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Luvtosew
Guest
Yes the Knights are good, but no reason for secrecy , I woud certaintly want to know what my husband or son was involved in.
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wondrousgnat
Guest
I tried to join the KofC some years back and heard nothing. Wrote them once and left a message on the machine. Still heard nothing. Eventually I moved after retiring and my new parish has nothing going on and I needed something. So I called this KofC and left a message. Never heard a thing. About two and a half years ago I succeeded in joining a KofC at a different parish. But I never heard from them again and I don’t know when their meetings are and so am unable to get involved. Wondered if my reputation preceded me.
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Richard320
Guest
The outrage over a secret is just so typically female. A guy could go fishing with his pals, and tell you all about what lure he chose and why and his wife would just tune him out, uninterested. Or give her the hole-by-hole playback of his latest golf game, and she would nod and tune him out. What if he starts telling her about the argument he had over whether a Dana 44 or a Ford 9" is the best choice for someone’s hotrod? Ignore. But tell her he can’t tell her something and suddenly she demands to know everything!
Do women have to try and ruin everything for men? Can’t a guy hang out with other guys and not divulge everything?
Who says there are no secrets in a marriage? I’ve been married five years and I still have no idea how much my wife weighs. I can guess, but I’d be [sup]+[/sup]/-20 lbs at least, and if I guessed the wrong way and said it out loud…ooh,boy, here comes trouble.
“C’mere. Get on the scale. I wanna see how much you weigh,” didn’t go over big when I tried that approach, either.
Do women have to try and ruin everything for men? Can’t a guy hang out with other guys and not divulge everything?
Who says there are no secrets in a marriage? I’ve been married five years and I still have no idea how much my wife weighs. I can guess, but I’d be [sup]+[/sup]/-20 lbs at least, and if I guessed the wrong way and said it out loud…ooh,boy, here comes trouble.
“C’mere. Get on the scale. I wanna see how much you weigh,” didn’t go over big when I tried that approach, either.
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Luvtosew
Guest
My nephew is joing the RCC just to become a Knight. He’s in RCIA now.
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BlueEyedLady
Guest
Awwwwww…you’re a good husband!
I agree with you! My fiance and I do many things throughout the day that we don’t tell each other about, simply because it doesn’t come up and it isn’t worth talking about. But I am already set to make an oath to him. I cannot take another oath to keep things from him, no matter how harmless they are. That second oath to keep things from him would completely undermine the one I am taking to him.
I am really surprised that Catholics are ok with this. Taking an oath in front of god to become one with another person and then turning around and joining a society that requires you to vow not to tell certain things to that person doesn’t sit right with me. Like I said, it doesn’t matter how harmless it is, its the principle of the thing.
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maryjk
Guest
There is a huge difference between not discussion something with your spouse and not being ALLOWED to discuss something with your wife.
I grew up in a household where both of my parents had federal security clearances. Neither were allowed to talk about their work. But the reason was national security, not some juvenile hush hush man group. Come on, people, get over yourselves.
po18guy
Well-known member
Marriage is a Sacrament. Voluntarily joining a fraternal organization is not. Simple enough for this simple guy to understand.
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BlueEyedLady
Guest
Your wife is a lucky woman!
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Luna_Lovecraft
Guest
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EasterJoy
Guest
What makes you think this business of wanting to be in the know has to do with the secret being held among men? Have you seen how comfortable some women are with letting other women* go to the bathroom by themselves?*
This may be why unisex bathrooms were not invented sooner!
It’s not as if they have to keep the proceedings secret only from their wives. They’d have to keep it from their sons, too, for instance, too. They’re supposed to keep it secret from anyone who hasn’t been through it. The organization doesn’t want future members to know what is going to happen beforehand. It is not a big deal; they just have a bit of common sense about what it actually takes to keep anything in a parish secret!!
