Glad to read that someone else sees it this way. I’ve always thought the same! Frankly, I think people who are like that (trying to imitate what they see on screen in their lives) are people who are really really really boring people who lack real personal depth and thus want what is actually fantasy, not real. It like they fall for the lie because they don’t know what is real and don’t have it within them.Whereas what porn offers is fairly distinct from what a wife offers.
The role of porn in marriage is kind of like if action movie fans (rather than just being content with watching) weren’t happy until they could screen-by-screen duplicate the death-defying stunts they see in action movies.
Such a good point! Its not the lack of sex that brings man to sexual sin, but his lack of respect for what God intended how sex should be.I… If there is an outlet for sexual desire, e.g., the wife, than sexual sin will not happen. Like wives are sexual “scratching posts” for men.
Do you have a link to where Mr Mohler suggests men with porn addictions should look to get married as a solution? I read his case for early marriage and I think you’re putting words in his mouth.The former president of the Southern Baptist Convention, Albert Mohler, made a rather controversial speech where he addressed an “epidemic” of prolonged singleness. He attributed it to sin. The solution? Early marriage. I kid you not. A single with a porn habit is a married with a porn habit. Marriage does not cure sins. This view is naive and wholly mistaken.
You missed my point. I said that Mr. Mohler views singleness as a problem in his speech “The Mystery of Marriage”. Look it up via Google. I came away with the impression that he viewed singleness as the problem itself and not the symptom of a much bigger problem, such as porn habits. I did not say that Albert Mohler recommend that porn addicted men get married. I used this as an example of what I understood from his speech.Do you have a link to where Mr Mohler suggests men with porn addictions should look to get married as a solution? I read his case for early marriage and I think you’re putting words in his mouth.
Mr Mohler seems to be talking about men and women in their early twenties, ones who are committed to following Jesus, who are encouraged to delay marriage until their late twenties or early thirties. And I think he’s right, if you meet someone young, right in the middle of your sexual prime, it is unrealistic to expect to delay marriage for 4-5 years. It isn’t wise to expect a pair of young lovers to have that level of self control.Another view that I can correctly attribute to Mr. Mohler is his view that delaying marriage is sin.
My view? Marriage can be delayed due to selfish, sinful reasons. However it would be more prudent to address the root cause which is selfishness before one attempts making a go at marriage. After all a person who is selfish single will also be selfish married. The same thing goes for the person with the porn habit. We pay too much attention to the symptom rather than the cause.
I think we have to agree to disagree.Mr Mohler seems to be talking about men and women in their early twenties, ones who are committed to following Jesus, who are encouraged to delay marriage until their late twenties or early thirties. And I think he’s right, if you meet someone young, right in the middle of your sexual prime, it is unrealistic to expect to delay marriage for 4-5 years. It isn’t wise to expect a pair of young lovers to have that level of self control.
The Autism spectrum is huge and can affect people completely differently. For me, it’s like this: I could be somewhere by myself and I could see a beautiful woman that I’ve never seen before. Would I approach and talk to her? No, I probably would not. Why wouldn’t I? Simple. In that kind of situation, I wouldn’t know what to talk to her about. I don’t know what she’s interested in, what she likes, what she dislikes, etc. All I know about her is that I find her attractive. I wouldn’t know how to have an interesting / relevant conversation with her about a topic we’d both find interesting. I’m not a small talk person so I’d be at a loss.I wonder if Aspie men have an easier time getting married than Aspie women. My gut instinct tells me it is. My mother tells me that it is women who do the lion’s share of maintaining the relationship and all the man has to do is be there. This is true based on observing a lot of married couples. Us Aspie women, some more than others may not have the necessary ability for this type of thing. There are always exceptions of course.
