to face before and after marriage?

I would like to know more because I want to give my girl the best life that I can. I sure know that we’ll be faced with difficulties but it would be lot helpful to hear from experienced persons so that we can move on happily. Thank.You.

I actually have 3 family members that joined the family originally Hindu. An aunt, an uncle, and most recently a cousin-in-law so to say. The first one occured decades ago when my uncle married a Hindu woman. My grandmother (his mother) was extremely against it but he stood strong saying that he loved her and they got married. She converted to Catholicsm and he is Catholic but no longer Knanaya.

The second was with my aunt on the other side of the family. She had had complications with a Knanaya man and she divorced him. Later she found love with a Hindu man she met upon moving to the States. There was no objections from the family. Upon marriage, he stayed Hindu and she stayed Catholic no longer Knanaya however. Her kids from the previous marriage are however still Knanaya and her new kids with my Hindu uncle are being allowed to chose if they would like to be Hindu or Catholic as they grow up. They live happily and never have had any compliclations from a religious aspect.

The newest Hindu member of my family married my cousin this year. He stayed Hindu however and my cousin converted to Hinduism. Their wedding was done in the Hindu way and even my Knanaya family were given roles during the wedding traditions. No one really objected except for my grandmother (the same one from the ealier instance) but my cousin stayed strong in her will and my grandmother eventually relented. Once again no complications here. My family has always been loving but they beleive that it is their (my cousins) life, let them live as they want too aslong as they are not making any bad decisions and marrying for love is not a bad decision.This new cousin in law has been accepted into my Knanaya family and they are living very happily.

To be honest with you, the majority of the time atleast the cases I’ve seen, when someone marries Non-Knanaya, the complications and tensions only occur before the marriage. Once the marriage happens, it is done and the the Knanaya family members gradually love the new individual (just as a normal marriage would be). This is usually the case, unless the family is an overly zealous/prideful Knanaya family. Do you believe her family to be this way? Or do you think they are more laid back like my own in the examples I’ve given you?