Let's Show Runaway Bride a Little Forgiveness

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Most of you have read of the missing-person search for Jennifer Wilbanks who ran away from home because of stress over her upcoming wedding. An article on CNN (cnn.com/2005/US/04/30/wilbanks.found/index.html) says in part:

"Police in New Mexico and Georgia said no criminal charges against Wilbanks were pending, but a prosecutor in Gwinnett County, Georgia, said it was too soon to make that decision.

"District Attorney Danny Porter said he first wants to review statements Wilbanks made to police and the FBI.

***"Wilbanks and Mason were set to be married Saturday. The wedding was to have some 600 invited guests. ***

"‘Originally, it appeared she had been kidnapped, but after talking to the FBI, it turns out that Miss Wilbanks basically felt the pressure of this large wedding and could not handle it,’ Duluth Police Chief Randy Belcher said."

I urge people reading this to email or call District Attorney Danny Porter and ask that he not pursue this matter. Let’s show the woman a little forgiveness, not more stress!

**District Attorney’s Contact Information: **
Danny Porter
(770) 822-8400
Danny.Porter@gwinnettcounty.com
 
The humiliation she must feel far outweighs any punishment that could be dispensed. Cut her some slack. Her fiancee ought to insist on a lenghty cooling off period before going forward with the wedding - perhaps a year. She obviously is less than a stable person.
 
Nice to see a post calling for this. The media and other forums are turning into a vengeful mob.
 
I’m working so I haven’t seen much of the news. Yesterday, just after I heard she was alive and just a runaway bride I saw on MSNBC a thing with the minister who was to have performed the ceremony and after she went missing the prayer service, explaining what had happened. I guess hearing the compassion from him helped nudge me toward that.

I also remember having the thought that some people were going to going to be really critical of her and that I wasn’t going to be one of them. I have no idea what she was struggling with that she made the decisions she did. She just seems scared of so many things.

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Peter_Atlanta:
The humiliation she must feel far outweighs any punishment that could be dispensed. Cut her some slack. Her fiancee ought to insist on a lenghty cooling off period before going forward with the wedding - perhaps a year. She obviously is less than a stable person.
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I do agree with you on this… I actually feel sorry for the parents, etc…
 
Sure she should be forgiven… but forgiving her doesn’t put the thousands of $$'s back that were spent on her search. We have a limited amount of resources and wasting it on a search like this is so upsetting, especially b/c the resources could have been used on other legitimate projects.

No, we as Catholics should not be calling for her damnation but at the same time no one deserves to act like a 12 year old, waste thousands of tax-dollars and get let off with no fines just b/c she got cold feet. She’s a big girl.

This reminds me back in the day when Martha Stuart was in court and I was hoping that she would get a fair punishment for her crime. Many of my friends were saying “Oh but Steph, she wasn’t really doing anyone any harm and after all it was just $X-amount thousand dollars. She really shouldn’t have to pay fines or go to jail!” My response to them was “Well, if you think it’s ok for a homeless person addicted to drugs who steals money from a local store to go to jail, then why in the world is it not ok for a white suburban woman to pay for her crimes?”

Of course we should forgive people, but they deserve consequences too, especially for actions of this magnitude.
 
I agree - but penance and forgiveness. She claimed that she was kidnapped by an Hispanic male in his 40s. It’s a crime to make a false claim like that, isn’t it?
 
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Eden:
I agree - but penance and forgiveness. She claimed that she was kidnapped by an Hispanic male in his 40s. It’s a crime to make a false claim like that, isn’t it?
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Yes, it is a crime to file a false report. HOWEVER, at this point in time the NM police have declined to file any charges. As far as the money and time spent in Georgia, there was no crime comitted there. As far as anyone can tell, it is not a crime to just “up and leave” and it is not the fault of the person leaving that things got so “crazy” after she left. If it becomes a crime to exercise our free choice and go where we like when we like then our country is in big trouble. As far as the “race” issue, that is a non-issue as far as I am concerned.

Karen Anne
 
I suspect that she’s having strong reservations about her impending marriage. :rolleyes:
 
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WhiteDove:
I suspect that she’s having strong reservations about her impending marriage. :rolleyes:
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The interesting part is that she is probably the one who wanted such a big wedding. I don’t know of any guy who would insist on that big of one.
 
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mjdonnelly:
The interesting part is that she is probably the one who wanted such a big wedding. I don’t know of any guy who would insist on that big of one.
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She might very well want a big wedding, but nevertheless, I suspect that she probably has doubts about this guy. (And he hopefully now has doubts about her! :eek: )

P.S. I wonder who was footing the bill for this wedding??? :confused:
 
I think “empathy” should be offered to Runaway Bride. I think it remains to be seen if she’ll be forgiven. After all, she is old enough to realize the pain and anguish her family and friends would have to endure should she just up and disappear 4 days before her wedding. She had the whole thing planned—she purchased the bus ticket out to Vegas on April 19.