I guess you’re going to have to get to know more people, then.The Autism spectrum is huge and can affect people completely differently. For me, it’s like this: I could be somewhere by myself and I could see a beautiful woman that I’ve never seen before. Would I approach and talk to her? No, I probably would not. Why wouldn’t I? Simple. In that kind of situation, I wouldn’t know what to talk to her about. I don’t know what she’s interested in, what she likes, what she dislikes, etc. All I know about her is that I find her attractive. I wouldn’t know how to have an interesting / relevant conversation with her about a topic we’d both find interesting. I’m not a small talk person so I’d be at a loss.
For me, unless the person I’m talking to is already someone I know and care about, talking is about the exchange of information. For me to talk to a stranger, I generally need to know or suspect they have the answer to a valid question I need/want an answer to. Or, I feel I have information they need and I’d want to share it with them. I remember a time I was out with a couple friends (this was before I had ever even heard of Aspergers) and one of them suggested I ask this girl where she worked. I remember thinking that a dumb idea that was because the information she would give me would be useless in and of itself. I’m not shy. Shy implies fear. I’m not afraid to talk to people, I just generally don’t like it unless the person is someone I know things about because then I know what to talk to them about.
It also depends on the reason why marriage is expected to be delayed. Working off school debt makes sense; saving for a fairytale wedding really does not.I think you’re both right. Delaying marriage is not in and of itself a sin. However, it is totally insane to expect people in their early 20’s to just date chastely for 5 years.
There are valid reasons for delaying marriage and invalid ones as well. One the most obvious one is the fact there is no prospective spouse. Not all of us meet the one at age 22 or earlier.It also depends on the reason why marriage is expected to be delayed. Working off school debt makes sense; saving for a fairytale wedding really does not.
IMNAAHO.
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Why? People can develop self-control. If they love God enough, chastity will not be a problem for them.I think you’re both right. Delaying marriage is not in and of itself a sin. However, it is totally insane to expect people in their early 20’s to just date chastely for 5 years.
Ask around on this site. Even the most devout Catholics who love God very much will tell you that chastity is hard, especially if you’re in a long term relationship with the person you want to marry in your 20’s.Why? People can develop self-control. If they love God enough, chastity will not be a problem for them.
I don’t need to ask around. I’m only 32 and had a long-term engagement in my 20s. Chastity is difficult, but if a couple loves each other and God and their faith, giving in to their sexual feelings won’t enter their head.Ask around on this site. Even the most devout Catholics who love God very much will tell you that chastity is hard, especially if you’re in a long term relationship with the person you want to marry in your 20’s.
If there is no prospective spouse, then that is not “delaying marriage” as there is no marriage to delay.There are valid reasons for delaying marriage and invalid ones as well. One the most obvious one is the fact there is no prospective spouse. Not all of us meet the one at age 22 or earlier.
To hear a prominent religious authority say that delaying marriage is sin without giving qualifiers is very demoralizing for people who have not yet been able to find someone at the so called ideal age. This is where I thank God that I am Catholic.
I suspect it has a lot to do with most people delaying marriage until they feel like they are ready to have children.If there is no prospective spouse, then that is not “delaying marriage” as there is no marriage to delay.
Really, the increasing ages at marriage are more related to the now expected “dating and relationship games” than anything else, IMNAAHO.
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If you’re in the position to delay marriage, then you’re in the position to delay dating. It’s wrong to stir romantic feelings in a woman and not be able to follow through in a reasonable time period. I believe do people can control their urges, but I also believe that discretion is the better part of valor. There is no reason young lovers should be encouraged to fight the urge for marriage and family.I think we have to agree to disagree.
If a young couple decides to delay marriage for a particular reason and does not commit sins against chastity than the act of delaying marriage itself does not constitute sin on their part. Merely saying that young people cannot control their sexual urges and must be married as soon as possible is imprudent at best and folly at worst. Why is it a given that young people cannot control their sexual urges?
By the way for Catholic couples where artificial contraception is a no-no, periodic abstinence as demanded by NFP should the couple decide to delay having a child, will still come into play. Married or not, self-control is still demanded of faithful Christians.