Thanks to Miss Linda, Shin, Carl VDW, GwenL, ljubim, and all those who gave good suggestions, encouraged and helped me!
Unfortunately it is not possible for me to go to a TLM parish, as there aren’t any in my area. After the Motu Proprio in Sept 2007, I was so excited about it being incorporated in my archdiocese, but it was a great disappointment when I struggled to find even one TLM! I have limited ability to move around from parish to parish, as I rely on my wonderful (Protestant) parents for transport, and don’t want to put them out driving far to a church. I only usually visit other parishes if it is a special diocesan festival – or if my priest is away, I go to other local parishes for Mass.
I only went to two other parishes with altar rails; the one in the previous suburb I lived years before I converted, and where the seeds of my love for Catholicism were planted. I am still hoping to go down memory lane and visit that parish one day. The other one is also far away and is the biggest parish in the archdiocese, but they don’t use the altar rails for Communion (at least I don’t think so). All the other places I went to they weren’t any rails, sadly.
I will keep in mind the idea of waiting to go up at the end of the line, or keeping a gap between myself and the person behind me. It is a very uplifting and encouraging thought that I may be an example for others to imitate, because my parish is very casual and needs some liturgical pick-me-up’s! And I do agree: to worry about if I look holier-than-thou is fruitless. To be scared to be mistaken for a Pharisee is almost as harmful as being one. The Church needs courageous people who set the tone for awesome worship again! My main fear was more a concern that I would attract undue attention and be self-conscious.
My parish has a variable Communion distribution setup. On Sundays it is just under one kind, given by Father and two EMHC’s, and weekdays it is Father giving out the Hosts and an EMHC giving out the Chalice. But sometimes Father swaps with the EMHC and gives the Chalice whilst they give the Hosts. I don’t like this swapping of positions, but try to bear it. With this in mind, I thought of the following ideas to slowly incorporate the practice of kneeling for Communion…
On weekdays when Father gives out the Hosts, I could then begin my kneeling for Communion, and those days just receive under one kind. Then if the EMHC gives out the Hosts, I could stand and receive under both kinds. Later when I am brave enough to kneel on Sundays, it wouldn’t be a problem to just go to Father and receive from him. I don’t quite know if I can wait until the end of the line, though, because I sit in the second row from the front (and, as a sacristan, it is more convenient). If I had to wait until the end of any of the three lines, I would possibly be unable to get back past those kneeling for prayers after Communion. It was embarrassing in the past to get people kneeling to move for me to go past – and especially with a Host in my mouth, I couldn’t whisper “sorry” or smile too widely to them!
Oh, and yes, I think it is a good idea to inform Father of the intent to kneel. I have spoken to him about it before, and he is quite happy to accommodate it. He said there was a woman in his previous parish that knelt for communion in Sunday Mass. Now it up to me…
God bless
Dolores