Cute Whitedove:) I agree that she must have had some “reservations” about her upcoming wedding.

God Bless
Giannawannabe
 
I just read the BBC story on this little melodrama. I see she is a fellow nurse… :o I wonder what her patients will say when they recognise her… :confused:

I’d say the woman has a strong impulsive tendency. A very attractive lady, by her picture. The Reverand who was to marry them is extolling the virtues of the groom. :hmmm:
 
Karen Anne:
Yes, it is a crime to file a false report. HOWEVER, at this point in time the NM police have declined to file any charges. As far as the money and time spent in Georgia, there was no crime comitted there. As far as anyone can tell, it is not a crime to just “up and leave” and it is not the fault of the person leaving that things got so “crazy” after she left. If it becomes a crime to exercise our free choice and go where we like when we like then our country is in big trouble. As far as the “race” issue, that is a non-issue as far as I am concerned.

Karen Anne
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I don’t think it should be a crime to exercise free choice and go where we like. I do think that when a crime is committed - filing a false police report - that charges should be brought. It’s not a crime to just “up and leave” but it is extremely selfish.
 
All I could think of once I knew she was safe, is “would one of my daughters ever do this?” I really don’t think she ever expected the events that followed her leaving. However, I wonder why because she is not young- I think 32. She will take a long time to get over this and her family may never get over it. Imagine going from worried to death, to embarrassed because of the 600 people invited and then the whole nation watching on TV. It is easy for me to forgive her and not say something bad. However she has some serious problems.
 
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Eden:
I don’t think it should be a crime to exercise free choice and go where we like. I do think that when a crime is committed - filing a false police report - that charges should be brought. It’s not a crime to just “up and leave” but it is extremely selfish.
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Yes - it might be selfish. I say “might” because when one feels they have no way out of a situation (for whatever reason) it is hard to act rationally. And yes, charges should be filed - if for nothing else than to show that a false report cannot be tolerated. However, it seems that the majority of people here want her prosecuted for a crime that does not exist (for all the trouble that was gone to to find her).

Karen Anne
 
I wonder when she became aware of the search. If she left Ga late Tues night, she would have been on the bus for over 48 hrs straight to get to Las Vegas, could 've collapsed in the hotel room late late Thurs night and not yet been aware that it had reached such magnitude. Can you imagine her horror when she realized it was national news? Can you imagine the guts it took to make that phone call to her fiancee who was being portrayed as a possible suspect and being castigated for not taking a lie detector test?

With 14 bridesmaids, I wonder if she isn’t a real people pleaser, just couldn’t figure out how not to offend this cousin or that roommate and cut it off at a reasonable number. This would be consistent with having doubts or being overwhelmed and not wanting to stress anyone out by confiding in them. Eventually she may have just gotten so panicked and hemmed in she had to cut loose.

The life long embarrassment, costs of the wedding, probable loss of some friendships etc seems to me to be punishment enough for her impulsive and thoughtless action. She and her family deserve our prayers.
 
I would find it hard to forgive her. Maybe with the passage of time, I could, but right now, no.

This isn’t just about her. She put her fiance through hell. Imagine the poor guy - not knowing what happened to his fiance, probably suspecting the worst, yet having the police call him a ‘person of interest’ in the case. She put her parents and friends through hell, too. Not to mention her making a false claim of being kidnapped. And not to mention all the money her family will still probably have to cough up to pay for the wedding (restaurant; hotel; limos, etc had to be reserved months in advance).

This was an incredibly selfish act.
 
You know, I don’t think it’s our place to ‘forgive her’. Who are we? We aren’t her parents, we aren’t her fiancee, we aren’t her bridesmaids, and we certainly aren’t God.

She is a woman who behaved foolishly, embarrassed everyone she knows, humiliated herself before the world, and cost the taxpayers a few bucks. She didn’t kill anyone, she didn’t maim anyone for life, she didn’t destroy any property. She didn’t start a war, drown her children or kill her unborn child.

She’s just someone who made the news. So, let’s put this in perspective! :cool:
 
…i suppose that i am a little concerned about the “cry wolf” part of this story… will we amass forces to find another like her as fast, or will we wait to see if the person turns up…

i worry about what it might cost the next “real” kidnapped person…

i don’t know… lots of man hours and resources were spent that could have been used for a bonified victim…

what do you think…
 
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