It is not as if our husbands can’t go out for dinner with a friend without giving us a blow-by-blow of the entire conversation. They have to remain moral, but they’re allowed to have friendships in which private information exists. There are too many Knights who would never keep an illegimate secret. There was no naked woman jumping out of a cake. It’s OK. It can be let go.
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JimG
Guest
I don’t see that it’s much of an issue. When I was in the Air Force, it was common for many people to have varying degrees of security clearances. That means that some aspects of the job could not be discussed outside the workplace with anyone, even spouses. Nobody complained. And the Knights of Columbus are not designing weapons systems–except spiritual weapons systems!
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Havard
Guest
This hubbub is silly.
The secret keeps the experience special for the new guys. Like Kairos… at least from what I gather, anyway, I’ve never been to a Kairos retreat.
I’m sure some husbands have broken their word and told their wives what happens in the degree ceremonies. But why would you want them to? The secrets are pretty irrelevant to anything. It’d be like finding out the end of a novel that you weren’t planning on reading anyway.
The secret keeps the experience special for the new guys. Like Kairos… at least from what I gather, anyway, I’ve never been to a Kairos retreat.
I’m sure some husbands have broken their word and told their wives what happens in the degree ceremonies. But why would you want them to? The secrets are pretty irrelevant to anything. It’d be like finding out the end of a novel that you weren’t planning on reading anyway.
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mary_bobo
Guest
Juvenile? I think it is juvenilel to get ticked off about such a thing. It has been a tradition for many years, we have been assured that there is nothing nefarious about this promise. Grow up and get a life.
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Havard
Guest
In a similar vein, I’m a lawyer. If I get married, (which I hope to) I will HAVE to keep secrets from my wife. Being married doesn’t give me the right to violate my client’s privilege.
Edit: I suppose, like many lawyers out there, I could tell my wife, and assuming she were trustworthy, no external harm would be done. However, I wouldn’t want to marry a woman who would value my promise and my professional ethics so cheaply.
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EasterJoy
Guest
That’s true, although some might think of it as at least getting the plot of a novel that they were forbidden from ever reading. It’s not as if the wife is ever going to have a chance to be initiated herself.The secrets are pretty irrelevant to anything. It’d be like finding out the end of a novel that you weren’t planning on reading anyway.
Still, he made a promise, and she doesn’t have a compelling reason not to let him keep it. Indulging her curiosity is not as important as honoring his promise. I think in the end, it comes down to that.
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Michael_Mayo
Guest
Oh, come on. Most Knights have good solid marriages. If not it is certainly not because of Knight secrecy which is insignificant. That being said, I* would *like to see some updating in the Knights.
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LucyLight
Guest
I know the masons are a whole different issue but they do have this in common with the KofC. Its fine to not tell your wife everything. The issue is that it is a **volunteer organization **that is making you take a vow to not tell your wife something. They shouldn’t have that much control over something like what is said between a husband and a wife. Maybe the wife should take a vow to keep her husband’s secret.
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Havard
Guest
I may be mistaken (I’m not really an active Knight at the moment), but I can’t think of a reason why that couldn’t happen.Maybe the wife should take a vow to keep her husband’s secret.
I don’t see it happening any time soon, though. There would have to be a campaign to do something, and I don’t see enough people caring to mount a campaign.
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BlueEyedLady
Guest
At a basic level though is it even ethical to voluntarily enter in to an organization that requires you to take an oath to keep secrets from your spouse just to join?
The armed forces are slightly different. That’s a matter of your safety, national security, and even your family’s safety. This is a social/service organization that’s requiring you to keep a secret for fun.
The armed forces are slightly different. That’s a matter of your safety, national security, and even your family’s safety. This is a social/service organization that’s requiring you to keep a secret for fun.
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KostyaJMJ
Guest
The vow only applies to the silly little initiation ceremony at the beginning. It’s like a “He-Man Woman Haters Club” for adults.
It seems a little strange to me but many people are drawn to this form of homosocial bonding and KofC provides a catholic version. Allowing women in on the secret would ruin that aspect of the club.
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